be embarrassing, be embarrassed

My kids have to endure all the embarrassing things from my husband and me. We go out of our way to make sure that they experience all the eye-rolling and head shaking opportunities that we can offer them. It's our right as parents. WE HAVE EARNED THAT RIGHT, for Pete's sake!

I'm a big fan of making a goofy fool of myself in front of and with my kids. I sing at the top of my lungs when we're in the truck. I dance in the kitchen while I cook (shoot, I dance anywhere, even in the truck while we're driving around!) I say ridiculous things to their friends and crack jokes that only I think are funny (and I laugh too, even if I am the only one! ...which I usually am.) I'm sure it you asked my kids, they could list 45 other embarrassing things that I've done to traumatize them.

But you know what? With all that, I've managed to create a very open relationship with my kids. Through my unabashed goofiness and my willingness to talk about pretty much anything with my kids, it has been established that those two kiddos of mine can approach me to talk about anything that's on their mind.

Parents, if there is one piece of advice I can give you, it's this: don't be so prideful that you close all doors of communication with your kids. (That's tonight's advice, anyway. It could be different advice next week!) It's hard and it's embarrassing and humiliating, but all of that is worth it to have communication with your kids.

I've been having open conversations since my kids were old enough to understand me. We've talked about drugs, smoking, sex, homosexuality, racism, God, the devil, and a myriad of other subjects that my kids are being exposed to at young ages. (Don't worry, I am very clear to my children about which subjects should not get discussed with other children!) 

There are some tough subjects to talk about with our kids these days. But if we don't get out of our own way to talk about the embarrassing things, someone else probably will and we might not like what they have to tell our kids. 

So here's my challenge to you: find that subject you've been avoiding talking about with your kid. Pray about it, rehearse what you want to say (I do that all the time!) and then intentionally find a time to bring it up and discuss with them. Open doors. You never know when you'll be glad that you did...

KC 

waging a battle

It was a rough morning for our oldest child.

Which meant it was an extremely rough morning for us all. 

*sigh*

After her storm of lightning and thunder (it was bordering on being a hurricane, folks) passed, she was quiet for a bit. (Here's where the hours upon hours of intentional conversations and speaking truth and wisdom into her life are starting to bear fruit. I'm telling you, that hard work pays off!) During the quiet, she was thinking. And after the thinking for a while she said, "You're not ready for an apology yet, are you, Mom?"

(She knows that an apology, spoken at the height of my frustration will not fix anything. If there is no thought or remorse, I will not hear it.)

So she waited a little longer before speaking. And then she launched into an incredible apology. Ultimately, she told me that she doesn't know why she does what she does. She knows how she is acting isn't right but she struggles to change it. (*The incredible part is that she told me that she knew there a lot of her friends that respected me and also a lot of other people in my life who respected me, but she told me that she was my biggest fan. Come on, people!)

After she told me of her struggle of choosing right, I gave her the reason why.

There is a battle for our children's souls on a daily basis. I've prayed for their little souls as they face great big battles. But today, I handed a little more power to my girl. (When you understand the battle, then you can combat it better.) I explained that the devil is constantly at work, trying to convince her to make bad decisions. He wants her soul! But I also told her she doesn't have to fight alone. Jesus wants her soul as well and will help her and fight beside her to win.

She's no different from me. I've got a war raging inside for my soul as well. We all do.

So let's call it what it is: a battle, and then let's fight.

KC

fresh

(Okay, so when you work really hard on something and it's flowing and has great inspiration and you save it thus far and the app poops out on you and you discover it didn't save at all, that's one of two things. Either 1: you really shouldn't be writing it in the first place, OR 2: the devil doesn't want you to write it and by golly, you are NOT going to let him win! AUGH! I will NOT let him win!! ...or maybe I just shouldn't be writing it: y'all can be the judge.)

So you know night time, when you sit back and reflect on how amazing your day was and how you handled all things with confidence and wisdom and maturity, and how things went smoothly as the family all hugged and loved on each other in perfect harmony while kind and encouraging words were spoken to one another?

Yeah, me neither.

