being non-normal

Aaaaahhhhh!!!

School starts tomorrow!

(Or today, depending on when you are reading this.)

(Or next week, if you're me.)

(Or sometime in September, if you're Canadian.)

Whatever the case, the first day of school can be great! Or terrifying, depending on who you are. Back to a constant social life, dealing with all types of kiddos in the classroom or on the playground. Seeing your good friends and spending time with them and reconnecting with those friends you haven't seen all summer.

(Now I'm a homeschooling mom, so you might wonder what exactly I do with this situation since it is a bit different for me. But that's for a different day. Keep reading and you'll see where I'm going.)

My elementary school days were difficult. I was shy and making friends didn't come easy to me because I didn't know what to say. But in 5th grade, a girl sought me out and asked me to be her friend. It took me a while to become friends with her, probably because I was so apprehensive about how friendship worked. But she saved my life. She helped to shape me into the woman I am today. She built me up and stood by me through thick and thin. She saw my value.

I tell you that story for this reason: kids who are different need friends too. The shy kids, the weird kids, those with some sort of disability, the hyper kids, the kid who looks different than everyone else, any kid who doesn't fit what the world tends to determine as the "norm."

Encourage your kids to include and interact with the "different" kids. And teach them how to do that. Give them examples of what they can say or do. Communicate the value of each and every child in their class. (Even the rough and tough ones need kindness, even if you wouldn't encourage a friendship.) It could make the biggest difference not only in that child's life, but in your child's life as well. 

The world is full of people who don't fit the norm. And if we're being totally honest, I'm pretty sure your kiddo has a few "unique" characteristics as well. I know mine do...and I did, and most of my friends do too. But I wouldn't change them into "normal" for anything. 

I'm pretty sure that's WWJD. 

(Ok, so maybe I shouldn't bring that back? I don't know. It fits almost so well...maybe?)

KC

high school advice from a previous teen (many years ago...)

High school was rough for me. I had some very close friends and supportive parents that helped me through some of my struggles as a high schooler. I'm not sure how things would have turned out if it wasn't for them.  

High school is when stress really truly begins. Those hormones, emotions, and a bunch of new temptations are with you all day long. You're striving to be noticed or praised or recognized for something. Academics, music, sports, drama... People are pushing you to do more, to do better, to achieve more while you are still figuring out what it means to grow up. You're starting to search for the definition of who you are. Plus your future is staring you right in the face and that is scary!! 

High school is when my anxiety disorder kicked in, full-fledged panic attacks and all. I know I've talked about it before and will probably mention it again, but that's because I'm hoping that my experience might help someone else with the same issue.

I worry about today's high schoolers and the pressure they face. The way each one handles it all could shape his or her future. Panic attacks (which I didn't even know was a thing till I was diagnosed!), eating disrorders, physical harm to themselves, drinking or drugs, and I'm sure there are a multitude of other negative ways that our teens are handling life these days, and that's why I worry.

I don't have the solution to help avoid each of those things listed up there, but I can tell you what helped me: communication. I had parents who didn't understand what I was going through, but they listened to me and talked to me as I went through it all. They allowed me the space to handle each panic attack as I needed to without making me feel bad about it. They didn't put any pressure on me to continue living with a crazy schedule and I ended up quitting 2 sports my senior year. 

And they prayed for me. I could not have made it through the remainder of my high school years and through my college years without that prayer. 

I don't have any teens of my own yet, (unless you count nieces and nephews!) but I do have friends whose kiddos are stepping in to that crazy time of life. I don't know your kids like you do, but please just be aware. 

Communicate and pray: it could make the hugest difference in your teens life. 

It did in mine.

KC

fun parenting?

Parenting is hard work. Sometimes it is a pain in the neck. It's frustrating. Aggravating. Irritating, even!

There are moments when I think, on a very surface level, that becoming a parent was not such a good idea. 😜

But I decided a few years back that parenting should be fun also. Not just "go to the movies and eat popcorn" fun, or " go to Disneyland" fun.  More like intentional, everyday choices to have fun, to enjoy our time together.

