no new year's resolutions for me

So before we jump into 2015, I'm going to admit something to you: I don't do resolutions. 

You know why? Because I ALWAYS fail!!

So instead of resolutions one time a year, I set goals throughout the entire year. And I don't wait until the start of a new year to make changes and to try to achieve my goals. I start as soon as I realize them.

Want to eat healthier foods? Start today. And if you stick with it for 2 weeks and then fail, guess what?! You aren't done; you just pick up where you left off and try again.

Do you want to stop yelling at the kids? Make that your goal and figure out different habits for dealing with the stinkers. And if you yell at them, give yourself the grace to know that you are trying. Don't give up; try again tomorrow (or 15 minutes later in the day when you feel like yelling at them AGAIN!)

Trying to be more optimistic? Sure, you're still going to have a horrible day once in a while, but that doesn't mean every day has to be labeled with negativity. Start tomorrow with a smile.

Perhaps the biggest one is exercise. This can be a difficult habit to get into. It took me years! But my biggest struggle was getting excuses out of my way and finding motivation. Well I found my motivation once I started being consistent in my exercising habits: more energy, strength, and a body that is no longer going downhill. And my biggest excuse killer: "doing something is better than doing nothing at all." Just used that on myself this morning! 

Most of my changes have come from mentally setting goals and then trying my hardest to stick with them. 

I hated flossing my teeth. Sounds silly, I know, but I struggled to get in the habit. But once I started doing it consistently for a couple months, I realized that I cannot stand to go without flossing in the morning. 

I've been exercising consistently for almost 2 years. I got sick a month or so ago and took a week off which turned into 2 and then 3 weeks. The idea of going back to a life of no exercise was killing me so I've been kicking myself out of bed in the morning and making my way to our gym to get a workout in. Feels so good...when I'm done!

A few years back, we decided to eliminate our credit card debt. We created a budget and are quite consistent with it, but it took time and discipline to make it work, both of which are struggles for me. AND THEN we went almost completely to cash-only spending. Wowsers... 

So no more resolutions for me. Just goals for life accompanied by heavy doses of grace, when needed.

Happy last couple of days of 2014!!

KC

 

the light that comes from perspective

I don't know about you, but there have been times in my life when it seemed as though there might not be a light at the end of the tunnel. It is dark where you are and every day seems like a struggle. All hope has faded. And you don't feel like fighting in the struggle anymore. You are ready to give up on the relationship, or the dream, or you just want to run away from the hurt or the pain. 

But I have learned a lot in the midst of struggle. Perhaps the greatest thing has been perspective. When I have been completely down or struggling to see the bright side in anything, that is when I lean the heaviest on God. I pretty much look at Him and tell Him, "I can't do this anymore. You take over." And that is when He gives me perspective. 

Perspective doesn't mean that everything is fixed, all my problems are solved and that I can get on with a happy-go-lucky life.

Perspective means that He has given me a new way to look at my situation. Sometimes I can see life in a more positive light. Sometimes I just see it with a different or deeper understanding. Sometimes it is a feeling of resigning myself to the situation and not fighting it anymore because I know He's got it under control.

Whatever it is that God teaches me at my lowest of lows, I tuck it in my heart and in my mind and it becomes a nugget of wisdom for my future. 

Perspective: when my kids are driving me to the cliffs of insanity, I remember that they are imperfect beings and just like God shows me patience and grace (because I often act like a child), I need to show the same to them.

Perspective: when my goals and dreams aren't going according to my plans, I remind myself that His plans are bigger, better, and probably a little more organized than my ways! So I have to step out of the way and let Him do His thing. (This is also probably one of His tricky ways to teach me patience!)

Perspective: when I feel overwhelmed and stressed, He is my constant reminder: breathe, slow down, focus on the important things, enjoy the moments, and reminding me that it's okay to say, "no."

Perspective: when my husband and I are not being the best of friends (which rarely happens because we have the most perfect relationship 😉 - yes, looking for brownie points here!) and I don't have the desire to be his friend, I am reminded that we made a commitment before God (and with God's help) to stay together and work through everything. And although sometimes it takes a little while before I'm ready to be his friend again (often just as much my fault as his), we always come back together and solve our issues. Hence: the most perfect relationship...mostly! 😊

Perspective: God won't leave me in a pit forever.

Perspective: God is always with me.

Perspective: God loves me unconditionally.

That perspective that He gives when we are at our darkest is a gift, God's way of growing us and refining us. It hurts but is so necessary. 

And even though I complain all the way through it, I'm grateful that He gives me what I need, just when I need it.

KC

surviving by the grace of God

Today I had a chance to chat with a gal a bit about my blog and it got me to thinking: if I had to explain why I write, what would the simple answer be? (I spent hours cleaning out my 9 year old daughter's room today; I had a LOT of time to think!) 

So here's what I came up with: life here on this earth as a Christian, wife, mom, and well, a woman is difficult. And even when it feels impossible, it is important to know that you are not alone in what you are going through. I've made it through a myriad of difficulties in my life this far and have survived all of them, but only by the grace of God. 

Hence the blog: surviving by the grace of God.

Being a mom is tough:

I found out 8 years ago that raising my adorable little girl was going to give me a run for my money! 

Oh. 

My. 

Goodness. She is amazing but has taught me a whole lot about an iron will, how to reach the heart, how to stand up for myself 😳, and how to see the amazingness in a strong-willed child. I've survived so far by the grace of God. Which gives me hope for the next 10 (or so) years!

Living with an emotional disorder is tough:

Years ago I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that sent me into panic attacks and made life very difficult. I wouldn't do anything adventurous. Took no risks. I was often nervous and my fears took over much of my life. But after years of my heart racing, sitting on the outside edge of every row, knowing where every exit was in every building, I survived it by the grace of God alone. 

Losing someone you love is tough:

About 7 years ago I lost my Dad to cancer. I watched him get sick and pass on to heaven in a matter of 9 months. I don't need to go into any details for you to understand how difficult that is to go through. I survived the devastation but only by the grace of God.

I would say that these were the 3 most difficult things I have been through...so far. But on the backside of every one of them, I have grown immensely. I am stronger and wiser and closer to God because of each one. And although each one was (and still is) difficult to go through, I am grateful for what I have learned from each experience.

So I write. To relate. 

And because this crazy life is surviveable by the grace of God. 

I'm proof.

KC

unto you is given

Today is a gift to you. 

You were given the gift of a Savior today.

There is nothing else needed in this world.

There is nothing else that compares.

Tell the story.

Make a big deal out of this amazing gift.

Because Christmas is here to give you a gift of eternal life through an itty-bitty baby who saved your life.

Merry Christmas, my friends!

KC

deviating from the to-do list

As I sit in front of the Christmas tree reflecting back on today, it would be very easy for me to see all the things that I really waned to accomplish and to get frustrated at how little I actually got to cross off of my to-do list. Afterall, that to-do list practically governs my life. I have a schedule/routine of what needs to get done and the holidays have added a load to that list!

