today is Christmas!

My kids are asleep next to the fake, overly decorated Christmas tree in our loft. With all of the excitement that they were exuding before they fell asleep, I was sure that it'd be hours before they would be out. TOMORROW IS THE MOST EXCITING DAY OF THE YEAR, AFTERALL!!

As I watch my kids get antsy to open gifts on Christmas Eve at Grandma's house and the expressions on their face as they open each specially thought-out gift, I can feel their excitement radiate through them and bring back memories of my own excitement as a kid.

Over the years, the excitement has gotten lost among the responsibilities and work and exhaustion that comes with being an adult. (I don't blame my kids for saying they never want to grow up - Peter Pan might have had the right idea!) It's tough to look past all the effort that is put into Christmas Day and to see all the work that'll come after the big day is over. 

So I decided that I'm going to join my kids by the tree to sleep tonight (but the Christmas music they fell asleep to has to go - I cannot fall asleep to Sleigh Ride!) and I'm going to wake up with them in the morning and fuel my excitement from their own. I miss feeling like a kid with no worries or cares about next week, tomorrow, or even what's going on later on that day!

I know my husband got me a few awesome gifts this year - he's good at that. And my kids even wrapped a couple things for me! But I'm thinking the best gift is going to be spending the day how Jesus would want me to spend his birthday - relaxing and enjoying the day for what it is. Not stressing about the laundry that needs to be completed or the clean up that needs to happen next week or the homeschooling and piano lessons that start shortly after that (starting to hyperventilate already, people!) 

Tomorrow is Sunday, the day God gifted us for guilt-free resting. That's the best gift ever. 

I hope you each wake up with a stirring in your soul, an unexplainable excitement, just like my kids. Because it's Christmas, people. IT'S CHRISTMAS!!

Go have a merry and bright day, my friends!! ❤️💚

KC 

I am not that mom

There's nothing like a holiday to make you feel like a failure as mom these days. 

Let's just look at Christmas:

I don't have an elf that sits on a shelf or whatever creative place I can think of.

I don't remember to get gifts for all the special teachers in my kids' lives.

Only half the decorations got put up this year.

Our gingerbread houses came from a kit from CVS.

We told our kids from the beginning of their ability to understand that Santa wasn't real. 

I've spent nearly 0 hours in Pinterest researching cool and creative holiday traditions and activities.

My Christmas cards are still in the box (I keep handing them out to people I see knowing that means one less card to mail).

There are approximately 25 ornaments sitting under the tree because they fell off and I haven't put them back up yet.

I let my kids go caroling with our wonderful neighbors instead of going along because I was busy (but mostly because I dislike being cold). 

We don't have matching Christmas outfits for church on Sunday (although we do all have Christmas socks - can I have a point for that?!)

And again - I have yet to consult Pinterest for games and party ideas...or anything Christmas, for that matter! 

All you moms who can do all that, you astound and amaze me!

My poor kids will never have a mom like that.

And that's okay.

There is a part of me that wants to uphold this image to my children, especially my daughter, that I'm incredible and someone whom they should hold in awestruck wonderment. I want them to believe that I can do all things with one hand tied behind my back, all while watching them with the special set of eyes that God put in the back of my head.

But then there is the part of me that wants my kids to understand that I am not perfect, no one is perfect. And I don't expect them to be perfect either.

Because maybe, just maybe, if I humble myself enough, those kids of mine will talk to me about their failures and imperfections and short comings, because I can relate. "If Mom has struggles and cannot do it all, then maybe I don't have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders either."

I'm okay with not being perfect in my children's eyes because hopefully through my shortcomings they're learning a valuable lesson in humility and grace.

And maybe, just maybe, they won't feel the need to freak their kids out with an elf on the shelf either. 😉

KC

Christmas, for reals

Okay, I'm gonna get real with you all. This isn't a new thing for me; I'm usually very real when I write, mostly because I want all of you who struggle with your imperfections to know that you're not alone in that struggle.

But today's "real" is a lot harder for me to write. Maybe because I'm afraid you all with think I'm a party-pooper or that you'll misunderstand my emotions. But none of that has stopped me before, so here goes:

Christmastime is hard for me. It feels like work and that feeling sometimes robs my enjoyment of it all. I've been watching Christmas With the Kranks and I think they might be on to something there....

