Tuesday, September 30, 2014

everyday joy

So I've got this idea that's been running around in my head for a couple of weeks. Well, honestly, there are a lot of things running around in my head...constantly. But this one I finally nailed down. Just now. It's a challenge for you. Here's the background:

At my particular stage in life, things are pretty crazy. Partly because I'm a mom and wife and family life keeps us running around trying to maintain some sort of balance. Another part of the craziness happens because I don't want to miss out on any adventures that life has to offer. That's how fantastic memories are made and how amazing relationships are formed. So if I can fit it into my schedule without sacrificing my family, I will do it! So "busy" is an understatement for me.

But amidst all the craziness and busy-ness, one thing that I have tried not to forget to do is enjoy the simple things in life, to look for the beauty in each day, to appreciate the small joys: 

My son's humor makes me giggle everyday.
My daughter's freckles and how proud she is of them blesses me!
Strawberry iced tea.
A note from my daughter (usually apologizing for being a stinker!)
Flowers. I love flowers (thanks, Mom and Dad, for teaching me to appreciate each and every kind!)
A text from my nieces or nephews. 
Clouds glowing with sunlight behind them.
The hills that can be seen from Jack Tone overpass on a clear, bright day - if you live here, you know!
The smell of my husband's home-roasted coffee beans - if you haven't smelled them, you don't know what you're missing.
Bacon
A great song on the radio.
A great song on the radio with incredible bass is even better!
A meal that everyone in the family enjoyed - that can be a difficult task.
A pun - I'm a sucker for puns.
Anything that is Robin's Egg Blue - love that color!
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Finding that amazing treasure (usually a vintage suitcase or Pyrex bowl) from an antique shop, thrift store, or garage sale.

Ok. So here's the challenge: post a picture or a comment about something that you saw, heard, smelled, felt, or tasted (all 5 senses represented) today that gave you joy or made you smile or made your heart happy. If there is more than one thing, post it! 

Let's look for joy in everyday people, because it's there! I promise. 

KC


Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Monday, September 29, 2014

holding on loosely

I heard a quote many years ago. It went something like this: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."  The quote made me smile, but more than that, to think. 

When I was younger, I wanted to be in control of every aspect if my life. That feeling was mostly brought on by fear. I knew what I wanted my life to look like: comfortable. I never wanted to leave my comfort zone. I did not like taking risks. I didn't like having the rug pulled out from underneath me. No major life changes.

I knew what I wanted my life to look like.

Unfortunately for me, God and I did not see eye to eye on this. 

I ended up with an anxiety disorder which definitely took control out of my hands. The guy I thought I was going to marry dumped me after 3 years of dating without telling me why. In college I struggled to figure out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. After I got married, my husband and I had no job, to place to live, and no money (it was great fun living with my parents for a bit as newlyweds). God saw fit to give me (who was the most non-confrontational gal), the strongest, most confrontational daughter ever. He decided to take away my rock when he took my Dad up to heaven, way too early in my opinion. My husband ended up working nights for about 5 years. I wasn't allowed to be fearful without my husband around at night: I was a mom! Talk about not being in control!

And all the other small things that happened in the past 20 years: God definitely had plans to change me. 

But I will tell you something that my husband and I have learned: we can plan and hope and make goals for ourselves and our family, but ultimately God is going to put us on the path He wants us to be. 

We have hopes and dreams for our future together, but we hold on loosely because, even though sometimes it's hard to see, God's plans for us are greater. 

KC

Sunday, September 28, 2014

a job well done

My husband works in a hospital lab. I am very proud of him and the job he holds. He is so stinkin smart in his science and math world, I could never understand even half of what he knows! And he is helping sick people with this incredible knowledge of his. 

But what makes me even more proud of him is his work ethic. Even when half the people in the lab are trying to get away with doing half of the work they should be, my husband is not only taking care of all his responsibilities, but he also goes above and beyond, when necessary. 

There are so few people who are willing to do that. I was told by a few different wise and experienced  people that 80% of the work required at a job is done by 20% of the people employed there. I know my husband is one of the 20% working hard at his job, even when he doesn't feel like it.

My parents taught me to always do my best at whatever I do. They showed me through their examples that it was not okay to be lazy. And even when I was faced with a daunting or unappealing task, I should put all my effort into it and work hard. 

