But I did the "I'm sorry but..." Yeah, that doesn't really count. I started making all these excuses for why I had been that way. Yep. I pointed outward at everything else and didn't point at the true cause. Me. Here we have working so hard to help our daughter understand that she can't blame everyone else for her actions and attitudes and what do I do? Just that.
And you know what my husband did? He pointed it out. I hate when he's right! Well I don't always hate when he's right, just when it means I'm wrong.
So I gave myself some space and a bit of time to gather my courage and humility and finally apologized. I took the blame. I pointed at myself and I made that apology a real one. Do you know how hard that is to do? It literally feels like you are swallowing your pride. And I do mean "literally" literally. As I worked up the words I needs to say, my throat fought back against me. Haven't you ever felt that way? It's quite uncomfortable.
But it was necessary. After I apologized, I could see in his face that everything was going to be okay. He would get over it and forgive me as he always does.
So what do your apologies sound like? "I'm sorry but..." or "I'm sorry you misunderstood me..." (that's not real either) or even "I'm sorry you feel that way." Or does your apology ring true: "I'm sorry. I was wrong."
Like I always tell my daughter, "Don't apologize unless you really mean it."
(Always learning from my own lessons as a mom!)
KC
No comments:
Post a Comment