climbing out of a hole

You ever been in a hole you can't dig yourself out of? You can see what you are doing wrong. You know that something needs to change. But habits have a way of keeping a strong hold on you. And you don't know how to change those habits. 

I lived in a hole like that for years. My husband and I somehow managed to have an child whose will is made of iron. We didn't understand how to parent her. We could not dig ourselves out of that hole. Bad parenting habits were developed: bribery, useless forms of discipline, yelling and anger. We read parenting books and tried techniques from the internet. We researched on our own to find ways to deal with a child who could hold her own in battle. Sometimes for the sake of our own sanity, we would throw our hands up in the air and give up.

But all of that meant that there was no joy in parenting. Resentment was building in my relationship with my daughter. The hole we had dug was so deep, I kinda wanted to just give up.

But I didn't, because I couldn't. I was her Mom. God gave her to me to raise as one of His children, and I was just going to give up? Never.

One day I told my husband that we needed help. I wanted to see one of our church pastors. He told me to make the appointment and he would be right beside me. We met with the children's pastor at our church for a few months and our lives were changed.

We got out of that hole by seeking Godly help.

I don't know what kind of place you feel stuck in, but it can make you feel pretty helpless. Money habits, marriage issues, relationship struggles, depression or anxiety, alcohol has become more than a friend, overwhelmed because you can't tell anyone "no" (hmmm, I might know someone like that...), or maybe you, like me, have a child who brings you to your wit's end every day!

And try as you might to fix it or change it, you can't. 

Go ask for help. There are counselor and pastors who deal with your situation on a regular basis. They know more than you. They have gone to school to understand you better than you understand yourself. (We chose to see a pastor because we wanted to make sure that the parenting advice was in accordance with God's word). 

I tell you, I'm not sure why we waited 7+ years to go see a pastor, but I'm glad we ended up going . It has changed our life.