It's not easy to put forth effort in a job where you don't feel appreciate and you go unnoticed. (If you are a mom, you know that feeling!) But the verse that has helped me keep perspective in the most thankless of days has been this one:

Colossians 3:23 And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto man. 

He's watching. He knows your effort. He values what you are doing. So do it for Him, because He will make it worth it. 

KC

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

imperfect friends

I was chatting with a friend on the phone the other day. We can share just about anything with each other. Our joys and our weaknesses. Our sadnesses and our accomplishments. And the two of us can laugh about life and then chat about it again the next day and laugh some more.

But the best thing about this friend: she's not perfect. And if you asked her directly, she would be the first to admit that.

You know why I think that's great? Because I'm not perfect either. Sooooooo very far from it. My faults are evident to me on a regular basis...everyday. 

And because we are both imperfect, we have a lot in common:

We can relate to each other.
We don't feel the pressure to be perfect, but can just be ourselves.
We treat each other with a measure of grace.
We build each other up because we know what it's like to be low.
We aren't afraid to vent or to show our weaknesses because there is no judgment.

Do you know how comfortable that friendship is? I don't need to impress. I get to be me; mistakes, rough edges and all. And if I show up to her house in my pajamas and flip flops with my hair pulled back in a ponytail, she will tell me just how cute I am, because she loves me the way I am! 

I hope my dearest, closest friends will forgive me when I say that not a one of them is perfect. I love them that way. That's why they are my dearest and closest friends. ❤️

KC



Monday, September 22, 2014

embracing myself

I think one of the most difficult things a woman faces is comparison. Not necessarily someone else comparing her to anyone else, but the self-comparison that happens on a daily basis. (If you don't compare yourself to anyone else, then good for you, no need to read on). 

Why we do it, I'm not sure. Probably because someone else has something nicer, prettier, or better than we do. At least we think they do. We... and let me clarify: by "we" I mean "I". I compare my car, my house, my finances, and my clothes. I compare my strengths and weaknesses. I compare the shape of my body and my physical flaws. I compare my children's behavior and attitudes. 

Constant. Everyday. Comparing.

It might not be on the front of my mind, but subconsciously I am comparing and finding my faults all day long. Do you know what that does to a gal? I never feel good enough. And that's nobody's fault but my own. 

It's time to step back and look at the wonderful attributes that make you you. Each of us has been created uniquely and not a single one of us is perfect. God knew what He was doing when He formed you. So stop being so critical! You are an amazing person. Not in the same way that I am amazing or how your best friend is amazing, or how the ladies at church are amazing. But in your own, unique way, you are amazing.

And I know you have goals of who you are trying to become and where you are trying to go. But today, I think you need to embrace yourself for who you are right now. Realize that, despite your imperfections and failings, you are still special.

You are amazing.

KC

Sunday, September 21, 2014

can't take 'em personally

My kids are pretty wonderful. When I spend time with them, I often realize just how blessed I am. 

However, they also have times where they are rude and mean and treat me and/or their dad horribly. Today we were lucky enough to experience that from both our kids. There were tears, and anger, gnashing of teeth, and throwing punches. Okay, not those last two... but each kid did have a meltdown, the kind that makes a parent want to take a 2 week vacation right then and there.

This is where a valuable parenting mindset has become a very helpful tool for me. I try with all my heart not to take their words personally. My children are sinful little beings who are spewing forth whatever they can in order to get a reaction out of me. And, because they are young, they struggle with controlling the words that come out of their mouth when they are overly emotional about something. 

I, on the other hand, am an adult. If I let their words offend me and get me angry, I begin acting just like them. (I have to admit, that happens more often than I'd like!) But when I can take those words and filter them through the thought process that goes something like this:

She is overly emotional.
Don't take anything she says personally.
She doesn't mean most of what she's saying.
I don't need her to like me because I'm not her friend. 
I need her to respect me because I am her mom.
She'll apologize for everything afterwards anyway (she always does).

then I can keep my sanity. And when I keep my sanity, things always go a lot smoother. 

KC


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

miserable cow (because that is an awesome title, i think)

 
Augh! That miserable cow syndrome! It drives this overly optimistic gal crazy. I can almost always find the good in a situation. Or if I can't see the good, I know that in the future, God will bring beauty out of the ashes. He always has, so why should I doubt that He will in my future?

