Wednesday, March 8, 2017

worriment and fruit

Today, while making dinner, I had the most fantastic realization! So fantastic that the emotions welled up inside of me and I nearly started to cry! But I had also been cutting onions so... 😢

But it wasn't the onions. It was my daughter. She was in the next room over (which in my house is really just  sorta a continuation of the room I was in - it's all very open) and she was doing Yoga, following a YouTube instructional video. I don't know what brought this on. I'd like to say that it was because of my amazing Yoga-ing example, but it's not. I don't do Yoga. But I looked at her and was a little overwhelmed with pride mixed with hope! 

Let me explain where this all stems from. As a homeschooling mom (and I'm sure moms who don't homeschool their kids struggle with this too. I'm just going to relate it from my homeschool perspective because that's where I live!) I am constantly wondering if I'm doing a good job with my kids. I live in a constant state of shortcomings. Just ask my Education Specialist. Every time she meets with me, she has to spend half of her time encouraging and boosting my downtrodden heart and soul! Poor Amy!!

So not only am I worried about their academics, but their social growth as well (because that is the BIGGEST stigma I still fight and I work hard to make sure my kids do not fall into that stigma. Socialization: I stick my tongue out to all of you who think homeschoolers are not socialized. Spend 5 minutes with my kids and you'll find they are socialized just fine! They will interact with almost anyone at any age!!) I also worry about how responsible they are becoming and if I have them in enough activities or too many activities or in the right activities. And if I'm teaching them how to deal with life and their future in the right way and if they are building a relationship with God and, and, and...

I pretty much just live in a state of constant worriment (if it's not a word, it should be!)😳

So today, as I watched my child choose to learn Yoga all on her own, and helped her learn how to use a sewing machine to create her vey first quilt (which, if any of you have attempted it, you know this takes incredible patience and attention to detail, both of which do not come naturally to my girl), and yesterday she cleaned up her atrociously gross bathroom counter and sinks WITHOUT BEING ASKED, I was overwhelmed. Because on top of that (and this might seem insignificant to you, but I think it's pretty awesome), my 8-year old made the perfect sunny-side up egg this morning and ate it, runny yolk and all! And he is already an incredible scrambled egg and omelet maker. And he eats green vegetables, including lima beans, avocados (which my kids will argue is a fruit), cucumbers, and his favorite: broccoli (You know how at Denny's you can get the Kids Grand Slam Breakfast and order any two sides? He gets broccoli...for breakfast...and eats it first! 😂) And he does his own laundry, from start to finish. Both kids do. 

People, I'm scratching the surface, but my point is this: my kids ARE turning into responsible people!! I AM preparing them for real life!! (My son may only eat eggs, but they're healthy so that's fine.) I am so proud of them. The constant hard work is paying off and there is hope that someday my children will be able to live on their own, be responsible, and be godly, contributing members of society! 

Praise Jesus! Hallelujah! 

That overwhelming feeling of pride and hope also gave me relief. I am not failing. I cannot tell you how much I need to hear that and see it. I am not failing. 

Final thoughts on this seemingly silly post on Yoga/quilting/cleaning/eggs/laundry post: 
Don't lose hope.
Don't give up.
The fruit is coming.
Keep striving, Mom and Dad.
The fruit is coming!

KC



Tuesday, March 7, 2017

oh, Mexico...*sigh*

*Pre-blog note: I wrote this one about 3 weeks ago, on an airplane, coming home from Mexico, feeling great! Find the follow up on the bottom, which will explain while this beauty took a while to get posted...


Women!
This past week I once again experienced the incredibleness (not sure if that's a word but I'm sure I don't care) of women coming together to support each other. I am certain this world would only get better if we continue to build each other up and support and encourage each other, no matter how crazy life gets! 

(PS - this is not an anti-man post. This is just a pro-amazing-women-friends post.)

My husband and I had the opportunity to go on a fabulous vacation last week to Mexico. Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Also known as "HEAVEN." Okay, not really but if you've been there, you can understand why I might feel that way. The weather was gorgeous and we were spoiled being right on the ocean, walking through nearly white sand, swimming in warm pools and eating delicioso foods. I should have gained 10 lbs!



But I didn't gain 10 lbs. Because it wasn't heaven. It was NEARLY heaven, but not during the 24 hours that I got sick and COULDN'T LEAVE MY ROOM! Talk about a raw deal, people! I lost weight...so it was kinda like heaven...kinda. You don't need any more details than that, just sayin. 

We were on vacation with 5 other couples, over half of them that I hadn't met before we met up in PV. I got along famously with these fantastic folks - lifelong friends for sure now. But let me tell you, when I got sick, after only knowing them for 1 day, those gals in the group stepped up and offered everything they could to help me. I had all the meds I needed to get me through that 24 hours and into the next few days so that I could recuperate and hang out with the crew for the remainder of our time together. 


And it wasn't just those phenomenal gals who cared for me, it was my gals from home and in my heart who were checking in on me and sympathizing from afar and encouraging me. And then my Momma, praying for me like only a mom does. ❤️ She was sending her words of wisdom from the time I told her that I was sick till I got ready to head home.

(And I have to plug my husband, even though he doesn't fall into the "woman" topic of this post - he took care of me and got me everything I needed the entire time I was sick. Go hubs!)


