calling it what it is

Sometimes I think my communication skills as a parent really stink. Usually it's a lack of time or patience to explain something. Sometimes I just don't have the right words or cannot figure out how to address an issue. 

The other day I was at my brother's house with my kids. I asked my daughter to do something and she told me, "no!" This is not really a shocker to me simply because I hear it often and have to address it on a regular basis. However, at this point I was failing as a mom and telling her that she needed to do as I asked. I threatened her with some form of discipline. And then my brother stepped in.

Now, let me tell you a little something I feel is valuable in parenting. I believe that it does take a village to raise a child, you just have to make sure you have good people in your village. That being said, my brothers have every right to exercise authority over my children because they have my children's best interest at heart. They truly love my kids and understand what it takes to raise good, godly children.

Back to the story, my brother stepped in. He called her out. Her told her exactly what she was doing. She was being defiant. Defiance towards your parents is a sin and it is not tolerated in his house.

Now maybe she was a little embarrassed to be scolded by her uncle. Or maybe she realized that he was right. But she stepped in line and did what I asked her to do. 

Since that day I've realized that my kids need to hear that more often. They need to hear a sin called a sin. They need their actions defined for them so they can realize that their actions and words have deeper meaning behind them. 

Defiance

Rebellion

Disobedience

Disrespect

Selfishness

Laziness

These can be displayed in many different ways, but they each show me that there is a heart issue that needs to be addressed. By calling it out, I can start to address the heart, which is the most valuable part of our child.

And on the other side of things, there is ample opportunity to show them their positive actions as well. Drawing a picture for Grandma: thoughtfulness.

Buying a sucker for your sibling with your own money: generosity

Allowing your friend to choose what to play: conscientiousness

I believe we need to speak more truths into our children so that we can work with them on their heart issues and encourage them in their gifts and strengths. 

And the same rings true for us adults. (Don't you hate it when our children's lessons become our lessons?!) but really, it's the truth. We can make up excuses for our short comings all day long. But if we were to truly look at our hearts, we'd see the deeper issues that we need to address. I know I'm guilty of all 6 of those I've listed up there, but I'm pretty sure that's not the end of my list!

You know what? The older I get, the more I realize just how much work I still need to do on myself. Good thing I have some heavenly help!

KC