Now before I get too far, let me just say that there are a ton of things that give me joy during this time (which makes all the effort and "work" worth it.) I get to see nieces and nephews who come home from college. I get to create and participate in traditions that my kids will remember for the rest of their lives. I get the opportunity to bless others and am constantly blessed by other people's thoughtfulness. I get to spend time with my siblings and their families...gosh, I love my family! Christmas music, kids' anticipation, food, food, food! And the numerous quiet moments of reflecting on an amazing Christmas gift - Jesus.  All. Good. Things!

Now some of you have been blessed with the gift of super organization and others with the gift of maximum cleanliness through the holidays. I'm sure there are bunches of you that maintain a Christmas budget like a champ! And then there's me: Super Optimistic Girl who constantly fights the battle of Reality! 

Reality for me is that I'm a busy mom, trying to maintain my sanity on a regular basis as it is. Throw in the responsibility of redecorating the house for the season (I'd love to say my kids are great helpers, but when they get done it kinda just looks like Christmas threw up downstairs), purchasing just the right gifts that are thoughtful, on a budget, getting the Christmas cards created and mailed out BEFORE Christmas (just picked them up today so we'll see how many addresses are actually still in my phone), decorating the gingerbread houses (people, I had to use a blow dryer to make the frosting dry quicker so the blasted house didn't slide apart!), wrapping all the gifts, baking and cooking all the delicious food, and the list goes on and on....

Now, I look at that list and think it's probably all manageable, but add to it all the emotions that come with this holiday: trying to teach my children to focus on the giving side more than the receiving side (hahahaha, impossible!) and reminding them of the true reason why we celebrate Christmas, missing my Dad and now my Father-in-law (that hole never fills up), and searching for my own joy among the busyness.

So yeah, Christmas is hard.

I wouldn't want Christmas to disappear. Good things are worth the time, effort, and the exhaustion. 

But I'll tell you what I like better than Christmas: the Christmas afterglow.

So for those of you who love this time of year: keep loving it and spreading that happiness around. Smile a lot! Sing loud for all to hear! Do all the Christmas things! We need your spirit!

And for those of you who feel overwhelmed by it all: you're not alone.

But here is your hope: the afterglow. That time when you get to sit back on the couch in your slippers and enjoy your coffee while the kids (husband) play with their new toys in front of the lights twinkling on the tree while Michael Bubke croons his Christmas tunes in the background.

But seriously, people, I think I'm gonna start purchasing Christmas gifts in January! Get that Christmas shopping done before Valentine's Day!

Here's hoping you find those precious Christmas moments to enjoy among the craziness,

KC

utterly worth it

Tonight I'm sleeping on the couch.

Not because I'm mad at my husband.

But because I told the kids we could sleep in the family room by the Christmas tree.

I try to do this every year, and with one of my nieces here tonight, we're forcing our tradition on her too!

I don't sleep well on the couch. I usually end up tired and with an ache in my neck. One of the cats usually ends up half on my leg and I feel like I can't move around because I don't want to disturb her (I know that sounds ridiculous...its just the way I roll in the middle of the night.) 

I know the kids are fine to sleep down here by themselves. They've done it before. I could sleep in my bed in peace and not deal with children or pets. In a pitch black room. In peace and quiet...did I mention peace? 

But you know what? When my kids are in their 20's, they'll remember how I used to have a slumber party with them each Christmas, sleeping by the light of the Christmas tree. Someday they will appreciate the memories we made together, even if I have to whisper-yell at them to be quiet and to get. to. sleep!! 

(Ohmygoodness, the current giggling situation might send me over the edge!)

So if you see me tomorrow and I'm walking with my neck all cock-eyed and huge bags under my eyes, you can feel free to remind me that it is all worth it, and that I will never regret the memories I make with my kids!

Please. 

Remind me.

KC

JOY

"Joy to the world!"

Not "Happiness to the world!"

Because first of all, that just sounds dumb in the song. It doesn't flow!

And second of all, Jesus did not arrive here on earth to bring happiness.

(Although I'm sure there were times when happiness was a side affect of him being here. If I was cured of a gross disease or had my daughter raised from the dead, I'm sure happiness would be in there somewhere!)

Digging deeper...

Christ came to bring joy. 

That "down in your soul" joy. 

The "never goes away" joy.

The "surpasses all of life's garbage" joy.

Happiness comes from stuff and things and feelings and circumstances. And all those things have the potential to change.

