it's in the little things

Every once in a while I'll read something or hear something that just sticks.  (Okay, a lot of things "stick" - my memory's not that bad). My parents raised me to be a polite young lady with good manners (most of the time, anyway. Get too comfortable with me and the manners might slip a bit). But there are a few things that I picked up on all by myself (reading and hearing and stuff) that I try to do whenever I can.  Here's just a few off the top of my head:

Whenever I go to the store, gas station, restaurant, I always take care to hand the person helping me the money directly.  I don't leave it on the counter or slide it over.  I count it out and put it in their hand.  They are a person and doesn't that just seem more personal to you?  

 

Another one that seems to take people by surprise is if I call them by the name on their name tag. If I can see their name tag then at some point in our conversation, I'm going to use it.  Most often it is after they have handed me my change and I will say, "Thank you, Kathy." (Lady who helped today at Target was named Kathy. True story).  Quite often they will glance up and make eye contact with me as they say, "You're welcome," or "Have a nice day!"  You ever done that before ?  It's kinda a cool thing to see.  Again, they are a person; they have a name.  Treat them like something more than just their job because they are more than just the person in the red shirt and khaki pants behind the Customer Service counter.

This last one makes me giggle because of my kids' reaction.  In walking, we pass many people: in and out if stores, walking on the sidewalk, waiting in line... People everywhere.  Well sometimes I will greet someone as I walk by them.  If my kids are with me, they never fail to ask: "Who was that, Mom? Do we know them?" I smile and just explain that I was being friendly.  They think I know everybody!  Well I do, kinda...

I guess the point of this one is just this: people are people , no matter what they do or where they live. Let's keep trying keep the personal side alive, especially in our world of electronics where we can tend to distance ourselves through a computer/phone/tablet/whatever screen. 

Now is the time where I go back to the beginning and proofread about 3-5 times checking for spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc.  I think this time I'll just make sure it makes sense because I can barely keep my eyes open!

Goodnight!

KC

because you just never know

Don't ya hate it when you go to a store and the service behind the counter is terrible? The gal seems grumpy and is very short on good customer service? Or the elderly woman you just held the door for didn't say thank you? Or the person behind you on the freeway seems a bit impatient?

In situations like these, it's easy for me to get frustrated, to think that the other person is a terrible person, a jerk (okay, so I wouldn't call an old lady a jerk, but you get the idea). We are pretty quick to judge that person's character based on the one action that we've witnessed.

But do you ever stop to think about what might be going on in their lives that made them grumpy in the first place? Maybe it's nothing, maybe there really are old ladies who are just jerks. But perhaps the gal behind the counter is trying to get home to her sick daughter but had to work overtime.  Maybe the elderly lady just lost a friend and is having a difficult time thinking of anything else.  Maybe the impatient person on the freeway is trying to get to the hospital to see a sick family member.

I'm not making excuses for the people who are just plain rude, impatient, or inconsiderate. But have you ever allowed your situation to affect your mood in such a way that someone else might misjudge you? I know I have.  I've been the gal impatient on the freeway (never the old lady - not yet anyway). 

So maybe just keep that extra measure of grace in your back pocket. Your reaction could ruin your witness or your reaction might speak volumes to them just when they need it. 

KC

tell of their good works

Today's blog is brought to you by a few friends who had coffee with me this morning (who probably don't read my blog but that's okay; I blog for those who read it, not for those who don't. Yeah, read that again - it makes sense, I promise).

Over coffee and tea and a breakfast wrap, we were talking of children and marriage and a whole variety of other things. Honestly, it kind of felt like a conversation between folks who had ADHD because of the number of times the conversation changed and came back to our original subject. Humorous. And now back to the point...

In our conversation I mentioned that it was encouraging and valuable for me to hear how well-behaved and good my children are outside of the house, under someone else's authority. Right then and there I knew my next blog post. 

People, if you see, observe, hear, detect good behavior from a child - tell their parents!  We are working so hard at home to raise godly children who desire to be like Jesus that when we hear of even the smallest bit of fruit, we rejoice!! All the hard work is worth it just to hear that my child helped a child who fell down, or offered to help the teacher in class, or cleaned up a mess at their friends house, or said a kind word, or made a thoughtful gesture , or included a lonely child in a game. Anything! 

So the next time you see positive behavior in a child, don't be afraid to track down their parent and compliment the child's behavior.  Sometimes that's all we've got to get through the rest of the day: knowing that all our time and effort is paying off , even if we can't see it at home.

Thank you to those who already have,

KC

never give up

A few years back I was have a discussion about my difficulties in raising a strong-willed child. After chatting and answering some questions, this individual said to me, "It sounds like you've given up."  I immediately, almost without thought responded with, "Absolutely not!"

