When I started this blog, I thought I had a whole bunch of ideas about what I was going to write about. Funny how things change (goes along with my last post - my plans are not always His plans). It turns out that God's got a bigger agenda and He revealed again to me just this evening. Brought me to tears, it did.
Here's the back story: My daughter and I have had a tumultuous relationship since she was one. She's now 6.5. Her strong will and my lack of knowledge in training a strong willed child have not always turned out for the best. But we've both learned a lot and have come a long way. And as mentioned in another post of mine, our love for each other is never in doubt. The past two days have taken us back to the worst of times between us: whining, moaning, head shaking and rolling eyes (those last two were me, I'm ashamed to admit), disobedience, disrespect, whining, hurting her little brother, pushing my buttons, whining, and running away from discipline (literally, running around the house from me when discipline is in order, and while this might seem funny to imagine, it's not humorous when you are the adult chasing your child up and down stairs, around rooms, over furniture, all the while avoiding toys on the floor.)
So what was really irksome was that I felt like I had done so much to try and make these two days enjoyable. Yesterday was full of fun activities at home and today we started the morning out with donuts from an awesome Daddy who bought them before we were even out of bed! We went garage saling, a highlight for my kids. My daughter got a whole array of her favorite things: shoes, clothing, dolls, and other little knick knacks. And their oldest cousin came over for hours; another highlight. We made a mess with all the empty Easter eggs we had and danced around together in the mess. And there were a couple other things that I did especially with my daughter in mind ... and she RUINED it all with her attitude.
Okay, so here comes the point:
As I'm explaining how much it hurt me that she would disrespect me during a day when I had done so much to make it fun for her, it hit me: How much do I ignore and disrespect Jesus after all He has sacrificed for me. Here we are in the midst of Easter weekend: He gave up his LIFE for me and how much time do I give Him? How much appreciation do I show Him? How often do I find something to complain about? It was as if the 2 days of whining and complaining were to teach ME a lesson, not my daughter. (Funny how He does that. Someone once told me that God gives us our children to grow us, not just to grow them.)
And here's where it hit home even harder: For devotions this evening, after all the drama, I read my daughter the story we were up to in her Children's Bible: the story of Abraham and His sacrifice of Isaac. I'd always struggled with this story as a child. Why would God ask Abraham to do such a thing? But I was taught that it was a foreshadowing of what was to come - another Father sacrificing His only Son. When you read the story of Abraham, your heart is wrenched to know that this man is going to lose his only son. You can picture him trodding up the mountain, feeling sick to his stomach, thinking about a future without his son... Can you imagine how God felt? He went through with it! He actually did allow His only son to be sacrificed...for you, and for me.
When I finished the story, I turned to my daughter to explain what it meant to have to sacrifice in order to be saved from our sin. I could tell this story of Abraham and Isaac kind of confused her too. But as I explained how God would come do the same thing with His Son and what His sacrifice meant for us, it was a bit less confusing. (We've had the salvation talk numerous times, so this is not new to her. She's pretty bright and grasped it at a young age.) This evening we talked in detail about what it meant for Jesus to die on the cross. We talked about how much it would hurt and how He did it all because He loved each of us SO much.
After we prayed, I started to walk out of her room and she said, "But you wouldn't do that for me." She wasn't questioning my love; it was an innocent, matter-of-fact statement from a child. I walked back to where I could look her in the eye and I said, "Yes, I would, honey. I would die on a cross for you." Her eyes got real big and I went on to explain it in today's terms for her: "Honey, if a car was going to hit you, I would push you out of the way and let the car hit me to save you, because I love you that much. I would die so that you could live."
He died so that I could live.
KC
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