But honestly, despite what didn't get done, l loved today. Today was a good day.  The kitchen ended up twice as messy as what I originally planned. However, that mess what created by little hands who were busy at work making memories. We pulled out the gingerbread kits and made houses and villages today. Really sticky frosting was everywhere. Sprinkles and candy covered the houses and the table and the floor. 

My niece also joined in on the fun. (Or maybe she just came over to help me contain the chaos). She's home from college for such a short time so I try to hog her when I can. She made some yummy treats also, making the house smell of peanut butter and chocolate - a most delicious combination of calories! 😜 And you know that time spent together in the kitchen can be the most valuable time. 

So the house isn't spotless. The laundry will still be going tomorrow. The schoolroom is an absolute wreck. When I wasn't looking, somehow the kids' rooms got destroyed. I probably should have gone to the bank. And the grocery store. 

But I didn't. I'm glad I didn't.

When my kids get older, I'm certain they won't remember me as the cleanest, most organized and neatest mom. But I'm hoping they will remember me as the mom who took time away from everyday duties to sit with them and enjoy my time with them as we create lifetime memories together.  

From my youngest little guy, who is 6, to my oldest niece, who is 20, my moments with each is invaluable, both to me and to them. Time spent together developes strong relationships. I see how the time I have spent with my niece over the past 20 years has developed into a most amazing relationship and I know that it was time well spent. My goal is to have that with my own children as well.

So tomorrow I will continue on with my to-do list, but I have a feeling that there might be a few interruptions; important interruptions. And I will embrace them.

KC

He loves me anyway

I didn't get Christmas cards out this year. It's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last. I really wanted to and two months ago I had every intention of getting pictures done and gorgeous cards created and getting them mailed out shortly after Thanksgiving. Yep - amazing intentions.

But, alas, no cards. 

You know, every once in a while God reminds me that I'm not perfect, that I'm far from it, and that's okay because otherwise I would have no need for Him. (Well, it's more like a daily reminder, or maybe 10x daily.) 

I am constantly falling short. Not just in something simple such as Christmas cards, but in being a wife and a mom and a friend. And especially in being a child of God.

Well, maybe I'm not quite failing at this child of God thing. He never asked me to be perfect. He never expected that of me. It was never a prerequisite in order to be His child. He looked at all that I was, good and bad, and all that I was going to be, good and bad, and claimed me as His own.

Lately my shortcomings have been staring me right in the face. I'm constantly seeing what I've done wrong and how I should have done something better. But the amazing thing is the underlying knowledge that God doesn't leave me when I fail. He's still right there with me. 

I found this quote on Pinterest:

I don't deserve that. The gratefulness that flows out of me for that is immeasurable. And what does a person do with such a big amount of gratefulness? I strive! Strive to do what it is that God would have me do. 

But here's the warning: I'm gonna fail again. I guarantee it. But just know that this imperfect gal is still striving.

KC

failing at momhood

There was something about today, as if today was intended to be a difficult day for mothers. I don't know what was in the air but I know I wasn't the only facing my limit of sanity with my kids today! I saw and spoke to 4 or 5 different moms today and witnessed their frustration with their kids who were driving them bonkers! 

I used to think that my kids made me upset or made me yell at them. It was their fault I was in a bad mood. I still often want to blame the naughty little stinkers for all the frustrations in my day. But when it comes down to the plain truth, my kiddos are just helping to expose my very own weaknesses. Yes, I raised my voice and was short with my kids today. I lost my patience more than once (ok, more than 4 times) with them today. Were they angels? No. Far from it! But I was by no means an angel in how I handled their behavior today either!

I've seen this phrase a few times and every time I do, I just want to raise my hands and say, "TRUTH!"

Every. Single. Day.

But let me tell you something that was shared with me many years ago and that I shared with a dear, dear friend today. 

When we look at our failures as moms and add up all things that we're messing up, we have to make sure we include God's grace in the equation. That grace goes a lot farther than you might think!

Goodness, mommies, we are trying our best to do right by these little gifts that God has given us the privelege to raise! And although perfection is a long, impossible way off, our hearts are in the right place, striving to go the right direction. I am convinced that God sees our heart, despite our failures. 

And I know He gives moms that extra measure of grace. You know how I know?

Because in my mind, I remember my mom being pretty much perfect at her job of momhood. But in her mind, I know she still reflects back on her failures and what she might have done differently. And that combination right there, my dear friends, is the result of grace.

And if you think you are all alone in this "failing at mommyhood" thing. Believe me, you're not! I am right there with you, along with a whole bunch of my mommy friends. 

So keep striving, moms! As long as you're seeking his will as a mom, God's got you convered.

KC

the strength within

Over the past couple of years I've realized something about myself: I am strong. Not necessarily physically strong, but mentally and emotionally strong. And as a woman, that is an valuable thing to be.

When I was younger, I wasn't mentally or emotionally strong. I was extremely sensitive. I was very shy. I was plagued with fears, nervousness, and anxiety. That was a tough world to live in, especially through Jr. High and High School. Fortunately for me, God put some crucial people in my path so that I could survive amd eventually climb over many of those walls. 

Looking back nearly 20 years ago (oh my goodness...I feel so old right now) to when I was in high school, (no offense to those of you who have been out of high school longer than me, it was just a sudden reality check) I was a completely different person. But a lot can happen in a couple of decades.

Moving away from the security of home

A broken heart

Shattered self esteem

Severe anxiety

Sickness and death of people I love

Loss of friendship

Feeling like a failure

Sacrifice of self

And about 20 other very personal things that you don't want to hear about.

As I sit here and think through some of the most difficult times that I have experienced, I realize that God was moving in every single one. He never let me walk through a tough situation without teaching me a valuable lesson, the most important one being that I could make it to the other side of a tough situation!

I have had a few tough things thrown at me lately and wondered how I was surviving. In the past I would have wanted to crawl in bed and not look at life at all (because avoidance is the best way to handle real life...) but not these days. I have been through enough now to know that God's got this. He'll pull me through, even when I'm pretty sure I won't make it. 

He has grown me into a stronger woman, one who can look at this world and all it's terribleness and I can say, "I got this." But only because I am not handling it by myself.

Ok, this was too cute not to share: 

Go be strong.

KC

spread smiles

Have you read the book about Love Languages? I think I did but it's been years and it's very possible I have just heard so many people talk about love languages that I just think I've read the book! Whatever the case, I think I figured out my love language: encouragement or words of affirmation. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

Have you ever complimented a random person in the grocery store on their hat or shoes or purse? And did you see their smile?! You know it made their day. You know how I know this? Because people have done this to me! 

One compliment can turn my foul mood into a sunny outlook on life for the rest of the day. One word of encouragement during a job I am trying to complete can make me push and work harder and better. One kind word can stick with me and push me to accomplish great things (great to me, anyway), in my day.

