monday

Tomorrow is Monday...or (depending on when you read this) today is Monday. I kinda like Mondays. It's a fresh start to see how much I can get accomplished before the end of the week approaches. But I know a lot of people are not Monday fans. Usually it means you're headed back to work.

I get that. I've got a couple of students who don't care too much for Mondays and they let me know it. (I'm talking about my homeschoolers, not my piano students!) Having a couple of whiny and moany "employees" can bring a Monday down pretty quickly. 

But you know what keeps me sane? It's something I learned long ago. When faced with a task that seems unpleasant or working with someone who is just a pain in the behind, going at it with the right attitude makes all the difference.

And the attitude is this: do everything you are doing as if unto the Lord. Some days I don't feel like fighting my kids to learn their math facts. But God asked me to and so out of obedience and love for Him, I'm going to teach those stinkin' math facts! 

I know there are ornery people in this world and there's a good chance you have to work with one or two of them. But God has called you to be there and to do your best work for Him. Maybe He is using you in ways that you can't even see! And doesn't a task seem so much easier to do if you imagine that you are pleasing God, and not some rude boss? 

I wrote another post about how this applies to marriage many months ago. I just went back and reread it and it made me laugh - who knew I was funny?! 

Anyway, here is a link to it if you are interested: http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com/2013/11/as-to-lord.html

Let me leave you with this bit of encouragement as you face another Monday (and don't you forget it!):

Happy Monday, y'all!

KC

the everyday gift

Today is a great day. One set aside to give thanks for all our blessings. Traditions, food, family, pie, games, and all that. These are all wonderful things.

But long ago I learned two very important things about Thansgiving:

1. Giving thanks shouldn't just happen on Thanksgiving Day, but everyday because there is always something to be thankful for.

2. The ultimate thing to be thankful for, the one thing I can always find within myself to be thankful for, no matter what the situation is this: that God, through his son, provided a way for me to someday leave this world full of sorrows, of sickness, of heartache, and tears so that I could join him in heaven, a place so perfect that my feeble mind cannot even comprehend it. 

Salvation - there is nothing I am more grateful for than this. 

And everyday I am grateful for this gift.

KC

be there

I have a list of topics to write about. God has been extra inspiring these last couple of weeks, despite how exhausted I have been. However, my mind is is consumed by the loss my friend must be experiencing. She and her husband and their 4 kids had to say good-bye to their 17-year-old son this week.   

What do you say to that? How do you figure out the right words to say? What message do you send? There is nothing. Absolutely nothing you can say to make it better.

But, you can be there. 

I'm not always very good at this because I always think I have to have the right words to say, so sometimes I stay silent. 

But to be quite honest, I don't really remember the words that people said to me when my Dad died. I just remember them being there. I remember the hugs. I remember the expressions of sorrow and the tears.

I remember people being there.

Just be there.

And when time has passed, be there again. Because even with my Dad being in heaven for 7 years, I still want to talk about him. I want people to remember him. I want to hear stories and know that he was and is still loved. 

If you don't know what to say, just be there. 

KC

you never know when

I tend to try and keep things light here on my blog, but tonight my heart is heavy.

A friend from many years past is in the midst of a experience I couldn't even fathom going through. I know very little about the situation except that her teenage son was in a car accident and is currently on life support. 

Another dear friend of mine has a son who is medically fragile, and as he approaches his 15th birthday, they face a transplant rejection as well as a fight against cancer. Every day he fights for his life.

This week a prominent figure in our town passed away suddenly. A friend of mine wrote this on Facebook regarding his passing: Life is short. Hug the ones you love and be ready to meet our Maker. 

Today I was watching my son walk from the truck to the house and suddenly my heart was overwhelmed. First with immense and fierce love followed quickly by the thought that had been forming in the back of my mind for the past couple of days: what if I lost him? What if I lost either of my children?

Unfathomable.

(Even as I write this, I have to keep leaving this page to allow myself to get distracted elsewhere. I keep losing my focus, but dealing with this subject is just too much).

Honestly, I'm not sure what my point is in writing this. Maybe someone needs to be reminded that life's too short to let petty things stand in the way of a relationship. Or maybe to remind someone to go visit their mom. Or maybe to grab those children and hug and squeeze them more often. Perhaps it's time you thought about what's going to happen when you die, or if one of your children passes on - do you know where you're going? Or where any of your loved ones are going? Don't live with regrets. Value your time with those special to you. Make memories together. Listen to the urgings that God is putting on your heart.

Heavy, I know.

I'm sorry...

But sometimes we need the heavy to remind us of the important.

KC

cutting my tree

They came and cut my tree this week. My one beautiful tree in the backyard, the one whose leaves all turn this bright, unashamed yellow and seem to twinkle on a windy day. Half of my tree is gone. It is so difficult for me to watch beautiful things get cut away.

