no matter what

Tonight I laid next to my son on the bottom bunk to tell him good-night. We chatted for a bit and then I headed into a quick intentional conversation topic: loving him no matter what. If he was naughty or having a bad day or did something that he thought would really disappoint him: I might be sad, but I would still love him no matter what. (Even if I was ugly, Mom? Hahaha! Yes, goofball, even if you were ugly). 

This reminded me of another conversation I had last week with my 20 year old niece. She is doing amazing things with Students For Life, a group of pro-life supporters with the desire to educate people about their choice regarding abortion. 

Without getting too far off topic, here was one aspect that we talked about: parents communicating with their children about the mistakes their kids have made and how they will love them through it. There is a severe lack of this form of communication! Standards are set and making any choices that take you outside those standards would be life-shattering! So where does that leave our teens? With no choice but to keep secrets from their parents and potentially make decisions that will affect them the rest of their lives. 

Do you remember being a teenager? The temptations are greater now, people! There are more things available to trip up our children than when we were kids. And available to them younger now! I have to work hard to protect my kids' little hearts. 

Let me ask you this: have you told your teenager that you love them no matter what? Does the thought of doing that make you uncomfortable? I don't know about you, but I think not telling them is a bigger risk than the few (however uncomfortable) moments you take to open a door of communication with your teen. (Bonus: you are setting the example of God's unconditional love for them as well.)

And I know what some of you are thinking: "If I tell my kid that I'll love them no matter what they do, then I'm practically giving them permission to go ahead and do it!" 

But I'm telling you this: your kid is not perfect and has already made mistakes that maybe you don't even know about. 

HOWEVER, if you have established that communication with your child to begin with, you can help to educate them about the outcome of their choices (because chances are you made a few bad choices yourself as a teen), so that they not only have their wisdom to apply to it, but yours too. 

(That was a lovely run-on sentence with a whole lot going on in it. I'm sorry! And you might want yo go back and read it again - I had to a few time.) 

I might not know much about those teenage years yet, (although my daughter has been acting like a 16 year old for about 5 years now...) but I do know that the notes my parents left me in my room and the words they spoke to me in difficult situations went far in my life. Your teen might act like your words don't mean that much to them, but your words mean the world to them. 

Keep talking to them. 

KC