Sunday, August 31, 2014

cry...it's okay

Maybe you've always had to be strong.
Hide those emotions.
Always be the happy one.
Your parents always told you to grow up.
Stop acting like a baby.

Maybe no one ever told you:
it's okay to cry. 

Well here's my opinion on the matter, (even if I'm the only one who cares about my opinion): cry. 

Crying releases so much: stress, frustration, irritation, anger, a whole variety of emotions. Crying shows others that you are real, not fake. It teaches your children the value of tears shed. It allows for pure emotion. It substitutes for words when the words don't come. It creates an emotional communication with God and He can see right into your heart. (Okay, so honestly here, He can see into your heart whenever He wants; He's God. I'll rewrite that). It creates an emotional communication with God where you understand that He sees right into your heart.

Life's hard, people. Hearts get broken everyday. People we love suffer through illness. Sometimes they pass away. Hearts are torn with unkind words and actions. A meaningful song reminds you of your past. Memories of hurt come to the surface. You run out of coffee creamer: it's all hard stuff!

And you know what? It's okay to cry about it, because crying helps to heal. And healing is a good thing. (Just maybe get in the habit of wearing waterproof mascara).

KC




Friday, August 29, 2014

happy friday

Sometimes on Friday I like to list a dozen things that made me happy throughout the week. It's just my way of trying to see the positive in everything and to be constantly searching for things to be grateful for. 


So here's to a happy week!!

1. Family - my family comes together and helps each other out whenever possible. ❤️
2. Bright children - twice this week my daughter has rattled off some random fact that I knew nothing about and had never taught her. She will be smarter than me!
3. Yellow - this color has started showing up in my house and makes me happy!
4. The lake - my brother and his family took my kids and me out on the lake. There is nothing like the sound of his boat and the wind blowing through my hair on a gorgeous afternoon.
5. Perfectly fitted scripture - God knows what you need to hear and when you need to hear it.
6. Pizz Plus - if you've eaten there, you know.
7. Giggling children - I heard my son upstairs the other day giggling to himself as he watched a few episodes of Simon's Cat (a funny little video series on YouTube).
8. Compliments - a kind word goes far.
9. Cashews - I love cashews.
10. Flowers - there were a couple lonely little flowers that I picked and put in a vase in my window sill and they cheered me every time I saw them.
11. An empty dishwasher that I didn't have to empty! (Thanks, dear husband!)
12. Sleep - and that is where I am headed now! 😴

KC

Thursday, August 28, 2014

never alone

One thing my Mom was very faithful to teach me was that no matter where I was or what I was doing in life, I was never alone. 

There were a few things I was fearful of as a child. I'll admit: I hated thunder. I also hated needles: shots and drawing blood. The sound of cats fighting outside my window (I just knew one of my cats would be tore up the next morning). Staying overnight away from home (I had to overcome homesickness, if you've never had that feeling, don't judge!) Vomiting...to this day, fearful of vomiting. Ok, there were more than a few and I'm sure my Mom could name some more but I'm going to beg her not to!

Whenever these fears came up, I was quick to go to my strength and comfort: my Mom. No matter what, she always knew what to do to calm me down and make me feel better. 

But she would also consistently remind me that I was never alone, God was always with me. No matter where I went or how I felt, He was there. During my scariest times and my lonliest nights, He was with me. At my most fearful moments and most anxious times, He was right there with me. She would often pray with me to help calm my nerves and to remind me that God was in the room with us. 

That became a mindset for me. One that followed me into college and into my grown up life so far. 

Driving in terrible traffic, taking a huge test, performing in front of people - never alone.

Begging and pleading for the healing of my Dad, watching him leave this earth - still not alone. 

Up all night with a sick child, facing my own health scares - not alone.

At my scariest, most frustrating, worrisome, and tiresome moments - never alone.

No matter what has happened in my life, I have always lived with the comfort of knowing he was with me the whole way. 


KC


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

funnies



I It's been a long, busy, exhausting week...and it's only Wednesday! 

I need to smile:

Seriously, paper plates and cups and let's eat outside where crumbs don't matter!


My kids have been pretty well-behaved the past couple of weeks, but every once in a while, taping their hands to themselves sounds like a good idea!


Children...


Okay, this one's just silly, but it's true.

I am due for a horizontal life pause (or 2 or 3).



Hope you smiled!