It was then that it was cemented in my mind that with any child I had, no matter what their struggles or mine were, I would never give up on them. I determined within my heart that I would help my children through whatever sins, trials, temptations, or otherwise that might come their way, no matter what the cost.  

That is why I am here. For this purpose I was created and God knew that when He created my children.

I am not perfect.  I've made a billion mistakes already. Maybe more. And I will make a billion more.  My selfishness gets in the way.  My desires, my struggles and my weaknesses.  I get tired. I get frustrated. I get offended and hurt. I get downright angry.

But I never give up.

When you look at your child who has made you pull out all your hair.  When you are looking at them and seeing only red.  When you feel alone in your parenting struggles. When you just hide in your closet and cry.  Take hope.  Because deep down, Mama Bear, you are NOT going to give up.  You will continue to lift your child up to The Lord, their Father.  You will read books, seek advice, change their diet, research the internet, try a thousand strategies for that child because you will not give up.

It's okay to fail.  It's okay to ask for help. It's okay if you don't have the answers.  We are not perfect. We are human.  How else can God prove Himself to be amazing if we already are?

Take hope.

Because even when you are low, you know that you'll pick yourself back up and try again tomorrow.

Because you will not give up.

(That's my pep talk to myself!  Can you feel it?!)

KC

the perfect man

(I wrote this post about a month or so ago, not knowing exactly when it would appear on my blog. Well, today's the day! Lucky you.)

I'm not sure if I ever told you this, but my husband is perfect. Really. Perfect. Does no wrong. Does everything right.

(At this point, you know I'm full of baloney but go along with it, see where it takes us).

So in reality no one person is perfect, not even one, except my Savior, Jesus Christ. But I'm not going to tell you about my husband's imperfections, few as they might be. As his wife, I will build him up and give him worthy praise because that's what God has called me to do. A friend of mine has discussed this with me a couple of times. Can you imagine how your husband would feel if he found out how you spoke about him to your friends? 

(Now let me clarify my opinion on this matter here: sometimes you need to vent and if you are seeking advice and have a trusted, respected friend to discuss with, it might be appropriate to bring up some of the "not so fine" points of your marriage.  Which brings me to my next point):

Your husband might not be perfect, but I bet if you were to look in a mirror (one that reflects more than just the physical) you'd find a bunch of faults glaring right back at you!  Goodness, all I have to do is walk around this house to see mine!  We have a ping pong table, yes ping pong, in our dining room and yes, it was my idea to put it there. And we never play ping pong because I can't keep the stinkin' table cleared off!  Monday is my laundry day, with the hopes of being done by Tuesday. It's Friday (well when I wrote this it was Friday) and I still have two loads to do and one pile of unmentionables to put away.  Currently I hear a bag of Doritos calling my name from the pantry (super healthy, I know).  I have let the dust build up in my window sills so much that I can probably plant seeds (I figure why clean them before harvest is done around here. That's an effort in futility, or in my words: a waste of time! So please don't go examining my windowsills when you come over next).  When I walk upstairs I see unfinished projects.  There a small mountain of clothing that needs sewing. And the dust!! (I did talk about the dust already, right?!) It's everywhere!!

And you know what my husband does? My neat, organized, and tidy husband? He thanks me for making him a delicious dinner. He thanks me for picking him up lunch. He empties the dishwasher that has had clean dishes in it for the entire day without saying a word. He walks past the mess on the floor and doesn't seem to notice but thanks me for getting his laundry done. (See? He is practically perfect!) 

If I knew that my husband went to work or out with his buddies and complained about all my short-comings the entire time, I'd be devastated.  It's a bit different for a man, but I know my husband likes to know that I respect him.  That I'm not bad-mouthing him when he's not around.  That I am building him up.

Now he might not be perfect, but he's close enough that I feel extremely blessed to have him as my man. 

KC

Ephesians 4:29 
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

wronging and righting

Yesterday I had a frustrating experience at a business all before 7:30 in the morning (which means with all the getting up, getting ready and drive time, I was up much earlier than my norm - early and I are not very good friends). I was irritated after this experience and decided to take my business elsewhere later in the day. It set the mood for my day. I tried to get on with life but my already stressful day was now 10x more crazy!

A little later I got a phone call from this business and the guy on the other end apologized profusely and I could tell he felt sincerely terrible for what had happened. He asked for my business back but understood if I wanted to go elsewhere. I decided to go back and was treated so well that I would recommend this business to anyone (and I told the guy that before I left).

The moral of the story for me is this: sometimes in life we do stupid things. We make bad choices. We hurt feelings. We step on toes. We forget important things. We don't think before we speak.  We show up late. We complain. We yell. And I am guilty of all of these things plus approximately 45 other stupid things.  Maybe more.