My kids and I lip sync in the truck when we drive around town. 

We hold short dance parties in the Family Room on a regular basis.

We have Family Game Night a couple times a month. (Our current favorite is Spot It!)

We have a small trampoline in the middle of the Family Room because: fun.

We tell funny, goofy jokes and tease each other a LOT.

We have ticklefests often because those giggles are the best.

We came up with a bunch of Slug Bug phrases: 

MiniCoop, Whoop Whoop! 

Jeep Jeep beep beep!

Cruiser Bruiser!

I'll admit that we take a lot of selfies together, but a majority of them are as goofy as we can be.

We build forts. We make messes. We get artsy and crafty and science-y. 

I don't think God intended for parenting to be a drag. 

Hard work? Yes, because the hard work of parenting grows us. 

But a bummer? No.

Sure, lthere is a lot to take serious in this world and it's easy to get caught up in competition, in planning out our kids' futures when they're 4 years old. We want to make sure they have the best, learn the best, are the best, and that's when the fun goes away. 

This "at-home" training lasts for a decent while: minimum of about 18 years. I don't know about you, but I think that is a pretty good portion of my life and I would sure hate to waste it being too serious. So we find the fun because I want to enjoy as much of this parenting thing as possible.

And it turns out that I think my kids are pretty great. I kinda like hanging out with them...usually. (Now that my son has figured out how to make fake tooting noises, hanging out with him in public isn't always my favorite. 😜)

KC

He loves me

I came across this quote today on Pinterest and it struck a nerve.  I know this in my head. I know I will never ever achieve perfection. But it is still difficult to accept all the shortcomings and failures that I manage to create every single day! 

And my biggest struggle is probably this: how can a perfect God love such an incredibly imperfect me?

But He does. Just like I unconditionally love my children who drive me crazy on a regular basis, He loves me. I would do anything for my kids, even though they are stinkers. And so would He.

And He did. 

He gave up His son. And allowed me that place of honor. 

I am so unworthy. 

And that's what makes my God amazing.

He loves me as no one else can.

KC

the biggest reason

Tomorrow is our first day of homeschool. I'm excited and the kids are excited. And that's kinda a big deal considering the challenges that homeschooling brings to each of us. But deep down, my kids understand (because of our intentional conversation - don't forget: more to come on that topic later this week!) the reasons why we chose to homeschool them and trust that we are making the best decision for them.

I get asked on a pretty regular basis why we chose to homeschool our kids. Although it is not so much of an oddity these days, homeschooling still faces a lot of criticism and there is definitely a stigma to fight. It's difficult not to get on the defensive with my answer. 

Truth be told, there about 100 reasons why we have chosen this route at this point in our children's' education. Ok, not quite 100, but pretty close! I could tell you all the benefits and opportunities we have and will be afforded. I could have a conversation with you for a couple hours because I feel that passionate about it. 

However, I'm not really trying to convince you that this is the best possible option for education these days. Or that I am an amazing person for taking on this challenge, because, believe you me, I'm not. If anything it shows my weaknesses and failures even more close up than I really desire. *sigh*

But what I am going to tell you is that we feel called by God to do this. We take it year by year and examine the direction that we feel God is pointing us in, making sure we are in alignment with Him each year.

As I said, this can lead to a bit of criticism as people express their own opinions about our choice. But what it really comes down to for my husband and me is turning down all the noise around us and listening for God's voice.

And this is how it should be for each of us. In any major decision in our lives.

Turn down the noise (in other words: everyone else giving you their opinion) and listen for God's voice, through His Word, or the peace that comes when you go in the direction that He is pointing. 

Tomorrow I walk in confidence because just as my kids trust our decision, I trust God's direction.

KC

restored

I did it.

I got the homeschool room in order!

It'll be awesome...till we start school again. 😩

I discovered something interesting about creating a clean room. An organized and straightened up room attracts people. As soon as I was putting the finishing touches of organization in the homeschool room, my two kiddos and their friend were in there checking everything out, making themselves comfortable, playing with a few items left on top of a bookshelf. A little later, I got to work filling out my super large calendar while l was sprawled out on the clean floor. My husband joined me and we chatted in the little room about this and that. And I am still sprawled out on the floor as I wrote this.

