Thursday, February 22, 2018

save the drama...

So one of the things that I have realized from being a female for my whole life is that I don't do drama. I'm don't like it. I don't have patience for it. I think it's petty and dumb. When I was younger, I hung out mostly with the guys because they don't really don't do drama. I was a tomboy probably for that very reason!

Recently, I had a run in with some drama. Like I said, I don't do drama. I was simply pulled in by being in the same room as this gal. It's complicated to explain and not really worth it (BECAUSE DRAMA *eyeroll*) and that's not the main point of the story anyway.

Here's the main point of the story (well, getting there anyway...): part of me was very frustrated with this person who had not even spent a moment of her time to get to know me before judging me and creating drama. I had a couple of good friends who were involved in this situation as well and while I know a part of us wanted to bash this person, that wasn't the right thing to do either.

While our frustrations were justified, our bashing wouldn't have been appropriate. We don't know this person's background, what kind of baggage they might be carrying (because we are ALL carrying luggage around, some of our bags are just bigger than others!), we don't know what a person's state of mind or heart might be or what in their life has influenced them to be who they are or act the way they do.

And for these reasons, and because God calls us to, one of those good friends on mine said that we should pray for this person. Not because we liked her, but because it was the right thing to do. (I'm telling you, I have amazing friends.)

Matthew 5:44 specifically says: "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Do you KNOW how hard this is to do?! Pray for the person who is being mean to you?! AND LOVE THEM?! God, really, you are asking too much. That's just ridiculous.

But do you know what that does for you? It releases the responsibility of justice and anger from you and puts it in God's hands. And although the whole "love your enemy" part might seem impossible, you are truly showing them love by praying that God might have a mighty work in their life.

So as much as I'd like to avoid drama, it looks like I can't even in my late 20's...I mean 30's (*sigh*). I might as well be a teenager again...

KC

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

breathing

I just returned home from a little trip away where I got to spend time with some of my nearest and dearest. I left my most nearest and most dearest to do so. In other words: I left my hubby and kids so that I could spend some time with my friends. (Sorry I used so many words there. I thought I was maybe being clever or something. Maybe not so much!)

I try to do this about once a year. I used to feel guilty about going. After all, I was leaving my family to go and do what I wanted to do. Things like eat what I wanted, eat when I wanted, eat where I wanted.  Okay, usually it really is about food for me. I love to eat! I like to cook. But I really prefer to go somewhere and have someone else make my food for me. You know: like even a sandwich will taste 10 times better if you don't have to make it yourself! Maybe I should just hire a chef...

Okay, but digging deeper: there are many reasons I like to go away for a bit with my friends. I like to have fun and it gives me a chance to catch up on their lives. We go places and experience things I don't regularly get to do. But the truth is that I need the break from home. My brain needs to get out of my house so it doesn't keep the big to-do list up front and center. My body needs to sleep in without the nagging feeling that the laundry should be started. My heart needs to not "mom" for a bit (not that you ever stop momming, but it is nice to hear the sound of the water fountain outside the hotel room instead of the children bickering and arguing and making annoying sounds!) I get to think about me and my needs instead of meeting everyone else's, just for a little while.

I love being a wife and mom. But being a wife and mom often means running at full speed to make sure that everything runs well, or in my case just making sure everything runs! Eventually the gas tank runs out. If it runs out for me I can feel myself getting bitter and resentful. I'm not saying I'm right in feeling this way. I'm just saying that it becomes a struggle.

So I go away for a bit so that I can fill the gas tank to this old Katillac. (See what I did there?! Cadillac, but with my name instead! Clever!! Or dumb. Mostly dumb.) And when I come home, I feel needed and ready to tackle all the responsibilities once again! Well, not exactly. I could handle vacation for a little longer. But I do come back feeling as if I have caught my breath and can do all the things on the to-do list. That feeling lasts for about a day when reality checks in and I see that the to-do list is never going to be completed. But there is hope once again and hope is an important thing to have.

I don't know exactly how Jesus felt about this but in Mark 6:32, He and his buddies did go away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. Sounds like a chance to breathe and rest to me!

So next trip away from the to-do list, who's with me?!
(I'm thinking we go next week...)

KC

Monday, February 5, 2018

say it, mean it

There's this saying that gets said a lot. I'm never sure exactly how to take it because it often feels like a platitude. It's supposed to be said in appropriate situations but the follow-through is not a guarantee. And that stinks.

I was guilty of this years ago. If someone was going through something tough, I would tell them: "I'll pray for you!" or: "I'm praying for you!" And, admittedly, I'm not a prayer warrior, so I would rarely revisited that promise.

I got tired of being fake so I stopped saying that I would pray when I knew I wouldn't follow through. So instead, I told them I was sorry for them, or that the situation sucked, or some other thing that didn't require commitment. But that felt terrible too, so I decided I needed to do something about it.

So often, I think that when we say we will pray for someone, we think we need to speak in clear and concise sentences to God. As if He doesn't already know the situation and can't figure out what our dear one needs. I also think we feel like we should be in a solemn, quiet situation before we start and complete our prayer because that's the only way that God can hear us.

There's nothing wrong with either of those situations, but the truth is that we're putting a lot of pressure on ourselves when we tell someone we will pray for them, with the intention that we will find our most eloquent words in a serene setting. (Do you know how often eloquent words come out of my mouth and how frequently I find myself in a serene setting?! Never. Just never.)

And I don't think we need to be an incredible prayer warrior. I'm not and I no longer feel bad about it. Turns out that God has other gifts and uses for me and I'm cool with that.

But, with all my shortcomings in the prayer field, I think I've found a few things that seem to work for me and God. When I tell someone that I'm going to pray for them, I do it immediately. And then I do it when they randomly pop into my head throughout the day. And in some situations, I find myself in a semi-conversation with God all day long regarding a prayer request.

I'll pray when I'm driving, because it turns out that I CAN have a conversation with my eyes open. And sometimes the words that come out of my mouth are just words like: "peace," and "comfort," and "wisdom," because ultimately God already knows what is needed and if He can understand every language in this world, then I'm pretty sure He can understand the utterings of my heart, as simple as they might be. There have been times when I have told God: "I don't know what to say so: *siiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhh*" and He totally understands the heaviness and the heart behind that sigh.

Check this out:
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."
Romans 8:26
(See, that Holy Spirit has got our back!)

And then there are times when, even though it might seem awkward, I'll stop my friend who is struggling and pray right then and there for her! Imagine that: praying in the middle of Starbucks, or a parking lot, or in their living room. It might start out awkward, but by the end of my simple prayer, God usually takes the awkward out of it. He's good like that.

I don't know that I'll ever make it into Prayer Warriorshipdom. 
But I can tell you this: If I tell you that I'll be praying for you, I will be praying for you.

KC