order of importance

For anyone who has known me for even a smidge of time, you know that I am a busy person. I like to live a full life. Sometimes to my own detriment, usually resulting in exhaustion and maybe a wee bit of stress. I just don't want to miss out on anything or anyone in this life! 

But I will tell you this: when it comes right down to it, I will always put God, my husband, and my children (in that order) before anything or anyone else. And they, in return, and out of love for me, share me. 

When life gets a bit to busy for me, I have to step back, prioritize, and then choose what is best for my family. Sometimes that means saying no to something I really wanted to do. And sometimes it means saying yes to something I really don't feel like doing. 

Now I know not everyone agrees with that order, but I think it's the best. Here's just one reason why:

God gave me these children to raise for just a little bit of time and they must be one of my primariy focuses while they are living with me. However, once they are moved out of this house, I would hate to have forgotten about my husband during the previous 18 or so years. I mean, we have a lifetime together and we need to keep working on it even during the youth of our children. That way when they move out, we will have a strong relationship already cultivated. But, sometimes man fails. Sometimes my husband and/or children are not perfect. But God is. He is always there for me. He never fails. 

So my God, my unfailing Savior, my Creator who is always there for me, will always take first place in my life. 

My husband, the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with (which is an awfully long time for him to put up with me) will always take the second place in my life.

And those precious little hearts, my children will always take the third placed in my life. 

And where do I fit in? How do I prioritize myself in this list? I think that is a blog post for another day...😴

KC

sisterhood

Last week was kind of a crazy week for me. Well, more crazy than usual! On top of the regular homeschooling, piano teaching, household junk, and mommy and wifey stuff, I subbed for two days. PE.  And socially, the calendar filled up mighty fast as well, and if you know me at all, you know I try hard not to miss out on a social event (must be a homeschooling mentality). By the time Sunday evening rolled around, I was watching a TV show with my husband with my eyes closed. 😴

Even through the busy-ness, I have to say that I was truly blessed. I have wonderful sisters-in-law. I know not everybody can say that, but mine truly step in as sisters for me, which is especially great for me because I don't have any biological sisters (although my Mom will tell you that I did beg for a younger sibling!) 

Two of my SILs were willing to watch my kids on the days that I was subbing. As it turns out, only one ended up having an open schedule to do so. But let me tell ya, I was ever so grateful that she could step in at the last minute to have them. And, although I knew she was doing me a favor, I loved that she was actually excited to have them over. That warms a mom's heart. 😊

Now my other SIL didn't even know it, but she was a life-saver for me as well. When I came to pick up her girls amd bring them to church one evening, out she came with a little meal all packaged up for my family - one of our favorites: white chicken chili and cornbread. And as it so happened, I had no time to prep for dinner the next night so I pulled out her meal, warmed it up, and my family scarfed it down. 🍲🍞

And after the craziness of Thursday and Friday, I woke up in a funk on Saturday. I couldn't pull myself out of it no matter how many pep talks I gave myself. I shot a quick little text to a dear friend of mine and within a couple hours she had called me and got me a gigglin and I was right as rain! 😜

Can I just tell you what a blessing a sisterhood can be? It might be close friends or biological sisters, aunts, nieces, cousins, in-laws, or your mom. Doesn't matter who, but these woman provide a little something that a guy typically doesn't understand. And I think that's okay. 

I experience this almost daily: a phone call or a text, a message on Facebook or an invite to a night out. So often, it comes just when I need it! Amazing how God prompts the right people at just the right time! 

I know there are times when someone is suddenly on my mind or heart and I feel the need to send them a little encouragement or a something to make them smile. I used to ignore the promptings, thinking the person receiving it would think I was weird or out of the blue in sending it. But I don't anymore. I figure that God has placed them on my heart for a reason, so I better follow his prompting. 

You ever have that? A little bit of joy from a good friend just when you needed it? Or someone who stepped in to help just when you thought you couldn't do it on your own? 

Thank the Lord for sisters!

KC

it's not perfect

When my dear friends ask me how homeschooling is going these days, I always respond with, "Great!" or "I love it!" or "There are so many blessings we are getting from it." 

But one answer you will never hear from me is that homeschooling is going perfect. 

Because it's not.

It never does and probably never will.

Homeschooling does a number on a parent's head, let me just tell you. We are not superheroes, by any means. If anything, we are constantly shown our weaknesses day in and day out. We worry that we are missing some important aspects of education or that we are too far behind in our subject matter. We don't get the luxury of just being regarded as teachers. Our children will always look at us as "Mom" which brings a whole lot more whining, moaning, and complaining than what you would get in a classroom. 

I raise my voice more than I care to admit. My children get sent to the principal's office at least once a week (i.e. a conference with Dad resulting in some type of discipline and the words, "Quit giving your mom such a hard time!") I struggle to separate my household duties from my educating time because laundry, groceries, dishes, and a dirty house are always staring at me. And every single ideal that I have set from the beginning of the school year, I have fallen behind in (which is why I try to set high standards to begin with!)

I need recesses too. And I don't get enough during the day time. Currently, I am in my room after telling my children that I need a break and don't want to see them for a while. I'm sure they are watching Power Rangers or Pokemon, but I don't care. We can mark that off as Special Interests in our education requirements. (Just kidding - we experience a lot of Special Interests, but in my homeschool world, watching TV shows just doesn't qualify!) 

When I say things are going great, I'm not lying. There are times when I step back from the chaos and it is easy for me to see the blessings...but that's a whole other blog post. 

