Wednesday, October 19, 2016

5 best things about fall

Ok. One of my bestie girlfriends tells me that I should write lists once in a while because she's a sucker for them. And so am I!! So let's hope more of you all are suckers just like us...

I chose to write about the 5 things I like about this season because, unlike many if you, I don't actually care for the fall. It's definitely in competition for my least favorite season... However, I try to look for the good in everything, so that's what I did with this list: 

1. Rain boots. I dislike rain, but I love rain boots. And even if it's just a little bit cloudy, I'm gonna wear them because rain boots are so fun! I know it's probably some kind of fashion faux pas to wear them as much as I do, but I don't really let fashion faux pas' stand in my way.  Never have. Never will. Shucks, I don't even know what faux pas means - I'm lucky I even figured out how to spell it! And if you're shopping: I'm partial to polka dotted rain boots. 😉
(I won't stop a single one of you from buying these for me. I wear a size 9.)

2. The fireplace. Okay, not the fireplace because ours is ugly, surrounded by white tile, no mantle, and puts out very little heat. So let's change that to the ambiance of the fireplace. There's a little flame in there, putting off just enough warmth to feel useful, and creating enough flickering light to make the room feel cozy. With the first rain of the season comes the annual text/call to Scott to make sure the flue is open before we light 'er up! 

3. Blankets. I am a blanket fiend. Quilted, furry, soft, big or lap-sized, afghan, cartoon characters, heavy, lightweight...I'm truly not biased when it comes to blankets. I love blankets of all sizes, shapes, colors, and textures. And I'll even share my blanket, unless you try to play some footsie game with me. That is not my bag. Then you can find your own blanket...
(I'm pretty sure I need this blanket, but I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than 45 minutes to learn how to do it.) 


4. Pumpkin spiced...just kidding! Once I got sick after eating pumpkin-flavored fudge. It wasn't the fudge's fault, I'm sure, but the relationship was created and now I can't eat pumpkin spiced anything, except pie. However, in order to make this #4 a legit part of the list: Salted Caramel Mocha Frap from Starbucks. I rarely get the sugar-filled drink, but I'll admit that I splurge every great once in a while during this time of year because I love a good sweet/salty combo. Mmmmm-hmmmm!!
(If you need to know my address for delivery, just text me.)


5. Perspective shift. It always happens as we are on our way to Thanksgiving. Life turns from the focus of getting itself together with the start of school, to calming down and focusing on the people and other blessings God has given us. I'll admit, I'm still in the crazy stage of school happening, but as we get closer to a few breaks in our schedule and we can breathe a bit more, we start to appreciate each other and our time together a whole lot more. Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays for my family: we eat, we hang out with those closest to us, and we set aside the entire day for playing games! 

What about you? 
Why do you like this fall season?

KC

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Our daughter is persistent. She's that squeaky wheel, trying to get the oil.
Only the squeaking is more than annoying; it's grating, and never, ever, stops. It's like the car alarm going off somewhere forever and you wonder, "Where in the word is the owner of that stupid car?! I'm going insane over here!!"
Yeah, it's more like that.

I've got to give her props for her persistence. That has the potential to be an amazing asset in her life! But right now, it's the very opposite of an asset in the house...

The other day, she was in tears, asking once again for something we've told her no to 465 times. (That's an accurate number, by the way; I've been keeping track). We've given reasons. We have validated our answer. She has agreed with our responses. She seems to be on our page with our decision. And yet, the request re-surfaces every week at least once. Sometimes 26 times...

So this particular time, I turned it into one of my illustrations as she sat sniffling post-crying to our consistent response of "For Pete's sake: NO!" 

I reminded her that sometimes in life the answer will be "no." God doesn't always say "yes." Sometimes He says "wait," and sometimes He says, "no."  It might not be fair, it might not be what we want, but we have to trust that when God says "no," it's for our best. 

