i am who i am because of yesterday

From early on in my life God decided that I was not the kid who was going to have a life without troubles. My parents and brothers were great - I had (and still have) a fantastic family, so I can't blame them for my struggles growing up. I guess we are all just born with weaknesses and some of us get to experience them head-on sooner than others. 

I didn't have any traumatic experiences. No major car accident. No serious illness. Just years of on-going struggles with shyness and stomach problems. Which turned into anxiety and panic attacks. And among all of that was nervousness, fear, stress, worry... I was a calm wreck. Unless you knew me well, you probably had no idea what I was dealing with.

Fast forward to today. There have been numerous difficulties that this life on earth has brought. That's what happens when you live here: heartache, pain, sadness. But I am who I am today because of it all.

Honestly, I don't look back at my life and wish that the pain and the difficulties had never happened to me. As a matter of fact, I worry more about who I would have become if none of those things had been a part of my life. 

Because of trials:

I am stronger.

I am wiser.

I am more dependent on God.

I'm a better wife, mother, sister and friend.

I'm more kingdom-focused.

I have more patience.

I'm less judgemental.

Now, keep in mind that I am none of these things perfectly, or even close to it! 

But I am better at them all because of the trials in the first 30+ years of my life.

I'll be honest and tell you that I'm not looking forward to the next big struggle that life has set out in my path. But I know that I'll make it through, because I always have (with God's help), and on the other side I'll be a better person because of it.

KC