not perfection

This summer was crazy. Why? I can't tell you exactly except that it felt as though the calendar filled up faster than during the school year. Which is super crazy because during the school year, I home school my kiddos and drive them to all their extracurriculars and teach piano lessons and semi-decently maintain my wife and mom duties. So you would THINK that the school year feels busier but nope.
Summer's ridiculous.

But I noticed something interesting this summer: my motivation for just about everything was extremely diminished, and yet God was constantly teaching me through conversations with amazing friends and through podcasts that I was trying to listen to 10 minutes at a time and books that I was reading through one chapter a week. Even in the small spaces, He was teaching me. But I struggled because where in the world was my push and motivation to write?!

And then *click!* - it was time to write! (I don't always understand the rhyme or reason; I just try to go with it.)

There were a couple of constant messages that God has been whispering and shouting at me lately (depending on my attitude). I found a sign at Kirkland's in Turlock.( If you haven't been there, you must go there. The smelly packets of amazing scents make the visit totally worth it all by themselves! My house smells so incredibly calm and peaceful and comfortable and a whole bunch of things that aren't actually scents but make you feel like they should be. Trust me: visit Kirkland's.)
Getting back to the sign...
The sign currently hangs above my desk and says this:

LIVE BY GRACE
NOT BY PERFECTION

I should probably get that tattooed on the back of my hand where I will read it every day!
Why is it so difficult to get this through our minds?! Unless I'm the only one, in which case: Why is it so difficult to get this through my mind?! 

Maybe I learned this all wrong when I was a kid in church, but weren't we taught that it is by grace we have been saved, through faith and this is NOT OF OURSELVES, it is a gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.  

So here are the two things that bounce around in my head as I read that sign.

1. Self, (yes, conversing with my Self right here) stop trying to hold yourself to an impossible standard. Just know that you are going to fail and be okay with it. It is through those failures that we learn and grow. (Seriously, y'all: I just told my kids this a couple days ago. Practice what you preach, much, Self?)

2. Have eyes of grace. Okay,so here's what I mean: so if you picture your toddler trying to walk, but falling down, or your kiddo learning to ride their bike but they are super wobbly, or your teen is learning to cook or bake and the result is less than amazing, what do you do? Disown them? Tell them to find someone else to teach them how to ride a bike or make cookies? Scorn your toddler and tell them they will never learn to walk?
No - that's dumb.
We have the eyes of grace which looks at them with understanding and kindness and takes the time to teach them and encourage them.

So why don't we do the same with other people in this world? We place these expectations of perfection on others and when they don't reach those standards, we stop investing in them or scorn them or gossip about them... (Did that one hit home?)

I believe (and this is in part because I have this big log in my eye, compared to the little speck in yours) that we should constantly be wearing grace-colored lenses when we look at those around us.  The ones that soften the rough situations and give us the gentle words to say and remind us that we, too, should be looked at through the grace-colored lenses.

But maybe if you have a hard time doing that for everyone else, do you think you could at least put them on when you  look at me?!

KC

no rivals

Teaching moments!! I LOVE teaching moments.
I've been homeschooling for over 4 years now, I can't help it: my brain is just always searching for ways to educate my kids. It becomes a mentality, I suppose.  Can I get an AMEN! from my homeschooling mommas and poppas?!

Today's teaching moment happened in the truck ride home from the grocery store with my favorite little boy. We were listening to a song by Citizen Way.
(And now I'm going to go squirrel for a minute: A month or so ago, my kids and I had the incredible experience of seeing Citizen Way locally, in a very small venue. (P.S. My niece opened in worship for them!!) We had front row seats and got autographs and took pictures with the fellas and EVERYTHING! And even though all that personal stuff was super rad and amazing, the concert itself was truly touched by God in the best ways! So we bought t-shirts and their latest CD (2.0) and it is the only CD that plays in my truck.)

So we're listening to Citizen Way on the way home and the song "Rivals" comes on. And here's the chorus:
"When we look to the sun,
Our battle's already won.
We've got no rivals,
Cuz He's got no rivals.

No matter what comes our way,
We know we'll be okay.
We've got no rivals,
Cuz He's got no rivals."

Okay. So as I'm trying to come up with a way to explain this to my son, I start thinking of battles that we might fight and how God is on our side and we can't lose and blah-de-blah-de-blah cliche, cliche, cliche...

My sweet son is listening attentively as I try to paint this picture of who God is with words and then I explain it in a way that makes sense on his level and suddenly, the AH-HA!!! moment happens for me at the same time.

What is it about simplicity that makes things perfectly clear?

I know how cool it is that God is on my side. I know I'm never alone. But when I explained it to my boy, I painted a picture that made it clearer than the cliches that I had heard and said my whole life.

I told him to imagine that he was playing soccer and that God was on his team. No matter who your rivals are: you can't lose. Can you imagine playing any sport and God was player #1 on the team (because what other number would He be?!) - there is no chance that you're going to lose the game! It doesn't matter who is on the opposing team. In my brain, I pictured the devil and all his co-horts all dressed in red (because what other color would he wear?) coming up against God. It's completely laughable! It's like in the movie where Thor comes sliding in on lightning and lightning shoots out of his hands and Led Zeppelin plays in the background (pardon me, I just watched that scene on YouTube again... SO GOOD!) - ain't nothing gonna beat that!
(But let's not talk about Infinity War right now...)

And my son understood that God is big and I understood that God is SO big that I need to shoo away some fears and anxieties that continually swirl around my head. Because if we played soccer together, we wouldn't lose. So living life together: we're not going to lose. Even when it seems like we might be losing, God's got some trick up His sleeve to score another goal. He knows the game plan so He knows that we're going to win.

(Real life example in short: I had an anxiety disorder when I was younger. I thought my life was pretty much over. I learned how to deal with it, was able to move past it, and now I get to offer other people hope on the other side of an anxiety disorder. Talk about a losing game turned into a winner! All because God knew what He was going to do with me even when I thought I was losing.)

Teaching moment = learning moment for me.
Go figure.
That's typically how God talks to me.

KC