because God said so

I got to meet with one of my favorite gal pals for coffee last evening. I just love when God puts real people in my life, friends who aren't afraid to share the truth of their lives, people with whom I can share my heart, my fears, my desires and weaknesses.

One of the topics that came up a few times was the "letting go" topic. I like to think that I can just let things go. You know, make a decision and be fine with it. Do something (or not do something) and not think twice about it.

But that's not really the case with me. I tend to be an overthinker.
I worry about my kids when they get sick and how serious things need to get before we need to consider Urgent Care (as my husband gives a dose of Ibuprofen and sends them off to bed).
I think about conversations I've had. Did I explain myself clearly? Did I say everything as I meant to? Could I have hurt someone's feelings? Did my foot ever enter my mouth?
I stress about what people think about me and my decisions. Seriously, I'm out here on this blog and I totally worry about what you all think of me! No lie!
I worry about decisions we have made for our kids.
I worry about the future for our family.
I worry about my mom and my brothers and their families.
I think about my friends and wonder what more I could be doing for them. And how horrible of a friend I am and how much better I could be. (People, I rarely get birthdays remembered...)
I even stress about what other drivers on the road think of me!

I know that one of the root causes for this is my people-pleasing personality. I'm not saying I'm really good at it, I just really don't like upsetting people and I really like to have good relationships.  And I just want there to be peace everywhere I look! Because anything else is stressful. And dramatic. And awkward and overwhelming.

But lately God seems to be sending me some kind of message. It's the kind of message that He's already told me numerous times but I decided I would ignore it and so He decided that He would just keep pointing it out to me until I got it through my thick skull. He'll win, I know it because, well, He's God. But: thick skull.

When God makes it very obvious that I am doing what He has called me to do, I need to do it and let it go. He gave me the direction to go. My job is to follow that direction and stop stressing about it. He didn't call me to that direction because I'm amazing and going to do everything perfectly. (Bwahahahahahahahaha!!) No, He just said do it.

Apparently I am a bit of a control freak because when He tells me not to worry, I'm really good at worrying. If He could just let me see the future and could give me all the reasons I shouldn't worry or stress, maybe that'd be helpful.

But nope. He's too big for that.
And I need to rest in that fact right there: He's bigger than me and He's got this all in His hands.

Let go.
Let God.
(Four little words of truth).

KC