But, the merciful side of me understands that sometimes misery can't be helped. People go through some pretty terrible things in this life, and the lack of smiles on their face could be due to something we might not ever understand. 

I know there have been times when I've been caught up in an undercurrent of negative feelings that I can't seem to pull myself out of to breathe. My heart can't seem to find the good in life. 

So I go searching. I look for it. Sometimes it might mean leaving the house to get my favorite tea. Or taking the kids outside to the park, and swinging on the swing myself. Or picking up the phone to call a friend and talk through life and its emotions. Or finding the happiest music with the loudest bass to play throughout the entire house. Sometimes I turn on the TV for 30 minutes because I honestly think it turns off my brain. Like a restart switch. 

If I wallow in my misery, nothing changes. 

But if I get up and do something, things feel a little brighter. And when things are brighter, it's easier to continue on in life. And when you keep going with a brighter perspective, that's when awesome things start to happen. 

KC

Friday, September 12, 2014

manageable chaos

As today progressed, I found this quote going through my head which concisely explained what I was feeling pretty much the entire day:
I woke up in the morning, got out of bed, and hit the floor running. Baking, cleaning, phone calls, texts, emails, teaching, making reservations, feeding the kids somewhere in there, running errands in town, refueling at Starbucks, moving furniture, piano lessons, maintaining peace between 2 siblings, watching my nephew's soccer game, and the usual laundry and dishes. Dinner? Did dinner even happen? Cheese sticks, crackers, and Pringles count as dinner, right?

In the midst of it all, I had 30 minutes of quiet. A couple of piano students had to cancel and both my kiddos were gone with their friends.

I sat.

I breathed.

And then continued on with the chaos. Today's chaos was good. It was constant and tiring, but good. 

But some days the chaos is difficult. It feels impossible to carry through. It's heavy and you might not get that 30 minute break. How do you get through that?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have made it through some pretty terrible days leaning into God's arms. 

In my mind I know that throughout all the chaos, I can have that "10% peace" of knowing that God is ultimately in control. Sometimes the chaos comes with tears of agony or frustration or exhaustion. But I can still have that peace of knowing that God holds me as I walk through it all and I know I'll come out okay on the other side. 

When there is chaos, I no longer feel in control, and that is a feeling I personally, don't really like. But knowing that God still has control makes it all manageable.

KC



Tuesday, September 9, 2014

joy along the way

When I was a kid, we would go on road trips. Some were long (from California to Montana), while others were short (from home to Mt. Hermon or to Sunset Beach - a couple hours). It didn't matter how long or short, I couldn't wait to get to the destination. The trip itself was boring. We didn't have electronics to keep us busy. We had to look out the windows. Or play the alphabet game. Or find license plates of all 50 states (stupid Hawaii). 

As I became a grown up, I realized that there was enjoyment in the road trip itself. I now pack the car with all kinds of junk food, load up on caffeine, play DJ with the radio stations, and look out the windows. Sometimes we make pit stops along the way in interesting little cities or at fruit stands or unique restaurants. The journey has now become part of the vacation.

And such is life.

Sometimes we get so caught up in where we are trying to get to or to attain our next goal, that we forget to see the beauty along the way. We focus so much on the end result that we get impatient and forget to enjoy the process of getting there.

Here's a small scale example: some days when I homeschool, I can't wait to get everything checked off the to-do school list. I'm pushing the kids to keep working, to quit messing around, and to get it done. But if I slow down a bit, I am exposed to the incredibly humorous things that come out of my 6 year old son's mouth. He is a crack up! And I cannot express the happiness I feel when I hear my daughter sit at the piano and practice her lesson...without complaining!! People, anything done without complaining around here is a huge deal! As my two kids play together, I hear them giggle and use their imaginations together - I'm watching them build a close relationship as brother and sister. Priceless! I don't want to miss those things simply because I want to be done with school.

And then there's the long term example: overhauling a house. We have lived in this house for a couple of years now. I look around and see all that needs to be done around here. Our last house had numerous upgrades done to it: we lived there for 9 years! Moving in here was like starting from scratch. But we have done improvements and I try to enjoy them now that we have them. It's so easy to look at what I don't have instead of seeing all that I have been given.

