talk about them

Here's a little something I learned about losing a loved one: after that loss, you still want to talk about that person, share stories, look at photos, remember him. You want to believe that the person you loved so deeply will not be forgotten. You want to know that he made such an impact on other people's lives that they think of him often too. 

Friends, there is not a day that passes where I don't think of my dad. The void is there, it is always present in my life, everyday. I miss him. I miss who we were as father and daughter. I miss who he would have been as a grandpa to my kids. I miss his smile, his goofy mannerisms, his humor (goodness, I miss his humor!) I miss how genuine he was and how he tried to make people smile, how he cared for other people and would gladly give of his time to help someone out. I miss how he often smelled like BBQ smoke during the evening service of church and how he would swerve a little while driving because he was so busy looking at the landscape around him instead of straight ahead. I miss his quirks, how he used one foot for the gas and the other foot for the brake and how he always preferred that his truck be some shade of tan because then you could never tell when it was dirty.

And I know I'm going on and on, but I guess that's my point:

Don't be afraid to bring up the name of someone who has passed away to one of their loved ones. Don't be afraid to ask about memories or just to let the other person talk about the one they loved. Yeah, the loss they have experienced is probably huge and you might be entering a world of tears by bringing up their loved one, but I guarantee that it will mean so much to them to be able to share memories of that person. Somehow it makes them feel not so far away...

I know my latest posts are about grieving and such, but that's because I have known 5 people under the age of 31 who have passed away in the past 6 or 7 months. And although the loss of each person has affected me deeply, it's also the hurt that the families are experiencing that grieves me to my core.

Maybe there are a few who can't or won't talk about their loss, but it has been my experience that most people want to talk about their dearest family member who resides in heaven, but who also resides so deeply within their hearts. 

So don't be afraid to talk about the members of heaven.

KC