Tuesday, January 30, 2018

dumb idea

YOU GUYS!!! Why in the world do so many of you want to go zip lining with me?! And why didn't I put "Go on a cruise with all my friends" on my 40 Before Forty List instead of zip lining?! AUGH! Here I was, just hoping that perhaps that one would fall through the cracks this year but NOOOOOOOO, you all are going to get me up on a terrifying platform, hooked to some rope contraption thing, only to be pushed off (because I'm pretty sure I'm not getting off that platform voluntarily) into crazy heights over absolutely no safety nets, hoping to high heaven that I don't pee my pants! I regret sharing my list with you all!!!

Okay, maybe not.
I still like your hearts.
Even if you are trying to get me to pee my pants.

Let me explain my foolishness for adding zip lining to my List.
I have a phobia regarding heights. I struggle to be near the banisters upstairs in my own house. If someone is standing near them, I ask them to move away. I cannot watch videos of people in those tall buildings who are looking out of floor-to-ceiling glass windows. And those RIDICULOUS videos of people walking on glass bridges over stupid heights so that they can see what awaits them if they fall thousands of feet....NOPE. I can't. I struggle if my kids walk over a bridge. You know that one at Knight's Ferry? It's enclosed, people. But there are cracks and I have to concentrate on not looking down through those cracks because otherwise I will never, ever cross the bridge. I do not have any idea where this phobia came from, but it affects me if members of my family are on tall ladders or on our roof or are looking over the edge of anything that is more than 8 feet tall. I seriously even had issues at the playground watching my children climb over and around the structures and I stressed about them falling down.

I am telling you, zip lining is not on the List because I think it would be fun. I probably put it on the list for reasons of facing my fears. Which I now think is a dumb idea...

HOWEVER, once upon a time, I did face this fear. In high school, our volleyball team went on a retreat and participated in a ropes course. One part of the ropes course was a giant ladder that was made up of huge logs held together by I-have-no-idea-what anymore, but it was not safe, I'm sure of it! Our job was to climb all the way up this stupid thing (it looked like 300 feet tall but was probably more like 40 or 50 feet), cross over the top log/rung of it and then climb back down. There was room for about 3 of us to do it at once, but in reality, it was best for just 2 of us to try and maneuver up and over it. If I remember correctly, we were paired up with someone to help each other get all the way up and over. I was paired with the tallest gal on the team who could hit the ball like no on else. She was a fierce competitor if you faced her on the volleyball net. AMAZING. Strong, powerful, full of all the things you want in a front row hitter.

This amazing gal, she got halfway up the ladder and stopped, and started crying, her fears had completely overtaken her. And there I was sitting across from her and my job now was to encourage her to get up and go to the next rung and so on until we made it up and over and back down again. UMMM, WHAT?! I was the skinniest, scrawniest kid in school. I was a setter on the team and "powerful" and "strong" did not define me. But she needed me so I climbed with her through her tears and encouraged her up and over that stupid giant ladder. And any fears I had were completely gone. Why? Because my focus was no longer on me, but were on helping someone else.

Little did I know how true this would be in life. The first time it truly became evident to me was when I had children. I went from an anxiety-ridden woman to a momma bear who would overcome whatever obstacles I needed to in my own life in order to be there for my children. When we turn our focus away from ourselves and our fears and towards other people and how we can meet their needs, it makes our fears seem a little less significant.

God knows this: "There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear." 1 John 4:18.
Perfect Love = God.
Best example ever.

I'm pretty sure, though, that God didn't say: "Kat, you should go zip lining because that is a great way for you to help somebody out..."
So I think I'm going to need a little more convincing, y'all!!

Seriously, guys, couldn't you have all been more excited about helping me grow a garden or write up my will?!

I guess I'll be planning a zip lining trip. Better be some yummy treats awaiting me when I'm done, just sayin'.
KC

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

the list

I recently told you all about my Journey into 40 and my decision to continue to rock 39 as I work on my Forty Before 40 List. What I didn't mention to you is all that I have completed to date (in approximately 6 years. Sheesh).

So here is my Forty Before 40 List with all of its accomplishments (in red) and even more unaccomplisments (in black).