We need more kind, uplifting words, more encouragement, more compliments and smiles in our world. Have you ever noticed how many people are driving around town just grumpy and stuff? I can't tell you how often I've caught someone's eye, smiled at them only to have them continue frowning and pretty much ignore me, as if they didn't see the big goofy grin on my face. Honestly, people, it may not be the perfect smile, but it's hard to ignore. There's teeth and happiness all over my face. 

(Yeah - that's exactly how I look!)

I know I've written about this in the past, but I think it's worth the reminder. When you see something about someone that is worth complimenting them on, do it! You never know what affect your words could have on a person. 

KC

a needed name

Currently I am waiting in line at the pharmacy to pick up a couple of prescriptions. When I got here there were over 25 people in line ahead of me with 2 working the counter. I don't have time to stand here and wait, but I have no choice. Augh!

This week life got crazy busy. There were times when I felt like I could barely breathe through all I had to do. This is one of those moments. I can count how much I have to do in the next 15 hours and somehow still manage to get some sleep before I head out of town for a couple days. 

What do you do when you can't breathe?!

There has only been one thing this week that has kept me from giving up on everything. Because, let me tell you, the thought of throwing my hands up and saying, "forget it!!" has crossed my mind a few times this week. 

But the little reminder that kept popping up in my mind was the fact that I was never doing it all on my own. All I had to do was whisper the name of Jesus and suddenly: peace. So simple. So quieting. Encouraging. Uplifting. Strengthening. 

It is amazing what that wonderfully complex name can accomplish just with a simple utterance. 

(Funny little addition to the story, well not funny then, but now it is. Or ironic...yeah. Ironic. 

Just after I finished writing the first portion of this blog, it was my turn at the counter and there was a problem with one of my prescriptions that can't be fixed until next week. This already stressed-out gal walked out after having taken a detour to get to the stupid pharmacy in the first place and waited in line for 40 minutes for NOTHING and called her husband and started to cry. 

This gal who had just written about the strength of Jesus name, had already completely put it out of her mind and became distraught.  

After calling my husband, (who has already solved my problem, by the way,) I got back on the road home and thought about my own words. The simple uttering of Jesus' name and the peace it brings. I fought back my tears and said His name and the strength came. 

I still find it funny how in writing this blog so often God is trying to teach ME something!)

Jesus - a name I need every day.

KC

2.5 hours later

Tomorrow I have a boutique that I am a part of every year. I have all these little details that I still have to take care of. Finish making a few wreaths, add some flowers, make a few more copies of our business cards, re-create our custom order forms... and about 20 other things. 

But what am I doing at 10:40 at night? Laying on my daughter's bedroom floor, helping her stay mellow so she can fall asleep. Every once in a while she gets beside herself with some kind of drama and she just needs my presence to help her fall asleep. I'm not even going to get into what tonight's drama was. 😳

(If you've never been formally introduced to my daughter, here is a little glimpse: http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com/2014/03/because-you-are-8.html and there are more posts about her but I am currently too tired to look for them...)

But that to-do list is still there in the back of my mind and I should be stressed out because I'm not doing anything!! But I'm not stressed. Why? Because I am where I am supposed to be: taking care of my daughter.

Tomorrow I might be a basket case. But right now my daughter needs me to be here for her. And that gives me peace regarding everything else in my life. Because everything else becomes secondary when it comes to being a wife and mom. (Although I will admit I'm not perfect at this...😁).

I guess that peace comes from knowing that if everything else fell apart in my life, but I was still taking care of my family, then everything would be okay. There is nothing more important in my life (after God), than what God has called me to do: love my family.

(Take note of when this post is actually published!) 

KC

the truth about kids

I have been blessed to be an auntie to 4 nieces and 4 nephews, ranging in age from 20 to 9. I love being an aunt! When my first niece was born, I raced to the hospital to meet her. If I remember correctly, I skipped out on playing in a volleyball game and made my best friend drive me! I adore my nieces and nephews. ❤️

We've tried to make our door always open to our nieces and nephews. For that reason my oldest brother's 2 kids, K and M, have spent a good amount of time at our house. When you spend a lot of time at someone's house, you tend to see the good, the bad, and the ugly! Our house has all three. 

Raising kids is not a an easy task. K and M have been witness to our struggles, our frustrations, our irritations, and the difficulties in being parents. We don't hide it from them. And the great thing is that they step in as older cousins to help teach our kids to respect and obey their parents, and sometimes they just help entertain the monkeys for us! 🙊 

But I've realized something: I need to make sure that I am also sharing the amazingness (is that a word? Doesn't matter - you get it) of being a parent. There is no joy like being a mommy. A parent's love is immeasurable. Everything I do, I do with my children (and husband) in mind. I would give my life for these two beautiful children we are raising. 

I won't deny that parenting is hard work. The tears I've cried, the heartbreak I have felt, the disappointment, frustration, and hurt that have come from being a mom are real. But those feelings are far surpassed by the fierce love I have for my children. 

It doesn't happen very often, but I lack the words to describe the depth of what it means to be a parent. It is....amazing. 

Being a parent is a gift of God, one that I am continually grateful for, even on the tough days.

KC

school's purpose

Today my kids were a royal pain in my neck. I'll be honest, there was nothing fun about homeschooling my two twerps this morning. And I told them that. Their attitudes had robbed the day of any enjoyment it could have had. I love homeschooling my kids. I love being their teacher. But only they can determine their attitudes toward it. 

I chatted with my husband about it this afternoon and he had a talk with them, like a good principal. He gave them a discipline and then set forth his expectations for tomorrow and what their consequences would be if they gave me more grief tomorrow. How awesome to have that support system in my husband.

He had them apologize to me. Which they did. 

And then it was my turn. 

I stood between the two of them and reminded them of my perspective as their teacher and their mother. I know I have goals to achieve and standards to meet. There are certain things I am required to do and work that I have to show. But these things do not strictly dictate the education of my children. They are simply guides for me. 

I told my children that the reason I teach them is so that I can fill their minds, grow their brains, and make sure they have all the education I can give them so that when God calls them to do something amazing in this world, they will be ready! 

There are so many other reasons as to why I am homeschooling my children, but I want them to see the value in learning. I want them to understand that the utmost reason for being an educated person is not so they can make the most money or be the smartest. It is so that they can be prepared for God's call on their life, whatever that might be. 

I, myself, am an example of this. I have a degree in education. With some guidance from my Mom, I followed my strengths and became a teacher. I have taught in many places at different levels. But I honestly feel that right now I am achieving the highest value for that education by homeschooling my kiddos. That is my calling and God knew that when He directed me down this path. 

I understand why my kids sometimes complain about school. It can be boring. It can be frustrating. But maybe if I just keep reminding them of the real purpose in going to school, perhaps they'll start to believe it themselves. You should have seen their faces when I told them that I was preparing them to do something amazing for God...

KC

monday

Tomorrow is Monday...or (depending on when you read this) today is Monday. I kinda like Mondays. It's a fresh start to see how much I can get accomplished before the end of the week approaches. But I know a lot of people are not Monday fans. Usually it means you're headed back to work.

