don't and never

I've written much about my amazing strong-willed girl on this blog. She's a life-changer, I'm tellin' you. That personality, her determination, has brought many tears and grumblings under my breath and a few not-so-quiet grumblings. But I've also seen so many beautiful things from this girl that just make my entire being smile as I witness her being her.

My dear mommas and daddys: your children, each of them, no matter what type of personality they have, each kiddo is an incredible part of who you can be or are already becoming. I am so very far from perfect and far, far, far away from being great. I've got flaws and weaknesses all over the stinkin' place. But I'll tell you what: I like myself a whole lot better post-Jayne and post-Lincoln than I did before they were born. 

I am who God created me to be, but He sent those two to shape me and mold me into something even more. 

I throw up my hands frequently.

I send texts to my husband on a regular basis saying the things I'd like to say to the kids, but can't because my frustrated words could ruin them so I send them to Scott because he takes them and reads them with grace and understanding.

I yell "AUGH!" through my gritted teeth every. single. day. (Multiple times.)

I make angry faces at my kids when they aren't looking. 

"Fine! Do it your way!" comes out of my mouth more than it should.

Sometimes I give in.

Sometimes I give up and go to my room.

But.

I never give up hope.

I never give up hoping that maybe something I'm doing or saying is sinking in.

I never give up hope that my efforts are not in vain.

I never give up hope and quit trying all together.

I never give up hope that these kids' future are secured in God's hands.

And

I never stop trying.

I pick myself back up and try again.

I wake up the next morning determined to affect my children's lives.

I return from defeat over and over again and push through to reach my kids' hearts.

I keep educating myself, trying new things, getting more advice, and I keep trying.

Mommys.

Daddys.

Don't give up hope.

Never stop trying.

Fruit is coming.

And it's because of you.

KC