Saturday, December 24, 2016

today is Christmas!

My kids are asleep next to the fake, overly decorated Christmas tree in our loft. With all of the excitement that they were exuding before they fell asleep, I was sure that it'd be hours before they would be out. TOMORROW IS THE MOST EXCITING DAY OF THE YEAR, AFTERALL!!

As I watch my kids get antsy to open gifts on Christmas Eve at Grandma's house and the expressions on their face as they open each specially thought-out gift, I can feel their excitement radiate through them and bring back memories of my own excitement as a kid.

Over the years, the excitement has gotten lost among the responsibilities and work and exhaustion that comes with being an adult. (I don't blame my kids for saying they never want to grow up - Peter Pan might have had the right idea!) It's tough to look past all the effort that is put into Christmas Day and to see all the work that'll come after the big day is over. 

So I decided that I'm going to join my kids by the tree to sleep tonight (but the Christmas music they fell asleep to has to go - I cannot fall asleep to Sleigh Ride!) and I'm going to wake up with them in the morning and fuel my excitement from their own. I miss feeling like a kid with no worries or cares about next week, tomorrow, or even what's going on later on that day!

I know my husband got me a few awesome gifts this year - he's good at that. And my kids even wrapped a couple things for me! But I'm thinking the best gift is going to be spending the day how Jesus would want me to spend his birthday - relaxing and enjoying the day for what it is. Not stressing about the laundry that needs to be completed or the clean up that needs to happen next week or the homeschooling and piano lessons that start shortly after that (starting to hyperventilate already, people!) 

Tomorrow is Sunday, the day God gifted us for guilt-free resting. That's the best gift ever. 

I hope you each wake up with a stirring in your soul, an unexplainable excitement, just like my kids. Because it's Christmas, people. IT'S CHRISTMAS!!

Go have a merry and bright day, my friends!! ❤️šŸ’š

KC 

Monday, December 19, 2016

I am not that mom

There's nothing like a holiday to make you feel like a failure as mom these days. 

Let's just look at Christmas:

I don't have an elf that sits on a shelf or whatever creative place I can think of.
I don't remember to get gifts for all the special teachers in my kids' lives.
Only half the decorations got put up this year.
Our gingerbread houses came from a kit from CVS.
We told our kids from the beginning of their ability to understand that Santa wasn't real. 
I've spent nearly 0 hours in Pinterest researching cool and creative holiday traditions and activities.
My Christmas cards are still in the box (I keep handing them out to people I see knowing that means one less card to mail).
There are approximately 25 ornaments sitting under the tree because they fell off and I haven't put them back up yet.
I let my kids go caroling with our wonderful neighbors instead of going along because I was busy (but mostly because I dislike being cold). 
We don't have matching Christmas outfits for church on Sunday (although we do all have Christmas socks - can I have a point for that?!)
And again - I have yet to consult Pinterest for games and party ideas...or anything Christmas, for that matter! 

All you moms who can do all that, you astound and amaze me!
My poor kids will never have a mom like that.
And that's okay.

There is a part of me that wants to uphold this image to my children, especially my daughter, that I'm incredible and someone whom they should hold in awestruck wonderment. I want them to believe that I can do all things with one hand tied behind my back, all while watching them with the special set of eyes that God put in the back of my head.

But then there is the part of me that wants my kids to understand that I am not perfect, no one is perfect. And I don't expect them to be perfect either.

Because maybe, just maybe, if I humble myself enough, those kids of mine will talk to me about their failures and imperfections and short comings, because I can relate. "If Mom has struggles and cannot do it all, then maybe I don't have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders either."

I'm okay with not being perfect in my children's eyes because hopefully through my shortcomings they're learning a valuable lesson in humility and grace.

And maybe, just maybe, they won't feel the need to freak their kids out with an elf on the shelf either. šŸ˜‰

KC

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Christmas, for reals

Okay, I'm gonna get real with you all. This isn't a new thing for me; I'm usually very real when I write, mostly because I want all of you who struggle with your imperfections to know that you're not alone in that struggle.

But today's "real" is a lot harder for me to write. Maybe because I'm afraid you all with think I'm a party-pooper or that you'll misunderstand my emotions. But none of that has stopped me before, so here goes:

Christmastime is hard for me. It feels like work and that feeling sometimes robs my enjoyment of it all. I've been watching Christmas With the Kranks and I think they might be on to something there....

