Monday, December 29, 2014

no new year's resolutions for me

So before we jump into 2015, I'm going to admit something to you: I don't do resolutions. 

You know why? Because I ALWAYS fail!!

So instead of resolutions one time a year, I set goals throughout the entire year. And I don't wait until the start of a new year to make changes and to try to achieve my goals. I start as soon as I realize them.

Want to eat healthier foods? Start today. And if you stick with it for 2 weeks and then fail, guess what?! You aren't done; you just pick up where you left off and try again.

Do you want to stop yelling at the kids? Make that your goal and figure out different habits for dealing with the stinkers. And if you yell at them, give yourself the grace to know that you are trying. Don't give up; try again tomorrow (or 15 minutes later in the day when you feel like yelling at them AGAIN!)

Trying to be more optimistic? Sure, you're still going to have a horrible day once in a while, but that doesn't mean every day has to be labeled with negativity. Start tomorrow with a smile.

Perhaps the biggest one is exercise. This can be a difficult habit to get into. It took me years! But my biggest struggle was getting excuses out of my way and finding motivation. Well I found my motivation once I started being consistent in my exercising habits: more energy, strength, and a body that is no longer going downhill. And my biggest excuse killer: "doing something is better than doing nothing at all." Just used that on myself this morning! 

Most of my changes have come from mentally setting goals and then trying my hardest to stick with them. 

I hated flossing my teeth. Sounds silly, I know, but I struggled to get in the habit. But once I started doing it consistently for a couple months, I realized that I cannot stand to go without flossing in the morning. 

I've been exercising consistently for almost 2 years. I got sick a month or so ago and took a week off which turned into 2 and then 3 weeks. The idea of going back to a life of no exercise was killing me so I've been kicking myself out of bed in the morning and making my way to our gym to get a workout in. Feels so good...when I'm done!

A few years back, we decided to eliminate our credit card debt. We created a budget and are quite consistent with it, but it took time and discipline to make it work, both of which are struggles for me. AND THEN we went almost completely to cash-only spending. Wowsers... 

So no more resolutions for me. Just goals for life accompanied by heavy doses of grace, when needed.

Happy last couple of days of 2014!!

KC
 

Sunday, December 28, 2014

the light that comes from perspective

I don't know about you, but there have been times in my life when it seemed as though there might not be a light at the end of the tunnel. It is dark where you are and every day seems like a struggle. All hope has faded. And you don't feel like fighting in the struggle anymore. You are ready to give up on the relationship, or the dream, or you just want to run away from the hurt or the pain. 

But I have learned a lot in the midst of struggle. Perhaps the greatest thing has been perspective. When I have been completely down or struggling to see the bright side in anything, that is when I lean the heaviest on God. I pretty much look at Him and tell Him, "I can't do this anymore. You take over." And that is when He gives me perspective. 

Perspective doesn't mean that everything is fixed, all my problems are solved and that I can get on with a happy-go-lucky life.

Perspective means that He has given me a new way to look at my situation. Sometimes I can see life in a more positive light. Sometimes I just see it with a different or deeper understanding. Sometimes it is a feeling of resigning myself to the situation and not fighting it anymore because I know He's got it under control.

Whatever it is that God teaches me at my lowest of lows, I tuck it in my heart and in my mind and it becomes a nugget of wisdom for my future. 

Perspective: when my kids are driving me to the cliffs of insanity, I remember that they are imperfect beings and just like God shows me patience and grace (because I often act like a child), I need to show the same to them.

Perspective: when my goals and dreams aren't going according to my plans, I remind myself that His plans are bigger, better, and probably a little more organized than my ways! So I have to step out of the way and let Him do His thing. (This is also probably one of His tricky ways to teach me patience!)

Perspective: when I feel overwhelmed and stressed, He is my constant reminder: breathe, slow down, focus on the important things, enjoy the moments, and reminding me that it's okay to say, "no."

Perspective: when my husband and I are not being the best of friends (which rarely happens because we have the most perfect relationship 😉 - yes, looking for brownie points here!) and I don't have the desire to be his friend, I am reminded that we made a commitment before God (and with God's help) to stay together and work through everything. And although sometimes it takes a little while before I'm ready to be his friend again (often just as much my fault as his), we always come back together and solve our issues. Hence: the most perfect relationship...mostly! 😊

Perspective: God won't leave me in a pit forever.
Perspective: God is always with me.
Perspective: God loves me unconditionally.