Of course I want to make my kids happy, but saying yes to all they ask for would be to the detriment of their future. I would be doing them a great disservice if I let them believe that life will always make them happy and always give them what they want.

As it is with God.
I might not always understand why He says, "no," but I trust Him. I trust that He's got it all figured out a whole lot better than I do. He is God, after all...

KC

Thursday, October 13, 2016

humility

Speaking of forgiveness...

(If you read the latest post, then you know that I've been speaking on forgiveness. If not, then, um, well: I've been speaking on forgiveness. Now you are up to speed!)

I've got an 8-year old son that I am homeschooling. I'm not looking for a diagnosis here, folks, but he loses focus easily and "squirrels!!" on a regular basis. Doing a math facts or language arts worksheets with him is the ultimate test of my patience. He's good at it all, for the most part, but he's just not quick. Or efficient. Or neat. Not to label him, but I'm gonna label him: he's an 8-year-old boy. 

Combine this 8-year-old boy student of mine with a pre-teen, strong-willed, flair-for-the-dramatic 11-year-old girl student of mine, and you have a recipe for explosions from me, a teacher who doesn't like to sit still but likes to be accomplishing all the things at once. 

*sigh* (of mental exhaustion)

At times, my nerves get a little frazzled. That frazzling translates into snappy comments directed at my son who is just doing his thing in his own way. The look on his face when I snap at him...augh. He is broken-hearted and near tears as he continues on with his schoolwork. 

People, this is a make-or-break moment in parenting. Do I let my pride get in the way and stand tall in my righteous irritation and firmness? Nah, I can't do that without creating a chasm that might someday become too deep to cross. 

Instead I usually grab that boy and hold him, or get down on his level and look him in the eye and I apologize. "I'm sorry, buddy. It was wrong of me to snap at you like that. You didn't deserve it and I should have had more patience with you. Can you forgive me?" 

His lanky arms wrap around my neck and he pulls me close to him and shoves his face as close to me as he can and just loves on me. Chasm averted. 

There is no pride worth creating a separation from your children. Saying "I'm sorry" is difficult, but only the first few times. It gets easier the more you do it. Plus, the example that you are setting for your children is a great one. 

I don't know about you, but I would gladly give up my pride to have my child's lanky arms wrapped around my neck.  That's just about the best feeling in the world.

KC

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

parenting manuals

I think the hospital staff forgot to give me the parenting manual after I left with my firstborn child. Detailed instructions would have been nice! 

But nope: just handed me my kid, strapped in a car seat, and said, "Congratulations on entering the next stage of your life where you will truly understand stress to its fullest capacity as well as long-suffering days, sleepless nights, worry/anxiety/fear all rolled up into one, frustration galore, all enveloped in the craziest joy you have ever felt! Enjoy!"

Ok. Maybe they didn't say that last part. 
Maybe they only said Congratulations.
But they knew...they knew all the rest.

So where are the instructions on each personality trait and strength and weakness and character of each kiddo? 

One of my kiddos beckons me into her room on a regular basis after she should be asleep. Her guilt about something or another has kept her up for hours! And she can't live with it: she must tell me and get it off her chest! (I'm realizing that this is actually a good annoying thing. My kid can't keep her guilt from me! Not yet, anyway.)

So I listen to her admission of guilt, usually accompanied by tears, and as I listen, I'm trying to come up with an appropriate response. She has one particular incident that she comes back to every great once in a while. It haunts her that she didn't make the situation right when she could and now she can't at all. This one has been a toughie.

So we talked about it for a bit. 
I explained that guilt is not a bad thing. We have a conscience for a reason: to help us make good decisions. And guilt comes up when we've made a bad decision. It pokes us and prods us until we decide that we need to make the situation right. In this particular incident, we couldn't make it right with the person so we had to go to the higher power. 

We chatted about asking God for forgiveness. He can heal it all. And He is not a God who desires that we live in guilt. He is a God who wants us to live in gratitude for His forgiveness. I'd much rather live a life of gratitude than live under the heaviness of guilt. 