I get that. I've got a couple of students who don't care too much for Mondays and they let me know it. (I'm talking about my homeschoolers, not my piano students!) Having a couple of whiny and moany "employees" can bring a Monday down pretty quickly. 

But you know what keeps me sane? It's something I learned long ago. When faced with a task that seems unpleasant or working with someone who is just a pain in the behind, going at it with the right attitude makes all the difference.

And the attitude is this: do everything you are doing as if unto the Lord. Some days I don't feel like fighting my kids to learn their math facts. But God asked me to and so out of obedience and love for Him, I'm going to teach those stinkin' math facts! 

I know there are ornery people in this world and there's a good chance you have to work with one or two of them. But God has called you to be there and to do your best work for Him. Maybe He is using you in ways that you can't even see! And doesn't a task seem so much easier to do if you imagine that you are pleasing God, and not some rude boss? 

I wrote another post about how this applies to marriage many months ago. I just went back and reread it and it made me laugh - who knew I was funny?! 

Anyway, here is a link to it if you are interested: http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com/2013/11/as-to-lord.html

Let me leave you with this bit of encouragement as you face another Monday (and don't you forget it!):

Happy Monday, y'all!

KC

the everyday gift

Today is a great day. One set aside to give thanks for all our blessings. Traditions, food, family, pie, games, and all that. These are all wonderful things.

But long ago I learned two very important things about Thansgiving:

1. Giving thanks shouldn't just happen on Thanksgiving Day, but everyday because there is always something to be thankful for.

2. The ultimate thing to be thankful for, the one thing I can always find within myself to be thankful for, no matter what the situation is this: that God, through his son, provided a way for me to someday leave this world full of sorrows, of sickness, of heartache, and tears so that I could join him in heaven, a place so perfect that my feeble mind cannot even comprehend it. 

Salvation - there is nothing I am more grateful for than this. 

And everyday I am grateful for this gift.

KC

be there

I have a list of topics to write about. God has been extra inspiring these last couple of weeks, despite how exhausted I have been. However, my mind is is consumed by the loss my friend must be experiencing. She and her husband and their 4 kids had to say good-bye to their 17-year-old son this week.   

What do you say to that? How do you figure out the right words to say? What message do you send? There is nothing. Absolutely nothing you can say to make it better.

But, you can be there. 

I'm not always very good at this because I always think I have to have the right words to say, so sometimes I stay silent. 

But to be quite honest, I don't really remember the words that people said to me when my Dad died. I just remember them being there. I remember the hugs. I remember the expressions of sorrow and the tears.

I remember people being there.

Just be there.

And when time has passed, be there again. Because even with my Dad being in heaven for 7 years, I still want to talk about him. I want people to remember him. I want to hear stories and know that he was and is still loved. 

If you don't know what to say, just be there. 

KC

you never know when

I tend to try and keep things light here on my blog, but tonight my heart is heavy.

A friend from many years past is in the midst of a experience I couldn't even fathom going through. I know very little about the situation except that her teenage son was in a car accident and is currently on life support. 

Another dear friend of mine has a son who is medically fragile, and as he approaches his 15th birthday, they face a transplant rejection as well as a fight against cancer. Every day he fights for his life.

This week a prominent figure in our town passed away suddenly. A friend of mine wrote this on Facebook regarding his passing: Life is short. Hug the ones you love and be ready to meet our Maker. 

Today I was watching my son walk from the truck to the house and suddenly my heart was overwhelmed. First with immense and fierce love followed quickly by the thought that had been forming in the back of my mind for the past couple of days: what if I lost him? What if I lost either of my children?

Unfathomable.

(Even as I write this, I have to keep leaving this page to allow myself to get distracted elsewhere. I keep losing my focus, but dealing with this subject is just too much).

Honestly, I'm not sure what my point is in writing this. Maybe someone needs to be reminded that life's too short to let petty things stand in the way of a relationship. Or maybe to remind someone to go visit their mom. Or maybe to grab those children and hug and squeeze them more often. Perhaps it's time you thought about what's going to happen when you die, or if one of your children passes on - do you know where you're going? Or where any of your loved ones are going? Don't live with regrets. Value your time with those special to you. Make memories together. Listen to the urgings that God is putting on your heart.

Heavy, I know.

I'm sorry...

But sometimes we need the heavy to remind us of the important.

KC

cutting my tree

They came and cut my tree this week. My one beautiful tree in the backyard, the one whose leaves all turn this bright, unashamed yellow and seem to twinkle on a windy day. Half of my tree is gone. It is so difficult for me to watch beautiful things get cut away.

They did it to my tree a few tears ago too. We had just bought the house and before I even had the chance to enjoy the tree, they hacked it to what seemed like nothing. I tried not to cry. They assured me that it would look even better in the spring when the branches grew in and filled with leaves. I tried to believe them. I tried. But I was still sad.

Sure enough, next spring as the leaves and branches filled in, our tree was a perfect shape, so full, so bright and cheery. Because those tree trimmers, they knew what they were doing when they cut back the branches. And they could see what they future held for that tree when it would start to have new growth: beauty. 

And such is my life. 

It's tough when God starts to do some trimming in my life. He takes people and things out of my hands and out of my life. And out of my CONTROL. I am not a fan of things being out of my hands. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a control freak. I just don't like not having a say in things.

But when He does, I try to remind myself that He knows exactly what He is doing. He is making room for new growth, for bigger and better things to happen in my life. And He can see into the future and know that it's all going to be good.

And my job through the cutting and the trimming: to trust Him. 

It hurts. There are times when the trimming hurts so bad that I feel like I can't breathe. But on the backside of every "trimming of the branches" in my life, I can see bits and pieces of the reasons He trimmed them away. Sometimes I don't fully understand, but He does and that's enough for me.

So when I look at my skinny little tree outside, I know that in the spring, it will be back to it's full gorgeous self once again.

KC

so much the same, but not really

For most of my life, I've tried not to make generalizations, especially about men. If you look just for a few minutes, you will find a bunch of memes/quotes/ecards that place guys into some kind of jerk-shaped box. I know the same exists for women as well. We are all high maintenance, overly emotional creatures who become horrible people when we pms. Am I right? Yes I am - I'm a woman; we're always right (opposite generalization - is that a thing?)

 

I found a couple of funnies about this subject: 

You see? What a bunch of sillyness. Each of us was created so differently. There might be a bunch of jerks in this world, but I know a whole lot of guys who aren't, especially my husband. (Does that mean he's never been a jerk? I can't say that. It just means that's not how I categorize him.) And many girls do a pretty good job of keeping their emotions in check, but yeah, they can get a little over the top once in a while. However, some of those emotions are pretty legit and actually offer a lot of good. 

(This one really cracks me up):

I do have to admit, there are distinct differences between guys and gals. Men tend toward the side of logic. Women toward the emotional side. Men can often compartmentalize things in their heads whereas girls tend to connect everything with...well, everything. Men often use less words and are direct. Women usually use more words and dance a little bit around what they are trying to say. 

