are you there, kc? it's me, God.

So apparently God is trying to tell me something, because He's bringing it up to me on a pretty regular basis. In devotions, on blogs, in books, conversation, and even on Pinterest!

Essentially the message is this: less criticizing, more encouragement. Specifically in regards to my kids.

When life gets frustrating, it's difficult to find a positive spin to put on situations. Is easy to point out how your children have failed when you are completely aggravated with them! It's much more difficult to swallow the criticism on the tip of your tongue and to find words of encouragement.

On my daily calendar (which has been on this page for 3 days) it says this: "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

In a book I am reading by Pam Farrel  and her husband, Bill,  entitled "The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make," I came across a paragraph that was the perfect example of our life right now. In it they talk about choosing to be consistent in parenting and discipline even when we are exhausted or frustrated or preoccupied or angry. For me that means keeping a level head in these situations. Sometimes I forget that being a good parent comes before anything else I deem important.

In a blog that I read regularly written by Jon Acuff, today's post was about how 1 negative comment + 1000 compliments = 1 negative comment. The criticism sticks.  It practically erases all positive words you might impart. I can think of examples of this in my own life!  In the comments of this particular blog, many parents mentioned how true this is when we are dealing with our own kids.  They hear the negative, not the positive.

A quote that was posted on Pinterest this week says this:
Oh give me patience
When wee hands
Tug at me with their
Small demands
And give me gentle
And smiling eyes.
Keep my lips from hasty replies
And let not weariness,
Confusion or noise
Obscure my vision of
Life's fleeting joys.
So when, in years to come
My house is still -
No bitter memories its
Rooms may fill.

Funny how God has been whispering these things to me for the past week - He felt no need to yell at me.  My, how I must try His patience, but He never gets exasperated!  And He's got a million other things to deal with (and by million, I mean a gabillion) and yet He lovingly takes the time to point me in the right direction.  

KC

amc's relay for life

I just wanted to promote one of my favorite events, coming up this weekend.  Ripon is hosting the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life.  This event is simply amazing.  Even if your life hasn't been touched in some way by cancer, you will find this weekend to be an emotional one.

The Relay begins on Saturday morning and will continue for 24 hours with people walking the track at the local high school the entire 24 hours.  The purpose for the continual walking around the track is to demonstrate that cancer never takes a break - and we will never stop trying to find a cure. 

During those 24 hours, various teams will be participating and will have mini fundraisers happening on the track.  There will be delicious meals available for purchase.  There will be entertainment on the stage.  There will be raffles and prizes to be won.  You will see men, women, and children wearing their purple shirts.  These are the amazing survivors of cancer. 

As I write about this event, many faces and names keep coming to mind of people who have been diagnosed with cancer just in the last year.  I heard somewhere that 1 in 4 people will be diagnosed with cancer.  Sometimes, when I am in a group of friends or family, I imagine the "what if".  What if it is one of us?  I look at my children and hope and pray that it will never be one of them. 

This year, I will not be able to participate because of a conflict in my schedule.  But as the day approaches, my heart aches to be there.  It has been a part of my life for nearly 7 years.  My children look forward to it every year.  We come home dusty and dirty and a bit tired from walking.  But it is worth it: we feel like we might just have accomplished a little something to help bring cancer to an end.

Five years ago, I had the privilege of being a Team Captain for the Relay while my Dad battled cancer (and when people say "battle," they truly mean that it is a battle to fight this war-waging disease).  Just about a month before the Relay took place that year, my Pa passed away.  To say that the Relay that year was emotional would be an understatement.  But that year, it became more to me than raising money to find a cure.

That year, it was about remembering and honoring those who had fought the fight.  It was about celebrating those who were walking survivors!  It was about cheering on those who were in the midst of their own battle.  (It is this way every year, but this particular year was when it became real to me.)

If you have a bit of time on Saturday (most of the events take place on Saturday, into the evening as well) and can stop by the Ripon High track, you won't regret it.  You might have to walk a little distance to get there, but it will be well worth it.

 And if you do, stop by and say "hi" to my wonderful gal pals who are walking on the MOMS Club team!  I did get to make some signs for the activities that they are doing.  So a little bit of me will be there.  Look for these signs:

 

If you'd like to see the schedule of events for those two days, click here and scroll down, way down.   Or to go to Ripon's main page, you can find it here.

KC

cherishing chubbiness

My almost 4 year old little boy still has chubby hands.  He says things like, "We found wots of widdle wolly-pollies at Gwandma's house today!"  He grabs my neck in really tight hugs.  He still holds my hand, actually reaches out to hold it because he still likes to.  He's still got a bit of a pot-belly.  I tell him often to stop growing up.  He tells me he has to grow up and talks about getting bigger, faster, stronger all the time.

Often times while out in public, older people (whose children have obviously grown up and left the house) tell me to cherish these years.  They grow up so fast. 

This used to really bug me - do they have any idea just how much work I go through (with my husband's help, of course, but this particular post is about me, not him...still got to give him credit, though) to raise these 2 kids?  Do they know how much sleep I have lost?  How much laundry I do now?  Do they understand the concept of cleaning the house while raising children?  It just doesn't happen because no matter what I have just cleaned up, one of my kids has come behind me 2 minutes later to MESS IT UP! 

