acting

You know what it takes to be a parent? Good acting skills!

*Now in this scene, the mom will lean in close to her child and calmly pull the fork out of his hand  explaining that "we don't stick forks up our nose" all while barely containing the scream of frustration that desperately seeks to escape her lips.

*In this next scene, the mother will head into the bathroom to wipe yet another messy bottom, maintaining a smile of confidence all while resisting the urge to gag at the smell and hoping that her hands stay clean as she does the job.

*In this last scene, the mother will calmly pull her flailing, screaming, bratty child out of the grocery cart, leaving the cart full of groceries, and carry him out to the car while everybody stares, even though a good part of her wants to leave the kid in the cart and go home without him!

You know where I really struggle in my acting career? At home, when I am frustrated, irritated, and exasperated with my two children who are acting like crazy monkeys while I am trying to get dinner cooked and on the table. I cannot maintain calmness! My voice gets very stern and loud. Not yelling....well, maybe it does fall into the yelling category. 

But I guess the first step to becoming a better "actor" is understanding what your weakness is and then trying to get better.

So, next time I will *Gently grab the monkeys by the arm and walk them to their rooms where they will stay until dinner, all the while resisting my desire to tie them up and duct tape their mouths!

KC

it's going to be ok

Saw this on Pinterest today:

Now, if we would just believe that! 

Life throws some pretty tough blows at us. That's what it is like living in a sinful, imperfect world. I don't know how many of my 10 readers are Christians but for those of us who are, I know we still get stuck in the middle of life's drama, all worked up, forgetting that we have made it through every single situation so far with God's help. 

Our hindsight is perfect. We can look back at life and practically see the times when God has picked us up and carried us through. Yet when we are in trouble's midst, we completely forget His faithfulness to do it again! 

One of my biggest struggles these days is looking at where this world (dare I say, country?) is going and worrying about my children not only growing up in its corruptness, but also worrying about the potential persecution they might face simply for being a Christian. I want to grab my kids and gird them with the knowledge of the Lord so that they will be ready for it all. But even that doesn't take away my worry. There is only one thing: God's promises and His faithfulness. (I suppose you could argue that to be two things, but I think they go hand in hand). 

Last summer I had the opportunity to hear Gloria Gaither speak at a conference. I know she's a big name in Southern Gospel, but I haven't been a big follower of Southern Gospel for very long. Little did I know how much her words would impact my fears. The Gaithers wrote a now well-known song entitled Because He Lives. In the second verse, are these words:

Verse 2 - How sweet to hold a newborn baby, 
And feel the pride and joy he gives 
But greater still the calm assurance 
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

Chorus - Because He lives, I can face tomorrow 
Because He lives, all fear is gone. 
Because I know, I know, He holds the future 
And life is worth the living just because He lives.

 

He is holding the future; not me! What an assurance as I look ahead. Both of my little ones have already accepted the Lord as their Savior - they are not going to go into this world alone! As Gloria explained this second verse, the tears rolled down my face. Worrying for your children is a heavy burden to bear all by yourself (or even with a spouse). But handing their future over the the Lord lifts so much of the weight off your shoulders.

I still worry. It's human nature (or mommy nature). But my worry is kept in check and not nearly as frantic. He holds the future. Not me. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. 

KC

Here is a link to the live version of the Gaithers singing Because He Lives: http://youtu.be/spa7WkwjwGw

communication and "discussions"

So I had it revealed to me once again, for about the 75th time in the past year,  that most of the problems in my marriage to my handsome husband have come from miscommunication or non communication. This evening, through a discussion (that's what we call it) he revealed to me something I had been misunderstanding for months. It had kinda bummed me out when we first talked about it. Tonight, once I "got it" it totally made my night. 

I am not a great communicator, although after talking now for about 25 years (I don't think I said more than 3 words in the first very shy 10 years of my life), I have been getting better at it. However, I still try to avoid certain topics because I don't know how to bring them up for discussion. Or I might say something in our discussion that will be understood the wrong way because I don't always have the right words. Usually I have to backtrack and re-explain it 3 times with the hopes that I am making sense! 

But, at least I am trying. 

Communication is difficult, but so important! 

There are many things I have learned about communicating with my husband that have helped this area in our relationship. Here are just a couple (or a few):

1. Do not bring up a subject that has the potential to be frustrating when he is hungry. No good can come from that combination.

2. Name-calling doesn't usually help to smooth things out in the middle of a discussion.

3. Having an important conversation shouldn't happen immediately after he gets home from work: "Hi Honey, welcome home from a job where you had to put your brain to work all day long, tirelessly, as you interacted with people who you had to be nice to, even when you didn't feel like it. Can we now talk about the 12 important things we have going on this week?" 