(But even in all that, I recognize that not every man fits the "guy mold" that I just laid out there and ditto for the gals.)

My husband and I are built different. God had that figured out for the two of us long ago. And there are times when we butt heads because of our differences. That is inevitable. 

However, there are times when our differences perfectly balance each other out. And we are aware of this and use it to our advantage in our relationship. If I feel overly emotional about some drama, my guy is a great sounding board. He helps bring it all into focus. And sometimes when the numbers just don't add up logically, my husband needs a little bit of an emotional input to help make a decision. When I am feeling weak and insecure, he speaks strong truths into my life. And when his words seem like they could be harsh, he bounces them off of me first so that I might soften them before he speaks them.

Those differences that can drive us crazy are the same ones that can strengthen our marriage. You just have to make the choice together as to whether you both use the power for good or for evil...

KC

not what I expected

In the movie Moms Night Out (just gonna warn you - I'm probably going to quote this movie frequently. It is just too relatable), there is a line that the mom says that is pretty much an exact quote of what I have told my husband numerous times. 

I have felt guilty admitting this. Heartbroken also. But it is the truth. 

Here is my version of the quote:

Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was grow up and be a mommy, but it's not at all what I thought it would be.

*sigh* 

Playing pretend as a little girl, I loved being a mommy to my dolls. I had a little kitchen set and I would cook for them and feed and burp them. I would change their clothes and put them down for a nap. My heart was full when I pretended to be a mommy. I just knew that's what I wanted to do. My Mom was a fantastic mom. I wanted to be the same. Going to a 4 year college was just something I did as a just-in-case, precautionary sort of thing. 

And then mommyhood actually happened. We took our munchkin home from the hospital and started figuring out what we needed to do for the 3 of us to survive. We thought it'd get easier as Jayne got older. Not really. There's always just another stage to work through. Then we added Lincoln. Two little ones to grow. 

Potty-training

Pre-school

Temper tantrums

Playing nice

Choosing friends

Making good choices

Eating good foods

Lying

Sneaking

Bad attitude

Bad language

Complaining, whining, moaning, groaning 

Being lazy

Disobeying

Rebelling

Too much TV

Too many electronics

Go outside to play!!

Quit talking back to me!!

Because I said so!!

AUGH!!!

Oh my goodness - so many hard things! So many battles. So much frustration. So much exhaustion. So many things we didn't anticipate. 

Being a mommy was not just cuddles and coos and snuggles and "I love you's."  It was, and is, really hard work.

But the results are so much more than I anticipated:

The amazing connection in the first few days of our children's lives

Watching milestones in the first year of their lives

Eating

Sitting up

Crawling

Walking

Talking

Watching their personalities blossom

Seeing kindness

Thoughtfulness

Generosity

Patience (oh wait, that doesn't really develop as much until you become a parent!)

Watching them become responsible

Make friends

Listening to their plans for their future

Dreaming with them

Hugs

Kisses

Snuggles and cuddles

"I love you"

Hearing them accept Jesus as their Savior

Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do was grow up and be a mommy, but it's not at all what I thought it would be.

It's more.

So much more.

KC

a comedy that moved me to tears

The other day I watched a movie in the middle of the afternoon. I never do that! I mean, afternoon is prime time for getting stuff done! But it was Sunday so I don't feel guilty. The crazy thing is that football was on TV, but my husband didn't say a word when he came into the family room and I was watching this comedy. He's amazing.

By the end of this totally relatable and utterly hilarious movie, I was bawling my eyes out. And not because of laughter. But the story hit home so strong that I couldn't help myself. 

Let me get a raise of hands for all the moms who have seen Moms Night Out.... (Beverly Henry - thanks for prompting me to see this one!)  As far as I'm concerned, every mom needs to watch this movie at least once a month. The messages that are in this movie are absolutely true. And we need to be reminded of them on a regular basis.

The two biggest points that hit me the hardest were these:

1. Being a mom is HARD work.

2. We, as moms, set our own standards for ourselves SO high that we can never achieve them and will always fail. 

As the movie was coming to an end, as the tears started falling, I realized my tears were tears of relief. Because if a movie this mainstream had those points to share, then it must be true. I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who thinks this mommy thing is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. It challenges every part of me: my emotions, my mental state of mind, my physical being (carrying a flailing 8 year old up a flight of stairs to put her in her room takes every ounce of strength I have!) Everything about me is affected. 

And the truth in realizing that I am placing unrealistic standards for motherhood on myself. Nobody expects me to do what I expect myself to do. I'm really hard on myself. I need to lay off myself! 

If you have the chance to see Moms Night Out, do it. It's at RedBox right now. I'm gonna buy it and invite mommies over to watch it with me. Because we all need to be reminded that our job is pretty important and that if is worth all the blood, sweat, tears, and prayers that we are putting into it.

Who's up for a movie night next week?!

KC

make the best of the worst

Life doesn't always go the way I plan it to. Nowadays it seems it rarely does. That used to drive me crazy. I wanted to have things under control and make sure that everything in life went smoothly. But you throw kids in the mix of life and you find that planning often gets thrown out the window! Plus all the other hic-cups that happen that are completely out of your hands....

So I learned to roll with the punches. I try not to let the negative experiences in life drag me down. I strive to look for the best in the worst. 

I found some pictures of people who made the best out of the worst:

Inner tubing on a flooded street.

 

Not going bald! Mowing away the hair!

Oh goodness, if my child drew on the wall...

Cracked phone screen

This is probably my favorite - that huge scratch can now be attributed to a dinosaur!

 And then I found this quote:

Amd this one:

Oh, the value of perspective!

KC

thorns and heaping coals

So you know when you have someone in your life who feels like a thorn but you can't get rid of them and you have to deal with them everyday and you cannot see an end in sight for dealing with all their garbage and it just plain stinks? And you just want to be a thorn right back to them or quit your job or the relationship or run far, far away? 

Rotten deal, I know.

But that is life.

Sometimes you can make changes that dismiss this person from your life. But sometimes you can't. And then you have a choice.

Let their thorny-ness ruin your life. 

Or not.

So what I discovered in seeking out scriptures to support this idea turned out to be pretty stinkin' rad (and I use the word "rad" to bother my niece who thinks it shouldn't be used anymore/again and I utterly disagree because I think it is an awesome word and because I'm getting old and I just don't care). 

In Proverbs 25:21-22 it says this: "if your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. For so you will heap coals of fire on his head, and The Lord will reward you." 

In my mind I always thought: "Ha! Kill 'em with kindness!!" Some kind of vengeful feeling always accompanied that scripture in my mind...

But in reading a little more in depth today I discovered a little different meaning. I will simplify what I read because it's late and that is reason enough. Essentially, by heaping coals upon the head and heart, the idea is to burn away all ill will so that they will be compelled to love you. And yet another gem: for or not to consume but to melt away into kindness. 

That completely changed the mental picture I held in my mind! So instead of someone's mean face kinda melting away, I now see all their yuckiness (I apologize for that but "yuckiness" is the only word that is coming to this mommy's mind) just sort of melting away and a big broad smile breaking out on their face. 

