parenting: the truth

Raising kids is hard. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done...and I'm not even close to being finished. Well, honestly, you never get to be finished being a parent, but at some point the kids move out and that's close.

It's easy to focus on the negatives of being a parent. My kids never like what I make for dinner. They wreak havoc in a room I cleaned 15 minutes ago. They rob me of my sleep. They throw up on the carpet. They cry at the most inconvenient times. The boy makes annoying noises. The girl never brushes her hair...ever. They leave Legos on the floor and snack wrappers all over the house. One or the other has got their finger up their nose on a regular basis. They complain. They throw fits. They yell mean and nasty things at their mom! And they demand so much attention!!!

But, despite all the chaos that my children bring into my life, all the frustration and anger that has boiled out of me, all the weird and gross noises that come out of them, I am blessed.

I look around me every day and see what I am blessed with in my two children. Every negative thing that happens because of them is completely worth it.

My boy snuggles and kisses my cheek. My daughter tells me she loves me. On random days they will bring me breakfast in bed. They draw me pictures. They make me laugh. They beg to be tickled. They sing. I love to hear my children sing! They think of others and do special things for them. They greet their daddy when he walks in the door. They hug like nobody else. They grow up a little bit each day, becoming more mature and responsible. They love. 

They have taught me patience and selflessness. They have taught me that I can overcome my weaknesses so that I can be a better mom. They have taught me the pure pleasure of holding my child on my lap and just cuddling. They have taught me to have fun. They have taught me how to enjoy the simple things in life and how to simply enjoy my children. I love them with a love like no other. 

These kids, they don't know what they do to me! Although it might seem like they drive me crazy, they are making me into something beautiful and I am loving this whole thing called "Mom."

KC

humility (augh!)

Ever have one of those days when you feel at the top of your game? Dressed to the T. Every hair in place. Lookin good. You start to feel very confident...too confident. And then you trip over a crack in the sidewalk. 

Boom! Confidence shattered!! 

When I was in high school I went to a competition to play some classical piano piece that I had memorized. (Where those memorizing skills went, I have no idea...I think the kids stole them!)  I played flawlessly up on the stage. I came to the two last magnificent chords and...blanked!! I tried a couple chords but they were terrible. I glanced at my Mom (who was in the audience) to see if she was bringing my music but she hadn't gotten up yet. I quickly stood up, did some curtsy/bow thing and walked mortified off the stage. Mor. Ti. Fied.

My husband and I went to Target when our daughter was around 2 years old. We were going to buy her a little riding toy for the front yard. Something set her off and she started in on some gigantic crying fit. Yes. We were the family that everyone was staring at with the loud, spoiled brat in the store. We carried that stupid toy and annoying child to the register, paid and left. (Before we got to the register, a lady walked by and said encouragingly, "We've all been there!")

And this one, this one happened more times than I'd like to remember: getting my daughter into a car seat with a 5 point harness was like wrestling with a wild, screaming monkey. Arms and legs everywhere. Back arched, chest forward, sliding out of the seat. This child. 😩 I would shove one arm into her chest to push her back while I quickly wrangled an arm into a strap. (There may have been some pinching involved...but I'll admit nothing!) Once everything was buckled, I pulled that strap as tight as it needed, and slammed the truck door. This was usually in a parking lot, usually with an audience. 

I hate having to learn humility. 

It's embarrassing.

*sigh*

But as a Christian, it is such a valuable character trait to posess. 

Verse after verse shows us the importance of humility and being humble.

James 4:6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction, the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility.

Proverbs 22:4 By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.

And how do we become humble? By being shown our faults and realizing that we are not perfect. 

And sometimes that realization comes through embaressing moments! 😳

KC

giggles

After a heavy post yesterday, I thought I might do a happier post today. 

I spend a sufficient amount of time on Pinterest, I don't mind admitting. It makes me smile. Here are a few funnies that I have found over the past week or so:

(Mornings are hard. This sounds like a good excuse...)

(This is so true in my house. If I clean one room, the kids come along and destroy it 15 minutes later - augh!)

(I don't mind admitting that I am weird once or twice in a while. It makes life interesting.)

(Every night, baby, every night!)

(Seriously, though. Can we vote to make this happen?)

(My favorite raw food.)

(If you don't get this one, I apologize because I won't explain it!)

(I'd say this is typical for me on a daily basis!)

I've got more where this came from but I've got dreams to follow. Off to bed!

KC

pa

As I prepared to write this post this evening, I realized that I would be exposing some very honest emotions that I deal with on a regular basis. As I bare my heart, I hope that you all can read with a heart of understanding and compassion.

My Dad passed away 7 years ago after fighting cancer for 9 months. He was only 65. That was hard. Inexplicably difficult. But the emotions that followed were unexpected and just as difficult to sort through.