They did it to my tree a few tears ago too. We had just bought the house and before I even had the chance to enjoy the tree, they hacked it to what seemed like nothing. I tried not to cry. They assured me that it would look even better in the spring when the branches grew in and filled with leaves. I tried to believe them. I tried. But I was still sad.

Sure enough, next spring as the leaves and branches filled in, our tree was a perfect shape, so full, so bright and cheery. Because those tree trimmers, they knew what they were doing when they cut back the branches. And they could see what they future held for that tree when it would start to have new growth: beauty. 

And such is my life. 

It's tough when God starts to do some trimming in my life. He takes people and things out of my hands and out of my life. And out of my CONTROL. I am not a fan of things being out of my hands. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a control freak. I just don't like not having a say in things.

But when He does, I try to remind myself that He knows exactly what He is doing. He is making room for new growth, for bigger and better things to happen in my life. And He can see into the future and know that it's all going to be good.

And my job through the cutting and the trimming: to trust Him. 

It hurts. There are times when the trimming hurts so bad that I feel like I can't breathe. But on the backside of every "trimming of the branches" in my life, I can see bits and pieces of the reasons He trimmed them away. Sometimes I don't fully understand, but He does and that's enough for me.

So when I look at my skinny little tree outside, I know that in the spring, it will be back to it's full gorgeous self once again.

KC

so much the same, but not really

For most of my life, I've tried not to make generalizations, especially about men. If you look just for a few minutes, you will find a bunch of memes/quotes/ecards that place guys into some kind of jerk-shaped box. I know the same exists for women as well. We are all high maintenance, overly emotional creatures who become horrible people when we pms. Am I right? Yes I am - I'm a woman; we're always right (opposite generalization - is that a thing?)

 

I found a couple of funnies about this subject: 

You see? What a bunch of sillyness. Each of us was created so differently. There might be a bunch of jerks in this world, but I know a whole lot of guys who aren't, especially my husband. (Does that mean he's never been a jerk? I can't say that. It just means that's not how I categorize him.) And many girls do a pretty good job of keeping their emotions in check, but yeah, they can get a little over the top once in a while. However, some of those emotions are pretty legit and actually offer a lot of good. 

(This one really cracks me up):

I do have to admit, there are distinct differences between guys and gals. Men tend toward the side of logic. Women toward the emotional side. Men can often compartmentalize things in their heads whereas girls tend to connect everything with...well, everything. Men often use less words and are direct. Women usually use more words and dance a little bit around what they are trying to say. 

(But even in all that, I recognize that not every man fits the "guy mold" that I just laid out there and ditto for the gals.)

My husband and I are built different. God had that figured out for the two of us long ago. And there are times when we butt heads because of our differences. That is inevitable. 

However, there are times when our differences perfectly balance each other out. And we are aware of this and use it to our advantage in our relationship. If I feel overly emotional about some drama, my guy is a great sounding board. He helps bring it all into focus. And sometimes when the numbers just don't add up logically, my husband needs a little bit of an emotional input to help make a decision. When I am feeling weak and insecure, he speaks strong truths into my life. And when his words seem like they could be harsh, he bounces them off of me first so that I might soften them before he speaks them.

Those differences that can drive us crazy are the same ones that can strengthen our marriage. You just have to make the choice together as to whether you both use the power for good or for evil...

KC

not what I expected

In the movie Moms Night Out (just gonna warn you - I'm probably going to quote this movie frequently. It is just too relatable), there is a line that the mom says that is pretty much an exact quote of what I have told my husband numerous times. 

I have felt guilty admitting this. Heartbroken also. But it is the truth. 

Here is my version of the quote:

Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was grow up and be a mommy, but it's not at all what I thought it would be.

*sigh* 

Playing pretend as a little girl, I loved being a mommy to my dolls. I had a little kitchen set and I would cook for them and feed and burp them. I would change their clothes and put them down for a nap. My heart was full when I pretended to be a mommy. I just knew that's what I wanted to do. My Mom was a fantastic mom. I wanted to be the same. Going to a 4 year college was just something I did as a just-in-case, precautionary sort of thing. 

And then mommyhood actually happened. We took our munchkin home from the hospital and started figuring out what we needed to do for the 3 of us to survive. We thought it'd get easier as Jayne got older. Not really. There's always just another stage to work through. Then we added Lincoln. Two little ones to grow. 

Potty-training

Pre-school

Temper tantrums

Playing nice

Choosing friends

Making good choices

Eating good foods

Lying

Sneaking

Bad attitude

Bad language

Complaining, whining, moaning, groaning 

Being lazy

Disobeying

Rebelling

Too much TV

Too many electronics

Go outside to play!!

Quit talking back to me!!

Because I said so!!

AUGH!!!

Oh my goodness - so many hard things! So many battles. So much frustration. So much exhaustion. So many things we didn't anticipate. 

Being a mommy was not just cuddles and coos and snuggles and "I love you's."  It was, and is, really hard work.