That perspective that He gives when we are at our darkest is a gift, God's way of growing us and refining us. It hurts but is so necessary. 

And even though I complain all the way through it, I'm grateful that He gives me what I need, just when I need it.

KC



Saturday, December 27, 2014

surviving by the grace of God

Today I had a chance to chat with a gal a bit about my blog and it got me to thinking: if I had to explain why I write, what would the simple answer be? (I spent hours cleaning out my 9 year old daughter's room today; I had a LOT of time to think!) 

So here's what I came up with: life here on this earth as a Christian, wife, mom, and well, a woman is difficult. And even when it feels impossible, it is important to know that you are not alone in what you are going through. I've made it through a myriad of difficulties in my life this far and have survived all of them, but only by the grace of God. 

Hence the blog: surviving by the grace of God.

Being a mom is tough:
I found out 8 years ago that raising my adorable little girl was going to give me a run for my money! 
Oh. 
My. 
Goodness. She is amazing but has taught me a whole lot about an iron will, how to reach the heart, how to stand up for myself 😳, and how to see the amazingness in a strong-willed child. I've survived so far by the grace of God. Which gives me hope for the next 10 (or so) years!

Living with an emotional disorder is tough:
Years ago I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that sent me into panic attacks and made life very difficult. I wouldn't do anything adventurous. Took no risks. I was often nervous and my fears took over much of my life. But after years of my heart racing, sitting on the outside edge of every row, knowing where every exit was in every building, I survived it by the grace of God alone. 

Losing someone you love is tough:
About 7 years ago I lost my Dad to cancer. I watched him get sick and pass on to heaven in a matter of 9 months. I don't need to go into any details for you to understand how difficult that is to go through. I survived the devastation but only by the grace of God.

I would say that these were the 3 most difficult things I have been through...so far. But on the backside of every one of them, I have grown immensely. I am stronger and wiser and closer to God because of each one. And although each one was (and still is) difficult to go through, I am grateful for what I have learned from each experience.

So I write. To relate. 
And because this crazy life is surviveable by the grace of God. 
I'm proof.

KC


Thursday, December 25, 2014

unto you is given

Today is a gift to you. 
You were given the gift of a Savior today.
There is nothing else needed in this world.
There is nothing else that compares.
Tell the story.
Make a big deal out of this amazing gift.
Because Christmas is here to give you a gift of eternal life through an itty-bitty baby who saved your life.

Merry Christmas, my friends!

KC



Tuesday, December 23, 2014

deviating from the to-do list

As I sit in front of the Christmas tree reflecting back on today, it would be very easy for me to see all the things that I really waned to accomplish and to get frustrated at how little I actually got to cross off of my to-do list. Afterall, that to-do list practically governs my life. I have a schedule/routine of what needs to get done and the holidays have added a load to that list!

But honestly, despite what didn't get done, l loved today. Today was a good day.  The kitchen ended up twice as messy as what I originally planned. However, that mess what created by little hands who were busy at work making memories. We pulled out the gingerbread kits and made houses and villages today. Really sticky frosting was everywhere. Sprinkles and candy covered the houses and the table and the floor. 

My niece also joined in on the fun. (Or maybe she just came over to help me contain the chaos). She's home from college for such a short time so I try to hog her when I can. She made some yummy treats also, making the house smell of peanut butter and chocolate - a most delicious combination of calories! 😜 And you know that time spent together in the kitchen can be the most valuable time. 

So the house isn't spotless. The laundry will still be going tomorrow. The schoolroom is an absolute wreck. When I wasn't looking, somehow the kids' rooms got destroyed. I probably should have gone to the bank. And the grocery store. 

But I didn't. I'm glad I didn't.

When my kids get older, I'm certain they won't remember me as the cleanest, most organized and neatest mom. But I'm hoping they will remember me as the mom who took time away from everyday duties to sit with them and enjoy my time with them as we create lifetime memories together.  

From my youngest little guy, who is 6, to my oldest niece, who is 20, my moments with each is invaluable, both to me and to them. Time spent together developes strong relationships. I see how the time I have spent with my niece over the past 20 years has developed into a most amazing relationship and I know that it was time well spent. My goal is to have that with my own children as well.