KC



Tuesday, August 26, 2014

climbing out of a hole

You ever been in a hole you can't dig yourself out of? You can see what you are doing wrong. You know that something needs to change. But habits have a way of keeping a strong hold on you. And you don't know how to change those habits. 

I lived in a hole like that for years. My husband and I somehow managed to have an child whose will is made of iron. We didn't understand how to parent her. We could not dig ourselves out of that hole. Bad parenting habits were developed: bribery, useless forms of discipline, yelling and anger. We read parenting books and tried techniques from the internet. We researched on our own to find ways to deal with a child who could hold her own in battle. Sometimes for the sake of our own sanity, we would throw our hands up in the air and give up.

But all of that meant that there was no joy in parenting. Resentment was building in my relationship with my daughter. The hole we had dug was so deep, I kinda wanted to just give up.

But I didn't, because I couldn't. I was her Mom. God gave her to me to raise as one of His children, and I was just going to give up? Never.

One day I told my husband that we needed help. I wanted to see one of our church pastors. He told me to make the appointment and he would be right beside me. We met with the children's pastor at our church for a few months and our lives were changed.

We got out of that hole by seeking Godly help.

I don't know what kind of place you feel stuck in, but it can make you feel pretty helpless. Money habits, marriage issues, relationship struggles, depression or anxiety, alcohol has become more than a friend, overwhelmed because you can't tell anyone "no" (hmmm, I might know someone like that...), or maybe you, like me, have a child who brings you to your wit's end every day!

And try as you might to fix it or change it, you can't. 

Go ask for help. There are counselor and pastors who deal with your situation on a regular basis. They know more than you. They have gone to school to understand you better than you understand yourself. (We chose to see a pastor because we wanted to make sure that the parenting advice was in accordance with God's word). 

I tell you, I'm not sure why we waited 7+ years to go see a pastor, but I'm glad we ended up going . It has changed our life. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

uniquely you

I don't know if you've been told this lately, but you are pretty stinkin' special. Believe me: you are. 

There is no one like you. You were created to be uniquely you. And you have a purpose, so that makes you pretty important (even if you don't know what that purpose is). 

So if you're feeling insignificant, you need to get over that because Psalm 139:14 says, "I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well." 

See? I told ya: "fearfully and wonderfully made." In other words: special. 

And if you're wondering if I'm talking to you, I am. Because every one of us was created by God so everyone one of us was fearfully and wonderfully created, even me with all my shortcomings and failures!

So today, walk around proud with your head held high, because you are somebody. And you are different from every other person around you so quit comparing yourself: it's not worth your time. 

And if you don't believe me, maybe you'll believe this guy:


KC




Sunday, August 24, 2014

little hands

This evening my bracelet came off while in church. I struggled with one hand to get it back on and my 6 year old little boy grabbed it and with his little boy hands complete with dirt under the fingernails, he fastened my bracelet back around my wrist. And while he did this, I got a glimpse of the future.

Someday this little boy is going to be someone's husband. (That's kinda frightening to me - I'll be a mother-in-law! 😳) And someday he will be fastening a bracelet around his wife's wrist. My job is to prepare him for that day, the day when he becomes a husband. 

Being a parent comes with huge responsibilities. We are raising good citizens, people who are going to make a difference in the world, leaders, influential people, and most importantly in my house: strong children of God. But we are also raising future husbands and wives (and for those of us who have been married, you know the value of a good spouse!) 

And not only are we teaching them directly by our words and by explaining how we should treat other people, but through our example in our own marriages and relationships. By how we treat the people we love as well as by how we allow ourselves to be treated. 

I had a wonderful example of marriage set before me by my parents. I'm sure it wasn't perfect but they strove to make their relationship the most important thing in their lives, second only to God. And my husband and I try to do the same, with the hopes that our children will follow our example and not only choose godly spouses who treat them with love and respect, but also so that they themselves might work hard at being excellent spouses. 

I know I can't pick who my children marry, but I can certainly try my best to teach them what to look for in a spouse. Because that decision right there will affect them for the rest of their life. And that is a long time.

But for now, I'm going to keep enjoying little hands and fingers while they are still mine to hold. 

(Goodness, am I tearing at your mommy and daddy heart strings or what?!) 😩

KC

Saturday, August 23, 2014

on being imperfect

I am going to admit something to you: I am a hypocrite.