A clean space brings sanity back to my life. 

There are many areas of my world that seem to run chaotically. (I'm not sure that sentence is grammatically correct but I am sure that I don't care because it makes sense to me just as it is written!) I try to employ myself according to my gifts and desires and the "have to's" of everyday which makes for a busy and full life. I also tend to be a bit of a procrastinator, which is a weakness that I am constantly trying to overcome. 

And the combination of trying to be a wife, mom, teacher, friend, and all the other things I've got going on in life lend to a crazy life, sometimes...or rather oftentimes.

So I sit in a comfortably clean and organized room because everything is figured out and all is where it should be. It gives me peace. It makes me calm. It restores my exhausted soul. Can you see where I'm going here?

Resting in the arms of the One who has everything figured out, who knows what goes where and when it should go there and how it should all be put together, gives me peace. I might not have everything figured out in my life. I definitely don't know what my future holds, even though I try to plan it to the minute. Sometimes I cannot make straight the emotions and thoughts that want to rule my day. But God is the calm, the peace, the restorer of this weary soul that I need. All I have to do is turn it all over to Him and rest in the knowledge that He has it all under control. 

I'm so very grateful that He can take the messy room that is my mind and get it all back in order so that I can face another crazy day tomorrow.

KC

life lesson

The other day I did something that put me pretty high up in the ranks of "Meanest Mom Ever!" And I can write this post now because she doesn't read my blog yet. 

My kids and I had met my mom and my niece at Starbucks. After being there for almost an hour, boredom and grumpiness got the best of my daughter. (This is not unusual for her. Boredom. Grumpiness. Both are issues that I'm constantly working on with her because 1.) sometimes life is boring: figure out how to deal with it now because there will always be moments of boredom in your life and 2.) grumpiness is a choice: even if you are pre-disposed to a negative outlook on life, you can still choose to try to look for the good.) 

My daughter was sitting at a small table off to my left when I glanced at her and noticed she was writing something. At first I thought it was on a napkin, but as I stood up to look closer, I noticed she was scratching something into the surface of the tabletop. 

Now, I haven't had a specifics conversation about "not scratching the tops of tables at Starbucks," but I have had plenty of conversations about keeping our tabletops at home clean, not writing on them or scratching them so I'm pretty sure I had covered that lesson completely enough, so you could say I was a bit irritated seeing this. 

I promptly took her outside and had a conversation about defacing other people's property. It wasn't a long conversation, but I'm pretty sure she got the point because the consequence of her actions was one she'll never want to repeat.

I made her go up to the counter and apologize to the manager for what she did. Oh, the embarrassment!!

Now before you decide to critique my parenting technique, let me just explain a few things. First of all, there was no one else in line and nobody but the manager heard our conversation. I did not make a big production out of it. I believe in owning up to your wrongdoings, but not in utter public humiliation. Also, I did much of the talking to explain to the manager that I wanted my daughter to learn a lesson about this situation. We offered to do whatever was needed to repair the table (which is honestly kind of funny because the tabletop was such a mess of scratches anyway...but it was the point of the whole thing, ya know?!) And in humility, my daughter apologized. She was forgiven and we left Starbucks.

After we left, she was pretty upset with me. Until we got home, and then she broke down with a contrite heart. Lesson learned. Hugs and kisses abounded.

I know this was difficult for my girl to do. But it was difficult for me too! As a mom, I was embarrassed by her behavior. And it felt like a reflection of my parenting skills. It would have been easier for us to just leave it. No one would have known...except Jayne and me. But that was enough. Now I know she'll think twice before making a foolish decision that might have steeper consequences than just scratching a tabletop. 

But perhaps the bigger lesson is this: teaching her how to own up to her wrongdoings and making them right. Pride is a big deal to many people. But humility is a bigger deal to God. 

KC