crumbling

This evening, my daughter revealed something to me once again.  Here's the story: she had gotten out of bed while I was on the phone.  She sat on the stairs during my short conversation even though I told her to go to bed two times during the conversation (fortunately, this conversation was with my sister-in-law who, with the help of her hubby, has raised a strong-willed daughter herself... and did a might fine job of it!  But still, she was probably snickering as she listened to me scold my girl).  (The two of them do that often: giggle at me and my husband.  It's the "been there, done that, so glad we're through that," giggle).  Getting back to the point at hand, I finished the conversation and told her that she needed to get back into bed or she would lose a privilege.  I turned back to what I was doing and heard her slide down the stairs that she was supposed to be walking back up to get to her bedroom.

I turned back to her and defined rebellion for her:  When you do something on purpose that you know you are not supposed to do.  When you choose wrong instead of right, intentionally.  I told her that when she does that she is not showing her love to God.  I reminded her that she often tells me how much she loves God and Jesus and that it's difficult to believe those words when she purposely disobeys.  The look on her face told me that perhaps I had laid it on a little too thick.  Yikes.  Immediately, her face crumbled.  The tears sprang to her eyes and she was devastated.  And the first words out of her mouth were, " I don't want to go to the bad place!"  (We've had many "come to Jesus" conversations, she and I, including what hell is possibly going to be like, in as gentle of terms as possible for a child's sake.) 

Oh my!  It was worse than I thought! I had not only guilt-tripped her, but had scared her into thinking she was going to hell simply because she didn't get back into her bed when I asked her to!  What kind of Mom am I? 

Today's Gift of Survival: Forgiveness.  I took my little girl by the hand and told her that we could make it right.  I told her that she should do the right thing by going back up to bed and then we would have a conversation with Jesus about forgiveness.  She slowly went back up the stairs and I opened in prayer with her, making her ask for forgiveness herself.  She was in tears again and simply said, "please forgive me?"  This opened the door for further conversation about forgiveness and truly being sorry for our actions.  And, of course, it got me thinking about how I should be applying this situation to my own life.  I'm always being taught through my daughter... (*sigh*)

I will admit that although I have been saved by an amazing Savior, sometimes I still intentionally make choices that He would deem as "rebellious."  Maybe you don't, but I do.  Sometimes I go with the "because I want to" attitude.  It's not right, I know. 

But how often do I crumble and fall at God's feet when I come face to face with my sinful choices?  Not often enough.  I'm not saying that I should be on my knees, begging for forgiveness all day long (even though I probably need to be).  But the fact is this: God sent His son (if you've got a son, or a child, for that matter, you can imagine the agony of the Father) to die.  For me.  Because I make stupid choices.  All the time.  And in order for me to have any chance of getting into heaven, those stupid choices (aka: sin) have to be atoned for.  So His son took ALL my sin, the weight of the whole world upon his shoulders so that I could be cleaned up all shiny and get into heaven.

And what do I do with that?  I take it for granted. 

Every once in a while, the weight hits me and I crumble.  I don't take those "crumblings" lightly.  I take those moments and tuck them into my heart that I might have them with me to remind me: Live a life of gratitude to God.  He sent His son.  Giving Him back my entire life is the least I can do for Him.






Oh my - that was heavy, wasn't it?  So I'll end with one of my favorite corny jokes (and just so you know, I've got about 100 favorite corny jokes.)

What do you call a cow that has just given birth?






decalfinated

KC