1. Perform music in some capacity (Complete! I played piano for a number of years for a local Southern Gospel group.)
2.Own a cabin with Scott (Twain Harte/Mi-Wuk, anyone?)
3.Grown a veggie garden successfully (I try every stinking year...)
4. Build a piece of furniture
5. Bake a cake and frost with fondant (I did this last year for Lincoln's birthday - not gorgeous, but done!)
6.Take up jogging consistently (I did this until I completed a half marathon and then I switched to CrossFit. Totally counts.)
7. Have a successful outlet for my crafting (I've owned two businesses, going on three, and have sold all kinds of my crafting stuff and things!) 
8.Catch up on scrapbooking (HA!!)
9. Read the Bible from beginning to end
10. Go on a cross-country trip with Scott and the kids
11. Zipline (I regret putting this one on the list)
12. Go to a ranch
13. Eat Thai food (My gal pal, Stacey, was determined to help me accomplish this when I visited her in Phoenix! It was so good!)
14. Knit or crochet a scarf (turned out to be a blanket, but that's even better!)
15. Learn to play guitar (I can play a G chord so far...)
16. Buy real cowboy boots (They were from a garage sale, but they were Ariats so it TOTALLY counts!)
17. Go to a rodeo (I hear Oakdale has one coming up in a few months...)
18. Read 5 classics (I'm nearly finished with my 3rd one so I'm getting this one done for SURE!)
19. Watch Citizen Cane (done in 2016)
20. Finish writing my Forty Before 40 List (it took me a while to get it done, okay?!)
21. Try to convince Scott to write a 40 Before 40 list (ours are vastly different)
22. Begin hosting a neighborhood block party on a regular basis (we are well on our way to this one, eh, neighbors?)
23. Own a pair of Tom's shoes (I've now owned 3 pairs)
24. Run a 5K marathon (which I did, followed by a half - yay me! And there is no desire to run one again...)
25. Visit Napa (it was beautiful!)
26. Learn to skateboard (I have no desire to learn tricks, just how to ride and keep my balance!)
27. Be able to sponsor a child in a 3rd world country (we sponsor Dove)
28. Adopt a child
29. Go on a missions trip with Scott
30. Learn some type of formal dance (does Swing count? I think it does. Anyone wanna teach me to Swing Dance?!)
31. Find a good ladies Bible study to complete (key words being "good" and "complete")
32. Shoot a gun (thank you hubby and Barnwood Arms!)
33. Make a clock and/or lamp (it wasn't pretty and currently lives in a closet but I can mark it off the list)
34. Write and publish an ebook (I've started it...)
35. Learn the Maple Leaf Rag from beginning to end (those of you who have heard it know that I can play this song from the beginning to about the end of the first page...there are 5 pages)
36. Learn a second language well enough to hold a simple conversation (any Spanish speakers out there?!)
37. Paint a realistic painting (but of what?!)
38. Take the entire family to Canada to visit relatives (done and done again!)
39. Develop a habit of writing at least one hand-written note/card a month (send me your address, I've got to get to work on this one!!)
40. Complete my will (I'm nearly 40, people!! It's time!)       

And there you have it. Looks like 2018 could have some interesting moments in it, don't you think? Donde esta el bano? (See?! I've totally got this...)      

I'll keep you all posted on my progress. It's gonna be a good year!

KC     

Saturday, January 20, 2018

grateful for fog (not really)

Can I just say how much I appreciate the sunshine?! I don't realize just how much I miss it until I'm into about day 3 of fogginess and overcastness. And I'm pretty sure we got to about 6 or 7 days of all that malarkey. The sunshine energizes me and when it is not visible, I live in a fog too. I'm kinda high maintenance when it comes to weather...

But then I think: what if I lived in sunshine all the time? Would I get tired of it? Would I take it for granted? (Probably not - I'm pretty grateful for it everyday! But for the sake of this post... maybe!)  I think that maybe when we get a good thing on a regular basis, sometimes we have to have it gone for a bit to really appreciate it.

It's like our health, or our families, or the stuff we have.

I love camping, but I'll tell you what: I'm grateful to get back to my bed and my shower and my kitchen!

And I love my kids. My kids are ornery and get completely get on my nerves. They can be stinkers and be disobedient and make bad choices (and leaves their socks all OVER the house - if you've been following my Instagram account: @katcragin_writes, then you would understand the sock saga). But I have a close relationship with each of them and I get to spend time with them and I know they have good hearts! And I'm reminded of these hearts when I read articles or hear stories of children who have no respect for their parents or have a rebellious spirit or who have parents who gave up on them and they've had to raise themselves.