Now before I get too far, let me just say that there are a ton of things that give me joy during this time (which makes all the effort and "work" worth it.) I get to see nieces and nephews who come home from college. I get to create and participate in traditions that my kids will remember for the rest of their lives. I get the opportunity to bless others and am constantly blessed by other people's thoughtfulness. I get to spend time with my siblings and their families...gosh, I love my family! Christmas music, kids' anticipation, food, food, food! And the numerous quiet moments of reflecting on an amazing Christmas gift - Jesus.  All. Good. Things!

Now some of you have been blessed with the gift of super organization and others with the gift of maximum cleanliness through the holidays. I'm sure there are bunches of you that maintain a Christmas budget like a champ! And then there's me: Super Optimistic Girl who constantly fights the battle of Reality! 

Reality for me is that I'm a busy mom, trying to maintain my sanity on a regular basis as it is. Throw in the responsibility of redecorating the house for the season (I'd love to say my kids are great helpers, but when they get done it kinda just looks like Christmas threw up downstairs), purchasing just the right gifts that are thoughtful, on a budget, getting the Christmas cards created and mailed out BEFORE Christmas (just picked them up today so we'll see how many addresses are actually still in my phone), decorating the gingerbread houses (people, I had to use a blow dryer to make the frosting dry quicker so the blasted house didn't slide apart!), wrapping all the gifts, baking and cooking all the delicious food, and the list goes on and on....

Now, I look at that list and think it's probably all manageable, but add to it all the emotions that come with this holiday: trying to teach my children to focus on the giving side more than the receiving side (hahahaha, impossible!) and reminding them of the true reason why we celebrate Christmas, missing my Dad and now my Father-in-law (that hole never fills up), and searching for my own joy among the busyness.

So yeah, Christmas is hard.

I wouldn't want Christmas to disappear. Good things are worth the time, effort, and the exhaustion. 

But I'll tell you what I like better than Christmas: the Christmas afterglow.

So for those of you who love this time of year: keep loving it and spreading that happiness around. Smile a lot! Sing loud for all to hear! Do all the Christmas things! We need your spirit!

And for those of you who feel overwhelmed by it all: you're not alone.

But here is your hope: the afterglow. That time when you get to sit back on the couch in your slippers and enjoy your coffee while the kids (husband) play with their new toys in front of the lights twinkling on the tree while Michael Bubke croons his Christmas tunes in the background.

But seriously, people, I think I'm gonna start purchasing Christmas gifts in January! Get that Christmas shopping done before Valentine's Day!

Here's hoping you find those precious Christmas moments to enjoy among the craziness,
KC


Friday, December 16, 2016

utterly worth it

Tonight I'm sleeping on the couch.
Not because I'm mad at my husband.
But because I told the kids we could sleep in the family room by the Christmas tree.
I try to do this every year, and with one of my nieces here tonight, we're forcing our tradition on her too!

I don't sleep well on the couch. I usually end up tired and with an ache in my neck. One of the cats usually ends up half on my leg and I feel like I can't move around because I don't want to disturb her (I know that sounds ridiculous...its just the way I roll in the middle of the night.) 

I know the kids are fine to sleep down here by themselves. They've done it before. I could sleep in my bed in peace and not deal with children or pets. In a pitch black room. In peace and quiet...did I mention peace? 

But you know what? When my kids are in their 20's, they'll remember how I used to have a slumber party with them each Christmas, sleeping by the light of the Christmas tree. Someday they will appreciate the memories we made together, even if I have to whisper-yell at them to be quiet and to get. to. sleep!! 

(Ohmygoodness, the current giggling situation might send me over the edge!)

So if you see me tomorrow and I'm walking with my neck all cock-eyed and huge bags under my eyes, you can feel free to remind me that it is all worth it, and that I will never regret the memories I make with my kids!

Please. 
Remind me.

KC

Thursday, December 15, 2016

JOY

"Joy to the world!"
Not "Happiness to the world!"

Because first of all, that just sounds dumb in the song. It doesn't flow!
And second of all, Jesus did not arrive here on earth to bring happiness.
(Although I'm sure there were times when happiness was a side affect of him being here. If I was cured of a gross disease or had my daughter raised from the dead, I'm sure happiness would be in there somewhere!)

