Sunday, August 28, 2016

3 things you should never tell God:

1. "I can't."
Every time He heard this, God must just think: "Ha! Let me just show you how much you CAN!!" and then ups the stakes (not that God is by any means a gambling God) by tenfold.  You know why? Because you CAN'T!! Unless you have His purpose and power behind you, then you absolutely CAN TENFOLD!! And even though we forget it, He doesn't. When we tell Him we can't, He tells us that we don't have to because He's got this and we are just His vessels for carrying out His will. 
So there: you CAN!!

2. "Please teach me to have patience."
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!! 
Quite possible the stupidest thing I asked for. 
Do you know what it takes to acquire patience?? So many impatience-inducing people and situations!! There's a reason that one of "patience's" synonyms is "long-suffering." 
But I'll tell you what: it works! I'm not perfectly patient, but I can suffer a lot longer than I could 10, almost 11 years ago!

3. "Use me."
Oh no. Do not utter these words unless you MEAN them! Because God will begin to poke and prod you to do and say things that you never before had the courage to do and say and since you told Him to use you, you've got to listen to that voice telling you that this is what God is pushing you to do. You might be scared, but OH! the places you will go and the people you will meet and the things you will do all because you gave yourself over to be used by God. 

So just beware of what you say to God. He might just end up doing some amazing things in your life, if you're not careful...

KC

Thursday, August 25, 2016

big brothers are the worst

The kids and I are studying the story of Joseph.

If ever there was a life that could have turned to resentment, depression, and despair, this is it.

Short story: Joseph's brothers hated him, sold him, told his dad that he had died. He ended up in Potiphar's house where the guy's wife lied about him which ended up getting him thrown in jail. While there, he interpreted some dreams and then those guys forgot about him (well, one of them died so that's understandable). From favorite son to forgotten in jail.

If ever there was a life that shows God's amazing work through trials and devastation, this is it.

After all that garbage in his life, he ended up second-in-command only under Pharoah, and because of that position, he was able to save the lives of the guys who sold him to begin with. 

Redemption. 

So I'm thinking that if God can take the messed up rigamaroll that was Joseph's life and turn it into something amazing and incredible, then He can do the same for each of us who might have lived through a bunch of junk ourselves. 


And the craziness of it all is that the people who did all this horrible garbage to him, he ended up not only forgiving them, but helping them too! Man, that took gutsy forgiveness. 


The Bible's full of lives that parallel ours here on earth. 
Good reading, I tell ya. 
That God, He knows what He's doing a whole lot more that I know what I'm doing.


KC

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

for reals

I love Instagram filters. I can make an average picture look gorgeous just by changing the filter. I can brighten up a drab picture or focus in on the good, editing out the bad. And Snapchat filters are even better! Goodness, I didn't know I could be so perfect until I used Snapchat filters! 

That's all good and fun, but it's not reality!! 

Reality isn't gorgeous. Reality isn't close to perfect. Reality doesn't have a filter that makes my skin flawless and puts a butterfly crown on my head. 

Reality is crying out of frustration as a parent.
Reality is dealing with my shortcomings as a wife.
Reality is the mess hidden underneath the bed or behind the couch or in the closet.
Reality is the bag of Munchies I finished off today. (SO GOOD THOUGH!)
Reality is the pile of stuff just out of the Instagram post of perfect home decor.
Reality is the strained relationship with a friend or family member.
Reality is exhaustion and fatigue, stress and anxiety, worry and concern.

But reality is also full of hope.
Today I had texts of encouragement.
Today I was reminded that I have amazing friends.
Today my sister-in-law brought us dinner (people, I cannot even tell you how this made my day!! It was so good and I was blessed!!)
Today God never left my side.
Today His grace is the reason I survived today. 

I am #survivingbythegraceofGod every day. 

KC
 (Ridiculous)


PS - I write because I feel God's call. I write because He's got a purpose for these words. My little self wants to keep this blog to just a few followers, but it's not really up to me, right? So I'll put this out there and let God do what He wants: please feel free to share my blog at anytime with anyone. 

Monday, August 22, 2016

stupid self-appointed standards

I went to spend some time with a good friend tonight. We chatted from our hearts because that's what we tend to do. My mommy heart poured out my mommy sorrows and my eyes welled up with tears.

And she spoke truth, which she repeated to me a few times throughout the night.

"You are too hard on yourself."

And she is right.

People! The standards for parents are high these days. Meeting them is next to impossible! I don't need to rehash the birthday party ideas, the fancy desserts sent to school for birthdays, the long list of Pinterest ideas for gifts and diy and home improvement and so many other things that make me wanna PUKE because I CANNOT DO IT!! 

White flag of surrender. I'm waving it. Y'all win the Perfect Parent Awards because I was disqualified approximately 10 minutes after I gave birth to my first child. 

