toilet seat replacement

The other day I did something that made me feel great. I replaced the toilet seat in the kids' bathroom! It was "ew" because it was the kids' bathroom, but they had, not surprisingly, broken it and it needed fixing.  My husband saw me flexing and grinning when I was done and had to smile. I'll admit I that I was pretty proud of that silly little feat. 

I know, I know, it was just a toilet seat - a couple of plastic screws and then you twist the new one on, but I did feel pretty great about it. I like to work with my hands and be able to step back and see what I have accomplished. (Plus the new seat was super clean so I knew I wouldn't have to clean it for a while! Bonus!) It made me feel capable!

Not independent.

Capable.

A few years back one of my brothers corrected me regarding the word "independent." It was just a simple switch of words, but it stuck in my mind quite solidly and brought about a perspective that remains today in how I view my marriage.

There are many things that I could do that would make me an independent woman. I can stand on my own two feet and take care of myself and my kids just fine. (I'm not saying that it'd be easy. I'm just saying I'd be equipped for it.)

However, living with that attitude would create a separation between my husband and me. It would make it easy to view our life as two separate people who could be doing this life on our own, if our marriage started to struggle. Who needs an extra chasm in marriage?! I don't! Marriage is hard work and by placing my mindset in "independent mode" I am simply adding a wall or digging a gap between the two of us. 

So I choose to view these accomplishments as making me a more capable woman. A skilled woman. A strong woman. A wife who is creating more value for herself in her marriage. (I know, it was just a toilet seat. Sheesh! But I know you can see the bigger picture here!)

"Capable" still gives me the credit I deserve for replacing that toilet seat, without creating the "I don't need you" attitude that the world is easily handing out to women these days. 

Call me "old-fashioned" or what you will, but I'm striving hard to build my marriage, and I believe that promoting marriage as a team, rather than 2 independents working together, creates strength. 

So ladies: Go ye into all the world and replace toilet seats and become more capable women! 

Ok... so maybe that's not a requirement for being capable, but take pride in your accomplishments, big and small, for you are amazing! 

With love from,

The ever-incredible toilet seat replacer:

KC