simple joy

Today was a busy day.  I crammed a whole bunch of stuff into my day, which isn't unusual, but keeps me constantly on the go. I had about 10 minutes to eat my lunch before my piano students would arrive.  They start at 2:15 so that tells you how late my lunch was.  After a healthy lunch (well, okay, it wasn't fully healthy, but the cheese and chicken on my nachos have to count for some good!),  I was scooping a spoonful of homemade chocolate almond butter (seriously amazing butter that my friend Chrissy makes) out of a jar to savor, followed by about 3 or 4 more scoops when a thought hit me: 

In the busy-ness of my life, I need to make sure that I am taking time to enjoy the simple pleasures that each day offers, otherwise I will miss so much!  So I started paying attention and appreciating...

Listening to my husband laugh as he reads and shares something funny from the web.

Adding chocolate chips to my pumpkin muffins (because apparently I don't think muffins should be healthy).

The smell of the new hand soap by the kitchen sink.  It's not fancy or expensive because I only get fancy and expensive soaps as gifts from other people.  But it smelled great nonetheless.

A brownie with a Reese's PB cup sunk into the middle of it, brought over by a friend who was thoughtful enough to think I might like it (thank you, Julie - so delicious!!)

Listening to my piano students as they learn their Christmas recital pieces - they are so excited!

The random hugs my son gives me as he walks by.  This happens all the time. He just likes to hug.  I'm a lucky mom.

Sharing inside jokes with a friend. 

Reaching a PR in my Deadlift (I know, I know - not everybody likes CrossFit but it was an awesome moment for me!)

Super sweet strawberries even in the middle of November!

The sprinkle of freckles across my sleeping daughter's face - beautiful.

So maybe tomorrow morning I should start looking right away for the simple things that just make my day or make me smile, because sometimes those little pleasures are the brightest moments in my day.

KC 

headshots

A little something extra today because I just got a CD with a bunch of potential head shot pictures, hence the new profile picture for my blog (which my brother thinks is a funny word: "blog - something you might try to spit up," he says.  Gross.  He's a boy.  They don't grow up.)

Anyway, I'm so very excited and have to share just a few of the pictures because my friend, Sheroba is incredible.  She captured a bunch of the real me:

 And my personal favorite:

Okay.  I had some fun.  I always do when a camera is pointed at me!  

Why be just smiley the whole time?  That's not me.

But I did take some time to be more serious and these are a couple of my favorites:

 Did I ever mention that I wanted to be a model in my naive years?  

That's a story for another blog post.

Today we had the chance to take family photos with Sheroba.  I cannot wait to see how they turned out!  I will share them as soon as I can!!

Please go see her work by clicking on her name - it should be linked up to her facebook page. 

Beautiful, just beautiful...

not one of us is perfect, not one

I can't remember a time when I was perfect. Not even a day. And by perfect I mean attaining all that I wanted to be physically.  

In Jr. High I was trying to grow out my bangs. Y'all remember what that looks like, don't ya? There was no creativity on my part to hide the in-between stages. And I was trying to figure out how to have straight hair when my hair was naturally wavy.  The learning curve there was pretty steep.  Mind you, I had no older sisters to look to for guidance.  Try figuring that out on your own!

In high school the one thing that sticks out the most to me was my knees, my ugly knobby knees. I was a stick with knobby knees.  Yep, the only curve I had to my body was my knees. (That's pretty funny...well it is now, wasn't then!)

College: a time to blossom!   Nope.  Still a skinny stick.  But I did meet a guy who saw my potential to grow into a woman.  So I guess that was a bonus!

Wedding day: felt perfect. Except for the zit that began to pop out on my forehead.  (Seriously?)  Fortunately a friend and bridesmaid was an incredible make up artist and covered all blemishes making me feel beautiful! 

Pregnancy. Who am I kidding?! Said good-bye to whatever figure I had, not knowing it would be good-bye forever!!  (On the plus side I ended up with 2 kids so I guess that's good.)  

And then 30.  My body decided that it didn't want to cooperate with me anymore.  Eat right? Exercise?  Sheesh, such hard work and discipline!  And I know it's going to get a little harder each year from here on out.  And I've still got 60+ years to live! 

So, guess what.  This body of mine is not perfect. Never has been, never will be. 

And when I look around I know that there is not one person in this world who has been created perfectly.  Sure, physically some women look perfect, but I promise that they are not perfect because who they are runs so much deeper than how they look. 

So don't be fooled. Don't let that envy settle in too deep.  The people around us are so much more than just how they look.  Sometimes all they have to do is open their mouth to speak and you'll hear the imperfections tumbling out.  Sometimes you just have to watch for a bit to see what their actions say about them.  Sometimes you never see the imperfections because they are hidden and are secret or happen behind closed doors. 