Here goes:

I envy my oldest brother. He got to spend more of his life with my dad. Thirteen years more. All my brothers had more years than I did. Their kids have memories with their grandpa. They have pictures with him. They have treasures he made for them. My daughter was 18 months when he died. My son was not born. Perhaps I shouldn't feel that envy, but my Dad was an awesome grandpa. And my kids never experienced that. I am bitter. Not towards my brothers. But just at how unfair life is.

When people are saddened by the loss of an elderly loved one, a grandparent or even a parent, I often fight feelings of frustration. 65. My dad was only 65 years old. Just old enough to retire, to do retirement stuff with my mom, to teach his grand kids neat things, to be there when we needed his advice. He never lived to a "ripe old age." It's not fair. 

My dad was neat. When I talk to friends I've made in the past 7 years, I tell them how much they would have liked him. "He was a real kick in the pants!" is what I tell them. When I talk to people who did know him, every person has fond memories. Everybody liked him. He made people smile all the time. That was his purpose in life. Seriously, people, you don't know what you've missed out on by never having met my dad. It's no wonder my mom misses him so much. 

I need my dad. I was his little girl. There is a void that no one can fill. There is no one like him. He was special. What we had was special. I miss him. 

When Father's Day comes around, I just want to focus on my husband and not think about my Pa. It hurts. It sucks. So I ignore it. I try not to confront it. Because when it comes to the surface, it aches.

So how's that for a happy Father's Day?! (Sorry!)

Let me go ahead and try to flip this for you.

The people you have in your life: value them. Love them. Appreciate them. Even if they are not perfect, find the good and appreciate that. Create memories, take pictures, do stuff together!

Most of you will read this tomorrow, on Father's Day. Go find your dad and spend time with him. Because he's here, now. 

KC

happy friday

So many good things about this week!

1. VBS - because it's great for the kids and maybe even better for the moms!

2. Full moon

3. Words spoken at just the right time, just when you needed to hear them the most.

4. Haircuts - my kids look even cuter now! I didn't think that was possible.

5. Hugs with friends

6. Frisbee. I had so much fun at my nephew's birthday party playing frisbee today!

7. Someone making me dinner - that is the best!!

8. Making brand new friends.

9. Discovering that you have the same sense of humor as someone: instant connection  - awesomeness.

10. Bringing back the word "rad" much to my niece's chagrin.

11. Pizza. Always, every time, pizza is good.

12. Music

KC

a season for talent

When I was young(er), I used to perform on the piano for church and competitions. I had parents who sacrificed to pay for my lessons. I had great teachers who saw my potential and pushed me to excel. I was told that I had a gift and a special touch on the piano, so that must have been from God.

About 10 years ago a guy I once knew asked if I still performed on the piano. We had both played piano when we were young and he was still doing so. He was shocked and seemed almost disappointed when I told him that I wasn't performing but that I did teach piano lessons. I actually felt ashamed that I wasn't doing something bigger and better with my gift. 

(Considering how long ago that was and the clarity with which I remember his expression, it obviously made an impact on my life!)

Fast forward 10 years and here I am with an overfilled piano lesson schedule as well as a waiting list. I realized that teaching piano is just as valuable as performing. But I have also been given the opportunity to accompany a small singing group on a regular basis where my abilities have grown immensely. And the performances are touching lives. 

And it struck me just today (and now I can finally get over the expression of disappointment on that guy's face) that God gives us our gifts and He will decide how and when we are to use them. We go through different seasons in our lives. God is directing our paths and the opportunities to use our gifts. 

You have a gift or a talent that's sitting on the shelf? Don't let it get too dusty because you never know when God's going to want use for something bigger and better.  

KC

a wedded example

In this day and age, it's very difficult to find a good example of what marriage should be. I was fortunate in that my parents set that example for me for 40+ years. Today, June 10th, would have been their 50th wedding anniversary.

I don't remember my parents ever raising their voice at one another. If they did argue, I don't remember it! My Dad constantly built my mom up, complimenting her and telling and showing her how beautiful she was. He was her rock, the calm in her storm, giving her peace. 

My parents were best friends. They had similar interests and took the time to appreciate their different hobbies. They had so many things they enjoyed doing together: camping, taking a drive, going to the coffee shop, visiting little towns, and viewing the countryside. They loved to play games, especially card games. They worked tirelessly on their yard with a large variety of plants and flowers. Mom liked to cook and Dad liked what she cooked! They both had a crafty side: dad would do the woodwork and Mom would paint it. They were well-matched because they worked at being so.

Dad and Mom made a decision early in their relationship to put God above anything else. God was what tied them together. They prayed about big decisions and researched the Word daily. Church was an integral part of their lives. This was the most important example they gave to their children.

My Dad passed 7 years ago, but this day is still so very special to my Mom as she remembers their relationship. She misses his hugs and his smile. She misses his company, his habits, his routines. She misses his corny jokes and ability to make pretty much anyone smile. She not only lost a husband, but a best friend who knew everything about her.

I love you, Mom.

I miss you, Dad.

Thank you for teaching me what marriage should be, 

KC