Joy comes from the knowledge of a Savior who took my garbage away so that I have the most incredible gift: eternal life (which, I'm just sayin' sounds like it has the potential to be pretty stinking amazing. Imagine hanging with the God who can do anything. His imagination and creativity are limitless. LIMITLESS. Like a genie but a gazillion times better. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a more incredible gift.)

That knowledge creates joy.

Joy isn't just a feeling.

It's an understanding.

It's security. I am taken care of NO MATTER WHAT.

It is bigger than all the things that happiness bring.

JOY is the underlying calm in my soul.

So yeah: JOY to the world -  the LORD has come!

There has never been better news than that.

Amen?!

Amen.

KC

call them out

Tonight I had a discussion with one of my kiddos. 

Well, it wasn't really a discussion, it was more of a "talking to" punctuated with her "But I..." and "But, Mom..." and "whiiiiining" and "moooooannnning."

The child cannot help but interrupt me. 

Augh! and *sigh*

So a typical "discussion" in this house with one of our kids starts out with a bit of lecturing. Because you know what? I am in charge. I am the boss! AND YOU WILL HEAR ME!! 

But it promptly turns to questioning. I ask the kids questions about what they did and how it made others feel and if they handled it correctly or kindly or of there was a better way and WWJD (yes, it is still a legit question .) This makes them do the thinking. This gets them involved instead of them tuning me out during a lecture. Why should I do all the work, just to be ignored? Nah, kid - you are going to do the thinking and feeling and understanding. Lecture yo-self!

And somewhere in there, I always do this. (This was a lightbulb that went on in my head a few years back when my eldest and I were going round and round and round and frustratingly round in a "discussion.") I call them out. I straight up call a sin a sin. I tell them that they were wrong. 

You disobeyed your parents - that's wrong.

You used violence when you hurt your sibling - that's wrong.

You talked back to me, disrespectful - that's wrong.

You lied to me - that's wrong.

You didn't do what I asked you to do 10 times - that's wrong.

You were sneaky - that's wrong.

When you paint the picture clearly for them, there's little room for "discussion." Typically, when I pull the "you're wrong" card, my children get quiet, and an apology follows shortly. Sometimes stubbornness gets in the way. But more often than not, putting that sharp realization of "wrong" in front of them gives them little room to refute. 

I know that it seems harsh, but isn't sin a harsh thing? Shouldn't it remain that way? Shouldn't wrong-doings still have some shock value to them? 

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned or conservative or whatever label you want to put on me, but when it comes to my children whom I love indescribably, I'm going to point out the wrongs, no pulling punches, so that they see and feel a definite difference in their consciences about what is right and what is wrong.

Now, if I could only get them to stop pointing out when I'm wrong...

KC

give yourself a freaking break!

Last night a dear friend reminded me of something that we moms need to hear more often. 

(This is why I value my friendships with my gals: they often remind me that I'm not alone in my mom/wife/woman struggles. Praise Jesus (and Hallelujah!) that he gave us those incredible relationships!)

Ok, back to what we moms need to hear:

We are too stinkin' hard on ourselves!

For reals, gals, we can't give ourselves a break!

It doesn't matter if we are stay-at-home moms, part-time or work-at-home moms, employed full-time moms, or the crazy mom who homeschools her children because she can't get enough of the annoying things her children do. 😳 We are always going to think that we are not doing enough or that we are doing it all wrong.

I don't know about you (although I could probably guess), but I second guess myself on a pretty regular basis. As a matter of fact, I live in a heightened awareness of "screwing up my children" pretty much all day long. I'm kinda used to it, but not in the way where I'm totally okay with it and myself and with what I'm doing. More like in the way of questioning myself all day long - it's a lifestyle. 

Here's the deal, moms. We really need to quit comparing ourselves to the other "perfect" moms out there. (Look! I used quotations marks around "perfect." Wanna know why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!) We are each called according to the purpose that God has is set aside for. Each of us has been called to momhood differently. There is no cookie cutter mom that we should all strive to be like. 

I'm thinking we all need to step back and rest comfortably in the knowledge that God has got this. He's directing each one of us according to His purpose: in our jobs, in our relationships, and in our mommying. When we are listening to His call, there's peace, not guilt. 

So relax, momma, and remember: you're not doing this all by yourself. ❤️

KC