But women!! You are incredible people! Your hearts are beyond amazing, full of compassion. I would be lost and so lonely without the women who fill my soul and come to my rescue.
Do not underestimate yourselves, my friends!
Do not let anyone undervalue who you are, who you have been created to be!
God made women to play a crucial role, nay, many crucial roles in this world!
You are amazing.
You are necessary.
You are important.

KC



*On returning home from this "nearly heavenly" trip, I managed to get sick for another 2 weeks off and on and let me just tell you: I do not have time for that monkey business and malarkey!! But I'll tell you this too: my gal pals came to my rescue and checked in on me and boosted my spirits all that while as well. I couldn't have survived the miserableness without the Gatorade deliveries and the positive spin on being sick: weight loss, a break from work, catching up on Netflix episodes, homeschooling from my bed in my pjs... I'm so grateful for those friends who can help me find a silver lining when I need it the most! Love you all!


Sunday, March 5, 2017

bickering bickerers

Let me just put this out there to start with: no matter what I say in this blog, I love my children with my whole heart and love being their mom. I promise.

That being said, I don't always like my children nor do I always like being their mom! And I KNOW I'm not alone in feeling that way...

The current situation that has lead to the challenge of my sanity (this loss of sanity happens weekly, at the least!) is that my children are being the bickeringest bickerers that ever lived!  They cannot shut their mouths to each other. They are in a constant state of one or the other with their mouths open and the most unkind and/or irritating things are flying out of them! 

Oh. My. Stars. And Moons! Shut up!! Just shut up already!! I am ready to lock them each in their own rooms for a month with the hopes that maybe, just maybe they will start to miss each other enough to STOP BICKERING AT EACH OTHER FOR ONE ITTY-BITTY SECOND!!

(I'm slightly over this whole thing, can you tell?!)

So I spent some time on Pinterest, which is truly a place of sanity for me. It's like the world got together and solved all my problems for me with pretty pictures and ideas and things that make me smile. I searched for ideas on how to teach my kids to get along better and there were so many creative and awesome ideas! My favorite has always been the get along shirt: 
I mean seriously, how great is this? Put your stinkers together in this shirt until they figure out how to get along!

But I decided to go a different route. I came across a list of things for siblings to demonstrate love to each other. In my ideal world, this is what I want my kids to do! If they can't figure out how to love each other, are they prepared to go out into the world and love anyone else? (I talked with my boy about God's two greatest commands this past week and you should have seen his shock when I told him that yes, even his sister is his neighbor and he has to love her too. 😳)

So the idea is that when the kids are bickering, they have to pull a slip of paper out of a jar that has a way to demonstrate love to one another. Here are just a few ideas I came across (thank you,  kidspot.com):
- give each other a compliment
- make each other's bed
- draw something positive about your sibling
- read a storybook together, each person taking a turn on each page
- write a poem for the other person
- turn on music and dance for 5 minutes
- play Simon Says for 6 minutes, each person being Simon for 3 minutes
- make each other an "I'm sorry" card
- draw something together
- play Madlibs together
- create a secret handshake together
- give each other a big hug
- pick up each other's toys
- do a chore together (clean bathroom sinks, sweep the kitchen floor, get the mail...)
- tell each other a secret
- do 10 jumping jacks, 10 push ups, and 10 sit ups together
- ask your sibling to tell you one thing they would like you to do differently.

I have a feeling with the amount of bickering that has been going on lately, we are going to blow through this list preeeettttyyyy quickly. So give me some of your ideas! Share them in the comments and help stop the sibling bickering happening in the Cragin house!!! 
Please!!

KC


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Stupid Nacho Cheese Doritos

So it turns out that I have a huge weakness for Nacho Cheese Doritos. I think maybe I didn't realize this sooner because we rarely buy chips and when we do, it's never Doritos. But then I got sick and was without an appetite for a couple weeks so I purchased a couple things that sounded good and appetizing to eat: (*ahem* Nacho Cheese Doritos, BBQ Pringles, Sour Patch Kid Watermelon Slices, Gardettos - if you don't know what Gardettos are, you need to trust me with your whole heart and try them: all kinds of deliciousness!) and that was a stupid thing to do!

Because now that I'm pretty much mended (well...almost...mostly...) all I want to snack on are those blasted Nacho Cheese Doritos!! I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY!!! 

And here I sit, fighting my way through Dorito-loving-guilt and grace. Isn't this just the exact story of our lives?! Well, maybe not for all y'all, but I, myself, am constantly in a tug-of-war between feeling guilty for not being good enough and trying to hang on to that grace that says I don't have to be perfect! 

For example:
Parenting
Wife-ing
Friendships
Cleaning 
Eating Doritos
Being the best sister ever
(My brothers don't read my blog so I'm totally getting away with that one.)
Exercising
Parenting...again

It doesn't matter what I'm striving to be good at, I'm always finding myself somewhere in a balance of feeling horrible for being so bad at it and living in hope because of grace. 

And that is why I chose the name of this here blog: Surviving by the Grace of God. Because if it wasn't for that grace, I wouldn't be surviving. I'd be covered in or cheese powder from eating Nacho Cheese Doritos every day.

KC