This parenting thing? I don't have it. Like, not even a small grasp on what I'm doing. And when I think I do for just a second...BOOM!!! Something happens to remind me that I don't. 

And that's when I have to remind myself that it's okay because God's had it all along. He's the perfect parent, after all. What a fool I am to try and compete! He's got pockets full (maybe even buckets full) of extra grace just for me.

"Oh my...Kathy just tried to use the 'guilt trip' on her kids. Better sprinkle a little extra grace on her today."

"Oh no! She's making threats she cannot follow through with: no electronics for 2 weeks?! Ha! She's crazy! Let's send a huge dash of grace her way!"

"I hear her voice rising. There is no calm left inside her. Pretty sure she's gonna blow! Just let the grace rain down on her for a while..."

"Homeschooling?!?! Just flood that house with grace!"

I'm not that great of a parent, but my heart is where it's supposed to be: striving. And I think that if I'm striving, then I'm getting extra grace from God to fill in the cracks where I fail as a parent.

And when my kids grow up and think about what I did as their mom, I hope that's what they remember: the striving and that the rest of the cracks are filled with God's grace.

KC



Sunday, August 21, 2016

mondays are RAD (sarcastic font)

My son is 8 and has already decided that Mondays are the worst day of the week. If he gets hurt or
something frustrating happens, he always asks, "Is it Monday? Because this is the worst day ever!"

I've admitted in the past that Mondays have not always been very nice to me. As a matter of fact, they have been downright mean to me! I oughta just stay in bed all day! But I'm in my 30's and have had the time to get jaded about Mondays. My son is 8! He can't be grumpy about Mondays yet!

So tomorrow morning, we will start our day and I will hide my ire and angst towards Monday and I will try to convince my son that, despite what Garfield says, Mondays can be delightful! 

I guess I need this reminder as much as he does: 

Ok, all you grown ups with jobs and children and exhausting lives: we've got this! Let's grab Monday by the horns and tell it who's boss! We're gonna kick Monday's tail with our amazing good attitudes and miles of smiles! We will hop out of bed with determination to make Monday a good day. No, an EXCELLENT day!! Let's do this, people! We've got God's new mercies as our super power!! DO IT!!

Okay, now I just have to remember to read this pep talk tomorrow when I wake up...

KC


Friday, August 19, 2016

bucking the stigma

This is the first time I think I've written about this subject, but it probably won't be the last.

My husband doesn't fit the stereotypical role of dad/husband in the family like so many people think men do. 

He isn't my 3rd child. The things I do for him are because I want to care for him, not because he demands it or acts like he can't do stuff for himself. And that goes both ways in our family. He does things for me because he cares about my sanity. (He helps with laundry, washing the dishes, and making food, and almost all the grocery shopping, to name a few. Swoon, ladies, swoon!)

He isn't a wuss when he gets sick. I don't need to coddle him like a child. He handles his own illnesses, aches, and pains; although I offer to take care of him, again, because I care about him.

My husband doesn't "babysit" our children. If I go away for an evening, he plays the role of dad, which he had been doing the entire time I was there to begin with! It doesn't change because I left. He's still Dad, just like he was when I was home! He handles them kiddos like he's their involved father, BECAUSE HE IS!!

My husband uses a map.
He reads instructions.
He is involved in his children's education, asking about their strengths and weaknesses and seeking out solutions for their weaknesses.
He is the primary emergency care giver.
And he is so much more.

And if my kids ever make it to the Olympics, they will thank their Mom AND Dad.

I will stand up for my man because he works HARD to be a good husband and dad and all those stigmas do men like him a disservice. 

That's all...for now.

KC





Thursday, August 18, 2016

the devil's plans

All I'm saying, people, is after yesterday's post, there was a serious LACK OF FRUIT today from one particular child of mine!! I almost quit my "Mom job" before we even started school this morning. Just ask my husband: he got the texts and phone calls today as I was near tears and wanted to scream unkind things at the top of my lungs.

There was a serious exercise in self-control on my part today: super proud of me.

But I am telling you: there was a BATTLE going on in our home today. Snide words, selfishness, disrespect, ungratefulness, battle axes, bow and arrows: it was ALL there.

And I did not come out unscathed. Wounds and healing and scars and AUGH!

And then it hit me this afternoon. I am not waging a war with my child. I am waging a war with the stinking devil himself.

I am listening to God and striving to follow His call on my life as a mom. And that devil guy knows it and he is fighting me tooth and nail. 

And that is how I know that we are going in the right direction: the devil wages a war. 

And somehow, knowing that, I can now face tomorrow's battles with confidence. My great big God is on my side and we will fight for the souls of my children. Because those souls are precious.
Tomorrow morning, I will roll out of bed and roar!!! Because I am ready for battle.