My girl prayed for forgiveness and then we talked about how any feelings of guilt that might come up after that prayer are not from the Holy Spirit, but from the devil trying to tell her that she's not forgiven, that God could never forgive her, but the devil is a stinkin liar!

We've also discussed many times that when we are sorry for what we've done, true repentance means that we will try very not to do it again. Which, try as we might, we are often repeat offenders. But the amazing thing is that God has unlimited forgiveness.

These lessons that I teach my children: 80%.... nah, 95% of the time God is indirectly (and sometimes directly!) teaching me too. Forgiving myself is difficult. But if I bring it to God, I have to learn to leave it there. 

Oh! And, I was wrong at the beginning of this post. I do have a manual. 
If I delve in often enough and deep enough, God's word has always had an answer for what struggles I have as a mom. He knew what He was doing when He put together the Bible: best parenting manual ever.

KC

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

don't and never

I've written much about my amazing strong-willed girl on this blog. She's a life-changer, I'm tellin' you. That personality, her determination, has brought many tears and grumblings under my breath and a few not-so-quiet grumblings. But I've also seen so many beautiful things from this girl that just make my entire being smile as I witness her being her.

My dear mommas and daddys: your children, each of them, no matter what type of personality they have, each kiddo is an incredible part of who you can be or are already becoming. I am so very far from perfect and far, far, far away from being great. I've got flaws and weaknesses all over the stinkin' place. But I'll tell you what: I like myself a whole lot better post-Jayne and post-Lincoln than I did before they were born. 

I am who God created me to be, but He sent those two to shape me and mold me into something even more. 

I throw up my hands frequently.
I send texts to my husband on a regular basis saying the things I'd like to say to the kids, but can't because my frustrated words could ruin them so I send them to Scott because he takes them and reads them with grace and understanding.
I yell "AUGH!" through my gritted teeth every. single. day. (Multiple times.)
I make angry faces at my kids when they aren't looking. 
"Fine! Do it your way!" comes out of my mouth more than it should.
Sometimes I give in.
Sometimes I give up and go to my room.

But.

I never give up hope.
I never give up hoping that maybe something I'm doing or saying is sinking in.
I never give up hope that my efforts are not in vain.
I never give up hope and quit trying all together.
I never give up hope that these kids' future are secured in God's hands.

And
I never stop trying.
I pick myself back up and try again.
I wake up the next morning determined to affect my children's lives.
I return from defeat over and over again and push through to reach my kids' hearts.
I keep educating myself, trying new things, getting more advice, and I keep trying.

Mommys.
Daddys.
Don't give up hope.
Never stop trying.

Fruit is coming.
And it's because of you.

KC

Monday, October 10, 2016

the virtue of baseball

Goodness, I wish this game would just end so that I could write without the distraction!

A lot of people think baseball is a boring sport. Yeah, sometimes it is. But the crazy thing about baseball is that the game can change in an instant! I mean tonight is a perfect example of it! Most of the game belonged to the Cubs till they approached the 9th inning. GAME CHANGED!! And here we sit in the 13th inning, waiting for the next exciting play to finish off the game. And when that exciting play comes, fans are gonna go CRAZYSAUCE!!! Because honestly, the anticipation is killing each of us who is watching the game. I'm not even a Cubs fan or Giants fan and I'M anxious!!

(Look, Honey, I'm doing a sports analogy - aren't you proud?! Here it comes...)

Our 2 kids live in a world of "I want this and I want it right now!" Not because they are spoiled or because that's is a regular occurrence around this house. But that is how the world around us is working these days. You want something? Run out and get it. Or, order it through Amazon Prime real quick. It'll get here tomorrow. TV show? Instantly streamed through Netflix or Hulu or whatever. Snack? Microwave it. Something to keep them occupied? iPad/iPod/iWhatever. Want to hear a particular song? iTunes. (People, when I was a teen, I would wait days, and I mean DAYS, for a song to come on the radio with the hopes that I might be quick enough to hit the "record" and "play" buttons at the same time and record most of it on the waiting cassette tape. #thestruggleWASreal.)