The hardest part about finding joy in the journey is that you have to look for it. But the best part is finding it because then the journey is so much more enjoyable. 

KC


Monday, September 8, 2014

good support

About once a week I have the opportunity to spend some time with my dear gals. My husband will graciously hold down the fort while I go to a friend's house and giggle the night away, as ladies left alone often do. Or I might head to a late (I mean late) movie with a group of gals who have no problem being the loudest ones in the theater. (If you've ever been in the theater with us, I apologize...sorta). 

But these women, amazing women, are the people that I would do anything I possibly could for. Sometimes my life gets crazy, and they all understand that. But if I'm available, I'm there for whatever they need.

And you know what the best part is? They are right there for me too! If I need somebody to watch my kids for a couple hours, or come be a part of an event I am hosting, or to be there for me to vent to - they are there. I'm sure they don't always want to, but that's what being a true friend us about: sometimes you do the stuff you don't feel like doing.

My mom always said: to have a friend you have to be a good friend. (If you even wonder where most of my wisdom comes from, now you know: amazing parents). It's so much easier to develop a friendship with someone when you show a personal interest in them, as well as what they do or are involved in. Even something as simple as "liking" their status on Facebook (let me just tell you: I check out who likes my stuff on Facebook all the time!) 

It's easy to be a flake, to be someone who says they will come and support, but never shows up. But to be that friend who comes to back you when no one else does, that is a valuable friend to have. 

It took me a while to figure this out, but essentially, being a good friend meant "showing up." 

Thanks to all my friends who constantly "show up" for me. You mean the world to me.

KC






Sunday, September 7, 2014

hug your mom

Today was my daughter's birthday. We celebrated with our family, all the aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. We had lunch, cake and ice cream, presents, and swimming. I love having my family over. I love hosting at my house. And I love the little girl who I did all this work for today. 

But that little girl only told me "thank you" one time today. And it was after she opened her gift from us and only after I reminded her to thank us! 

Now, I'm not saying this to put my kiddo down. There are plenty of times when she shows me gratefulness. And I understand the excitement of getting caught up in a day that's all about you. And she exercises good manners on a pretty regular basis outside the home...

But this exhausted mom could have used a gigantic hug at the end of the day from the birthday girl.

I don't know about the rest of you parents, but as a mom I have never given so much of myself to anything as much as I have to my children. I have sacrificed my desires, my time, and my sleep for them. I have cried countless tears of sadness, worry, and frustration. I have pushed myself past my limits and out of my comfort zone numerous times for them. 

But that's what moms do. It's a wonderful sucky job. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

If your mom is still around, maybe it's time to give her a call or take her out to buy her a cup of coffee. Tell her thank you for giving of herself for you. 

And give her a great big hug.

(Love you, Mom!)

KC



 


Saturday, September 6, 2014

blessings

I have been blessed. I was raised in a Christian family, surrounded by Christian friends. God has placed Christian people in my life as I have "grown up" (sorta) to stand with me in tough times, to give me godly advice when I've needed it, and to build me up. I am blessed.

Looking back, there have been a number of people who have come and gone in my life. Some who have gone, they were meant to go. They were around me for their own selfish gain or to teach me a lesson and then move on.  Sometimes they've meandered out of my life in their own way. Other times God had to show me to back up and distance myself. When people are toxic, sometimes you have to make the choice to remove the toxins. (My Momma always told me: bad company corrupts good morals). 

And then there are those who have come and stayed. Those are my favorite. Whether I talk to a person every day or once a month, there are some who have found a place in my heart and stay there, no matter how far away they might be, no matter how often I talk to them. And I have chosen those people to reside in my heart. They are my blessings from God.

So when a blessing walks into your life, don't let them go. Take them, grab them, and tuck them into your heart. And take care of them, because those people, they are the ones who will help you survive in this world when you feel like you can't do it on your own. 

KC

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

little by little

One of my dear sister-in-laws reminded me of a very important perspective the other day.
So often in life, we look at where we are and where we want to be and they seem so far away from each other.

A thousand projects that need to be done around the house.
Getting the kids' chore list complete and having them follow through on it regularly. (Ha!)
Working to get my body in better shape.
Transforming the food choices in our house to be completely healthy.
Staying on top of the housework. That laundry pile never seems to get smaller.

