Nope! Still not perfect.
And what's worse is that I feel myself getting into a habit of pushing God away because I'm not worthy of a relationship with Someone so perfect. Why hang out with the likes of me? I make stupid choices all the time. God must constantly have his head in his hands over me. I know I do!
And here comes the beauty, the part of this relationship that I need to be remind of every. single. hour:
People! I cannot handle this grace! I cannot comprehend this vast and immense gift that I am so undeserved of.
All I had to do was ask and BOOM! Grace!
I didn't earn it.
I don't deserve it.
And yet it's mine.
How do I even respond to that? This God who continues to bless me and to forgive me and to walk alongside my sorry butt (yeah, Mom, I said "butt" - sorry!) even when I think He should have left me stranded years ago.
I want to respond with better choices and to try to be perfect...but that's setting myself up for failure.
So I respond with gratitude.
And I live a life of joy.
Because my God loves me, despite me.