It's something I've known for quite some time. I can talk the talk but walking the walk is a lot more difficult. Much of what I write about comes from my daily personal struggles as a mom, a wife, a friend, and a woman. And try as I might, I can't do any of those things perfectly. I am constantly making mistakes and stupid decisions in all areas of my life.

I have been known to yell at my kids and to lose my cool with them. I will admit to being a little strong-headed toward my husband and being insensitive and thoughtless in regard to my friends. And in my relationship with God, that is where I fail the most!

But I have decided one thing: just because I haven't reached perfection yet, that doesn't mean that I should stop trying to be a better me. 

So tomorrow morning I will walk in to church as a hypocrite joining hundreds of people who are also there trying to figure out how to walk the walk. 

And I won't be alone because there won't be a single person in that building who is perfect. 

KC


Thursday, August 21, 2014

afraid to dream

Sometimes I like to wax poetic.
If you don't like to read poetic, then skip down to the bottom part of the blog that doesn't look like a poem. You won't be missing much and you'll still get the gist of what the post is about. (And I won't know if you've read the poem or not so you won't even hurt my feelings!)

The Non-Rhyming Poem 
(because, well honestly, it's easier that way)

There is a place inside you
Where dreams live deep.
Those dreams keep hope alive
Even when those dreams don't dare to speak. 

That hope, it guides,
It pushes and it beckons you
To go where you've never been 
And to do what you've never done.

Fear and nerves get in the way
And the doubt is ever present.
You worry when you stumble
And confidence wanes.

But that hope inside is constant, 
Whether a big flame or a small ember.
It begs you to pursue the dreams
And to forget the stumbles.

You might be right:
Maybe you aren't strong enough,
Smart enough, or speak with eloquence.
Your weaknesses are constantly evident.

But, none of that matters
When God takes the dreams He planted
And makes them a reality.
All you have to do is go along.


And the non-poetic part:

There are very few blogs that I follow (mostly because I think it would take away from my valuable time spent on Pinterest 😝), but one guy I consistently read is Jon Acuff. He's funny but he's real and he doesn't have to try hard to be either and I happen to think that's a perfect combination. 

He's also a dreamer who is making his dreams come true. And his words often speak to me because apparently I'm a dreamer too. I have out-loud dreams but I also have dreams that I have never voiced. Because if I tell someone about it, then it becomes a reality...something to pursue. And I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

What about you? What's burning inside you? (I will mention that if you had read my poem, you might have gotten the connection there...just sayin'!) What's getting in your way? 

Or are you sitting there just like me, afraid to give your dream a voice? 

So what do I do now? I'm not certain, but I do know it's time to stop making excuses to a God who can use me in ways beyond what I can imagine. I'm not sure how or when but that's okay. He knows and that's good enough for me. 

KC

(So every once in a while, like tonight, I will write a blog not even realizing that God is speaking directly to me as I write. And when I finally realize that, it kinda trips me out because these are my words, right? Ah, but they are not. Only the misspelled ones come from me - the rest are His.)




Wednesday, August 20, 2014

words

As I'm trying to find a topic to write on this evening, I have been inundated with ideas and quotes about words. I'm thinking that God's trying to make it obvious here.

Words are powerful. They can stick with a person for their entire life. They can make or break a child. They can build up or destroy a relationship. 

Words without thought can be the most harmful. When you don't stop for a second to consider the feelings of the listener, you can spit something out, not realizing how much you might be hurting them. And even if you realize it immediately after saying it, it's too late. 

So I'm giving you permission to listen. To not speak immediately when there is a silence in the conversation. You are not obligated to fill the blank. Feel free to process the conversation and your own thoughts before you actually put a voice to them.

Because I personally think a bit of silence is better than regretted words.

Hawk Nelson is right on in his song "Words." Go listen, if you have time:

KC

PS. Let me just share a few "signs" I saw tonight:



Between Pinterest and my own saved quotes, I think it was obvious...


Tuesday, August 19, 2014

refining

I saw this on Pinterest the other day. Truth, I tell ya: TRUTH!!

When I look back on the difficult things I have had to go through in my life up to this point, I can honestly say I have become a better person because of each stinkin' thing. Maybe I haven't reached the level of ✨awesome✨ yet...but I'm working myself in that direction.