And sometimes looking at where you are trying to get to, while you are standing where you are, you almost feel like giving up before you've even started. It feels impossible. Whatever you might do will barely make a dent in it all. Why even get started?

But my sister-in-law reminded me that it's okay to take small steps to get where you are going. It's something I've always said in CrossFit training: something is always better than nothing. Any kind of movement is always better than sitting on the couch. 

And it translates into other areas of life as well. Anything you do to reach your goal is better than not doing anything at all. Eventually, all your little steps will add up and instead of looking forward to where you still have to go, you'll be able to look back and see just how far you've already come.

KC




Tuesday, September 2, 2014

because they're still little

For those of you who aren't yet aware: I'm homeschooling our two kiddos. We are entering our 3rd week and despite the complaining and grumbling and whining (and a little of that from the kids too), I am completely at peace with this decision.

My husband and I prayed about this decision for about 7 months before we finally decided to jump back into the home school world. I went from "absolutely not!" to  " things would really have to fall into place..." to "we are definitely going to home school!" 

That God of ours: when He wants something to happen, He makes it happen.

Little by little, God confirmed the idea that He had planted in our minds. I could probably name at least 64 reasons why we are home schooling. But if I had to come up with the most prominent and important reason, the reason that I kept coming back to time and time again, it would be this one: my children are little for such a short time and this time right now is the most valuable time for me to pour Jesus Christ into them.

You see, someday my kids are going to think they are smarter than me (my 8 year old daughter already does!) and then they will completely stop listening to me. But right now, while they are still pliable and mold-able, I have the opportunity to teach them about Jesus and how important He should be in their lives.

Last year, I taught piano lessons in the afternoon. My kids would come home from school and I would be working, at home - which was wonderful - but still not able to spend very much quality time with my children. I don't want to look back and regret that I didn't spend more time with them while they were still living in my home...and I was already feeling that way last year!

I came across this video on youtube of an artist that I had the privilege of meeting this past year. He sings in a well known Southern Gospel group but also does solo work. If you haven't had the opportunity to hear this yet, it'll get you right in the heart. Click here to see the video. (This song was nominated for a Dove Award this year for Country Song of the Year. Devin and his buddy, Doug will also be performing here in Ripon on September 15, 7:00 at Immanuel Church - shameless plug!)

Here's the thing, though. Not everyone is called to home school. I believe that with my whole heart. Many people have told me that they couldn't do it. And that's okay because God calls each person according to His purpose.  But that's where God pointed us, so that's where we went.

So, when then grumbling, complaining, and whining start to happen, I'll just tell myself to shape up because I'm doing what God wants me to do!

KC

Monday, September 1, 2014

knock knock banana


What a ridiculous title for a blog post! But it is what it is. It'll explain itself later...eventually.

My daughter can't get out of her own way. Sometimes she starts in on something and blows it way out of proportion till it's absolutely ridiculous. She will be beside herself with anger over something as simple as: me telling her "no" to a piece of gum before dinner. Anyone else live in this ridiculous parenting world? Or am I alone here, pulling my hair out strand by strand...

With this child of mine, I have realized that I cannot deal with her situation until she can garner an ounce of logic back in to her brain. Typically during an episode (she's too old for them to be called tantrums, so we call them episodes... but they're really tantrums) all she can see is what she wants and isn't getting, while logic leaks out the back door. Sometimes we manage this by using the "squirrel technique." If any of you parents have ever seen the movie Up, you know what I'm talking about: distraction. 

Tonight's method of distraction: my awesome sense of humor. As I sat in her room, listening to her moan, I started telling her the knock knock banana joke. 

Me: knock, knock
Her: moan
Me: banana!
Her: moan
And I repeated that 3 times followed by:
Me: knock, knock
Her: moan with smile
Me: orange
Her: loud moan because she knows the punchline
Me: orange you glad I didn't say banana?!

And as she started to giggle, I told her two other silly knock knock jokes and by the time I was finished, she was giggling, back to herself, ready to have a conversation. And I didn't raise my voice once! 

If I can get my girl back to "conversation mode" we will be able to make astounding steps in the right direction. By the end of our conversation this evening, she was apologizing without any promoting from me. 

In this world of parenting, you need a sense of humor. If you can't laugh at yourself or with your kids once in a while, you might find yourself going slowly insane. 

KC