And my health: I'm not in great shape. Pretty sure I can count on 2 hands how many times I worked out in 2017... But I'm not sick, I can still function quite normally, and I really have nothing to complain about. But having cancer in our family certainly makes a person examine ther lifestyle and be grateful for their current health and strength!

Sometimes the fog and gloom need to filter into life so that we can appreciate all the good God has bestowed upon us. 
Sometimes the socks need to be left all over the house so you can appreciate when they are all put in the laundry. That one day out of the month. 🙄
Sometimes you need to find an eggshell in your breakfast so you can appreciate how wonderful they taste without shells. 
Sometimes you need the loudness and distractions throughout the day so you can appreciate the peacefulness and quiet in the evening.
And sometimes you have to be in the ashes before you get that crown of beauty. (Isaiah 61:3)

KC





Thursday, January 18, 2018

10 things i can't live without

I was chatting with a good gal pal of mine and we got to brainstorming about what we couldn't live without. It ranged from special people to food to kitchen gadgets and so on and so forth. I thought I'd fill you in on my Top Ten!

So here are the Top Ten Things I Currently Can't Live Without:
("Currently," because some items are seasonal. I love my flip flops in the summer, but currently I can live without them!)
(Also, I chose not to include people and food because those need to be their very own special lists, ya know? I can't very well just throw cheese into the middle of a list including non-stick pans! It deserves its own list. Shucks, I might just have to have a list dedicated to my favorite CHEESES! Coming soon...)

10. Non-Stick Pans (bet you didn't see that one coming!) I'm telling you what, though: with two kids learning how to cook, non-stick is the only feasible way for me to keep my sanity and save my money. I LOVE that my kids know how to make scrambled eggs. I do NOT love the idea of cleaning out a pan with crusty pieces of dried up egg all over it. So non-stick it is. PLUS: my children can easily wash the pan without complaining. "Can" and "do" are two different words though, folks...

9. Vaseline Lip Therapy - this is my saving grace for my lips. One of my gal pals bought me a little container of this a few years back and I used it ALL THE TIME! There are probably 7 little containers of this stuff currently hiding around my house. When my kids were little, they used to get really chapped lips, like the kind that makes them look like they tried to put lipstick on but ended up coloring outside the lines. I would wait until they fell asleep and then cover their lips with this stuff, just really slather it on them! They would twitch as I put it on, but I didn't care: this stuff absolutely works! And the containers are just so stinking cute!


8. My Glorious Crockpot - There's not much more I can say. The name alone signifies a stressless afternoon while dinner cooks in the crockpot, just waiting for me to take it out as delicious pulled pork, stew, potato soup, or white chicken chili...I see another list forming.

7. Blankets - I'm sitting at my desk currently covered in a blanket. My children each have a minimum of 4 blankets in their rooms. My bed has three on it and I have foregone the sheet in favor of sleeping with a blanket on me because it is soft and warm immediately when I climb into bed. I refuse to count how many blankets are in my house for fear of your criticisms...

6. Brawny brand Select-A-Size Paper Towels - We will never buy anything other than these paper towels. Call us paper towel snobs. We will gladly own up to it. I buy a lot of generic things but paper towels and toilet paper are not among those things. Uh-uh. No way.

5. Mason Jars - Quite possibly the most versatile objects in my home, I have mason jars in pretty much every room of my house! We use them for drinking glasses, to hold pencils, pens, and paintbrushes, for collecting stray Lego pieces (because those sets are expensive, y'all!), and for floral bouquets. I have a small one for business cards, a taller one with succulents growing out of it, a couple of change jars, and some were actually used for canning salsa and hot pepper jelly! Imagine that...

(Isn't this exciting?! Getting closer to #1... Yes, I'm a dork for lists, but I know I'm not the only one. My gal pal who brainstormed this list with me is a list dork too!)





4. Large Desk Calendar - I tried using my phone and even my iPad calendars. They just didn't cut it. I've used day planners and smaller pocket calendars, but the best way I can keep my life organized, the way that actually works for me is with a huge desk calendar. I need to see it all. I don't know why my brain works that way, it just does, so I go with it.

3. Ticonderoga Pencils - I do not allow any other type of pencils in my house. If I see a cute Christmas pencil, I throw it away. I have purged myself of all pencils that crack and break, the ones that never sharpen, and the ones where the stupid lead just slides on out of it. Life is TOO SHORT TO DEAL WITH STUPID PENCILS!