Apparently, these kindly people have already lost brains cells.  They have forgotten the joys of trying to make your child eat dinner.  They certainly don't remember potty training.  Or switching your child from a crib to a bed that they can actually get out of... every 5 minutes... for an hour before they fall asleep.  They have forgotten the tantrums thrown in the grocery store that made you have to leave an entire cart full of groceries in aisle 4.  Or trying to get your child out of the habit of calling everything "poo-poo".  (I know - dirty language on such a clean blog!)  Cutting gum out of hair, fixing the crooked self-haircuts of your 4 year old and the cut she gave her 18 month old brother, removing every possibly breakable item from lower shelves, cleaning permanent marker off of table tops, putting the Tupperware back into the bottom drawer again and again and again, reminding your child to keep their skirt down, stepping on pointy little toys left in the middle of the floor: all things that these people have forgotten... maybe a result of post-traumatic stress disorder.

But I must get back to the statement a couple of paragraphs ago - this used to really bug me.  It hit me one day that maybe God was using these people as a reminder for me.  Being a parent is hard work.  It can be so frustrating.  It can bring out the worst in me.  Sometimes I honestly think I might go insane. Sometime I look back and wonder how I even made it through the day (obviously, it's always only by the grace of God). 

Setting aside the intentions of these folks who want me to "cherish" (although I do believe they are good intentions, I also think their memories are a bit selective), I believe they are little pokes from God to bring me back around to the good points of being a parent.  It is SO easy to get caught up in the negative, to let it ruin my day and my relationship with which ever child is currently pushing all my buttons at once.  But a comment from a well-meaning stranger always changes my perspective.  At least until the next child starts pushing buttons!

But in between the frustrations, I do look at my son's chubby little fingers and capture that picture in my memory.  I grab my daughter in tight hugs whenever I can because someday she probably won't want me to.  I hold the hand of my little boy every time he reaches for me and sometimes even when he doesn't.  I tickle my little girl as she squirms and kicks every which way.  I listen to the lisp of my boy when he tells me his little stories and a part of me wants that cuteness to stay forever.  When my girl sits and snuggles up to me on the couch just as I am about to get up, I remain for a bit because snuggling is the best.  And as we pray for dinner, I watch as my son grabs his Dad's hand and his sister's hand and she grabs for mine and I grab my husband's hand and I hope that we keep that habit up forever.  

KC

the beauty of t-shirts

I'm a t-shirt gal.  I like to dress nice, don't get me wrong.  But for comfort a t-shirt is where it's at!  And in the world of Pinterest,  I have found amazing ways to use t-shirts.  Very simple projects that give great results.  Today I worked on a bunch of jersey necklace/scarves (whatever you want to call them).  I had some custom orders to fill and then just started getting crazy (well, as crazy as you can get with a scissors, t-shirt, and glue gun).  Here are the results (most of theses were created today, a couple were created, well, not today):

This is the solo color version - little rosette on the side can be worn in the back as well.

Decided to do a few special school colors for one of the local schools.

Wasn't long before my daughter wanted one - here's her version.

I thought I'd do some varying colors myself and was very pleased with the results!

Wanted a textured variation - added knots.

And for a more "put together" look,  I tried my hand at braiding.

But I think this is my favorite.  I just like it.

So what's the moral of the story today?  Don't judge a book by it's cover.  (Huh?  How does that apply here?!)  You know: you take what looks to be a simple t-shirt and see what kind of beauty can be found in it?   

Or, we can look for the deeper meaning: don't judge people by how they look or even by your first impression.  Turns out that this gal I was "acquainted" with for a number of years and thought I didn't have anything in common with (and I'd venture to guess she felt the same way during our "acquainted" years) is now a very close friend of mine.  We get along famously!  It's amazing what  you can learn about someone just by spending a few minutes listening to them.

KC


'But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'"  1 Samuel 16:7

just so you know

Just so you know, anything about me that is wonderful, kind, thoughtful, generous, and all around amazing is not really of me.  Half a dozen years ago, I was slapped in the face with the realization that overall, I am not a good person.  Nope.  Just a sinful human being.  I make a lot of mistakes.  I do stupid things.  I don't think things through and get myself into a few major messes and quite a few minor ones.  I go where I want to go and do what I want to do a lot of the time, acting on my selfishness.  That stuff is me. 

Anything that is good in me is only that way because of God.  If there is wisdom coming from me, it's really coming from God.  If there is a thoughtful gesture, it's really because of the prodding of God.  If I seem very giving or generous, it's because God pushed me to be that way.  God = good.  KC = not so good.

When I was slapped (not physically, just metaphorically) a while back, it was because I had failed in some way at a friendship.  I can't remember all the details, but what I do distinctly remember was being held up to the standard of something that I wasn't.  Oh, I wanted to think that I was a good person, a great friend.  But in this failure, I harshly realized that I was very imperfect. Ooooh, the humility God was showing me.  Painful.