KC 



Wednesday, August 17, 2016

fruity kids

I sure do love my kids.

I might have spoken to them both in a "slightly louder than normal" voice today on multiple occasions because they were "challenging." Their attitudes might have pushed me to my limits (meaning that my lid was flipped). And I might have kept myself from shoving an entire bar of soap down my daughter's throat today (self-control, right?!) and found myself wanting to leave my son in his room all afternoon...

But I sure do love those cute little stinkers.

Why?

Because my daughter made me pancakes today.
My son hugged me tight and apologized for hurting my feelings today.
My daughter didn't complain about math, her dreaded subject, once today.
My son came downstairs and apologized for being a booger this afternoon.
My daughter did PE in the pool without me bugging her to do so.
My son apologized for hurting me while he was messing around.
(Seriously, he had a tough go of it today!)

My kids are far from perfect and drive me up and wall (and sometimes across the ceiling and down the other wall), but I see fruit every day. 

They are growing and changing and showing signs of being good kids who will (hopefully, God-willing) grow into good adults! 

And all my effort (and when I say "my," I mean my husband's too, but he doesn't write the blog so I'm gonna take all the credit here) and all my stress and all of my hard work (okay, I'm starting to feel bad about using "my"...) is working!!! 

Jesus,
I am trying to stay the course as a mom, so thank you for the glimpses and sometimes full view of the fruit you are producing from the little seeds I so carefully sow. If You will continue to grow the fruit, I will keep on keeping on with the seed-planting! 
AMEN!!

PS - I'm gonna need a little help tomorrow, though. Because: Day 2 of homeschooling...😳

KC

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

waking up is hard

I'm not a fan of mornings. And mornings don't like me very much either.  My bed really likes me. You can see my problem here? I don't want to get up in the morning. 

Tomorrow I start my second job: homeschooling (first job being Head Lady on Campus). Tomorrow things get real again. I set standards for my kids in the morning so I've got to reach those standards myself. If I don't, everything starts to crumble and chaos begins and it's just so tough to reign in the monkeys once they are let loose!! 

In other words: I have to get out of bed. 

No matter how I feel about the upcoming day. No matter what kind of mood I wake up in. No matter how late I went to bed the night before. No matter how crazy the kids already sound before my feet hit the floor. I have to get up.

So I give myself a pep talk before I even get out of bed. 

1. I have lots of good reasons to get out of bed: kids, breakfast (I like breakfast best of all meals), Starbucks (I won't deny that I use Sbux as a reward most mornings for making it halfway through the morning), a home that runs because I'm in it, my cat waiting outside my door for some lovin'. Whatever it is, I find a reason to get up!
 
2. I have a purpose for getting up. I don't always know what it is, but I know that I have a purpose. It might be something as simple as getting laundry done, or meeting with a friend who needs encouragement (which usually leaves me feeling encouraged), or teaching my children. It doesn't matter what it is, I just have to believe that I have a purpose in the world and if I stay in bed, I'll never achieve that purpose.

3. And if I don't believe in myself and my purpose in life, I can always fall back on the knowledge that lives within my heart and soul: God has a purpose for me to get up out of bed and live today. I don't have to know that purpose, I just have to trust in the God who created me, that He made me for a purpose and I will get up and live because of that.

So recap on the morning pep talk (because school starts early tomorrow!)
1. Lots of good reasons to get up.
2. I have a purpose today.
3. God's got am even better purpose for me today.

We've got this, people! Gooooo team! 

KC 

(I'm curious: when do you wake up?)

Thursday, August 11, 2016

grace for idiots

It's easy to be kind and gracious to nice people, to sweet and thoughtful people. It's easy to show grace to those who show us the same.

But what about the idiots? The jerks? The rude snobby people? What about the lady in the neighborhood who never smiles, waves, or acknowledges you? What about the guy behind you on the freeway who keeps tailgating you or who cuts you off? What about the clique of woman who refuse to invite you into their group to do anything? And the co-worker who always puts you down? And the coach who seems to think its okay to yell at your 6 year old who is just learning to play soccer? And the teacher who has absolutely no "nice" bone in her body? Or the "friend" who makes fun of you behind your back? (This list is endless, people!)

Do the behaviors of these jerks give you permission to be a jerk back? Should you treat them exactly as they treat you? YES!!! .....wait, that was ME speaking right there, my human side broke through pretty strong for a second. 😝

It might take a huge amount of self-control or patience or tact, but this scripture is pretty direct in its response: 

Now, I don't read that as "be a doormat and let everyone walk all over you," or "let people take advantage of you." But I do read it as "learn how to appropriately respond to idiots in such a way that you might be an example of who Jesus is to those idiots." 