(Okay, calm yourselves. I know we're close to #1 but I'm telling you: I'm not that exciting of a person and I don't want you to be disappointed. But you've made it this far so you might as well keep reading. You're learning some interesting things about me, to say the least. And you either thing I'm weird or that we might be kindred spirits. I'm good with both.)

2. Music - this is an absolute necessity in my house. I listen to music in the morning, when we're driving around town, when I'm in a bad mood, while I'm cooking dinner, when I'm trying to distract my children from being ornery ding dongs, when I'm in a good mood, when I feel like dancing (which is a pretty regular feeling for me). Music is a gift. God knew what He was doing when He gave us that gift. (HA! God knew what He was doing every time He did any thing! But you get my point here, I'm sure.) Music is a part of everyday life. It is in the store you shop in, the movies you watch, the church you attend - it's everywhere! I am so grateful for music's role in saving my sanity on some pretty rough days...

AAAAAAANNNNNDDDDD....................

1. PINTEREST. Yes, you read through that entire list just to get to this one: Pinterest. Whoever created Pinterest is a genius!! If you haven't used it yet, you might just be missing out on the best thing to happen to your life. Want a recipe? BOOM! A funny quote? BOOM! A meme that perfectly fits a conversation you are having with your bestie: TA-DAH!! Want to DIY some project? Or learn about chickens? Find the right scripture from Psalms? Or grow a garden, find an essential oil recipe, figure out your next tattoo, discover how to generate a 6 figure income as a stay-at-home mom (yeah...), find educational activities for your kids, how to get a stain of any sort out of any kind of material, learn the difference between Paleo, Whole 30, Keto, and Alkaline Diets, figure out how to curl your hair better, or wear make up better, or how to install your own hardwood floors.... THE LIST OF IT ALL NEVER ENDS!!!! I am telling you: I use this app a million times a day and that is not an exaggeration. Unless exaggeration means excessive, in which case I might be exaggerating a bit, but I do use it a whole lot! I can honestly say that my life is better because of the Pinterest app.

And there you have it, folks: tonight's exciting List of Things I Can't (or maybe don't want to) Live Without. For those of you who read last night's blog, stay tuned: my Forty Before 40 list is coming soon!

KC

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

journey into 40

I'm approaching 40 this year. I don't really like to say that out loud...even if it is in my blog, typed, and not spoken. This is till too out loud for me! But it doesn't really matter whether I say it out loud or not, it's freaking happening.
Ugh.

When I turned 39 in 2017, I determined that I was going to rock it! I wasn't going to let myself get depressed by the upcoming year (40) but was going to make it my best year yet! That hasn't exactly happened, but life doesn't always go according to my plans. In reality, life rarely goes according to my plans! I know, I know: God knows best and has bigger and better things in store, but sometimes it would be nice if his bigger and better things followed a little more closely to what I've got laid out in the next year! *sigh*

All that being said, I'm not done with 39 and I've still got big stuff coming up! And small stuff. And medium stuff. As a matter of fact, when 2018 dropped, I was reminded of my 40 Before 40 List. See original post here! On this list I dreamed up 40 things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 40 years old. I believe I wrote this list back in 2012/13! I'm proud to say that in the last 6 years I've completed less than half of those things (rolling my eyes at myself) and at times, I have felt like the whole idea was impossible. But then I go to this well-worn list that hangs in our laundry room and I think about how each item was put there with a purpose and as I read through each adventure yet to be had, I don't want to give up!

So I made a decision: I'm taking you all along on my Journey to 40. I'm going to work my tail off to accomplish as many of these awesome things as possible over the next 7 months. I already know that some of them will not be completed by August, but I will still take steps towards getting them done! It's gonna be awesome. I know it. I know it because I already completed one of my goals and am SO stinking excited about it! Which seems silly because it's not a spectacular thing and I didn't do it perfectly. But I DID it! And that's all that matters.

This past weekend my cousin, came to visit me and help me crochet a blanket. Now, Number 14 on the list actually says: "Learn to knit or crochet a scarf" but I went ahead and took it a step further and together we created a blanket! I didn't use any crochet hooks because the skeins of soft, smooshy yarn were so thick that a hook wasn't necessary, but we sat on the floor and took turns completing row after row of chains (I said learn how to crochet, not necessarily learn the lingo!) and last night, I finished that bad boy and took it up to bed with me!

