Wednesday, December 14, 2016

call them out

Tonight I had a discussion with one of my kiddos. 
Well, it wasn't really a discussion, it was more of a "talking to" punctuated with her "But I..." and "But, Mom..." and "whiiiiining" and "moooooannnning."
The child cannot help but interrupt me. 

Augh! and *sigh*

So a typical "discussion" in this house with one of our kids starts out with a bit of lecturing. Because you know what? I am in charge. I am the boss! AND YOU WILL HEAR ME!! 

But it promptly turns to questioning. I ask the kids questions about what they did and how it made others feel and if they handled it correctly or kindly or of there was a better way and WWJD (yes, it is still a legit question .) This makes them do the thinking. This gets them involved instead of them tuning me out during a lecture. Why should I do all the work, just to be ignored? Nah, kid - you are going to do the thinking and feeling and understanding. Lecture yo-self!

And somewhere in there, I always do this. (This was a lightbulb that went on in my head a few years back when my eldest and I were going round and round and round and frustratingly round in a "discussion.") I call them out. I straight up call a sin a sin. I tell them that they were wrong. 

You disobeyed your parents - that's wrong.
You used violence when you hurt your sibling - that's wrong.
You talked back to me, disrespectful - that's wrong.
You lied to me - that's wrong.
You didn't do what I asked you to do 10 times - that's wrong.
You were sneaky - that's wrong.

When you paint the picture clearly for them, there's little room for "discussion." Typically, when I pull the "you're wrong" card, my children get quiet, and an apology follows shortly. Sometimes stubbornness gets in the way. But more often than not, putting that sharp realization of "wrong" in front of them gives them little room to refute. 

I know that it seems harsh, but isn't sin a harsh thing? Shouldn't it remain that way? Shouldn't wrong-doings still have some shock value to them? 

Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned or conservative or whatever label you want to put on me, but when it comes to my children whom I love indescribably, I'm going to point out the wrongs, no pulling punches, so that they see and feel a definite difference in their consciences about what is right and what is wrong.

Now, if I could only get them to stop pointing out when I'm wrong...

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