parenting is a joy and a blessing except when it's not

So here is a bit of me being real and open with you:

Being a mom can really suck.

(And writing that piece of honesty out brought tears to my eyes.)

I know that a statement like that has the potential to bring a ton of judgment to my plate. But I am willing to face your criticism for those moms who will read this and completely agree. For the moms who will read this a give a big sigh of relief because they are not the only ones who face that feeling.

Please understand one thing: I wouldn't change my life. I would not take back being a mom no matter what was offered to me. I love my children with a fierceness that is so strong, I'd give my very life for them. I know I'm not the only one.

But that doesn't change the fact that being a mom can really suck.

I always wanted to be a mommy. That was my only goal in life. Well getting married first, then mommyhood. Adorable little baby giggles, toothy smiles, snuggles, raising a family of obedient, respectful little blondies.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! 

I was seriously laughing as I wrote all of that out because now that I've had kids, that is all just ridiculous! Not that those things can't be a part of being a mom, but there is SO much more to it and SO much of it is not cute, sweet, adorable, or even enjoyable! 

Now, I'm not just talking about the hardwork, the gross stuff, the mandatory organization to keep the family functioning. I'm not even talking about the self-sacrificing or selflessness that moms have to do and become. Sorry, that's just part of being a mom.

I'm talking about the struggle of raising a child who fights me about nearly everything pretty much everyday. The words that cut deep and hurt. The joy that is constantly being robbed because of the attitude exuded from a child. The sobbing that comes from frustration and discouragement. The self-doubt of my capabilities as a mom. The fear that I will fail as a mom and my children will choose life directions that lead them away from the Lord. 

My struggle is in raising a child with a strong will. But there are moms who are raising children who are medically fragile. Others who are raising autistic children. Emotional disabilities, mental disabilities, special needs. Defiant, rebellious, obstinate.... 

And most of us wouldn't change a thing about where our lives are today, about who these amazing children are that we are raising. We are changed people. We are strong. We are better people because God placed these children in our lives.

BUT some days, and maybe even most days, being a mom can really suck.

KC