sucky parenting

Ok, people, I seriously suck. 

I am the worst mom ever.

Once again I had to apologize to my daughter for saying something hurtful to her.

I didn't yell at her (yay, me!)

I just wasn't very thoughtful in my comment to her and watched her expression sink as we walked up to church. YES!! AS WE WALKED UP TO CHURCH!! For reals: I hurt my kid's feelings on the way to church. Not even at home before church or in the car on the way to church. No. Literally 10 yards from the front door of church, I stomped on my kid's feelings. I told you: worst mom ever!

I stood through worship just contemplating how to resolve this. I had a long time to contemplate because our worship lasts a while and we stand the whole time. I need to stop wearing high heels to church...

As soon as we sat down and our pastor came to the front of the stage, I grabbed a pencil and wrote an apology to my daughter. Who, in turn, grabbed the pencil from me and wrote an apology back to me!! 

WHAT?!?! 

Ok. In reality, it's not that amazing that my kiddo apologized to me. Let me explain why this seemingly rare phenomenon happens pretty regularly in our house.

Turns out that I suck at parenting, which I have already illustrated at the beginning of this post. I am constantly saying and doing stuff that is well below the standard of parenting that I set for myself before I had kids. Which was ridiculous when I set it, but still: I'm not perfect. I do dumb things. I make mistakes. I swallow my pride. And then I apologize.

I apologize. A lot. I am setting a good and frequent example of what apologizing should look like. Because I have to do it often. 

You know what they say about teaching your children: they learn from your actions much more than from you telling them what to do. "Actions speak louder than words." Model the behavior that you want your children to follow. Well I am modeling the whole apologizing thing like a CHAMP!! 

So the bonus of being an imperfect and sucky parent is that my children are getting a front row seat in how to apologize. 

I guess I'll take it. 

KC