It's very far from perfect. I've had a few stitches fall out and had to improvise on how to fix them, but it's all good because it's heavy and warm and soft and I did it! ...with the help of my amazing cousin who patiently sat on the floor with me and pulled out loose stitches and took over when I was too tired to do any more.

And that feeling, the feeling of learning something new and completing a project, that is why I decided to continue with this list of mine. And being accountable: that is why I decided to publish this post tonight. I've discovered that when I know people might be paying attention to what I'm doing, I tend to get more done! (Hence the numerous clean closets/cupboards/rooms in my house over Christmas Break!)

I'll get you up-to-date in a future post on what I have left to do this year and maybe you all can help me out on a few of these!! (Anybody wanna partner up and buy a cabin with me? That's Number 2 on the list!)

What do you want to accomplish in the next 7 months/years/whenever? Let's get stuff done, y'all!!

KC



Sunday, January 7, 2018

chaos coordinator

Over Christmas break, you might have noticed on my facebook page that I did a bunch of purging/cleaning/organizing around our house. Truth be told, some of these areas hadn't been touched since we moved in 6 years ago. Here I sit, less than 10 hours before school starts again and all I can think about is how many more rooms/cupboards/closets/drawers could use some of my good TLC, or rather "rough lovin'" because I'll tell you what: I threw out and donated SO MUCH STUFF!!!

And now I can't remember why I even started talking about that.
Which is often the case in my life.
I'm hoping my memory gets BETTER as I get older...
Ha! Yeah, we'll see about that!

Ah, yes.
Sanity.
I was going to talk about sanity.

This whole purging/cleaning/organizing thing is not something I enjoy doing. It requires time and a bunch of determination to tackle some hefty messes. I like the end result and currently I needed the end result: organized sanity.

When I'm overwhelmed, I find that I typically go to my kitchen and clean it up. I can whip that room into shape in no time. The rest of the house might be a Lego/slime/dirty sock warzone, but I can handle it all if I have just a bit of sanity in one place in the house. It's usually the kitchen. Probably because I spend 75% of my waking moments in there. So that means I have restored sanity to nearly 75% of my (awake) life!

You could say that over the last 6 months or so, life got a little overwhelming. My mom had numerous health issues in conjunction with a cancer diagnosis and that'll interrupt life a bit. But she's my momma so life had to be interrupted. But that meant that many things around here kicked into survival mode, especially the cleaning aspect of life. Things piled up, got shoved in closets, were hidden in rooms that weren't used very much, and eventually the messes contaminated nearly every room in the house. Some of them we just got used to, but as the house got less organized, my sanity began to disappear as well.

After Christmas Day, I wrote a list of all the places in the house that I could think of that needed to be put back in order, otherwise I would avoid those spots for the next 6 months...or more. And eventually I wouldn't want to be in my house anymore. And then I jumped in, starting with the pantry. Actually, that's a lie. I started with a drawer in our kitchen that we had given over to our daughter for her slime creations. That was a terrible mistake and she now has an area out in the garage dedicated to her stupid slime mess... I mean creative slime mess. I took back ownership of the slime drawer and currently store our essential oils in there. Organizing that drawer made me walk around the kitchen like a proud chicken. I don't know why. It's just a little drawer! But it felt good and THEN I moved on to the pantry. My pantry is like a dream right now. I still like to walk in there and just look around, admiring the organized beauty of it all...

Please don't be mistaken: I'm not one of those amazing Pinterest ladies who likes to clean and keep her house looking magnificent (if you think that's the case, just check out our bathroom!) I'm one of those moms who found herself hating her house because it had become such a place of unrest. I knew that in order to take better care of everyone else around me, I needed to do some cleaning up for myself.

And this is how I know that God has granted me a bit my of sanity back: I'm on my couch, writing my blog. I have tried numerous times and found my brain clogged and jumbled and a mess, just like my house. And this evening, even though there are still places in this house that need some work (just like me!), things are functioning so much sweeter around here.

I'm not telling y'all to clean your house. But I think it's okay to do something for yourself to get your sanity back. The world is a better place when our brains can function again.

But check back with me in a week.
We start home school again tomorrow and then WHO KNOWS where my sanity will be!!

KC