So you all can feel free to take me off of any pedestal that you might have considered putting me on. I don't deserve it. Each of us answers the call that God puts on our hearts according to His will and His guidance. Mine just happens to be this crazy, upside-down world of homeschooling. 

And even though I usually feel like I'm failing at it, I still love it. 

KC

big ears

When I was younger (high schoolish age), my friends would often come to me when they were going through tough or frustrating situations. We would sit and I would listen as they vented their emotions about whatever they were going through: unfair parents, rude classmates, horrible teachers, fights with a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

At that point in my life, I didn't have much experience in...well...life! I was a high schooler, for Pete's sake. So I wasn't really able to offer much advice. But I would listen and nod my head when appropriate and say, "Uh-huh," a lot. I didn't think that made me a very good friend until someone told me that it was wonderful that I had such big ears.

I don't have big ears. They're actually quite petite. However, I was a good listener and sometimes that's all a person needs is a good listener, someone with big ears. 

Sometimes it just feels good to talk and get it all out of your head. And as you talk, things start to make more sense. And sometimes you need to know that someone sees your side of things, when it seems like everyone else disagrees. Sometimes you just need someone to be there. 

Nowadays, I have a bit of experience to glean advice from (most of the gleaning I have done from older and wiser people). However, just because I can speak, doesn't mean I should. And learning the difference between those two things can be tough. 

Some of the most difficult times for me have been when I didn't know who to talk to, who to trust with my intimate emotions, who would understand. But I knew that God was always there to listen. I could show Him my anger and frustration, share my disappointments, and express my desires. And He listened every time. And I knew He listened, because when I finished my conversation with Him, I felt the weight of it all lifted from my shoulders. 

1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.

KC

lifesavers

So we had just finished having pizza with a dear family who we are blessed to have a friends. My little family is piled up in the truck and my daughter asks, " Mom, why do you have to go out every Monday?" 

Now almost every Monday I head over to one of my dear friend's houses to hang out for a couple hours. It's nothing crazy. We go under the guise that we watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but truth be told, I don't think I've ever paid attention to an entire episode. And as of late, there's nothing on the TV when we get together, usually just music. It just kind of got to the point wher we realized that our conversation together was much more valuable than what was on the TV.

So when my daughter asked that question, my initial reaction was: I'm an adult and I don't have to give an account to my 9 year old! But my husband encouraged me to explain.

Here's my excuse, but not my reason: I homeschool. I see my kids all day and then jump right into piano lessons. Sometimes there is soccer practice or Calvary Kids, and there is always dinner to be made.  I think I deserve an evening where I can just sit back and relax with my gals. 

But here's my reason, and this is what I told my daughter: friendships are important. After God, my husband is my #1 priority, followed quickly by my children. But friendships are valuable too. When I get together with my gals, we laugh and giggle. Tonight there might have even been a few tears. We share, we bond, we relate as only women can do. And this develops friendships that that can be life saving at times. My gals will be there to pick me up, to encourage me, to understand, and to love me unconditionally. 

If you are blessed to have those relationships, nurture them. 

If not, seek them out. Good friends are life saving. 

KC

loaners

I have two kids, a daughter and a son. But they're not really mine. They don't belong to me. They are loaners. I suppose that all sounds a bit calloused until that is read in the light of truth.

My two beautiful children belong to their Heavenly Father. He picked them out specially for us and He gave them both to my husband and me as gifts. But with these two gifts came huge responsibility. 

When I view my children with the perspective that their little souls belong to God, I parent them with a completely different attitude. My ultimate goal is to raise these children as God wants me to, not according to what I feel like doing or not doing. I am held accountable not only to my husband and my two kids, but to God Himself.

That might sound a bit intimidating or overwhelming, but there is one great big perk to keeping this truth in mind. We are not doing the parenting alone. God is right there with us, helping us to hold our tongue and keep our voices from yelling. He's helping to guide our decisions in discipline and to help our kids make good choices. He reminds us to keep our selfish desires in check and He doles out extra measures of patience. 

Unfortunately, I am still human. Some evenings I look back at the entire day and think it was just a huge failure. But God's got enough grace to cover that and to help me get back at it again the next day. And even on my worst days, I think of how much harder if would be if God were not helping me and I am grateful. 

And I'm sure my kids are too!

KC

words

(This is going to be a shorty because after last night, I need gobs more sleep). 

As a kid, I was taught the hymns in church. That was our primary form of worship. Singing them over and over eventually wove them into my heart. 

As I got older, I realized that I really liked poetry. Certain poems would strike me personally and I would commit those words to memory.

In 8th grade, our Bible teacher had us memorize a series of individual verses from the Bible. We had to speak them into a recorder. These were key verses that emphasized the big picture of the Bible.

Now that I'm a little older, I realize that those words are tucked into my soul. When I sing one of the great hymns, the meaning has so much depth because those words have been with me so long. When I hear one of the poems I committed to memory, it strikes such a resounding chord. I memorized the words that meant the most to me. And the scriptures, oh the scriptures! Those key verses are applied daily in my life. They constantly come to mind as I deal with everyday life.

My point? Teach your kids words. Words that you want to stick with them the rest of their life. Repeat those words over and over so that they wear paths through your children's hearts and become familiar friends. Good words, valuable words, words with depth that will speak to them when needed. 

(Goodness, I felt like I was writing this to myself! Apparently I need the reminder too. Tomorrow's lesson: memorization!)

KC