stupid self-appointed standards

I went to spend some time with a good friend tonight. We chatted from our hearts because that's what we tend to do. My mommy heart poured out my mommy sorrows and my eyes welled up with tears.

And she spoke truth, which she repeated to me a few times throughout the night.

"You are too hard on yourself."

And she is right.

People! The standards for parents are high these days. Meeting them is next to impossible! I don't need to rehash the birthday party ideas, the fancy desserts sent to school for birthdays, the long list of Pinterest ideas for gifts and diy and home improvement and so many other things that make me wanna PUKE because I CANNOT DO IT!! 

White flag of surrender. I'm waving it. Y'all win the Perfect Parent Awards because I was disqualified approximately 10 minutes after I gave birth to my first child. 

This parenting thing? I don't have it. Like, not even a small grasp on what I'm doing. And when I think I do for just a second...BOOM!!! Something happens to remind me that I don't. 

And that's when I have to remind myself that it's okay because God's had it all along. He's the perfect parent, after all. What a fool I am to try and compete! He's got pockets full (maybe even buckets full) of extra grace just for me.

"Oh my...Kathy just tried to use the 'guilt trip' on her kids. Better sprinkle a little extra grace on her today."

"Oh no! She's making threats she cannot follow through with: no electronics for 2 weeks?! Ha! She's crazy! Let's send a huge dash of grace her way!"

"I hear her voice rising. There is no calm left inside her. Pretty sure she's gonna blow! Just let the grace rain down on her for a while..."

"Homeschooling?!?! Just flood that house with grace!"

I'm not that great of a parent, but my heart is where it's supposed to be: striving. And I think that if I'm striving, then I'm getting extra grace from God to fill in the cracks where I fail as a parent.

And when my kids grow up and think about what I did as their mom, I hope that's what they remember: the striving and that the rest of the cracks are filled with God's grace.

KC

mondays are RAD (sarcastic font)

My son is 8 and has already decided that Mondays are the worst day of the week. If he gets hurt or
something frustrating happens, he always asks, "Is it Monday? Because this is the worst day ever!"

I've admitted in the past that Mondays have not always been very nice to me. As a matter of fact, they have been downright mean to me! I oughta just stay in bed all day! But I'm in my 30's and have had the time to get jaded about Mondays. My son is 8! He can't be grumpy about Mondays yet!

So tomorrow morning, we will start our day and I will hide my ire and angst towards Monday and I will try to convince my son that, despite what Garfield says, Mondays can be delightful! 

I guess I need this reminder as much as he does: 

Ok, all you grown ups with jobs and children and exhausting lives: we've got this! Let's grab Monday by the horns and tell it who's boss! We're gonna kick Monday's tail with our amazing good attitudes and miles of smiles! We will hop out of bed with determination to make Monday a good day. No, an EXCELLENT day!! Let's do this, people! We've got God's new mercies as our super power!! DO IT!!

Okay, now I just have to remember to read this pep talk tomorrow when I wake up...

KC

bucking the stigma

This is the first time I think I've written about this subject, but it probably won't be the last.

My husband doesn't fit the stereotypical role of dad/husband in the family like so many people think men do. 

He isn't my 3rd child. The things I do for him are because I want to care for him, not because he demands it or acts like he can't do stuff for himself. And that goes both ways in our family. He does things for me because he cares about my sanity. (He helps with laundry, washing the dishes, and making food, and almost all the grocery shopping, to name a few. Swoon, ladies, swoon!)

He isn't a wuss when he gets sick. I don't need to coddle him like a child. He handles his own illnesses, aches, and pains; although I offer to take care of him, again, because I care about him.

My husband doesn't "babysit" our children. If I go away for an evening, he plays the role of dad, which he had been doing the entire time I was there to begin with! It doesn't change because I left. He's still Dad, just like he was when I was home! He handles them kiddos like he's their involved father, BECAUSE HE IS!!

My husband uses a map.

He reads instructions.

He is involved in his children's education, asking about their strengths and weaknesses and seeking out solutions for their weaknesses.

He is the primary emergency care giver.

And he is so much more.

And if my kids ever make it to the Olympics, they will thank their Mom AND Dad.

I will stand up for my man because he works HARD to be a good husband and dad and all those stigmas do men like him a disservice. 

That's all...for now.

KC

the devil's plans

All I'm saying, people, is after yesterday's post, there was a serious LACK OF FRUIT today from one particular child of mine!! I almost quit my "Mom job" before we even started school this morning. Just ask my husband: he got the texts and phone calls today as I was near tears and wanted to scream unkind things at the top of my lungs.

There was a serious exercise in self-control on my part today: super proud of me.

But I am telling you: there was a BATTLE going on in our home today. Snide words, selfishness, disrespect, ungratefulness, battle axes, bow and arrows: it was ALL there.

And I did not come out unscathed. Wounds and healing and scars and AUGH!

And then it hit me this afternoon. I am not waging a war with my child. I am waging a war with the stinking devil himself.

I am listening to God and striving to follow His call on my life as a mom. And that devil guy knows it and he is fighting me tooth and nail. 