Now I don't know about y'all, but I already do this perfectly. I love my enemies so hard! (And I'm not sarcastic ever, in the least bit.😜) But the rest of you guys need to work on the business of loving idiots!

Because idiots need grace too. 

KC 





Tuesday, August 9, 2016

hard work


I can't tear myself away from watching the Olympics - it's on our TV all day long. 


Maybe it's because everyday I see amazing accomplishments acquired by months and years of hard work. And that is HUGE motivation for me. Seeing others succeed makes me want to work harder!

Maybe it's because I see some of the athletes who have come from tough backgrounds and instead of letting their life's situations drag them down and give them excuse, they used their difficulties as reasons to succeed. 

Maybe it's all these hard-working, in shape athletes who inspire me to get out there and keep exercising!

Maybe it's the good sportsmanship that is a good reminder to be a good loser as well as a gracious winner.

Maybe I'm tired of all the other garbage that's on TV that my kids watch: whiny, spoiled, entitled kids and teens getting their way and getting everything they want.

Maybe the Olympics should be on TV more often so that my kids can get excited about accomplishments and be motivated by successful men and woman who WORKED HARD to get where they are in the Olympics! 

I know the Olympics aren't near done, but I'll miss the games when it's all over.

KC

#justsaynotoentitledkids #yayforsuccessfromhardwork 



Sunday, August 7, 2016

getting

Perhaps one of the most crucial books for my marriage was one that was given to me shortly after Scott and I were married. We both read it and it has played a huge part in my perspective towards marriage and is also the reason for much of the success in our relationship. 

His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr. 

I loaned that book out so many times that I no longer know where it is. And it has been years since I read it so I don't remember all the details (time to re-buy it!) but one important piece of advice that has been re-iterated over and over by those who are in successful relationships is this:

Marriage is not about what you get. 
Marriage is about what you give.

Maybe this doesn't work for you or for your relationship. But for me, it defines what I am doing in my relationship. I am striving to figure out what makes my husband tick and to meet those needs. 

I'm not perfect at this whole "giving of myself" thing. My husband can attest to that. My selfishness likes to get in the way...frequently. I can easily slip into the mindset of, "Why didn't he do this for me?" or "How could he have forgotten about that?" or "Why doesn't he think the same way I do?" and his favorite: "Why can't he read my mind?!"

And that's where I need to stop myself or the bitterness will build up and I will become so self-focused that I become useless to the relationship, not giving of myself whatsoever. 

I know this isn't a popular view these days: "giving" as opposed to "getting," but I've seen the success it has brought to our relationship when both of us employ the same mindset, even when we don't feel like it. (It is very difficult to make a tasty dinner when you are mad at your husband. And to wash his clothes when you know it would feel better to throw them away!) 

Plus, it's Biblical. And I'm a huge fan of all things Biblical because that God who inspired the Bible is a gazillion times wiser than me.
See?
KC






Tuesday, August 2, 2016

today's outfit

I came across this verse today: "Clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." Colossians 3:12

What I didn't come across today was a verse that said: "Clothe yourself with judgment, selfishness,  pride, harshness, and impatience." 

You know why? 
Because that's not what God wants us to clothe ourselves in. 

Here's today's outfit:
Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others
Kindness: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate
Humility: a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness
Gentleness: considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender; mild and soft
Patience: capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset

Hmmm, I might need to change up the outfit I was planning on wearing today. 
How about you?

KC



Monday, August 1, 2016

happiest of birthdays

Today is my birthday. And between all of the texts, phone calls, messages, and Facebook notifications, I was thought of by over 100 people today. 

I know there are some people who don't like the whole Facebook birthday reminder thingy. I personally don't use it because I know that I'll remember to write for one friend and then forget for another friend and then just feel horrible. It's one of my 745,980 shortcomings (I might be underestimating there.) 

I, however, want to leave this birthday telling you all how rad it felt to be thought of by each one of you! Instead of seeing the political rantings and the spewing of not nice words, I got to read through birthday greetings from my friends. 

Imagine if we took this birthday wishing to a whole nother level (I know it's not a word, but I'm making it one for tonight because it's my birthday and also because it is my poetic license.) What if we were more intentional about sending little greetings to each other just because?! What if we looked for ways to make others feel great about their day...just because?! What if, when we thought of someone, we actual let them know: "Hey, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of ya!" What if we encouraged, uplifted, and complimented.........just because?! 

I don't know about you, but if I had that much positivity pouring into my life on a regular basis, I'm pretty sure I'd be floating on a cloud most days (Yeah, that's my analogy. I happen to thrive on good words.)

I know, I know, I go back to this whole "say nice words" thing frequently on my blog. But that's because I believe so strongly that our words, been from a very young age, can make or break a person. 
 
And I think we should be "making" more people and "breaking" less. 




KC