4. Starting an important conversation shouldn't happen 5 minutes before one of you has to leave. Timing is important.

5. Bringing up something from the past every time you "discuss" gets old. 

6. Comparing your spouse to one of his parents doesn't usually fly very well.

7. Letting my anger get in the way of what I'm actually trying to communicate always ends up hurting me.

I've still got a lot to learn, but I keep trying. Because this relationship is important to me and communication helps us solve problems and avoid future issues. 

KC

why?

Life is rough; you know that? It hits us hard from all different sides:

Difficulties in family relationships

Sickness

Financial devastation

Betrayal in friendship

Death of the one you loved dearly and deeply

And that question always seems to creep up: Why? Why me? 

I'd like to tell you the answer to that question. I really would. I could tell you a bunch of things that might make you feel better about your situation. But I cannot answer "why."

But, there is an answer. Even if you don't know it or understand it, there is an answer. 

God doesn't always choose to reveal the answer to us right away. It might be revealed to us years down the road! Or, it might not ever be revealed to us on this side of heaven. 

But for me, knowing that there is an answer, a purpose for the difficulties I've endured, gives me an undercurrent of peace through any situation.

KC

happy friday

Happy Friday!

Here are a dozen things that made me happy this week.

1. Flip flops. Wait, scratch that. White flips flops! There's something about a crisp, clean pair of white flip flops.

2. Rain boots! Yep. Gorgeous weather and hail/rainy weather all in the same week.

3. Wreaths - I've been waist-deep in burlap and muslin making wreaths for an upcoming sale. Creating wreaths is my happy place.

4.Smiles.

5. Sleeping children - my favorite! (I will repeat myself on this frequently because those peaceful faces bring rest to my soul.)

6. Coffeetime with my Mom. She's the best. 

7. The laughter of my kids. (Well, maybe your kids too, but definitely mine!)

8. Corner Stop Eatery - a little restaurant in town where the owner makes a point to be personal with his customers. That goes a long way with me!

9. Photos, because photos = memories

10. A comfy couch.

11. Tri-tip. If you've had it, you know. 

12. A husband who agrees that being silly with the kids is a good thing (including doing the things that make them roll their eyes!)

What made you happy this week?

KC

time

Tomorrow my son has the day off from school. He's giving up his K classroom and teacher so that the Pre-K kids can give it a try. We're both kinda excited about it. Not because we have anything fun and exciting planned, but because we like to hang out together.

It used to be that I was excited for the kids to go to school. More "me" time! But as the months went by, I started to really look forward to their vacation times. I wanted to be with them, even if there were some times that drove me crazy! And although I pretended that I couldn't wait till school started back up again, secretly a bit of me was sad. 

This is not to say that all of our time together is rainbows and butterflies (I heard that somewhere - I assume that it means everything is honky-dory, which means happy and carefree...I think... but don't quote me). There are plenty of times when we need a break from one another and we go to our separate corners for a while. 

But, over the past couple of years, it has really hit me hard how quickly my children are growing up and maturing. And realistically, they won't spend that much of their lives in my home. (If they lived to be 90 and move out of my home at 20, that is 70 years living somewhere other than here!) So my time with them has become a valuable commodity. This time with them is short and I need to respect the value it has and use it wisely. This is the most important learning time in their lives when they might still listen to me! I want to breathe God into them at every opportunity. 

So tomorrow, my boy and I might not do anything very exciting, but we will spend time together and have good conversations, play Go Fish, and do stuff that makes our relationship stronger. 

KC

naps

Ten days later?! How did that happen? I have to admit, when I miss a day of writing on this here blog, I start to miss it. So ten missed days is just a tragedy! 

But I can't stop life from getting in the way: I got a cold. I know, what a terrible thing! But seriously, it knocked me down. I took naps. I never take naps, people. But I was taking naps! It was bad. (But I liked the naps - I really did, but I didn't have the time for them).

And then after a few days I started to feel somewhat normal. So I had to spend the next few days catching up on all the stuff I missed while I was napping! 

And you know what? Through it all, life went on. Kids went to school, to their programs, and homework got completed. Kids were fed and clothed and my husband maintained a pretty normal schedule around here. Things got a little messier around the house and we watched a little more TV than usual. But we all survived. 

I don't like being sick (who does?!) and I don't have time for it. But perhaps God uses it to tell me to slow down and take a break, because you know what? Everything is going to be just fine on the other side. Good reminder for this busy mom who likes to keep a jam-packed schedule! 

So next time maybe I'll take a sick day on a day when I'm healthy so I can really enjoy the nap!!

KC