No, I take that back. I am not making myself a better person. God is. He sees every hardship that I stumble upon and thinks to Himself: "Hmmm, let's see what beauty I can make out of this!" (Ok, I don't honestly know if God "thinks to Himself" - I was taking creative liberties to make my point). 

I have come a long way from the nervous, insecure, shy, anxiety-ridden, couldn't-get-3-words-out-of-me teenage girl to the gal I am today! Just ask anybody who has spent more than 5 minutes with me these days - I don't think "shy" would ever cross their minds to describe my personality. 

But the only way that I could become that gal was by going through the tough stuff. And by relying on God to get me through it all. He and I have shared many a conversation in the midst of sickness, exhaustion, frustration, disappointment, death, and despair. He's always there. 

And you know what He's doing? He's refining. He is allowing me to walk through fire to get the impurities out so that I can be that much closer to ✨awesome✨.  

Some days, though, when something tough comes my way, I just wanna say, "Good grief, God - aren't I ✨awesome✨ enough already?!"

KC



Monday, August 18, 2014

the fellowship of the....women

This evening I had the pleasure of spending the evening with an absolutely wonderful group of gals. We laughed our heads off almost the entire time we were together [and fortunately did not wake up any of the sleeping children or dads (of which there was only one because any more would have been strange) in the house]. And I will tell you, none of the laughter was at the expense of our men (as women often do) because we are each pretty blessed with the husbands we have.

But let me just tell you, coming home tonight I feel full. Not just because of the Cheetos and carrots we ate, but because of the gap that these women fill in my life. I have a spectacular husband (he's spectacular all of the time - brownie points!!) and great kids (most of the time) and pretty much my entire family lives around me, but there is a hole in my life that is only filled by friends.

There is a feeling of togetherness (although I wouldn't go so far as to say homogenous) , despite our individual differences. Being relatable to someone who has any sort of common ground with you is a pretty binding thing. Laughing about the joys of being a woman, a wife, a mother. I hate to say it, but guys, you can't quite fill that gap. Close. But not quite. (But we do love you for trying!)

And if you are blessed, your friends will build you up. They will encourage you in your relationship with your spouse. They will help to strengthen you as a mother. So when you go home, you are ready to tackle this thing called womanhood once again. (Sheesh, I feel like I should be on stage giving some kind of motivational speech!) 

So choose those friends wisely, and then don't hesitate to build your relationships with those friends. Their support will prove invaluable when you need it the most. They will have your back. They will build you up. They will lift you up.

And for the 4 or 5 guys who read my blog: I do so love you and promise to get off the "women rock" kick tomorrow. Maybe. 😜

KC

Sunday, August 17, 2014

first day of school

Tomorrow is the first day of school for my kids. We start homeschooling. Many people gave asked why we decided to homeschool. I don't mind sharing those details in another post but the gist of it is this: We prayed about it and God answered us.

At the beginning of last school year if you had asked if I would be homeschooling this year, I would have fervently told you no. However, as many of you know, we can lay out excellent plans and God will take one look at them and laugh.

In August or September I remember having a conversation with my husband and told him that God would have to make it abundantly clear, I mean right-in-front-of-my-face obvious. All my concerns and fears would have to be addressed. Many things would have to fall into order before I considered homeschooling. 

I presented that to God and then my husband and I prayed about it over the next few months. 

Amd God is in the habit of answering prayers. He certainly did for us! We made our final decision in February. He covered all our concerns and made everything fall into place for us. He's pretty amazing that way. 

And as I think about tomroow, I have peace. We presented our concerns to God. He answered them. God's confirmation = peace.

So Happy First Day of School, everyone! (I have to get to bed now - I'm the teacher tomorrow!)

KC

Friday, August 15, 2014

happy Friday

All right. It's been a long week for many of you. Exhaustion has hit and you don't feel like going to your kids' soccer game(s). So today, you gotta dig down deep. What can you find from your week that made you happy?