So you know what my hubs and I do to combat this? We make intentional choices to make our kids wait for things. From purchasing things they really, really want, to going special places. Even if they have their own money, we will still make them wait till we are ready for them to purchase. Our poor kids have waited months sometimes simply because we decided they needed to wait.

You know why?!

Because patience is a virtue. 
Patience is earned, not given.
Patience is necessary in life.
And the reward of patience is so much sweeter than that of instant gratification. 

Baseball is truly an example of that. It's not constant excitement during the entire game. But those moments of excitement are crucial to the outcome of the game and an ending like tonight's totally makes it worth all 5.5 hours. 
I know you Giants fans think so, anyway...😉

KC




Sunday, October 9, 2016

battles

I have come to the realization that no matter how old I get, I will always have some sort of battle going on within me. It's unavoidable.

- I'm a horrible mom. But I'm going to be a mom for the rest of my life so I'll probably always feel that way. Even when my kids are parents, I'm still going to fighting regret and figuring out how to parent my kids who don't want to be parented anymore.

- I'd like to say that I'm super duper confident in myself and that I never, ever compare myself to other woman, ever. But that'd be lying. So I won't say that.

- And I wish I could pretend to have it all together. I can't even pretend!!! If, at any point in time, you look at social media and see me having it "all together," you should probably make sure you're looking at the right person's page.

- I struggle with being a good friend. 
- I suck at cleaning the house.
- I can't grow a good vegetable garden to save my life! For reals: if my family needed to survive off of my gardening skills to date, we'd be eating basil and parsley. 
- I'm seriously lacking self-discipline in pretty much every area of my life that doesn't depend on me for survival. Sure, I feed the family regularly and make sure everyone is clothed and I don't run out of gas in my truck, but I can't seem to exercise regularly or avoid sugar or get my 45 projects completed...

And this list goes on for a long time, people. Being a people-pleaser doesn't help this either.

So then I guess I have to stop trying to figure out how to get rid of my battles, and simply learn how to live in the midst of them.

With grace.

I hate being a failure and even more so: I hate being a disappointment. But that is who I am. Because I am a human with free will. I have been given this gift of free will so that I can make stupid choices and live with the consequences.

But then there is grace. The battles are always going to rage within me, but if I can view them with the perspective of grace, I'll survive every battle. I don't have to be perfect. Grace has me covered on all fronts. 

KC




Monday, October 3, 2016

for a purpose

You were created, by God, for a purpose.

I just needed you to know that.

I'm sure your plate is full. You are probably just as exhausted as I am. Maybe you are running around in circles these days, just functioning. And maybe the future doesn't look so bright. It'd be nice to know that somewhere in there, your life has a purpose.

Well, the good news is: it does!!

Sometimes your purpose is right in front of your face, completely obvious: today I saw my kiddo make responsible choices without me prompting her to (and it was more than just putting her dishes in the dishwasher!) I am raising a responsible member of society!! I taught piano lessons and am giving the gift of music (which is one of life's greatest therapies) to a bunch of great kids! PURPOSE!!!

And other times, it's like washing the dishes over and over and over again: where's the purpose in that?! (Although in my house, my husband washes a lot of dishes and although he might not realize it, he is serving a HUGE purpose in my life!) 

Maybe you go to work and pay bills and take care of the family and do it all over again day after day. Or maybe life feels like just a bunch of failures. I don't know where you're coming from but I remain sure in this: there is a purpose for your life.

Maybe you don't know it, but you already are a blessing to someone you see on a daily basis. Or maybe someone is watching you parent your children and you are an example to them. You might not ever know the purpose you have served in someone else's life, but you have and are and will.

You were created, by God, with a purpose.
So walk around with confidence because that makes you something special.

KC