sucky parenting

Ok, people, I seriously suck. 

I am the worst mom ever.

Once again I had to apologize to my daughter for saying something hurtful to her.

I didn't yell at her (yay, me!)

I just wasn't very thoughtful in my comment to her and watched her expression sink as we walked up to church. YES!! AS WE WALKED UP TO CHURCH!! For reals: I hurt my kid's feelings on the way to church. Not even at home before church or in the car on the way to church. No. Literally 10 yards from the front door of church, I stomped on my kid's feelings. I told you: worst mom ever!

I stood through worship just contemplating how to resolve this. I had a long time to contemplate because our worship lasts a while and we stand the whole time. I need to stop wearing high heels to church...

As soon as we sat down and our pastor came to the front of the stage, I grabbed a pencil and wrote an apology to my daughter. Who, in turn, grabbed the pencil from me and wrote an apology back to me!! 

WHAT?!?! 

Ok. In reality, it's not that amazing that my kiddo apologized to me. Let me explain why this seemingly rare phenomenon happens pretty regularly in our house.

Turns out that I suck at parenting, which I have already illustrated at the beginning of this post. I am constantly saying and doing stuff that is well below the standard of parenting that I set for myself before I had kids. Which was ridiculous when I set it, but still: I'm not perfect. I do dumb things. I make mistakes. I swallow my pride. And then I apologize.

I apologize. A lot. I am setting a good and frequent example of what apologizing should look like. Because I have to do it often. 

You know what they say about teaching your children: they learn from your actions much more than from you telling them what to do. "Actions speak louder than words." Model the behavior that you want your children to follow. Well I am modeling the whole apologizing thing like a CHAMP!! 

So the bonus of being an imperfect and sucky parent is that my children are getting a front row seat in how to apologize. 

I guess I'll take it. 

KC

no more rain, please

My Momma reminded me last night: When it rains, it pours!

Well I, for one, am freaking tired of the rain, both literal and figurative!! 

Usually, when it's pouring rain here at our house, it's because the devil is trying to "rain on our parade." (See what I did there?!) It's as though he sees the good that is trying to be accomplished and he is setting up blockades left and right. Let me tell you, it's exHAUSTing!

For the past couple of months, I've been trying to figure out what God is trying to tell me. Now I'm not so convinced that it's God but rather the devil trying to get in the way of some major stuff that God's got coming down the way.

There have been days over the past couple of months when I have wanted to just give up on some passions that God has put on my heart. It'd be easier that way. But I keep plugging away, even in small pieces, knowing that there's a purpose for it all.

And now that I realize that the devil is standing in the way, I'm just going to work harder.

Did you hear that, Satan? I'M JUST GONNA WORK HARDER!! SO THERE!!

I looked at my weather app for this week and I see no rain in the forecast. As a matter of fact, tomorrow it should be sunny all. day. long. And, I don't know about you, but I am in desperate need of some sunshine! ☀️

But, just in case it rains, I've got an adorable pair of polka dotted rain boots and a pink umbrella from my friend and a great, big God to back me up so I am prepared. 

Did you hear that too, Satan?! I AM PREPARED!!

Going to bed now. 

Tomorrow's gonna be a bright, sunshiny day. 💛

KC

groovin' old guy

We went to church this morning and we sat near the back. Our kids like to sit with us in church instead of going to the children's program which means we sit near the back just in case they get too wiggly or drop a container full of Legos during the service and distract everyone around us. #truestory #completelyembarassedmom #Legosdonotcometochurchanymore 

This morning we sat behind an elderly couple, probably in their late 80's. (We stand for much of the first part of the service because we start out by worshiping together. The music we sing is "loud worship" or at least that's what I call it. There's probably a minimum of 8 people on stage at one time leading or ship. They provide ear plugs as you walk in! So yes, loud.) As we were singing, I kept getting distracted by the elderly gentleman because he was groovin'! He was beebopping back and forth and completely enjoying his time of worship. At one point my husband caught my eye and with a big grin he nodded to the gentleman who was just so stinkin adorable in his worship!!

And it got me thinking: church should be a joy! (I know; seems like common sense but let me tell you, people, this has been a STRUG-GLE for me.)

I don't know about you, but when I think of God designing a worship service at His church, I think the entire event would be a joyous one!! Hearts would be overflowing with gratitude and people would be happy to be there, right?

One of the things I find so impressive about our church is how our pastor can reach so many people at different levels of faith simply by speaking truth. He is not judgmental, but he also doesn't shy away from Biblical truths. He talks about hard issues but it's  not saturated with condemnation. It is a joy to be in church, listening to our pastor challenge us and hearing truth that we need to hear! I don't walk out of there feeling like a horrible person, but I am more aware each time I leave church of things I need to work on or change. 

It's easy to criticize a church that is "entertaining" or whose worship set has lights and a smoke machine. I used to call our church a "seeker friendly" church whose goal was to reach those who don't go to church regularly. They played up to those outside the church, trying to attract them. I didn't think that was necessarily a bad thing, but it just wasn't necessary for us "Hardcore Christians!" 😜

But the longer I'm there, the more I realize that it is just as much for me as it is for someone who has never been to church. My family, all 4 of us, walk into church with expectant hearts, happy to be there, ready to participate, to listen and learn, to enjoy our time with God! It has taken a long time for us to get there.

Anybody else wanna come with me to church? We'll save you seats!

We'll be the family sitting behind the grooving old guy!

KC