just a little bit

So... a touchy subject.  Something I'm guilty of.  Do you ever talk about someone who is not in the room with you in a not-so-uplifting way?  Even just a little bit of unflattering conversation?  Or just agree with someone who brought the subject up? 

You know, it might not seem like a big deal. But have you ever played the Telephone Game?  This is the most popular game used to show what can happen with one small piece of gossip, or to show kids how rumors start.  A group sits in a circle and the first person whispers a secret to the person next to them.  Then that person whispers the same message to the next person.  And on and on until the last person hears the message and says it out loud.  By that time it barely resembles what the first person said!

I have had this happen a time or two.  One time I was engaged when I wasn't even close!  Another time I was mistaken for someone's wife when I wasn't: squashed that one pretty quickly!  

Those are pretty tame considering what can happen when someone starts a rumor or spreads a little gossip.  A reputation can be ruined.  A person could lose their job.  Friendships could be destroyed. 

Feelings can get hurt. Trust broken.  All because we didn't "take care" in our conversation.

We "rationalize" or "reason" (thanks, SY) why we are discussing a friend's personal info.  We think a little can't hurt.  I know its is something I struggle with often.  So I've tried to have a certain mindset when I go into conversation:

Sometimes I catch myself in conversation thinking, "Would I say this if this person was sitting here with me?"  And other times I think, "Would I want someone to say this about me if I wasn't around?"  And if it is someone else bringing the town gossip to light, I like to ask for confirmation of their sources.  In other words , I'd like to know if the info came directly from the horses mouth.

                                       

(By the way, I looked up what that phrase means, "from the horses mouth" and it's too lengthy to go into at this time of night, something to do with horse teeth and getting horse racing tips directly from the horse itself - but if you really want to know, go directly to the source: the internet).

Here's another quote I read (thank you Pinterest) that just stuck with me.  Do you really pay attention to what you are talking about?  I do so more now that I've read this quote:

Great minds discuss ideas.

Average minds discuss events.

Small minds discuss people.

-Eleanor Roosevelt 

And, as if we need more reason, Exodus 20:16 says, "Do not bear false witness against your neighbor."  

Way to go, Kathy - just convicting yourself throughout this whole post!  Sheesh.

KC