So tomorrow I will continue on with my to-do list, but I have a feeling that there might be a few interruptions; important interruptions. And I will embrace them.

KC

Monday, December 22, 2014

He loves me anyway

I didn't get Christmas cards out this year. It's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last. I really wanted to and two months ago I had every intention of getting pictures done and gorgeous cards created and getting them mailed out shortly after Thanksgiving. Yep - amazing intentions.

But, alas, no cards. 

You know, every once in a while God reminds me that I'm not perfect, that I'm far from it, and that's okay because otherwise I would have no need for Him. (Well, it's more like a daily reminder, or maybe 10x daily.) 

I am constantly falling short. Not just in something simple such as Christmas cards, but in being a wife and a mom and a friend. And especially in being a child of God.

Well, maybe I'm not quite failing at this child of God thing. He never asked me to be perfect. He never expected that of me. It was never a prerequisite in order to be His child. He looked at all that I was, good and bad, and all that I was going to be, good and bad, and claimed me as His own.

Lately my shortcomings have been staring me right in the face. I'm constantly seeing what I've done wrong and how I should have done something better. But the amazing thing is the underlying knowledge that God doesn't leave me when I fail. He's still right there with me. 

I found this quote on Pinterest:

I don't deserve that. The gratefulness that flows out of me for that is immeasurable. And what does a person do with such a big amount of gratefulness? I strive! Strive to do what it is that God would have me do. 

But here's the warning: I'm gonna fail again. I guarantee it. But just know that this imperfect gal is still striving.

KC

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

failing at momhood

There was something about today, as if today was intended to be a difficult day for mothers. I don't know what was in the air but I know I wasn't the only facing my limit of sanity with my kids today! I saw and spoke to 4 or 5 different moms today and witnessed their frustration with their kids who were driving them bonkers! 

I used to think that my kids made me upset or made me yell at them. It was their fault I was in a bad mood. I still often want to blame the naughty little stinkers for all the frustrations in my day. But when it comes down to the plain truth, my kiddos are just helping to expose my very own weaknesses. Yes, I raised my voice and was short with my kids today. I lost my patience more than once (ok, more than 4 times) with them today. Were they angels? No. Far from it! But I was by no means an angel in how I handled their behavior today either!

I've seen this phrase a few times and every time I do, I just want to raise my hands and say, "TRUTH!"
Every. Single. Day.

But let me tell you something that was shared with me many years ago and that I shared with a dear, dear friend today. 

When we look at our failures as moms and add up all things that we're messing up, we have to make sure we include God's grace in the equation. That grace goes a lot farther than you might think!

Goodness, mommies, we are trying our best to do right by these little gifts that God has given us the privelege to raise! And although perfection is a long, impossible way off, our hearts are in the right place, striving to go the right direction. I am convinced that God sees our heart, despite our failures. 

And I know He gives moms that extra measure of grace. You know how I know?

Because in my mind, I remember my mom being pretty much perfect at her job of momhood. But in her mind, I know she still reflects back on her failures and what she might have done differently. And that combination right there, my dear friends, is the result of grace.

And if you think you are all alone in this "failing at mommyhood" thing. Believe me, you're not! I am right there with you, along with a whole bunch of my mommy friends. 

So keep striving, moms! As long as you're seeking his will as a mom, God's got you convered.

KC

Sunday, December 14, 2014

the strength within

Over the past couple of years I've realized something about myself: I am strong. Not necessarily physically strong, but mentally and emotionally strong. And as a woman, that is an valuable thing to be.

When I was younger, I wasn't mentally or emotionally strong. I was extremely sensitive. I was very shy. I was plagued with fears, nervousness, and anxiety. That was a tough world to live in, especially through Jr. High and High School. Fortunately for me, God put some crucial people in my path so that I could survive amd eventually climb over many of those walls. 

Looking back nearly 20 years ago (oh my goodness...I feel so old right now) to when I was in high school, (no offense to those of you who have been out of high school longer than me, it was just a sudden reality check) I was a completely different person. But a lot can happen in a couple of decades.

