Monday, November 12, 2018

the word

Ya know, I'm not really the type of person who picks out a word that defines me for the year. I haven't had a year of "rest" or a year of "hustle." I think so much happens in a year that it's hard for me to determine what kind of year it's going to be before it even starts. I mean a year ago my life went a completely different direction than I had planned out when I found out my mom had a large cancerous tumor that had to be removed, followed by chemo treatments that wiped her out completely. That'll change the course of the year for a gal. (Even more so for my mom, obviously!)

(And for those who aren't aware, she stopped the chemo at the end of last year and has been recovering this entire year, pushing herself to get stronger and make healthier choices for herself. She has an appointment in a week to see if that tumor decided to leave and never come back.)

This year was the same as all my other years: I didn't pick out a word. But there's one that keeps showing up frequently. It appears when I write. It appears in my home decor. It appears when I study scripture with my kids. It comes up in conversations with my friends. It shows up in pretty much all of my pastor's sermons. It has ALWAYS been present in my life, but this year it feels like God is flashing the word in bright letters right in front of my face everywhere I go.

KATHY: PAY ATTENTION THIS TIME!!

It's grace.

Undeserved favor.

I did not ever earn it.
I still cannot do anything to earn it.
I definitely do not deserve it. I stink at being good and perfect and righteous.
And here I sit, still bummed on myself and all my imperfectness, badness, and wrongness.

Seriously, you guys! Why is it so hard to grasp this concept?

I have theories.
I think we are surrounded by expectations and judgement in this world. We don't hand out enough grace ourselves. We don't receive enough grace from those around us. It's not practiced near enough. So it's not familiar and not easy to accept. Especially in a world that makes you try to earn everything!

And this is not just in the worldly world, the secular world, the non-Christian world. It's right here in front of our Christian noses. I'm not sure God even needs to judge us because we are doing a pretty good job of judging each other here. (I mean, He really does need to judge us: we stink at being judges because we are each pretty full of yuck and filth and He isn't at all, which makes Him much better at this whole judging thing.)

And we are fighting a constant battle with the devil who tells us that we have to be good and perfect enough in order to receive this gift of grace. Which he knows we never will be so that's just cruel. Mean old devil.

So for all those reasons, I put that word up in my home, and talk about it in conversations, and teach my children about it, and continue to learn about it from the Bible. Because I need constant reminding that my God is so loving that He gifted me this phenomenal grace despite me and my shortcomings.

Now what to do with that grace...
Keep making those bad choices over and over and over again?
I think of it like this: If I had a car that had a dent in it, another little ding in it wouldn't be that big of a deal, and if I ended up in a fender bender with my dented and dinged up car, I probably wouldn't get too upset and then if I lost a headlight or a fender, well, it's already a trash heap so whatever.
But if someone looked at that heap and traded me their brand new Maserati (I cannot help my love for expensive cars) for that pile of trash, I think I might take better care of that Maserati and drive with more caution and be more mindful of my driving choices because I am SO grateful for this amazing car that someone graciously gave me, even though I wasn't a good driver and didn't take good care of my heap beforehand!
(Is this making sense to anyone else whose brain likes things explained in pictures like mine does?)

So this gift of grace is our motivator. It inspires us to try harder to be better out of our gratitude to God who gave it to us. Are we going to do a perfect job at not sinning? HA! No, but you might find your attitude is adjusted when you truly understand what this grace means for your life. And you might also find yourself handing out that grace a little more freely than before you had received it. (You know, kinda like a "pay it forward" sort of deal.)

In order for us to be constantly reminded of this grace, maybe we should follow Paul's lead in his letters and greet one another with grace and peace every day.
 "Grace and peace to you, Karen!"
"And grace and peace to you as well, Debbie!"

For some reason, I don't think that will catch on...

KC



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