But the results are so much more than I anticipated:

The amazing connection in the first few days of our children's lives

Watching milestones in the first year of their lives

Eating

Sitting up

Crawling

Walking

Talking

Watching their personalities blossom

Seeing kindness

Thoughtfulness

Generosity

Patience (oh wait, that doesn't really develop as much until you become a parent!)

Watching them become responsible

Make friends

Listening to their plans for their future

Dreaming with them

Hugs

Kisses

Snuggles and cuddles

"I love you"

Hearing them accept Jesus as their Savior

Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was grow up and be a mommy, but it's not at all what I thought it would be.

It's more.

So much more.

KC

a comedy that moved me to tears

The other day I watched a movie in the middle of the afternoon. I never do that! I mean, afternoon is prime time for getting stuff done! But it was Sunday so I don't feel guilty. The crazy thing is that football was on TV, but my husband didn't say a word when he came into the family room and I was watching this comedy. He's amazing.

By the end of this totally relatable and utterly hilarious movie, I was bawling my eyes out. And not because of laughter. But the story hit home so strong that I couldn't help myself. 

Let me get a raise of hands for all the moms who have seen Moms Night Out.... (Beverly Henry - thanks for prompting me to see this one!)  As far as I'm concerned, every mom needs to watch this movie at least once a month. The messages that are in this movie are absolutely true. And we need to be reminded of them on a regular basis.

The two biggest points that hit me the hardest were these:

1. Being a mom is HARD work.

2. We, as moms, set our own standards for ourselves SO high that we can never achieve them and will always fail. 

As the movie was coming to an end, as the tears started falling, I realized my tears were tears of relief. Because if a movie this mainstream had those points to share, then it must be true. I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who thinks this mommy thing is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. It challenges every part of me: my emotions, my mental state of mind, my physical being (carrying a flailing 8 year old up a flight of stairs to put her in her room takes every ounce of strength I have!) Everything about me is affected. 

And the truth in realizing that I am placing unrealistic standards for motherhood on myself. Nobody expects me to do what I expect myself to do. I'm really hard on myself. I need to lay off myself! 

If you have the chance to see Moms Night Out, do it. It's at RedBox right now. I'm gonna buy it and invite mommies over to watch it with me. Because we all need to be reminded that our job is pretty important and that if is worth all the blood, sweat, tears, and prayers that we are putting into it.

Who's up for a movie night next week?!

KC

make the best of the worst

Life doesn't always go the way I plan it to. Nowadays it seems it rarely does. That used to drive me crazy. I wanted to have things under control and make sure that everything in life went smoothly. But you throw kids in the mix of life and you find that planning often gets thrown out the window! Plus all the other hic-cups that happen that are completely out of your hands....

So I learned to roll with the punches. I try not to let the negative experiences in life drag me down. I strive to look for the best in the worst. 

I found some pictures of people who made the best out of the worst:

Inner tubing on a flooded street.

 

Not going bald! Mowing away the hair!

Oh goodness, if my child drew on the wall...

Cracked phone screen

This is probably my favorite - that huge scratch can now be attributed to a dinosaur!

 And then I found this quote:

Amd this one:

Oh, the value of perspective!

KC

thorns and heaping coals

So you know when you have someone in your life who feels like a thorn but you can't get rid of them and you have to deal with them everyday and you cannot see an end in sight for dealing with all their garbage and it just plain stinks? And you just want to be a thorn right back to them or quit your job or the relationship or run far, far away? 

Rotten deal, I know.

But that is life.

Sometimes you can make changes that dismiss this person from your life. But sometimes you can't. And then you have a choice.

Let their thorny-ness ruin your life. 

Or not.

So what I discovered in seeking out scriptures to support this idea turned out to be pretty stinkin' rad (and I use the word "rad" to bother my niece who thinks it shouldn't be used anymore/again and I utterly disagree because I think it is an awesome word and because I'm getting old and I just don't care). 

In Proverbs 25:21-22 it says this: "if your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and The Lord will reward you." 

In my mind I always thought: "Ha! Kill 'em with kindness!!" Some kind of vengeful feeling always accompanied that scripture in my mind...

But in reading a little more in depth today I discovered a little different meaning. I will simplify what I read because it's late and that is reason enough. Essentially, by heaping coals upon the head and heart, the idea is to burn away all ill will so that they will be compelled to love you. And yet another gem: for or not to consume but to melt away into kindness. 

That completely changed the mental picture I held in my mind! So instead of someone's mean face kinda melting away, I now see all their yuckiness (I apologize for that but "yuckiness" is the only word that is coming to this mommy's mind) just sort of melting away and a big broad smile breaking out on their face. 

So instead of returning evil for evil, maybe it's time to heap coals of kindness upon them and see where that takes you.

All I know is that if someone brought me Starbucks on a regular basis and fresh flowers every couple of weeks, amd volunteered to babysit my kids once a week, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hate them for very long...

KC

And lest you think you might possibly be the thorn I am writing about, don't worry, you're not. I was just prompted to write about this and so I did.