My dozen:
1. Conversations with good friends. I smile so often when I get to talk to or text my friends. ❤️
2. Movie night with some hilarious mommas! (That's what you git!)
3. Jr. Mints. Chocolate and mint - you can't lose there.
4. Nieces and nephews. I adore all 8 of mine. 
5. Picking up curriculum to homeschool my kiddos (oh, did I not tell you I will be homeschooling this year? I'll explain in another post...)
6. Breakfast at my favorite restaurant (Corner Stop Eatery) with the girls in my family. 
7. Discovering a new store in our little town. Such cute stuff! (Boutique Couture, ladies - great things in this shop)
8. Music.    I know. Every time I write: music. But seriously, people, there is music on when I cook, clean, shower, drive, jog, workout....practically all day long. It makes me happy!
9. Sitting on our old leather couch - there is nothing more comfortable than this couch.
10. Bananas with spots because you know what that means? Time to make banana chocolate chip muffins, Baby!!
11. Quiet. Children are asleep. That might possibly be why I stay up so late, to enjoy the quiet as long as I can.
12. And peace, which is much different than quiet. Peace: the feeling you get when you've made the right decision in life. God does that. He gives peace.

What about you? I want to hear about your "happy" this week. I love it when you share...

KC



Wednesday, August 13, 2014

you just don't know

I'm gonna put this picture here so you all can judge my parenting: 
Yep. That's my daughter sleeping on the floor outside my bedroom this evening. 

Now quit judging me. Because you just don't know. (Although I do know that there are a few of you who do know - you live this life regularly with one or more of your children).

Why isn't this child sleeping in her bedroom like every other child is doing right now?
Perhaps I should try a bedtime routine.
Maybe be more consistent.
I could try what The Nanny always did.
Have I ever thought of letting her listen to music to fall asleep to?
Perhaps if I read to her before she fell asleep...

Let me just tell you, my husband and I have tried it all! For the past six years we have done everything we could think of to make bedtime happen without a battle, except alcohol. Hmmmm... (Just kidding - with our luck, alcohol would make her hyper!) 

We hate bedtime. We dread it. You all get to snuggle your dearies, read them a story, kiss them good-night and turn out the light. And then you don't hear from them until the morning. That is so sweet... That has never been our experience with this strawberry blonde of ours (although our son is pretty much the bedtime angel which proves to us that we aren't the worst parents in the world).

(Just something to keep in mind: we are very well aware that our daughter has a strong-will and likes to be in control. We have done a lot of research to rule out other issues and have witnessed this desire for control in her. For example, one evening she told us she would go right to sleep if we would do something special for her the next day. 5 minutes later, she was out. Twerp.)

So without rehashing the whole story of why my daughter is sleeping on the floor outside my room, the short story is this: she desperately needed sleep and that was more important than fighting her to have her in her own bed. 

I tell you that story to make this point: be careful how you judge other moms and dads out there. I know there are some really terrible parents out there. Go ahead: judge them. But there are some of us who are doing our best to raise the gifts that God has given us. And sometimes our techniques don't mesh well with other people's parenting ideals. But we know our children and we are trying to make the wisest decisions in raising them.

Meanwhile, I'm just gonna try not to step on my amazing little gift when I go to bed.

KC


Tuesday, August 12, 2014

for a purpose

Today my beautiful, strong-willed daughter flexed her will up against mine. I made the best decision for her and she didn't like it so she fought me. This is not an unusual thing for us. The two of us have gone head to head many times. And more often than not, she comes around and realizes that I am right in my decision.

As was the case today.

After my decision was made, she stormed away to sulk and be upset with me. Not 10 minutes later, she walked back into my room with tears in her eyes, apologizing and telling me that I was right. 

(Just a little sidebar: we have spent years learning how to deal with her tantrums appropriately and in a manner that God has called us to do. This fruit, the remorse and apologies, have been hard-earned, let me just tell ya!)

She apologized.

That would be a great way to end they story, eh? 

Nope. Too easy.

After I forgave my girl, she went on to beat herself up about what she had done. She leans toward being over-dramatic so I let her go on until she told me that she had no purpose here on earth.  Then I stopped her. 

After calming her down and getting her to a mindset where she could listen, this is what I told her (and I tell you this because maybe you need to hear it):

Never tell me that you have no purpose. God created you for a special reason. You ask what that reason is? Maybe it is something big! Or maybe something small. Or maybe you will never fully understand what your purpose is, but that doesn't mean that God didn't place you here for a reason. Maybe you are already affecting lives and you don't even know it! But God does. 

And just because you have a bad day or a bad moment or a bad week, that doesn't mean that you can't fulfill that purpose.

You have value. God chose that you would be here. He's planning on using you, if you are willing. 

So don't ever tell me that you don't have a purpose here on earth. You might not get it, but God does. 

