but i can

I've been home schooling my kids for 3 years now, going into my 4th year. So far this year has been awesome! But we're only a week in so.... I've got a good system going for us this year and I finally feel like we've got our groove down, but again: it's been a week. But even then, coming out of the summer we just had, I'm super excited to be where we are...so far...after just a week and a day. (I'm gonna put that day in there because we've earned it.)

This summer can really only be described as crazy. It wad beyond busy and stressful, but much of it was good stuff! Just crazy, busy stuff that gave us very little time to breathe. I will tell you that on 2 different occasions, I didn't really come out of my room until after lunch because those were the 2 days when it all got to me. I tend to go into survival mode by holing up in my bed and binge watching a Netflix show for approximately 5 hours. It doesn't happen very often and I don't allow myself to succumb to it for very long. But this summer, I did. Twice. (I'm claiming grace on those two days.)

Also this summer, I had 2 Sunday afternoons to plan out my school year. That's it. Two afternoons to plan an entire year of school. For 2 children. In 2 different grades. To say that I felt a little under prepared coming into #craginacademy2017and2018 would be an understatement. Some might say that I mismanaged my time. There might be some truth to that. But I would venture to say that those who actually witnessed this summer and know me would say that the fact that I came out breathing at all is impressive.

Without all the details, here's just a few things that happened this summer:
Kitchen remodel
Guests
Wedding (niece and new nephew)
Wedding Guests
Post Wedding Guests
Niece and Nephew had the joy of moving in with us for approximately 1.5 months
Mom in hospital
Mom out of hospital
More guests, (different guests)
Doctors appointments for Mom
Birthday party for me!!
Trip to Canada to visit Canadian Family that I ADORE!!!
And the day following our return from Canada: First day of school.
BOOM!! Summer gone.

All summer long I fretted about starting up the new school year. I was so under prepared. I felt horrible as a mom, totally neglecting the education of my children. That was my entire job: the growth of my kids! And I was failing before I even started.

Last week Wednesday was the first day of school. That day I pretty much gave up before I even started. On Thursday I nearly went into panic attack mode (people, I haven't been there in over 11 years. That'll tell you something about the stress I was feeling!)  and Thursday ended up being the most phenomenal day of home schooling we've had to date. That means ever, in all the history of Cragin Academy. Best. Day. Ever. And on Friday, things fell apart again. But that was no surprise for me. It usually happens after one really good day. *sigh*

And this week was Crazy Week: the week I full-on home school AND teach all of my piano students AND hold on to my sanity by a thread. But this week I had so many proud moments. I watched my kids succeed and excel like I never have before. They took on responsibilities that I didn't ask them to. Their growth and maturity from last year to this one is huge. And I have claimed more ownership over their education than I ever have before. I'm telling you, the groove is on!

Now, I'd like to say that I'm just so awesome that I got this all put together in those 2 Sunday afternoons all by myself. But that's just ridiculous. I'm not that organized and I'm not great at schedules and routines. But it all got put together and after a week (and a day), I'm astounded.

I think what happened is that this summer took all control out of my hands. I stressed and stressed about the upcoming school year and just didn't have the time to put it all together. And God sat there in the sidelines, taking care of all of it for me. It's not like I had to let go of it (although I know that's a lesson I'm constantly going to be learning). It's more like I never had time to even grasp on to it and God said: "no worries! I've got you covered."

All summer long I said: "I can't, I can't, I can't."
 I do that a lot in my life: tell myself I can't.
But God's always right next to me saying: "But I can."
It's about time I listened.

KC