So instead of returning evil for evil, maybe it's time to heap coals of kindness upon them and see where that takes you.

All I know is that if someone brought me Starbucks on a regular basis and fresh flowers every couple of weeks, amd volunteered to babysit my kids once a week, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to hate them for very long...

KC

And lest you think you might possibly be the thorn I am writing about, don't worry, you're not. I was just prompted to write about this and so I did. 

funny stuff

Okay, you all - the weekend is getting close. Smile a little!!

I'm getting very good at this. 😉

We generally don't live by the 5 second rule. 

The Daddy of our house works in a lab. 

Enough said.

Ummmm....😁 no comment!

That's funny, right there!

Sad truth. 😩

Never gonna happen. 🍫😋

And on that note...😴💤

KC

smack dab in the face

Ok. I was just hit smack dab in the face with faith. I know what faith is. I know how to live a life of faith. It is my way of life. But let me tell ya, it slipped to the back burner for just a bit and suddenly I'm back to relying on myself to make everything happen. To make sure things go how they are supposed to. To go how I want them to go. In control...imagine that. 

And you know what it got me? A whole lot of anxiety. Stupid, dumb, ridiculous anxiety. 

Worry has been a long-time acquaintance of mine. We go way back, as far as I can remember. Used to be that worry controlled my life. And that does not make for a very enjoyable life! 

But with the constant mentoring, teaching, and living examples from my Dad and Mom, and then eventually from my husband, I was able to understand what living a life of faith really meant. There's a phrase that goes, "Let go, let God." I think that was on a magnet on our fridge in my parents' home. Or on a bulletin board or somewhere where I saw it frequently! 

It came down to this for me: I could either do everything in my power to make something happen and then sit back and stress about it, or I could all the same things but give it over to God to let Him worry about the outcome. He's in control anyway. What's going to happen is going to happen whether I waste my time worrying about it or not. 

And the fact of the matter is this: if I am worrying my little heart out, then am I really trusting that God knows what He's doing? Even if things don't go according to my plans, that doesn't mean that it is out of God's hands. 

When my Dad was sick, God brought our family a scripture that has been one of my favorites ever since (although I will admit I have lots of favorite scriptures so if I call another scripture one of my favorites, that's why.)  Jeremiah 29:11 says this: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Now He and I might not always agree on the plans, but I do have to have faith that He knows what He is doing. He is God, afterall.

So all these little things that have been waking me up in the wee hours of the morning, the things that have been distracting me at home, the things that make me a little irritable (only a little 😉), those are the things I need to combat with faith. To do what I can and give the rest over to Him. 

I think this one right here is what caused the "smack dab" in the first paragraph of this post: 

Truth.

KC

leaning toward grace

Tonight I'm battling the feeling of failure. This happens on a pretty regular basis for me. It's just so easy to look around and see all the ways that I fall short every single day. My house, my kids, my routines and organization (both of which leave a little to be desired), my spouse, my job, my friendships... Every day I am faced with knowing that I could be doing better at one (or 10) of my responsibilities. 

That feels overwhelming. And frustrating. And discouraging. And I don't like feeling that way.

The crazy thing is that my family is not placing unrealistic standards in my life. My husband appreciates me and loves me for who I am. My kids love to spend time with me...even when I'm not so enjoyable! I'm pretty sure most of my students actually like coming to piano lessons and my friends keep calling and texting and wanting to spend time with me... So where does that feeling of failure come from?

Me.

I  get down on myself when I can't seem to get a project (like cleaning out a closet) completed. I get frustrated with a to-do list that is 10 feet long (I write big). And then there is homeschooling. That is just a world full of doubt and insecurities! The birthdays that I missed. The workout I should have done. The money I should have saved. The healthier lunch I should have served...although I do so love Kraft MacNCheese. 😋

It is SO easy to get caught up in what I am not getting accomplished, what I'm doing wrong, what I'm missing. It can be difficult to see the good, to see the victories, the fruit, the accomplishments. 

And the grace.

I'm trying to be perfect at everything. How ridiculous of me. Impossible. I'd need 25 of me working without sleep to make that happen, and even then...

If I were perfect, I'd have no need for a Savior, for someone like Jesus to lean on. And let me tell ya, I do like that feeling: leaning on Jesus and soaking up His ever present grace.

KC

amazing

You ever look at someone who has done something amazing with their life and think, "Wow! They are amazing! I'll never be as amazing as that..."  I do. All the time. 

But that's kind of a stinky way to live life: constantly thinking that God is doing amazing things in other people's lives, but not your own.  Because that's just not the truth.

I have friends who have adopted children. Others who have started incredible charitable organizations. Others who get up onstage and perform with talents I could only dream of posessing. Friends who run not only half marathons, but whole ones too! Do you know how many miles are in a whole marathon? 26ish. That's ridiculous. 

I have friends who work full time and still come home to be incredible mommies with really clean homes - how is that even possible? And moms who have 4 kids and taxi them all over the Central Valley, creating these amazing, well-rounded children. And still others who take their families on mission trips to build homes in other countries and teach VBS while they are there. 

So, even though I still often fall into that "comparison" way of thinking, God constantly reminds me of His truth:

He has a purpose for me. I don't always know what it is, but I know He is using me someway or another. And even when I don't see it, I know it's true because I gave myself to Him years ago to be used for His work. 

And the other important thing that I have to remind myself of is that God has equipped me with gifts, but they are different than other people's gifts. So I'll probably never run a whole marathon, or go on a whole family mission trip to Africa, or work full-time (out of the house, anyway) while maintaining a clean house - ha!, but that's okay. God's got other amazing plans for me...

Like raising two awesome children to do great things for Him.

Or igniting a passion for music in one of my piano students.

Or helping other moms realize that they are not alone in the crazy, emotional world of mommyhood as I pour out my heart in this blog.

It doesn't matter how big or little His plan seems, it is far-reaching and only God knows just how far our gifts will go. 

So let me just tell you: you are amazing!

KC

order of importance

For anyone who has known me for even a smidge of time, you know that I am a busy person. I like to live a full life. Sometimes to my own detriment, usually resulting in exhaustion and maybe a wee bit of stress. I just don't want to miss out on anything or anyone in this life! 

But I will tell you this: when it comes right down to it, I will always put God, my husband, and my children (in that order) before anything or anyone else. And they, in return, and out of love for me, share me. 

When life gets a bit to busy for me, I have to step back, prioritize, and then choose what is best for my family. Sometimes that means saying no to something I really wanted to do. And sometimes it means saying yes to something I really don't feel like doing. 

Now I know not everyone agrees with that order, but I think it's the best. Here's just one reason why:

God gave me these children to raise for just a little bit of time and they must be one of my primariy focuses while they are living with me. However, once they are moved out of this house, I would hate to have forgotten about my husband during the previous 18 or so years. I mean, we have a lifetime together and we need to keep working on it even during the youth of our children. That way when they move out, we will have a strong relationship already cultivated. But, sometimes man fails. Sometimes my husband and/or children are not perfect. But God is. He is always there for me. He never fails. 

