God knows

I'd like to think I'm a pretty smart gal. I've had a bunch of education, I read a lot, I try to meet new and interesting people and take risks in life to experience new things and have adventures. I've been through a few rough patches in my life because once upon a time I decided to ask God for wisdom and He sees fit to give me that wisdom by having me walk through those stinkin' rough patches. So I think that on top of being smart, I've also got a bit of wisdom in my back pocket. Great combination, right?!

Here's the thing though, folks. In gaining knowledge and wisdom and experience in this life so far, I have realized a very valuable piece of information: the more you know, the more you understand how little you really know!

And God shows me regularly just how much I don't know.

Sometimes I think I've got a pretty good handle on this parenting thing and then I find out that my 6 year old son got reprimanded by a neighborhood mom (whom I don't know) for biting her son when he was playing in our front yard. Yes, my mild-mannered, sweet and sensitive son bit the neighbor kid! (I'm not going to get into the details about whether this kid deserved it or not...because it doesn't matter. My kid should not be biting neighbors!) 

Sometimes I look at my marriage and think we've got an impressive thing going on here. We are approaching 15 years of marriage here, people: I will take the applause!! But then we get into an argument over a simple miscommunication that ruins our entire evening! What in the world? How are we not past this yet?! 

And even my own personal fears, insecurities, emotional issues that I think I have overcome. Nope. I had a funk that lasted a few weeks last month - can't even tell you where it came from! And I nearly started hyperventilating a few times a couple weeks ago from a stressful situation. These are things I've worked through once in my life - how do I not have a handle on them?!

Goodness, people, there is a laundry list of things that I do not know or understand about this life. But there is one immoveable thing that I do know: God knows. 

God knows it all. He understands every bit of what is happening in my life. Even when I don't understand why a friend's marriage is falling apart or why another friend's heart is broken. Even when I don't understand the reason for the loss of our friend's child, whether to sickness or a car accident. And when disappointments are great and frustrations are constant...

God knows. 

I'm living in trust that He knows the reasons behind the "whys" and that is a comforting place to be. Someday maybe I will understand. But perhaps it will never be revealed to me. 

But God knows. 

When you're tired of trying to figure it all out, rest in that knowledge.

KC