Digging deeper...
Christ came to bring joy. 
That "down in your soul" joy. 
The "never goes away" joy.
The "surpasses all of life's garbage" joy.

Happiness comes from stuff and things and feelings and circumstances. And all those things have the potential to change.

Joy comes from the knowledge of a Savior who took my garbage away so that I have the most incredible gift: eternal life (which, I'm just sayin' sounds like it has the potential to be pretty stinking amazing. Imagine hanging with the God who can do anything. His imagination and creativity are limitless. LIMITLESS. Like a genie but a gazillion times better. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a more incredible gift.)

That knowledge creates joy.
Joy isn't just a feeling.
It's an understanding.
It's security. I am taken care of NO MATTER WHAT.
It is bigger than all the things that happiness bring.

JOY is the underlying calm in my soul.

So yeah: JOY to the world -  the LORD has come!
There has never been better news than that.
Amen?!
Amen.

KC

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

call them out

Tonight I had a discussion with one of my kiddos. 
Well, it wasn't really a discussion, it was more of a "talking to" punctuated with her "But I..." and "But, Mom..." and "whiiiiining" and "moooooannnning."
The child cannot help but interrupt me. 

Augh! and *sigh*

So a typical "discussion" in this house with one of our kids starts out with a bit of lecturing. Because you know what? I am in charge. I am the boss! AND YOU WILL HEAR ME!! 

But it promptly turns to questioning. I ask the kids questions about what they did and how it made others feel and if they handled it correctly or kindly or of there was a better way and WWJD (yes, it is still a legit question .) This makes them do the thinking. This gets them involved instead of them tuning me out during a lecture. Why should I do all the work, just to be ignored? Nah, kid - you are going to do the thinking and feeling and understanding. Lecture yo-self!

And somewhere in there, I always do this. (This was a lightbulb that went on in my head a few years back when my eldest and I were going round and round and round and frustratingly round in a "discussion.") I call them out. I straight up call a sin a sin. I tell them that they were wrong. 

You disobeyed your parents - that's wrong.
You used violence when you hurt your sibling - that's wrong.
You talked back to me, disrespectful - that's wrong.
You lied to me - that's wrong.
You didn't do what I asked you to do 10 times - that's wrong.
You were sneaky - that's wrong.

When you paint the picture clearly for them, there's little room for "discussion." Typically, when I pull the "you're wrong" card, my children get quiet, and an apology follows shortly. Sometimes stubbornness gets in the way. But more often than not, putting that sharp realization of "wrong" in front of them gives them little room to refute. 

I know that it seems harsh, but isn't sin a harsh thing? Shouldn't it remain that way? Shouldn't wrong-doings still have some shock value to them? 

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned or conservative or whatever label you want to put on me, but when it comes to my children whom I love indescribably, I'm going to point out the wrongs, no pulling punches, so that they see and feel a definite difference in their consciences about what is right and what is wrong.

Now, if I could only get them to stop pointing out when I'm wrong...
KC

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

give yourself a freaking break!

Last night a dear friend reminded me of something that we moms need to hear more often. 
(This is why I value my friendships with my gals: they often remind me that I'm not alone in my mom/wife/woman struggles. Praise Jesus (and Hallelujah!) that he gave us those incredible relationships!)

Ok, back to what we moms need to hear:
We are too stinkin' hard on ourselves!

For reals, gals, we can't give ourselves a break!
It doesn't matter if we are stay-at-home moms, part-time or work-at-home moms, employed full-time moms, or the crazy mom who homeschools her children because she can't get enough of the annoying things her children do. šŸ˜³ We are always going to think that we are not doing enough or that we are doing it all wrong.

I don't know about you (although I could probably guess), but I second guess myself on a pretty regular basis. As a matter of fact, I live in a heightened awareness of "screwing up my children" pretty much all day long. I'm kinda used to it, but not in the way where I'm totally okay with it and myself and with what I'm doing. More like in the way of questioning myself all day long - it's a lifestyle. 

Here's the deal, moms. We really need to quit comparing ourselves to the other "perfect" moms out there. (Look! I used quotations marks around "perfect." Wanna know why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!) We are each called according to the purpose that God has is set aside for. Each of us has been called to momhood differently. There is no cookie cutter mom that we should all strive to be like. 