Moving away from the security of home
A broken heart
Shattered self esteem
Severe anxiety
Sickness and death of people I love
Loss of friendship
Feeling like a failure
Sacrifice of self
And about 20 other very personal things that you don't want to hear about.

As I sit here and think through some of the most difficult times that I have experienced, I realize that God was moving in every single one. He never let me walk through a tough situation without teaching me a valuable lesson, the most important one being that I could make it to the other side of a tough situation!

I have had a few tough things thrown at me lately and wondered how I was surviving. In the past I would have wanted to crawl in bed and not look at life at all (because avoidance is the best way to handle real life...) but not these days. I have been through enough now to know that God's got this. He'll pull me through, even when I'm pretty sure I won't make it. 

He has grown me into a stronger woman, one who can look at this world and all it's terribleness and I can say, "I got this." But only because I am not handling it by myself.

Ok, this was too cute not to share: 
Go be strong.

KC

Monday, December 8, 2014

spread smiles

Have you read the book about Love Languages? I think I did but it's been years and it's very possible I have just heard so many people talk about love languages that I just think I've read the book! Whatever the case, I think I figured out my love language: encouragement or words of affirmation. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

Have you ever complimented a random person in the grocery store on their hat or shoes or purse? And did you see their smile?! You know it made their day. You know how I know this? Because people have done this to me! 

One compliment can turn my foul mood into a sunny outlook on life for the rest of the day. One word of encouragement during a job I am trying to complete can make me push and work harder and better. One kind word can stick with me and push me to accomplish great things (great to me, anyway), in my day.

We need more kind, uplifting words, more encouragement, more compliments and smiles in our world. Have you ever noticed how many people are driving around town just grumpy and stuff? I can't tell you how often I've caught someone's eye, smiled at them only to have them continue frowning and pretty much ignore me, as if they didn't see the big goofy grin on my face. Honestly, people, it may not be the perfect smile, but it's hard to ignore. There's teeth and happiness all over my face. 

(Yeah - that's exactly how I look!)

I know I've written about this in the past, but I think it's worth the reminder. When you see something about someone that is worth complimenting them on, do it! You never know what affect your words could have on a person. 

KC

Friday, December 5, 2014

a needed name

Currently I am waiting in line at the pharmacy to pick up a couple of prescriptions. When I got here there were over 25 people in line ahead of me with 2 working the counter. I don't have time to stand here and wait, but I have no choice. Augh!

This week life got crazy busy. There were times when I felt like I could barely breathe through all I had to do. This is one of those moments. I can count how much I have to do in the next 15 hours and somehow still manage to get some sleep before I head out of town for a couple days. 

What do you do when you can't breathe?!

There has only been one thing this week that has kept me from giving up on everything. Because, let me tell you, the thought of throwing my hands up and saying, "forget it!!" has crossed my mind a few times this week. 

But the little reminder that kept popping up in my mind was the fact that I was never doing it all on my own. All I had to do was whisper the name of Jesus and suddenly: peace. So simple. So quieting. Encouraging. Uplifting. Strengthening. 

It is amazing what that wonderfully complex name can accomplish just with a simple utterance. 

(Funny little addition to the story, well not funny then, but now it is. Or ironic...yeah. Ironic. 

Just after I finished writing the first portion of this blog, it was my turn at the counter and there was a problem with one of my prescriptions that can't be fixed until next week. This already stressed-out gal walked out after having taken a detour to get to the stupid pharmacy in the first place and waited in line for 40 minutes for NOTHING and called her husband and started to cry. 

This gal who had just written about the strength of Jesus name, had already completely put it out of her mind and became distraught.  

After calling my husband, (who has already solved my problem, by the way,) I got back on the road home and thought about my own words. The simple uttering of Jesus' name and the peace it brings. I fought back my tears and said His name and the strength came. 

I still find it funny how in writing this blog so often God is trying to teach ME something!)

Jesus - a name I need every day.

KC

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

2.5 hours later

Tomorrow I have a boutique that I am a part of every year. I have all these little details that I still have to take care of. Finish making a few wreaths, add some flowers, make a few more copies of our business cards, re-create our custom order forms... and about 20 other things. 