I'd love to say that everything turned out honky-dory after that, and it did for all of 15 minutes when she moved on to something else! Some days are just like that around here...

KC

Monday, August 11, 2014

searching for the good

Every couple of weeks my mother-in-law brings me a rotisserie chicken and sour dough bread from Costco. I look forward to that day because it's a meal that I really don't have to think much about. And as much as I enjoy cooking, I rarely have that much time to put into it. 

I'm pretty fortunate. I have great in-laws. Not perfect, but no one is. But my mother-in-law will watch the kids at the drop if a hat, if needed. She will do any research I ask regarding my children: nutrition, health, education. She buys me practical gifts like sheets, vacuums, and towels so that I don't have to buy the mundane things. And if I need a new appliance, she will do the research to help me find the best one because she knows that I'm usually too busy to do that sort of research stuff. She doesn't step on my toes when it comes to parenting and rarely offers unsolicited advice. Like I said, I'm pretty fortunate!

But there are a lot of mother-in-laws that, well, don't exactly fall into the "wonderful" category. I know this because I've heard the stories! I think sometimes mother-in-laws feel they've earned the right to say whatever they want whenever they want. And maybe even to do whatever they want. Family relationships have been ruined because of the strain placed between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law.

But have you ever looked at your mother-in-law and tried to see past all the negativity you feel? To look for the good? And not just your mother-in-law, but anyone you know? To find the good, the talent, the beauty in the crabby next door neighbor. To see the strength and determination and passion in your sister-in-law. To appreciate the dedication and discipline of the lady who sits near you in church but never smiles.

There's good. There's (almost) always good. But sometimes you have to search extra hard for it.

But I'll tell you this: once you start looking for the good, it gets easier and easier to find.

KC



Thursday, August 7, 2014

evolving as a mom

I read something today that got me thinking about this whole business of being a mom. 

I remember before we had kids, we were going to be perfect parents. We had it all figured out: how to make our children behave, get them to brush their teeth 2 times a day, and make their beds every morning, how to get them to eat vegetables, how to protect them from this world. And we were going to raise the most respectful, obedient, well-behaved chidren. Everyone would be impressed...just you wait and see! 

I mean seriously, people, it really didn't seem that difficult.

God decided that humility was a good lesson to teach us. Apparently we were asking for it.

Our firstborn was the avenue that God decided to use to teach us humility. 

But she's a whole other story...

What I realized today is that who I thought I wanted to be as a mom has evolved according to the children that God has placed in my life. He has shown me where I need to change my priorities and where I need to put my focus as a mother. 

He has taught me to show grace.

He has given me gobs more patience than I started out (although I must say, I think I've earned that - I've been through many trying situations).

He has taught me how to look through the eyes of a child and to see life through their eyes and to feel it with their heart.

He has shown me that sometimes it's okay to look past the mess and just be with my kids. Messes will always be there. Bike rides and games with the family won't.

He has taught me that it's okay if my kids don't like all the veggies and forget to brush their teeth, and if they struggle with reading, and spill entire glasses of milk or forget to pick up their shoes...

They're not perfect, no matter how hard I try to make them be that way. And neither am I.  Not only do my beloved children need grace, I need to show myself some grace too.

KC

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

lessons from a kid

Kids teach us so much, if we just pay attention. 

Today my daughter taught me a good little lesson. I told her she could pick out something at the store for $3 or less. After she hemmed and hawed and asked for more expensive things and then drove me to exasperation because she couldn't make up her mind, I finally gave her another choice. 

She is saving her money for an iPod Touch. She has a long way to go. Out of frustration today, I told her that she could have the $3 to put towards her iPod if she would pass on purchasing something at the store. It was all stuff she didn't need anyway. Oh, but she fought me, still looking for that one thing she couldn't live without. We were rapidly reaching my patience tolerance level. (This happens often when I shop with my darling redhead...) 

Finally, I was done and started walking away, but this is when the lesson I had been trying to teach my daughter hit me square between the eyes. I had two throw pillows in my arms that I thought were fantastic and had told myself were worth the money, even though I was going to spend twice what I had originally planned. 

I walked away with a crabby, empty-handed daughter in tow. (At this point not only was she not getting some random trinket, she was also not getting the $3.  A terrible attitude does not get rewarded.) I took those pillows and brought them back where I had got them. 

