Thursday, May 12, 2016

good kids

Over the past few years I've tried to be a parent who creates intentional conversations with my kids. I make a point to take time to explain things to them and to discuss their behavior and its outcomes. I try to be purposeful in what we are discussing so they can apply it all to their own lives. 

But I realized a couple days back that I was greatly lacking in one area of intentional conversation. I do not build my kids up near enough. I might think about their strengths and notice their good behavior. I even talk about their successes with other people. 

But I do not tell them often enough how proud I am of them. It was evident today by a simple compliment I paid my daughter. I told her that she had amazing musical abilities in singing and playing piano and that I was very proud of her ability to spell. Her countenance changed immediately. Her face brightened and she lifted her chin up in pride. All it took was 3 sentences.

Later on in the day I pointed out to her how her attitude and behavior had changed for the better since she got grounded earlier this week. That she seemed happier and more agreeable in the midst of her discipline. As she brushed her teeth and got ready for bed, she told me how good that made her feel.

People. We don't need to inflate these little egos to the point of "I'm better than you," but these little hearts do need to hear that they are good! 

I spend so much time correcting behavior that I forget to point out the positive. I've got great kids, but I definitely don't tell them often enough. 

Think about it: when someone encourages you or builds you up, it makes you want to continue to be amazing at whatever they complimented you on, right? Same with our kids. 

Build them up with your intentional conversations. I know that I need to see my kids smile more often. When they feel good about themselves, it shows.  


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