Biggest thing I'm taking from today's post (yes, I learn stuff from my own writings because they are pretty much my own day-to-day struggles that God is working on with me) is that there is no one who is perfect, not one, even if they seem to be: they're not.

KC

who i was, am, and am going to be

Sometimes I look around my house and reflect on my life here and think: "I have so far to go, so many things to do in order to get this wife/mom thing right." 

There's the ping pong table (you can discover my problem with the ping pong table somewhere in this post).  There's the housekeeping routine that most weeks is pretty much non-existent.  The idea of creating healthy meals rolls around in this head frequently.  The organizational skills are lacking when it comes to paperwork and all things crafty (which is why my crafty stuff has all been relocated to a room that is far from where company can discover it).  Teaching my kids to be responsible would require me to be more self-disciplined.  I wish I remembered everyone's birthday on their birthday.  I wish I sent more cards in the mail. 

And that list of who I wish I was and what I wished I could accomplish could go on for figuratively (because I really don't think the word "literally" works here) miles and miles!

But then I have to step back and look back.

Who I was 10 years ago, even 5 or 2 years ago is completely different than who I am today.  I have made great strides by setting goals in my life and taking steps to get there.  I'd like to say that I am awesome and did it all by myself, but I'm not and I didn't.  I have a very supportive husband and family but I also have an awesome God who has given me what I've needed when I've needed it.

I used to think it was a great "meal" when I got the macaroni and cheese served (still warm!) with a side of crescent rolls (still warm!).  Now I am even impressed sometimes at the meals I can create (did you catch the "sometimes"?  It's not a frequent event at our house for me to create impressive meals).

I thought I was a great multi-tasker because I could 2 things at once.  HA!  Throw some kids in the mix and I'll show you multi-tasking at its finest (can I get an AMEN?!!)  Sometimes I lose track of how many things I am multi-tasking because I am doing so many things at once.  Starting upstairs carrying the cleaner downstairs, coming across a stray jacket, and noticing the random quarter on the counter, and going over to start the dishwasher, dropping off the cleaner in the laundry room where I will switch the laundry and bring that random jacket back upstairs to its owner's room... and how did this quarter get in my pocket again?!

Money?  Tell me to deposit $100 and I'll end up withdrawing $100 getting us a nice little fee on top of it! Financial organization was not my strength (and it's still not, but I've got an amazing guy helping me, well pretty much just telling me how to keep us organized.  Phew!  This whole marriage thing worked out pretty well for me!) 

I was proud when I could get myself out the door and to work on time.  However, just this morning I managed to feed 2 children, get their lunches packed, make sure everyone was dressed, try to ignore the moanings of my daughter and her sore neck from sleeping all cock-eyed, running to get her a dose of pain reliever and sew a hole closed in my son's backpack.  AND I managed to put together an outfit that showcased the scarf I really wanted to wear. 

And exercise?  I didn't need to exercise!  I was skinny (skinny, mind you, not healthy).  Now I can't imagine not getting some form of exercise in at least 3 times a week!  (That's a combination of figuring out what happens to your body after you have kids, after you hit your mid-30's and finally discovering that exercise can be enjoyable and give great results!)  Plus, when I exercise I don't get sick near as often.  Honestly, I haven't been sick once since starting CrossFit (now that's not a guarantee and I'm sure I'll get sick next week, but I don't have time to get sick so being sick less often is HUGE for me!)

So when I look back at who I used to be and how far I have come, I can be more content with where I am now.  If I have grown so much over the past 10 years, then I can be confident that I'm going to grow some more during the next 10 years. Even if it is setting small goals and taking small steps to get there. Because I know that even taking baby steps forward is still moving forward. 

KC

the value of time

Time.  Even in little increments, time is a valuable commodity. So I'm trying to be careful about where I spend it.

Last night I finished reading abook to my 5 yr old son while on his bed.  When I was done, he threw an arm around me, as if I were a giant teddy bear.  He didn't want me to leave yet. (Usually we leave the room to let our kids fall asleep on their own.). He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, grinning once in a while.  But I knew he was tired and would be asleep too so I stayed where I was. Two minutes later he was asleep and I was content.  I watched him rest for a bit then slowly lifted his arm to get off of his bed.

Just a few minutes but so valuable.

I try to go out for coffee with my Mom a couple times a month.  I love her - she's a wonderful mom.  Sometimes we can sit and chat for a couple hours, sometimes for forty minutes.  But the topics we cover in that amount of time are important, world changing topics!  Well maybe not world changing, but it is always important conversation.

Just an hour or two but so valuable.

Every once in a while I will have a seemingly unimportant text conversation with one of my nephews.  Random movies quotes, funny inside jokes, a typical quirky Aunt Kathy conversation.  But we are doing so much more than textng about nothing .  We are connecting.

Just a short conversation but so valuable.