I have to admit that I still need to be reminded on a pretty regular basis that it is God within me that brings out any good.  All the junk is just me.  For example:

When I started writing this blog, I simply wanted to write what God was prodding me to write.  He's got messages to send out, not me.  But I constantly have to fight the "look what I wrote" to get to the "look what God's doing here."

I suppose that's often how it is when God starts to work through us to further His kingdom.  Satan's not very fond of us being used by God.  He works pretty hard to get in the way using, well, just using ourselves!  We get in our own way pretty good!

So it is with this blog:  I'll try to get out of the way so that God can do some good.  If it were up to me, it'd be a mess!

small town sweetness

When my husband and I were first married, we faced the decision of whether we would stay in the small town I was born and raised in, or if we would move on elsewhere.  Well, some things kind of landed in our lap in this little town and we felt it was God's way of telling us to stay... for the time being. 

Eleven + years and 2 kids later: we're still here!  Being part of this town has so many blessings.  Truly.  People smile at you, even if they don't know you.  They wave to let you through the stop sign first.  It is very likely that you will run into someone you know (or who knows your mom) while you are out grocery shopping.  The feeling of community is very prevalent here.  People bring meals to those who are sick or who have had a baby.  We support locally run businesses (the local coffee shop gals and owner know my name and my "usual").  We buy from the local fruitstands to support our farmers.  Parents watch out for each other's children.  If you run into someone you don't know here in town, just striking up a conversation with them will reveal how you are related to them or a friend of theirs.  Or perhaps that you went to school with their brother or neighbor.  And if you are looking for a referral on a housekeeper, electrician, painter, or piano teacher, all you have to do is ask at the library and they'll find someone who knows someone who does a great job at that.  Or just ask my Mom.  She knows just about everyone who lives here.

(Not that many of these things couldn't happen in a big city... it's just unlikely.)

My husband had to adjust to this life.  People actually do "Sunday drive" on Sunday.  And sometimes on Saturday... well, pretty much any day.  The restaurants close by 9:00, if not 8:00 on the weekdays.  It used to be many businesses were closed on Sunday.  But the slower pace of life suits us as well as the lack of superficiality that we found in other cities.  There are genuine people here, not interested in being better than all the rest, but who care about you and want to see you succeed.

Buuuuutttttt, on the other side of things: sometimes life in a small town isn't so grand.  Somedays it's nice that everyone in the town knows you.  Other days it's not so nice. When people know more about you than you know about yourself, that's a problem! 

I was chatting with someone today who told me something that nearly broke my heart.  Without going into detail, it was essentially someone accusing someone else of something they didn't do, because someone else said they did do it.  (See how silly that sounds just reading it like that?!)  Unfortunately, in a town like ours, Word Of Mouth (and I capitalize that because it's a big deal here) goes a long way.  This has the potential to be great, if you are perfect and no one has any complaints about how you do your business.  However, if you rub the wrong person the wrong way... watch out!

When situations like this arise, sometimes I feel like I really lack answers in knowing how to handle them.  But going back to the Bible is always the best answer.  I think this one really hits home for me because it not only tells us what not to do, but what we should do instead: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Ephesians 4:29.

And on the other side of things: 'Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.'  Romans 12:19.  I'll admit, this one's hard for me because when someone I care about is hurt, the Momma Bear in me comes out.  But instead, I talk it out with my husband and he lets me vent to him so I can let it go.  And it's interesting, I have witnessed when family and friends have handled their difficult situations in the ways that God has laid out for us, He sets it straight.  In His way, though; not necessarily the way we want things to go.

(As a side note: While doing some reading up on this post, I came across this little devotion from "Right From the Heart, Right To The Point".  It defined Righteous Anger and then explained Jesus' purpose for it. It made me think twice about all the times I've been angry with someone and could have handled the situation without anger.  A good short read.)

*And if you're wondering if any of the "someones" mentioned above are you, don't worry, they're not. :)

I'd love to hear about your likes/dislikes about living in a small town/big city.  I've done both and am quite content to be where we are... for now. 

KC

non-guilty resting

I made the mistake of sitting down and suddenly all that I still had left on my "to do" list was gone from memory!  I'm usually a night owl.  I can work on a project till midnight, or at least 11:00.  Anytime in bed before then is an early night for me.  Maybe, perhaps, that has something to do with why I'm not a morning person...

Today's Gift of Survival: allowing myself to go to bed.  Early. Kind of early.  Today was one of those days where I hit the ground running and didn't sit until the kids were tucked into bed.  I don't even remember lunch, but I think it was in there somewhere.  I know there were a few helpings of coffee, that's for sure.  And tonight, as I think through all I still feel should be finished, I know I could re-motivate myself into getting these things done.  I've done it before.  But perhaps it would be better for myself (and anyone who comes into contact with me tomorrow) if I just went to bed.  All those things will still be waiting for me tomorrow.  So tonight I will issue myself a "go to bed on time with out feeling guilty" card. 

Just a few reminders of  "resting" from whatever you need rest from:


"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11:28

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"I lay down and slept; I awoke for the Lord sustained me." Psalm 3:5

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."  Psalm 62:1-2

"Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

Praise the Lord for being our resting place and renewing our strength (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) each day!

KC