I said something to my daughter today that I hope will stick with her for the rest of her life. Actually, I'll probably have to remind her about 3,474 more times while she lives in this house, but that's just how training works: tell a child to throw their cheese stick wrapper in the garbage and not on the floor 3,475 times and then they will remember to do it on their own... half the time. Progress is progress!
This evening, however, the conversation did not hover around cheese sticks wrappers, even though we still have about 1,450 more training sessions to go on that one. Tonight we discussed how everything that comes out of our mouths should first go through the filter of: "how would I feel if someone said this to me?"
You see, she had mentioned something to me earlier in our conversation that she had said in jest to a friend of hers and I immediately pointed out to her that she would be totally self-conscious if someone made that comment to her. She got silent and I could see her contemplate that for a moment. And she said, "Yeah, you're right mom." (I wrote that down in my Journal of Good Mom Memories because that phrase rarely happens.)
And that's when I told her about the filter.
And that's when I was reminded of the filter...
And that's when I thought I should maybe remind y'all of the filter.
The Filter: "Before these words come out of my mouth, are they words that I would want to hear?" And if they are not words that I would want to hear, but are words that still must be said, is there are way that they can be said with love?
I know, I talk about kind words on a pretty regular basis on the blog, but that's because kind words are important to me. Words, good or bad, can change lives. And I am a big cheerleader for the kind words, the thoughtful words, the words that build up and do not tear down.
My daughter is going to say things without going through the filter, I already know this. Mostly because I, myself, still do it once in a great while...
But I will continue to show her and teach her and train her to be more like Jesus who had perfect love and perfect tact in everything He said.