Right about now is when remorse plays a very important role. How we feel after the stupid things we do should guide us to what we should do next. This is what I am constantly working on with my kids:

"You bopped him on the head while you were frustrated and he ended up crying. How do you feel? What should you do next?"  

"You told her you hated her because she was copying every word you said. Now her feelings are hurt. How does that make you feel? What should you do now?"  

"You covered him in sand because you thought it'd be fun. Now he's crying sandy tears and spitting out sandy mud.  Do you think he thought it was fun? How do you feel? What should you do about it?" 

(And this fun list of examples could go on and on and on...)

What do you do when you wrong someone? You make it right. You apologize and you do what you can to make the situation better. How the other person responds is up to them, but for me personally, an attitude of remorse and humility goes along way!  I've written emails, made phone calls, bought belated gifts, cried, and apologized for my stupid stuff and more often than not the person who I wronged doesn't feel so wronged after all.  

Any wrongs you need to right?

KC

intentional encouragement

You ever just have someone say something that ruined your day? I have. Got me down. In the dumps and sometimes it takes me all day long to figure out what made me bummed out to begin with.  When I remember what was said, I have to have a pep talk with myself and tell myself to get over it! Or sometimes I go to my awesomely encouraging husband who thinks I do no wrong (except maybe exaggerate the truth once in a while) and he gently lets me know that I am being too sensitive. And by gently I mean that he tells me to get over it too, but nicely.

All that being said, I know that sometimes I have let careless, un-thought-through (yes, a real word - I used hyphens) words come out of my mouth and have had to go back to friends to apologize just in case they were offended by my un-thought-throughness. 

So then that makes me think: how often are we intentional about building someone up, encouraging, uplifting? Not just noticing their fabulously bejeweled hat, or the new polka-dotted pedicure (although I have had lifted spirits simply by someone complimenting me on my hair !) No, I mean looking for something to say that will encourage them for the rest of their day, or week, or perhaps will stick with them the rest of their lives. Did you know that your words posess that kind of power? Well, believe it. They do.

You are a good mom - I see how much you care about your childrens' hearts.

You are so helpful - always thinking of others. I really appreciate that.

I love your smile. It brightens up my day every time I see it! (I really think we need to encourage each other to smile more.)

I know you're struggling right now, but I see your determination! Don't give up!!

I enjoy watching you with your students - the kids sure do love you! (Teachers always need encouragement - they put up with our rug rats every day!)

I know you can't see this right now, but this trial is making you stronger and someday you will look back and see that.

You are a great hostess! I love coming to your events.

Thank you for the gift - you are so thoughtful, you never forget my birthday! (No one will ever say that to me...I stink at birthday remembering).

I love coming to your house for lunch - you are such a great cook.

Goodness, once I got started I realized that coming up with encouraging words isn't that difficult.  It simply means taking a look at the person God has in front of you and figuring out what might lift their heart. 

Intentional encouragement.

Who will you see tomorrow that you can intentionally encourage? Face to face? In an email? Text? Phone call? Facebook? Hand written letter? These days there are so many ways to encourage that you really don't have an excuse not to!

KC

more than blurbs

Sometimes God gently tells you something that you need to hear. Other times He stands in front of your face, grabs your hands, starts to bop you with your own fists and says, "Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself!!" It's just that obvious. Lately, He's been that obvious to me.

I'm pretty sure that God is trying to get me in a better praying habit. Long story short: it's lacking in my life and so many people I love and care about need it, including myself sometimes...well, okay, all the time.

I never thought I could be a prayer warrior. I always imagine an old lady, up till all hours of the night, fervently praying for someone in need. The lady who gets a phone call that someone is ailing and sets right to work, interceding, praying with passion, commitment, determination, and dedication. That ain't me. (Maybe in 55 years when I am old, because I'm not planning on getting old until I'm 90.)

But maybe He's got something else in mind for me. Maybe something far down the road that He needs me practicing for right now. Or maybe it is the "right now" that desperately needs my prayer. Whatever the case, I don't think my short blurbs to God are cutting any more. 

Don't get me wrong; those blurbs are valuable! Sometimes I need to lift something or someone up as I see the need, even if it is a short request. And sometimes you just have to show immediate gratitude for the beautiful way God works in your life.  And sometimes the kids need to hear a little prayer for safety as you are driving in traffic.  Those blurbs are woven into the day so that I can stay in constant conversation. 

But I need more. That's what God's telling me. Depth. More listening. More time without distraction (Ha!). You know, that type of heart-revealing conversation that you reserve for your best friend. More.

Time to start dedicating a specific time in my day for the much needed conversation with God.  Time.  Hmmm... Maybe that's the first thing I need to pray for: time.

KC