Night time: when my exhausted brain hits the pillow and I think of all the words that I shouldn't have said and of all the yelling and arguing that took place along with the frustrated sighs and all my failures light up like neon signs in my mind while my shortcomings roll through like a train and the things that I didn't accomplish loom over me like a ginormous rain cloud.

That might be a little more accurate for what really happens to me. Although I'll admit, sometimes that scenario drags me out of sleep at 3:00 in the morning, plaguing me for an hour before letting my messy head go back to sleep.

You know what my best combat for all that garbage is? It's a simple little phrase that I've been telling myself for years. And I tell it to my gal friends and they tell it to me when they know I need to hear it. It's a little phrase that offers hope after a frustrating day. It helps me fall asleep knowing that I'll wake up ready to get up and face the day....well mostly: I'm a pretty big fan of the soft blanket I sleep under so getting out from under that is actually my biggest hurdle in the morning. It's super fuzzy and warm and cozy...

But that phrase! (Sorry - I get sidetracked. If you've known me for at least 15 minutes, it's apparent.)

Here's that phrase:

Tomorrow is a new day!

Tomorrow

Is

A

New

Day.

All the malarkey and trash from today is left with today. Tomorrow is full of new potential. Tomorrow is full of hope! Tomorrow is fresh. It is different. An opportunity to do things differently. To set failures aside and try, try again. Tomorrow is a new day.

My today was rough. For a variety of reasons: big and small. Tomorrow, some of those things will probably still be there, but I will face them head-on with determination and hope. And I'm probably still gonna fail, but that's okay because each day is followed by a new tomorrow.

So people: sleep well tonight!

Tomorrow is a fresh day. 

KC

smilin'

One of my uncles had a conversation with me a while back that made me smile. We had been chatting about my schedule and how crazy busy I tend to keep myself and how many different things I've got on my very full plate. He looked at me and said, "...and here you are, still smiling."

So maybe my smile is a bit like the Mad Hatter's: crazy and wild-eyed, but it stems from something much deeper than all that's going on in life. And it's genuine.

That smile that symbolizes my outlook on life, it comes not from finding perfection, but contentment. 

I don't have it all. 

My life isn't perfect. 

There are battles and struggles daily. 

And some days life chews me up and spits me out.

But.

I am content.

Why?

Because I have realized that there is no greater satisfaction to be found than to give of myself. 

To those I love.

To my family.

To my friends.

To strangers.

And even to people who have irritated/frustrated/upset me...(although I'll admit I'm not so good at giving to them.)

And by "give" I don't just mean "stuff and things." 

I mean give my time, my effort, my abilities, my ears to listen, and my heart.

There is so much more that we can give besides "stuff."

When I was a kiddo at Christmas time, I would never have imagined myself saying this and believing it but: it is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35. WAY more blessed. 

Try it. 

Little by little: give.

It'll become a habit.

And then: BOOM! 

Contentment starts to sneak in.

KC

me, not you

Ya wanna know something interesting?

Of course you do. You're reading my blog and it's almost always interesting because you never know what's gonna come out of my mouth...er...fingers...uh...brain. 

Whatever. 

You get it.

I've been thinking. (Dangerous, I know.) 

I can't tell you how often I have heard people complain about the shortcomings or failures of another person or group of people. It seems as though all the struggles in this life are because of somebody else. It's so easy to point out what someone else should do to be a better person. Criticism comes quickly to our lips.

But what if, I mean would it be so terrible, what would be so wrong about turning the critical finger back on ourselves? Seriously: what if we stop telling other people how to be better people and started becoming better people ourselves?! 

When we put expectations on other people to meet our standard, there's a pretty good chance they're not going to meet it. We're gonna be disappointed. 

But, what if we took the focus off of them and put it on ourselves?

Let me give you one example: 

What if, instead of getting all frustrated and irritated with the extremely slow clerk at the grocery store, we used the situation as an opportunity to practice our patience (it is a virtue, people) and to show some kindness through an encouraging word to the clerk (because blessed are the merciful AND the peacemakers, eh?) 

What would that do? Maybe help make the world a better place?! Maybe, instead of trying to change everyone else, we start with ourselves. 

