Wednesday, December 11, 2013

me and him

So there's this guy I know. I've known him for over 15 years.  We're best friends.  Sometimes we argue because we are two different people.  Sometimes he's immature and can be annoying on purpose.  He likes me though because he tells me so.  He tells me that he likes to hang out with me.  Sometimes I make him laugh and other times he just rolls his eyes at me.  

We've had a couple of kids together (which is okay because I'm married to him) and they are very important to us.  We spend a lot of our time, effort, and money on them.  They are gifts from God and we want to do right by raising His children. 

BUT...there is a priority list in our family: God, spouse, children.  Our goal as individuals is to put God above everything else in our lives.  Then as husband and wife we make it a goal to build and develop our relationship together (which, just so you know, will continue to happen for the rest of our marriage - always building, always growing, always a work in progress).  And then, with a strong family foundation, we invest in our children.

Now I know we only have our children at home for a short while, but that is part of my point here.  I'm going to be married to this guy for another 60 years or so.  If I neglect our relationship for the next 20 years while I focus all my time and effort into the children, where does that leave us when they move out? Plus, don't our children deserve to have a healthy marriage relationship as an example in their formative years so that they might have an idea of what marriage should be when they start looking for a spouse?  I want them to have high goals and expectation for marriage - I believe that's what God intended!

Now I'm not saying that children should be neglected because you want to spend all your time with your spouse.  But maybe they will value you both more because they see the value you give each other. 

So here's just a glimpse into my relationship with that guy of mine.  We find TV shows to watch together.  We go out for French fries and dessert while Grandma watches the kids for an hour. We try to appreciate each other's differences and show interest in each other's hobbies.  We laugh at each other and bug each other.  We make goals together and go places where we can create memories.  We laugh as we look at the humor category on Pinterest. We both have tried to make improvements in ourselves to make the other person enjoy us better (you know, getting rid of annoying habits or starting good ones).  We try new things together and find things that we both liked to do.  We have conversations, and not just about the kids. 

The fact of the matter is that we both keep in mind that we are going to be together for a while yet. So even when this parenting thing seems to consume us, we try to take time for us.  We, as a unit, are an important feature in our family.  

Plus we actually like each other and that helps a lot!

KC

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