intentional conversation

Conversation. This is something that comes naturally (usually) among family members.  We talk about our day.  We voice our frustrations and desires. We bicker and argue (not very much in our household; we're nearly perfect, you know - and if you believe that, then you haven't been reading my blog very long!) We give commands to our children. We ask favors of our spouses.  We express our love and affection.  But in our house, we are trying to take it one step further:

Intentional conversation.  There are so many opportunities throughout the day for us to have a conversation that will affect our childrens' hearts.  We now try to plan them.  We spend time in the evening discussing any negative behavior that may have happened and how to change it, or praising the kids for the positive things that have happened.  After one of our children has to be disciplined, we will chat with them, asking questions to get them to think about their choices and what the outcome has been for them.  In the morning we discuss our expectations for them and what their roles are in the family.

We started doing this at the recommendation of our children's pastor.  Instead of addressing our kids' issues in the middle of their tantrum (you know, trying to talk logically to a 5 year old who is kicking and screaming on the floor or to an 8 year old who is trying every form of manipulation to get her way - not that these things ever happen in my home...), we now wait until they are more receptive.  We have intentional conversations throughout the day when our children are actually acting like normal, well-behaved, allowed-out-in-public children.  It's amazing how things "click" when the timing is right. 

One thing that we often bring into the conversation is the well-known WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).  This affects their heart the most.  "How do you think Jesus would have acted when your brother pulled your hair? Do you think he would have punched him?" "Do you think Jesus likes the way you were yelling at your mom?" "Do you think Jesus would have kicked over the chair like that? (Again, my kids are never naughty...nope, never). With our goal as parents to have our children desire to follow Jesus, this is the most important part of the conversation.

We still miss many opportunities, but by having it in the forefront of our minds, we are hoping to develop this intentional conversation into a daily habit. 

Parenting: who knew it was such a big job?!

KC