Maybe, just maybe, we make a bigger difference pointing the finger at ourselves.

KC👈🏻

aging with grace

You know what stinks about getting older? (Not that I'm old, by any means: 25 is a great age to be😁) I think what really blows is that as I get older and wiser, I realize just how far from good and perfect I am. You would think that I would learn from my past and that I would become smarter in my decision-making skills....

Nope! Still not perfect. 

And what's worse is that I feel myself getting into a habit of pushing God away because I'm not worthy of a relationship with Someone so perfect. Why hang out with the likes of me? I make stupid choices all the time. God must constantly have his head in his hands over me. I know I do! 

And here comes the beauty, the part of this relationship that I need to be remind of every. single. hour: 

Grace. 

People! I cannot handle this grace! I cannot comprehend this vast and immense gift that I am so undeserved of. 

All I had to do was ask and BOOM! Grace!

I didn't earn it.

I don't deserve it.

And yet it's mine.

How do I even respond to that? This God who continues to bless me and to forgive me and to walk alongside my sorry butt (yeah, Mom, I said "butt" - sorry!) even when I think He should have left me stranded years ago.

I want to respond with better choices and to try to be perfect...but that's setting myself up for failure. 

So I respond with gratitude. 

And I live a life of joy.

Because my God loves me, despite me.

KC

5 best things about fall

Ok. One of my bestie girlfriends tells me that I should write lists once in a while because she's a sucker for them. And so am I!! So let's hope more of you all are suckers just like us...

I chose to write about the 5 things I like about this season because, unlike many if you, I don't actually care for the fall. It's definitely in competition for my least favorite season... However, I try to look for the good in everything, so that's what I did with this list: 

1. Rain boots. I dislike rain, but I love rain boots. And even if it's just a little bit cloudy, I'm gonna wear them because rain boots are so fun! I know it's probably some kind of fashion faux pas to wear them as much as I do, but I don't really let fashion faux pas' stand in my way.  Never have. Never will. Shucks, I don't even know what faux pas means - I'm lucky I even figured out how to spell it! And if you're shopping: I'm partial to polka dotted rain boots. 😉

(I won't stop a single one of you from buying these for me. I wear a size 9.)

2. The fireplace. Okay, not the fireplace because ours is ugly, surrounded by white tile, no mantle, and puts out very little heat. So let's change that to the ambiance of the fireplace. There's a little flame in there, putting off just enough warmth to feel useful, and creating enough flickering light to make the room feel cozy. With the first rain of the season comes the annual text/call to Scott to make sure the flue is open before we light 'er up! 

3. Blankets. I am a blanket fiend. Quilted, furry, soft, big or lap-sized, afghan, cartoon characters, heavy, lightweight...I'm truly not biased when it comes to blankets. I love blankets of all sizes, shapes, colors, and textures. And I'll even share my blanket, unless you try to play some footsie game with me. That is not my bag. Then you can find your own blanket...

(I'm pretty sure I need this blanket, but I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than 45 minutes to learn how to do it.) 

4. Pumpkin spiced...just kidding! Once I got sick after eating pumpkin-flavored fudge. It wasn't the fudge's fault, I'm sure, but the relationship was created and now I can't eat pumpkin spiced anything, except pie. However, in order to make this #4 a legit part of the list: Salted Caramel Mocha Frap from Starbucks. I rarely get the sugar-filled drink, but I'll admit that I splurge every great once in a while during this time of year because I love a good sweet/salty combo. Mmmmm-hmmmm!!

(If you need to know my address for delivery, just text me.)

5. Perspective shift. It always happens as we are on our way to Thanksgiving. Life turns from the focus of getting itself together with the start of school, to calming down and focusing on the people and other blessings God has given us. I'll admit, I'm still in the crazy stage of school happening, but as we get closer to a few breaks in our schedule and we can breathe a bit more, we start to appreciate each other and our time together a whole lot more. Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays for my family: we eat, we hang out with those closest to us, and we set aside the entire day for playing games! 

What about you? 

Why do you like this fall season?

KC