And that is how I know that we are going in the right direction: the devil wages a war. 

And somehow, knowing that, I can now face tomorrow's battles with confidence. My great big God is on my side and we will fight for the souls of my children. Because those souls are precious.

Tomorrow morning, I will roll out of bed and roar!!! Because I am ready for battle.

KC 

fruity kids

I sure do love my kids.

I might have spoken to them both in a "slightly louder than normal" voice today on multiple occasions because they were "challenging." Their attitudes might have pushed me to my limits (meaning that my lid was flipped). And I might have kept myself from shoving an entire bar of soap down my daughter's throat today (self-control, right?!) and found myself wanting to leave my son in his room all afternoon...

But I sure do love those cute little stinkers.

Why?

Because my daughter made me pancakes today.

My son hugged me tight and apologized for hurting my feelings today.

My daughter didn't complain about math, her dreaded subject, once today.

My son came downstairs and apologized for being a booger this afternoon.

My daughter did PE in the pool without me bugging her to do so.

My son apologized for hurting me while he was messing around.

(Seriously, he had a tough go of it today!)

My kids are far from perfect and drive me up and wall (and sometimes across the ceiling and down the other wall), but I see fruit every day. 

They are growing and changing and showing signs of being good kids who will (hopefully, God-willing) grow into good adults! 

And all my effort (and when I say "my," I mean my husband's too, but he doesn't write the blog so I'm gonna take all the credit here) and all my stress and all of my hard work (okay, I'm starting to feel bad about using "my"...) is working!!! 

Jesus,

I am trying to stay the course as a mom, so thank you for the glimpses and sometimes full view of the fruit you are producing from the little seeds I so carefully sow. If You will continue to grow the fruit, I will keep on keeping on with the seed-planting! 

AMEN!!

PS - I'm gonna need a little help tomorrow, though. Because: Day 2 of homeschooling...😳

KC

waking up is hard

I'm not a fan of mornings. And mornings don't like me very much either.  My bed really likes me. You can see my problem here? I don't want to get up in the morning. 

Tomorrow I start my second job: homeschooling (first job being Head Lady on Campus). Tomorrow things get real again. I set standards for my kids in the morning so I've got to reach those standards myself. If I don't, everything starts to crumble and chaos begins and it's just so tough to reign in the monkeys once they are let loose!! 

In other words: I have to get out of bed. 

No matter how I feel about the upcoming day. No matter what kind of mood I wake up in. No matter how late I went to bed the night before. No matter how crazy the kids already sound before my feet hit the floor. I have to get up.

So I give myself a pep talk before I even get out of bed. 

1. I have lots of good reasons to get out of bed: kids, breakfast (I like breakfast best of all meals), Starbucks (I won't deny that I use Sbux as a reward most mornings for making it halfway through the morning), a home that runs because I'm in it, my cat waiting outside my door for some lovin'. Whatever it is, I find a reason to get up!

 

2. I have a purpose for getting up. I don't always know what it is, but I know that I have a purpose. It might be something as simple as getting laundry done, or meeting with a friend who needs encouragement (which usually leaves me feeling encouraged), or teaching my children. It doesn't matter what it is, I just have to believe that I have a purpose in the world and if I stay in bed, I'll never achieve that purpose.

3. And if I don't believe in myself and my purpose in life, I can always fall back on the knowledge that lives within my heart and soul: God has a purpose for me to get up out of bed and live today. I don't have to know that purpose, I just have to trust in the God who created me, that He made me for a purpose and I will get up and live because of that.

So recap on the morning pep talk (because school starts early tomorrow!)

1. Lots of good reasons to get up.

2. I have a purpose today.

3. God's got am even better purpose for me today.

We've got this, people! Gooooo team! 

KC 

(I'm curious: when do you wake up?)

grace for idiots

It's easy to be kind and gracious to nice people, to sweet and thoughtful people. It's easy to show grace to those who show us the same.

But what about the idiots? The jerks? The rude snobby people? What about the lady in the neighborhood who never smiles, waves, or acknowledges you? What about the guy behind you on the freeway who keeps tailgating you or who cuts you off? What about the clique of woman who refuse to invite you into their group to do anything? And the co-worker who always puts you down? And the coach who seems to think its okay to yell at your 6 year old who is just learning to play soccer? And the teacher who has absolutely no "nice" bone in her body? Or the "friend" who makes fun of you behind your back? (This list is endless, people!)

Do the behaviors of these jerks give you permission to be a jerk back? Should you treat them exactly as they treat you? YES!!! .....wait, that was ME speaking right there, my human side broke through pretty strong for a second. 😝

It might take a huge amount of self-control or patience or tact, but this scripture is pretty direct in its response: 

Now, I don't read that as "be a doormat and let everyone walk all over you," or "let people take advantage of you." But I do read it as "learn how to appropriately respond to idiots in such a way that you might be an example of who Jesus is to those idiots." 

Now I don't know about y'all, but I already do this perfectly. I love my enemies so hard! (And I'm not sarcastic ever, in the least bit.😜) But the rest of you guys need to work on the business of loving idiots!

Because idiots need grace too. 

KC