Fast forward life to being married to a wonderfully understanding man who stood by me at my weakest and encouraged me to be my strongest. My desire to be a mom came back. I was still nervous because my anxiety could be debilitating at times.
Fast forward life to 2 kids later and I am the strongest and most confident I have ever been in my life! Those kids truly knocked the fear out of me. The idea of dealing with vomiting children scared the living daylights out of me. I am now a 4 time children's stomach flu survivor. Driving in the middle lane, let alone the fast lane on the freeway was unheard of. Now, when we've got to get to the doctor, we hit the fast lane, baby (at appropriate speeds, mind you...) Going to strange places where I didn't know the "escape route" just didn't really happen. Now the birthday parties at friend's houses and the field trips and the doctor's offices are a piece of cake!
Having kids awakened a "mommy survival" mode within me. There are times when it doesn't matter what my fears are, I will overcome them when it comes to my children. Although the fear of the stomach bug still haunts me, I will take on that mess because I have to. It's what this mommy does.
I am grateful for the healing that God has brought to me both through my supportive husband as well as through those two kiddos of mine. They have made me (nearly) fearless! I still don't like heights and I am still extremely claustrophobic. But if I had to, I'd jump from a tall building or enclose myself in a small space for my children. But only if I had to...
KC
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