And I could come up with a thousand other examples go the value of time but since I can't keep my eyelids open, I will stop at 3 and close with this:

I might be one busy wife and mom, but I am striving to make each moment count .  Because each moment is valuable and I don't want to waste any of it.  

KC

bigger than fear

And I am home! And the laundry is (almost) finished! And I'm (almost) ready to get started on another week. 

Except that this week I've got a dentist appointment and I have to make some phone calls asking people to help with something for school. Both of these things are on my "Least Favorite Things To Do" list. (Not that I have a list entitled such, but if I did these two things would be on that list, no doubt!)  

I have always loved my dentist, but never enjoyed my appointments.  And I was never a phone conversationalist... (yep - that's a word, it didn't get auto-corrected) and was very happy to have conversations through email and very happy to be able to text! Plus asking people to do something...what if they say no?! I can't handle people saying no!

So the trend here is fear. I'll admit to it. Fear ruled my life as I grew up, from childhood to adolescence into my adult years. I missed out on a lot because of fear. I developed an anxiety disorder because of my fear.  But, fear did not ruin my life. God did not let that happen.

God gave me very supportive parents who might not have always understood, but were always willing to stand by my side.  God put my amazing and supportive husband in my life who took me as I was even after I confessed my fears and anxieties. He has held my hand through it all, taking what he could from me, but also encouraging me when I had to face things by myself because he knew it'd make me stronger.

I can't tell you the moment that I stopped letting the fear rule my life. Maybe it was having children and not being able to be so afraid. I have to be strong for them. I'm their Mom.  Maybe it was watching my Pa get sick and pass away because I had to rely on God for strength. Maybe it was while my husband worked nights and I was alone all night with two kids but knew that I was never really on my own.  Maybe it is going head to head with a strong-willed child and realizing that I have to win because I am the Mom.

Maybe it was realizing so many years back that the cause if my anxiety disorder was the devil playing with my mind, heart, and emotions.

Honestly, every one of those things have made me stronger and less fearful. Facing each fear head on usually produces the "well that wasn't so bad" feeling.  

So tomorrow I head to the dentist for a check up, probably to find out that I need to have another root canal or just a filling, both of which are not terribly enjoyable.  But those are things to worry about for another day. Tomorrow I will enjoy the conversation with my higeinist (hmmm, that's not underlined - must be spelled correct) and appreciate the hour that I get to sit and not run around. 

Then I will start on the phone calls, making connections with my son's classmates' parents. And that will end up being a wonderful thing, I'm sure.  Because it is great to know the parents of the kids your child spends time with!

So instead of being bummed out, I will look for the positive (practicing what I try to teach my kids) and try to find the good in it all.

While these particular two things are little, there are many huge fears that people face or hide from every day.  One thing I finally had to realize is that God is bigger.  He is bigger than whatever I fear in this life.  When I look back at how He's helped me conquer fears, I can look forward in hope that He will be there with me to conquer future fears.  

Because He is bigger.

KC

"seemingly perfect"

So yesterday I wrote about the "seemingly perfect" women out there.  The ones who have their hair done beautifully every day.  The ones whose homes are clean and decorated fabulously.  Those moms who have their kids involved in a bunch of different activities and are never late to one!  I'm gonna be honest with you right now: those women really do exist, but do note the "seemingly" part - I've been told that no one is perfect.  Although I think I know a couple of women who might be...

I know a gal whose house IS always clean, even if you come by unannounced!  But you know what?  She likes to clean, yes, enjoys it. 

I have another friend who always brings the best appetizers and desserts to our parties and events. She's a Pampered Chef consultant so she practices being awesome at cooking and baking and makes it look effortless. 

And then there's the mom who throws the most memorable play dates.  Everything is thought out to the smallest detail. She takes that Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar book and has about 25 different related activities for the kids to do. It is her gift, she's good at it and she loves it. 

The mom who's got her kids involved in a bunch of different activities?  She's organized.  And she cares about what her kids enjoy and makes it her passion.  And she's organized.

I've got a group of mom friends who go jogging very early in the morning and train for half marathons and full marathons.  Seriously.  And they look fantastic.  But that is their passion.  They love it! 

And then the woman who has such great understanding of the Word, who can recite the right scripture at just the right time.  But you know what?  There have been a great many experiences in her life that have led her to the Bible over and over again.  And it is a part of her everyday life.  She immerses herself in it because it blesses her.

There are a lot of women who do amazing things.  I decided that I can either be jealous of their "perfections" and let it be a separation in our friendships or I can look up to them for inspiration.  Who you choose to surround yourself with makes a big impact on your life. 

I love the women in my life.  They are motivational.  They are encouraging.  They make me want to stop making excuses and be a better me (not a better imitation of them, a better me).

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one (wo)man sharpens another.

KC