But what am I doing at 10:40 at night? Laying on my daughter's bedroom floor, helping her stay mellow so she can fall asleep. Every once in a while she gets beside herself with some kind of drama and she just needs my presence to help her fall asleep. I'm not even going to get into what tonight's drama was. 😳

(If you've never been formally introduced to my daughter, here is a little glimpse: http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-you-are-8.html and there are more posts about her but I am currently too tired to look for them...)

But that to-do list is still there in the back of my mind and I should be stressed out because I'm not doing anything!! But I'm not stressed. Why? Because I am where I am supposed to be: taking care of my daughter.

Tomorrow I might be a basket case. But right now my daughter needs me to be here for her. And that gives me peace regarding everything else in my life. Because everything else becomes secondary when it comes to being a wife and mom. (Although I will admit I'm not perfect at this...😁).

I guess that peace comes from knowing that if everything else fell apart in my life, but I was still taking care of my family, then everything would be okay. There is nothing more important in my life (after God), than what God has called me to do: love my family.

(Take note of when this post is actually published!) 

KC

the truth about kids

I have been blessed to be an auntie to 4 nieces and 4 nephews, ranging in age from 20 to 9. I love being an aunt! When my first niece was born, I raced to the hospital to meet her. If I remember correctly, I skipped out on playing in a volleyball game and made my best friend drive me! I adore my nieces and nephews. ❤️

We've tried to make our door always open to our nieces and nephews. For that reason my oldest brother's 2 kids, K and M, have spent a good amount of time at our house. When you spend a lot of time at someone's house, you tend to see the good, the bad, and the ugly! Our house has all three. 

Raising kids is not a an easy task. K and M have been witness to our struggles, our frustrations, our irritations, and the difficulties in being parents. We don't hide it from them. And the great thing is that they step in as older cousins to help teach our kids to respect and obey their parents, and sometimes they just help entertain the monkeys for us! 🙊 

But I've realized something: I need to make sure that I am also sharing the amazingness (is that a word? Doesn't matter - you get it) of being a parent. There is no joy like being a mommy. A parent's love is immeasurable. Everything I do, I do with my children (and husband) in mind. I would give my life for these two beautiful children we are raising. 

I won't deny that parenting is hard work. The tears I've cried, the heartbreak I have felt, the disappointment, frustration, and hurt that have come from being a mom are real. But those feelings are far surpassed by the fierce love I have for my children. 

It doesn't happen very often, but I lack the words to describe the depth of what it means to be a parent. It is....amazing. 

Being a parent is a gift of God, one that I am continually grateful for, even on the tough days.

KC

Monday, December 1, 2014

school's purpose

Today my kids were a royal pain in my neck. I'll be honest, there was nothing fun about homeschooling my two twerps this morning. And I told them that. Their attitudes had robbed the day of any enjoyment it could have had. I love homeschooling my kids. I love being their teacher. But only they can determine their attitudes toward it. 

I chatted with my husband about it this afternoon and he had a talk with them, like a good principal. He gave them a discipline and then set forth his expectations for tomorrow and what their consequences would be if they gave me more grief tomorrow. How awesome to have that support system in my husband.

He had them apologize to me. Which they did. 

And then it was my turn. 

I stood between the two of them and reminded them of my perspective as their teacher and their mother. I know I have goals to achieve and standards to meet. There are certain things I am required to do and work that I have to show. But these things do not strictly dictate the education of my children. They are simply guides for me. 

I told my children that the reason I teach them is so that I can fill their minds, grow their brains, and make sure they have all the education I can give them so that when God calls them to do something amazing in this world, they will be ready! 

There are so many other reasons as to why I am homeschooling my children, but I want them to see the value in learning. I want them to understand that the utmost reason for being an educated person is not so they can make the most money or be the smartest. It is so that they can be prepared for God's call on their life, whatever that might be. 

I, myself, am an example of this. I have a degree in education. With some guidance from my Mom, I followed my strengths and became a teacher. I have taught in many places at different levels. But I honestly feel that right now I am achieving the highest value for that education by homeschooling my kiddos. That is my calling and God knew that when He directed me down this path. 

I understand why my kids sometimes complain about school. It can be boring. It can be frustrating. But maybe if I just keep reminding them of the real purpose in going to school, perhaps they'll start to believe it themselves. You should have seen their faces when I told them that I was preparing them to do something amazing for God...

KC