I'm thinking we all need to step back and rest comfortably in the knowledge that God has got this. He's directing each one of us according to His purpose: in our jobs, in our relationships, and in our mommying. When we are listening to His call, there's peace, not guilt. 

So relax, momma, and remember: you're not doing this all by yourself. ❤️

KC

Monday, December 12, 2016

be embarrassing, be embarrassed

My kids have to endure all the embarrassing things from my husband and me. We go out of our way to make sure that they experience all the eye-rolling and head shaking opportunities that we can offer them. It's our right as parents. WE HAVE EARNED THAT RIGHT, for Pete's sake!

I'm a big fan of making a goofy fool of myself in front of and with my kids. I sing at the top of my lungs when we're in the truck. I dance in the kitchen while I cook (shoot, I dance anywhere, even in the truck while we're driving around!) I say ridiculous things to their friends and crack jokes that only I think are funny (and I laugh too, even if I am the only one! ...which I usually am.) I'm sure it you asked my kids, they could list 45 other embarrassing things that I've done to traumatize them.

But you know what? With all that, I've managed to create a very open relationship with my kids. Through my unabashed goofiness and my willingness to talk about pretty much anything with my kids, it has been established that those two kiddos of mine can approach me to talk about anything that's on their mind.

Parents, if there is one piece of advice I can give you, it's this: don't be so prideful that you close all doors of communication with your kids. (That's tonight's advice, anyway. It could be different advice next week!) It's hard and it's embarrassing and humiliating, but all of that is worth it to have communication with your kids.

I've been having open conversations since my kids were old enough to understand me. We've talked about drugs, smoking, sex, homosexuality, racism, God, the devil, and a myriad of other subjects that my kids are being exposed to at young ages. (Don't worry, I am very clear to my children about which subjects should not get discussed with other children!) 

There are some tough subjects to talk about with our kids these days. But if we don't get out of our own way to talk about the embarrassing things, someone else probably will and we might not like what they have to tell our kids. 

So here's my challenge to you: find that subject you've been avoiding talking about with your kid. Pray about it, rehearse what you want to say (I do that all the time!) and then intentionally find a time to bring it up and discuss with them. Open doors. You never know when you'll be glad that you did...

KC 

Sunday, December 11, 2016

waging a battle

It was a rough morning for our oldest child.
Which meant it was an extremely rough morning for us all. 
*sigh*

After her storm of lightning and thunder (it was bordering on being a hurricane, folks) passed, she was quiet for a bit. (Here's where the hours upon hours of intentional conversations and speaking truth and wisdom into her life are starting to bear fruit. I'm telling you, that hard work pays off!) During the quiet, she was thinking. And after the thinking for a while she said, "You're not ready for an apology yet, are you, Mom?"

(She knows that an apology, spoken at the height of my frustration will not fix anything. If there is no thought or remorse, I will not hear it.)

So she waited a little longer before speaking. And then she launched into an incredible apology. Ultimately, she told me that she doesn't know why she does what she does. She knows how she is acting isn't right but she struggles to change it. (*The incredible part is that she told me that she knew there a lot of her friends that respected me and also a lot of other people in my life who respected me, but she told me that she was my biggest fan. Come on, people!)

After she told me of her struggle of choosing right, I gave her the reason why.

There is a battle for our children's souls on a daily basis. I've prayed for their little souls as they face great big battles. But today, I handed a little more power to my girl. (When you understand the battle, then you can combat it better.) I explained that the devil is constantly at work, trying to convince her to make bad decisions. He wants her soul! But I also told her she doesn't have to fight alone. Jesus wants her soul as well and will help her and fight beside her to win.

She's no different from me. I've got a war raging inside for my soul as well. We all do.
So let's call it what it is: a battle, and then let's fight.

KC

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

fresh

(Okay, so when you work really hard on something and it's flowing and has great inspiration and you save it thus far and the app poops out on you and you discover it didn't save at all, that's one of two things. Either 1: you really shouldn't be writing it in the first place, OR 2: the devil doesn't want you to write it and by golly, you are NOT going to let him win! AUGH! I will NOT let him win!! ...or maybe I just shouldn't be writing it: y'all can be the judge.)



So you know night time, when you sit back and reflect on how amazing your day was and how you handled all things with confidence and wisdom and maturity, and how things went smoothly as the family all hugged and loved on each other in perfect harmony while kind and encouraging words were spoken to one another?

Yeah, me neither.