My girl asked my why I was putting them back as she knew I really wanted them (and I did - one was bright green and the other had owls on it. And they were both soft and squishy!) I put off responding to her question till I got into the truck with her. 

When we sat together in the truck I explained: as much as I loved the pillows I had chosen, it was more valuable at this point to save the money for other things that were needed and wait to find a set of pillows that were in my price range. I related it to her debockle in the store: buy something now and waste the money or save it for something better. 

We drove down the road, headed home and she contemplated for about 5 minutes. Then she looked up at me and said, "Mom, I'm sorry." 

Seriously, people, there is almost nothing more valuable uttered from a child's lips: understanding the need to apologize. Her heart, prompted by Jesus Christ who has lived in there for years, recognized her need for remorse and apologized. 

So not only did this beautifully-hearted little girl remind me to make wise choices when purchasing, she also reminded me to listen to the promptings of my heart when I need to apologize. 

Kids. The lessons we learn...

KC

Monday, August 4, 2014

the non-perfect home

Tonight's blog will be a short one. (I got sidetracked watching Wayne's World. And then I fell asleep watching Wayne's World. I must be tired!) 

This past week we had our good friends stay with us for a few nights. (We have extra beds and rooms and clean towels - you ever need a place to stay, just ask!) At first I was a bit worried because I don't have the perfect house yet (give me 10 years and gobs of money, then maybe I'll have a perfect house). But then I realized this: my friends just needed a place to lay their heads and a bit of good company to go along with that. And because they are good friends, I knew that the non-perfectness of my house wouldn't bother them.

So they came and stayed and it was fantastic! I can't tell you how many laughs we had together and how many memories were made. And the best thing: all my concern about my house was definitely for naught. They both complimented me on my style and the layout of my decor. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but my decor is unique and to have someone appreciate it means the world to me! 

So my lesson learned from last week: good friends who need a place to stay care less about where and more about with whom. 

KC

Sunday, August 3, 2014

anxiety and panic

When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I had panic attacks for the next 8 or so years of my life. If you don't know what a panic attack feels like, imagine not having control of your breathing, your heart rate, or anything else around you. Having no control = panic.

I don't share this with you to go into great detail about my experience. I did that in a post here: http://survivingbythegraceofgod.blogspot.com/2012/04/debilitating-anxiety.html (I'm not sure if that'll create a link, you might have to copy and paste - sorry!) (Truth is that I don't want to spend any more time trying to figure it out - I'm tired!)

I bring it up today because I was reminded in a conversation with a dear friend the other day, how lonely it can be to have an emotional or mental disorder. These things are still not talked about very openly. We are ashamed. Ashamed to show the world that we are not strong, that we don't have our act together. 

I don't know what you are dealing with, dear one, but you are not alone. When I bring my anxiety disorder up in conversation, so many women open up and share that they have had the same, or depression, or post-partum depression, or some emotional disorder that is difficult to deal with on your own. 

But if you never meet anyone else who has had to deal with the unfair feelings of an emotional disorder, just know that I have and you are not alone. 

KC

Friday, August 1, 2014

growing up

I had a conversation with a friend this morning. (I'll admit, many of my blog post ideas come from conversations with the amazing people I know). We chatted about birthdays a bit. Because, well, today (which is now yesterday) was my birthday. 

Each year as I anticipate turning a year older on my birthday, I wonder how I'm going to react to it. I worried that I might be sad to say good-bye to my 20s when I turned 30. And every year after 30, I worried that I would be sad moving further and further from my youth. 

It turns out that I'm not the type of gal who hates getting older. That kinda surprised me. As every birthday has occurred, I have embraced that year, that age. You know why? Because I earned it! I made it through an entire year of being me: of growing, maturing (sorta), fighting through tough days, and enjoying the awesome days. 

I look back at the 365 days that made up last year for me. God was working on me all year (but let me just tell you, He has a long way to go with me. Believe me, I know!) And what that means for me is that this coming year has great potential for the same. He's going to work on me. I'm going to grow and mature (sorta) and become an even better me than I already am. 

Imagine the adventures to be had. The memories that will be made. The challenges that I will overcome. The amazing stories that I will be able to tell. It makes me excited to have a birthday. It's not really about the gifts or the party any more (although I do enjoy both of those!) It's more about what the next year holds for me.

Sheesh. That perspective makes me sound like I'm growing up or something! I'm not sure I'm ready to be grown up...

KC