Thursday, November 14, 2013

who i was, am, and am going to be

Sometimes I look around my house and reflect on my life here and think: "I have so far to go, so many things to do in order to get this wife/mom thing right." 

There's the ping pong table (you can discover my problem with the ping pong table somewhere in this post).  There's the housekeeping routine that most weeks is pretty much non-existent.  The idea of creating healthy meals rolls around in this head frequently.  The organizational skills are lacking when it comes to paperwork and all things crafty (which is why my crafty stuff has all been relocated to a room that is far from where company can discover it).  Teaching my kids to be responsible would require me to be more self-disciplined.  I wish I remembered everyone's birthday on their birthday.  I wish I sent more cards in the mail. 

And that list of who I wish I was and what I wished I could accomplish could go on for figuratively (because I really don't think the word "literally" works here) miles and miles!

But then I have to step back and look back.

Who I was 10 years ago, even 5 or 2 years ago is completely different than who I am today.  I have made great strides by setting goals in my life and taking steps to get there.  I'd like to say that I am awesome and did it all by myself, but I'm not and I didn't.  I have a very supportive husband and family but I also have an awesome God who has given me what I've needed when I've needed it.

I used to think it was a great "meal" when I got the macaroni and cheese served (still warm!) with a side of crescent rolls (still warm!).  Now I am even impressed sometimes at the meals I can create (did you catch the "sometimes"?  It's not a frequent event at our house for me to create impressive meals).

I thought I was a great multi-tasker because I could 2 things at once.  HA!  Throw some kids in the mix and I'll show you multi-tasking at its finest (can I get an AMEN?!!)  Sometimes I lose track of how many things I am multi-tasking because I am doing so many things at once.  Starting upstairs carrying the cleaner downstairs, coming across a stray jacket, and noticing the random quarter on the counter, and going over to start the dishwasher, dropping off the cleaner in the laundry room where I will switch the laundry and bring that random jacket back upstairs to its owner's room... and how did this quarter get in my pocket again?!

Money?  Tell me to deposit $100 and I'll end up withdrawing $100 getting us a nice little fee on top of it! Financial organization was not my strength (and it's still not, but I've got an amazing guy helping me, well pretty much just telling me how to keep us organized.  Phew!  This whole marriage thing worked out pretty well for me!) 

I was proud when I could get myself out the door and to work on time.  However, just this morning I managed to feed 2 children, get their lunches packed, make sure everyone was dressed, try to ignore the moanings of my daughter and her sore neck from sleeping all cock-eyed, running to get her a dose of pain reliever and sew a hole closed in my son's backpack.  AND I managed to put together an outfit that showcased the scarf I really wanted to wear. 

And exercise?  I didn't need to exercise!  I was skinny (skinny, mind you, not healthy).  Now I can't imagine not getting some form of exercise in at least 3 times a week!  (That's a combination of figuring out what happens to your body after you have kids, after you hit your mid-30's and finally discovering that exercise can be enjoyable and give great results!)  Plus, when I exercise I don't get sick near as often.  Honestly, I haven't been sick once since starting CrossFit (now that's not a guarantee and I'm sure I'll get sick next week, but I don't have time to get sick so being sick less often is HUGE for me!)

So when I look back at who I used to be and how far I have come, I can be more content with where I am now.  If I have grown so much over the past 10 years, then I can be confident that I'm going to grow some more during the next 10 years. Even if it is setting small goals and taking small steps to get there. Because I know that even taking baby steps forward is still moving forward. 


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