Night time: when my exhausted brain hits the pillow and I think of all the words that I shouldn't have said and of all the yelling and arguing that took place along with the frustrated sighs and all my failures light up like neon signs in my mind while my shortcomings roll through like a train and the things that I didn't accomplish loom over me like a ginormous rain cloud.

That might be a little more accurate for what really happens to me. Although I'll admit, sometimes that scenario drags me out of sleep at 3:00 in the morning, plaguing me for an hour before letting my messy head go back to sleep.

You know what my best combat for all that garbage is? It's a simple little phrase that I've been telling myself for years. And I tell it to my gal friends and they tell it to me when they know I need to hear it. It's a little phrase that offers hope after a frustrating day. It helps me fall asleep knowing that I'll wake up ready to get up and face the day....well mostly: I'm a pretty big fan of the soft blanket I sleep under so getting out from under that is actually my biggest hurdle in the morning. It's super fuzzy and warm and cozy...

But that phrase! (Sorry - I get sidetracked. If you've known me for at least 15 minutes, it's apparent.)

Here's that phrase:

Tomorrow is a new day!

Tomorrow
Is
A
New
Day.

All the malarkey and trash from today is left with today. Tomorrow is full of new potential. Tomorrow is full of hope! Tomorrow is fresh. It is different. An opportunity to do things differently. To set failures aside and try, try again. Tomorrow is a new day.

My today was rough. For a variety of reasons: big and small. Tomorrow, some of those things will probably still be there, but I will face them head-on with determination and hope. And I'm probably still gonna fail, but that's okay because each day is followed by a new tomorrow.

So people: sleep well tonight!
Tomorrow is a fresh day. 

KC

Sunday, December 4, 2016

smilin'

One of my uncles had a conversation with me a while back that made me smile. We had been chatting about my schedule and how crazy busy I tend to keep myself and how many different things I've got on my very full plate. He looked at me and said, "...and here you are, still smiling."

So maybe my smile is a bit like the Mad Hatter's: crazy and wild-eyed, but it stems from something much deeper than all that's going on in life. And it's genuine.

That smile that symbolizes my outlook on life, it comes not from finding perfection, but contentment. 

I don't have it all. 
My life isn't perfect. 
There are battles and struggles daily. 
And some days life chews me up and spits me out.

But.
I am content.

Why?
Because I have realized that there is no greater satisfaction to be found than to give of myself. 
To those I love.
To my family.
To my friends.
To strangers.
And even to people who have irritated/frustrated/upset me...(although I'll admit I'm not so good at giving to them.)

And by "give" I don't just mean "stuff and things." 
I mean give my time, my effort, my abilities, my ears to listen, and my heart.
There is so much more that we can give besides "stuff."

When I was a kiddo at Christmas time, I would never have imagined myself saying this and believing it but: it is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35. WAY more blessed. 

Try it. 
Little by little: give.
It'll become a habit.
And then: BOOM! 
Contentment starts to sneak in.

KC

Thursday, December 1, 2016

me, not you

Ya wanna know something interesting?
Of course you do. You're reading my blog and it's almost always interesting because you never know what's gonna come out of my mouth...er...fingers...uh...brain. 
Whatever. 
You get it.

I've been thinking. (Dangerous, I know.) 
I can't tell you how often I have heard people complain about the shortcomings or failures of another person or group of people. It seems as though all the struggles in this life are because of somebody else. It's so easy to point out what someone else should do to be a better person. Criticism comes quickly to our lips.

But what if, I mean would it be so terrible, what would be so wrong about turning the critical finger back on ourselves? Seriously: what if we stop telling other people how to be better people and started becoming better people ourselves?! 

When we put expectations on other people to meet our standard, there's a pretty good chance they're not going to meet it. We're gonna be disappointed. 

But, what if we took the focus off of them and put it on ourselves?

Let me give you one example: 
What if, instead of getting all frustrated and irritated with the extremely slow clerk at the grocery store, we used the situation as an opportunity to practice our patience (it is a virtue, people) and to show some kindness through an encouraging word to the clerk (because blessed are the merciful AND the peacemakers, eh?) 

What would that do? Maybe help make the world a better place?! Maybe, instead of trying to change everyone else, we start with ourselves. 

Maybe, just maybe, we make a bigger difference pointing the finger at ourselves.

KCšŸ‘ˆšŸ»