So my God, my unfailing Savior, my Creator who is always there for me, will always take first place in my life. 

My husband, the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with (which is an awfully long time for him to put up with me) will always take the second place in my life.

And those precious little hearts, my children will always take the third placed in my life. 

And where do I fit in? How do I prioritize myself in this list? I think that is a blog post for another day...😴

KC

sisterhood

Last week was kind of a crazy week for me. Well, more crazy than usual! On top of the regular homeschooling, piano teaching, household junk, and mommy and wifey stuff, I subbed for two days. PE.  And socially, the calendar filled up mighty fast as well, and if you know me at all, you know I try hard not to miss out on a social event (must be a homeschooling mentality). By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I was watching a TV show with my husband with my eyes closed. 😴

Even through the busy-ness, I have to say that I was truly blessed. I have wonderful sisters-in-law. I know not everybody can say that, but mine truly step in as sisters for me, which is especially great for me because I don't have any biological sisters (although my Mom will tell you that I did beg for a younger sibling!) 

Two of my SILs were willing to watch my kids on the days that I was subbing. As it turns out, only one ended up having an open schedule to do so. But let me tell ya, I was ever so grateful that she could step in at the last minute to have them. And, although I knew she was doing me a favor, I loved that she was actually excited to have them over. That warms a mom's heart. 😊

Now my other SIL didn't even know it, but she was a life-saver for me as well. When I came to pick up her girls amd bring them to church one evening, out she came with a little meal all packaged up for my family - one of our favorites: white chicken chili and cornbread. And as it so happened, I had no time to prep for dinner the next night so I pulled out her meal, warmed it up, and my family scarfed it down. 🍲🍞

And after the craziness of Thursday and Friday, I woke up in a funk on Saturday. I couldn't pull myself out of it no matter how many pep talks I gave myself. I shot a quick little text to a dear friend of mine and within a couple hours she had called me and got me a gigglin and I was right as rain! 😜

Can I just tell you what a blessing a sisterhood can be? It might be close friends or biological sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, in-laws, or your mom. Doesn't matter who, but these woman provide a little something that a guy typically doesn't understand. And I think that's okay. 

I experience this almost daily: a phone call or a text, a message on Facebook or an invite to a night out. So often, it comes just when I need it! Amazing how God prompts the right people at just the right time! 

I know there are times when someone is suddenly on my mind or heart and I feel the need to send them a little encouragement or a something to make them smile. I used to ignore the promptings, thinking the person receiving it would think I was weird or out of the blue in sending it. But I don't anymore. I figure that God has placed them on my heart for a reason, so I better follow his prompting. 

You ever have that? A little bit of joy from a good friend just when you needed it? Or someone who stepped in to help just when you thought you couldn't do it on your own? 

Thank the Lord for sisters!

KC

it's not perfect

When my dear friends ask me how homeschooling is going these days, I always respond with, "Great!" or "I love it!" or "There are so many blessings we are getting from it." 

But one answer you will never hear from me is that homeschooling is going perfect. 

Because it's not.

It never does and probably never will.

Homeschooling does a number on a parent's head, let me just tell you. We are not superheroes, by any means. If anything, we are constantly shown our weaknesses day in and day out. We worry that we are missing some important aspects of education or that we are too far behind in our subject matter. We don't get the luxury of just being regarded as teachers. Our children will always look at us as "Mom" which brings a whole lot more whining, moaning, and complaining than what you would get in a classroom. 

I raise my voice more than I care to admit. My children get sent to the principal's office at least once a week (i.e. a conference with Dad resulting in some type of discipline and the words, "Quit giving your mom such a hard time!") I struggle to separate my household duties from my educating time because laundry, groceries, dishes, and a dirty house are always staring at me. And every single ideal that I have set from the beginning of the school year, I have fallen behind in (which is why I try to set high standards to begin with!)

I need recesses too. And I don't get enough during the day time. Currently, I am in my room after telling my children that I need a break and don't want to see them for a while. I'm sure they are watching Power Rangers or Pokemon, but I don't care. We can mark that off as Special Interests in our education requirements. (Just kidding - we experience a lot of Special Interests, but in my homeschool world, watching TV shows just doesn't qualify!) 

When I say things are going great, I'm not lying. There are times when I step back from the chaos and it is easy for me to see the blessings...but that's a whole other blog post. 

So you all can feel free to take me off of any pedestal that you might have considered putting me on. I don't deserve it. Each of us answers the call that God puts on our hearts according to His will and His guidance. Mine just happens to be this crazy, upside-down world of homeschooling. 

And even though I usually feel like I'm failing at it, I still love it. 

KC

big ears

When I was younger (high schoolish age), my friends would often come to me when they were going through tough or frustrating situations. We would sit and I would listen as they vented their emotions about whatever they were going through: unfair parents, rude classmates, horrible teachers, fights with a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

At that point in my life, I didn't have much experience in...well...life! I was a high schooler, for Pete's sake. So I wasn't really able to offer much advice. But I would listen and nod my head when appropriate and say, "Uh-huh," a lot. I didn't think that made me a very good friend until someone told me that it was wonderful that I had such big ears.

I don't have big ears. They're actually quite petite. However, I was a good listener and sometimes that's all a person needs is a good listener, someone with big ears. 

Sometimes it just feels good to talk and get it all out of your head. And as you talk, things start to make more sense. And sometimes you need to know that someone sees your side of things, when it seems like everyone else disagrees. Sometimes you just need someone to be there. 

Nowadays, I have a bit of experience to glean advice from (most of the gleaning I have done from older and wiser people). However, just because I can speak, doesn't mean I should. And learning the difference between those two things can be tough. 

Some of the most difficult times for me have been when I didn't know who to talk to, who to trust with my intimate emotions, who would understand. But I knew that God was always there to listen. I could show Him my anger and frustration, share my disappointments, and express my desires. And He listened every time. And I knew He listened, because when I finished my conversation with Him, I felt the weight of it all lifted from my shoulders. 

1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.

KC

lifesavers

So we had just finished having pizza with a dear family who we are blessed to have a friends. My little family is piled up in the truck and my daughter asks, " Mom, why do you have to go out every Monday?" 

Now almost every Monday I head over to one of my dear friend's houses to hang out for a couple hours. It's nothing crazy. We go under the guise that we watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but truth be told, I don't think I've ever paid attention to an entire episode. And as of late, there's nothing on the TV when we get together, usually just music. It just kind of got to the point wher we realized that our conversation together was much more valuable than what was on the TV.

So when my daughter asked that question, my initial reaction was: I'm an adult and I don't have to give an account to my 9 year old! But my husband encouraged me to explain.

Here's my excuse, but not my reason: I homeschool. I see my kids all day and then jump right into piano lessons. Sometimes there is soccer practice or Calvary Kids, and there is always dinner to be made.  I think I deserve an evening where I can just sit back and relax with my gals. 

