my stupid kryptonite

I have a kryptonite. I don't like that there is this part of me that is weak and that can devastate me, but it is who I am and I am learning from it and becoming stronger because of it... I think.

I also don't like the idea of telling you all what my kryptonite is, but I've always been honest and real about myself and chances are one or two or fifteen of you have this same weakness. 

I don't like being hurt. I don't like words that crush my heart. I don't like when people express their dislike for me or something about me without tact. I don't like thoughtless criticism. I am affected deeply by unkind words. 

When I was a child, I would shudder at someone raising their voice in anger, even if it wasn't directed at me!  I have been known, just recently, actually, to stay up till all hours of the night, just thinking through someone's harsh words. I have cried, I have written out my emotions, I have wanted to yell, and I have gotten mighty angry (in my own head, which is not fun because you don't physically get to punch or break things) at the careless words said to me in order to bring me down. 

The people-pleaser in me truly struggles to let it go. These things will haunt me for days. Your words have the power to devastate me.

And I know I'm not the only one.  

But you know what I've learned from all of this? That I don't want to be that person, the one who brings others down with their words. I have learned how to speak with tact and care (although I'm sure my husband might disagree about how often I use both in our "discussions." But he's already committed to loving me, despite my faults. So I'm quite fortunate in that aspect!) I do try to think through all I say and try to hear it from the other person's perspective. I'm still not great at it, but my intentions are good.

And you know what else? I have made it my goal to build others up, not tear them down. Imagine if we walked through our days with the intention of building up the people around us, the people we see everyday? Family, friends, co-workers, but also cashiers, waitresses/waiters, baristas (because those are my everyday people) or even random people in a store! How good would your day be if a random gal walked up and complimented you on your shoes, or even better: your hair?! 

Let's be that gal. Let's be the intentional people. The people who look to build others up. Let's give each other a measure of grace and seek to encourage. 

Meanwhile, if you do decide to use my kryptonite against me,you need to know that I've got a strong husband standing behind me who won't hesitate to back me up and punch you in the nose! Well, maybe he wouldn't go that far... 

KC