But here's my reason, and this is what I told my daughter: friendships are important. After God, my husband is my #1 priority, followed quickly by my children. But friendships are valuable too. When I get together with my gals, we laugh and giggle. Tonight there might have even been a few tears. We share, we bond, we relate as only women can do. And this develops friendships that that can be life saving at times. My gals will be there to pick me up, to encourage me, to understand, and to love me unconditionally. 

If you are blessed to have those relationships, nurture them. 

If not, seek them out. Good friends are life saving. 

KC

loaners

I have two kids, a daughter and a son. But they're not really mine. They don't belong to me. They are loaners. I suppose that all sounds a bit calloused until that is read in the light of truth.

My two beautiful children belong to their Heavenly Father. He picked them out specially for us and He gave them both to my husband and me as gifts. But with these two gifts came huge responsibility. 

When I view my children with the perspective that their little souls belong to God, I parent them with a completely different attitude. My ultimate goal is to raise these children as God wants me to, not according to what I feel like doing or not doing. I am held accountable not only to my husband and my two kids, but to God Himself.

That might sound a bit intimidating or overwhelming, but there is one great big perk to keeping this truth in mind. We are not doing the parenting alone. God is right there with us, helping us to hold our tongue and keep our voices from yelling. He's helping to guide our decisions in discipline and to help our kids make good choices. He reminds us to keep our selfish desires in check and He doles out extra measures of patience. 

Unfortunately, I am still human. Some evenings I look back at the entire day and think it was just a huge failure. But God's got enough grace to cover that and to help me get back at it again the next day. And even on my worst days, I think of how much harder if would be if God were not helping me and I am grateful. 

And I'm sure my kids are too!

KC

words

(This is going to be a shorty because after last night, I need gobs more sleep). 

As a kid, I was taught the hymns in church. That was our primary form of worship. Singing them over and over eventually wove them into my heart. 

As I got older, I realized that I really liked poetry. Certain poems would strike me personally and I would commit those words to memory.

In 8th grade, our Bible teacher had us memorize a series of individual verses from the Bible. We had to speak them into a recorder. These were key verses that emphasized the big picture of the Bible.

Now that I'm a little older, I realize that those words are tucked into my soul. When I sing one of the great hymns, the meaning has so much depth because those words have been with me so long. When I hear one of the poems I committed to memory, it strikes such a resounding chord. I memorized the words that meant the most to me. And the scriptures, oh the scriptures! Those key verses are applied daily in my life. They constantly come to mind as I deal with everyday life.

My point? Teach your kids words. Words that you want to stick with them the rest of their life. Repeat those words over and over so that they wear paths through your children's hearts and become familiar friends. Good words, valuable words, words with depth that will speak to them when needed. 

(Goodness, I felt like I was writing this to myself! Apparently I need the reminder too. Tomorrow's lesson: memorization!)

KC

such is the life of a mom

I'm writing this at approximately 1:00 a.m. You know why? Because I'm a mom and on this particular night that means no sleep. It also means that I missed out on a night out with my girlfriends. Tomorrow my eye will be twitching and I'll be surviving on copious amounts of caffeine. It won't be pretty, not one little bit...

Seriously, sometimes this is the truth. In my case, most of my adult responsibilities mean being a mom. That alone is overwhelming and immense. I am responsible for 2 little hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.   And sometimes, like tonight, that is not fun.

I remember particular stages in my kids life that were tough to go through: the first 2 weeks of their lives, (because, c'mon, learning to parent for the first time is scary!) getting our babies to sleep through the night, potty training (I don't need to say anything else about that), terrible twos (and in our case threes, fours, fives, sixes, sevens, and into her eights), fighting bedtime, picky eaters, constantly messy rooms...and our oldest is only 9. Lots more stages...

But these are all phases of life, things that are short-lived in the grand scheme of things. 

Tonight as I entered into what I knew would be a long night this particular phrase entered my mind as a reminder so I wrote it out: 

Yeah, tonight sucks. My little girl is miserable - (gluten issue), and so I am miserable. 

But it will pass. It is one night out of my life. There have been many and there will be many more.

Such is the life of a mom.

KC

not eye-to-eye

When my husband and I were first married, I found myself getting frustrated when we didn't see eye to eye on matters in our life. How could we disagree on so many things? We got married to each other because we were perfect for each other, right?

Finally, when I expressed this frustration to him he explained that I wouldn't want him to be just like me anyway. It would be like having a clone or a robot who did everything you told it to do. And that would be boring. And in a relationship of any kind, that's just plain impossible.

There are so many things in life to disagree on. Just spend a few moments on Facebook reading people's comments as they vent about what they think is so important. And then they get very upset when someone disagrees with them. Goodness, people; that's life. You will never find one person who agrees 100% with you all of the time. 

And that's where grace comes in. Sometimes you just can't understand a person's point of view. Or you completely disagree with their opinion. Having a bit of understanding to know when to keep your mouth shut and the grace to not rub it in their face just how wrong they are - that is a gift! One that not a lot of people exercise. 

Just like God, as He looks down at us imperfect little beings. There is not a single one of us who completely understands God and lives exactly how He wants us to live. Yet He has grace for our imperfections and allows us to learn from them.  And for me He has double the amount of grace. Sometimes I can't see the big picture He is working on because I am so irritated with the small details He has going on in my life. (I mean seriously, people - He's got me homeschooling...how much more patience do I need to learn?!) (And I hope you can understand the humor here because I do love to homeschool...most of the time...usually...)

Maybe you don't agree with me (which would be the perfect irony here), but I think that we would all get along much better if we each showed that extra measure of grace in our relationships....and on Facebook.

KC

cheesy vegetable chowder

Last night I made soup. Vegetable soup. Ingredients all touching each other and mixed together. It was tasty and delicious amazing soup. And what made it even more amazing: all four of us liked it...a lot!! 

I found this through Pinterest many moons ago. It was the first pin on my "food" board. It comes from Lulu the Baker's website. Here is the link if you'd like it directly from her: http://luluthebaker.blogspot.com/2011/09/cheesy-vegetable-chowder.html.  

Cheesy Vegetable Chowder

2 Tbs butter

1/2 C chopped onion

1 C finely chopped celery

1 Tbs minced garlic

4 C chicken broth

2 lg baking potatoes, peeled and chopped

1 Tbs flour

1/2 C water

2/3 C milk

2 C chopped broccoli

2 heaping C shredded cheddar cheese

Melt butter in a lg soup pot.

Add onions, carrots, celery and sauté over medium heat until tender.

Add garlic and cook 1-2 mins.

Add chicken broth and potatoes, bring to a boil and cook until potatoes are tender.

Mix flour with water, add, and simmer until soup is slightly thickened.

Add milk and broccoli and cook until broccoli is just tender.

Stir in cheese, allow to melt, and serve.

(I didn't take any pictures while making it and this was all that was left for me after my husband packed a few containers for his lunch this week!) 

KC