I think I'm a pretty good mom. I feed my kiddos somewhat healthy foods. I help with homework. I get the laundry done, eventually. I volunteer in the classroom. I clean...infrequently (auto-correct says that's a word. I'm going with it). Okay, I straighten up every day but cleaning is always setting on the back burner. I exercise. I teach piano. I run a little business with my sister-in-law which often makes me feel successful in my little world. I like my hair color. I have a pretty good selection of shoes. I've got an awesome husband. We go to a great church and our kids attend a great school.
But.
(You had to have known the "but" was coming.)
But, there is always someone out there doing all these things plus 10 more things a whole lot better than I do. I know moms who have never let their children eat at McDonalds. Yeah... my kids are pretty familiar with chicken McNuggets. I have a friend who irons all her husband's shirts. Mine is lucky if the shirts can get from the dryer to the closet without any major wrinkles. I have been in houses where there is not a speck, not a speck of dust to be found! (I'm not even sure how that is possible when at my house, after I dust, approximately 20 minutes later the room is dusty again!). When you come into my house, I beg you not to look at my floors. Or the windows. Or the bathroom counters. Better yet, just keep your eyes closed when you come into my house!
I exercise very consistently but still compare my body to those around me. I see my flaws - they are obvious to me. I know piano teachers whose knowledge and abilities far surpass this gal. I see other people make wonderful crafty things and who are selling the pants off of me (not by any means literally, and there's no need to try and imagine that figuratively... where did that phrase even come from?!) and there always seems to be something lacking from my wardrobe or someone (just about everyone) is wearing clothing that is so much more expensive than mine (for my dear sj: long live Ross, TJMaxx, thrift stores, and garage sales!).
As for my husband, well, he's just awesome. No comparison there.
So. If you ever start to think that I've got everything figured out or that my house is all in order (ha!) or that I am happy all the time (my family will dispel that myth pretty quickly), quit comparing!!! You now know the truth. That mom that you compare yourself to, she's got her flaws - I'm certain she just bribes her perfect kids with candy all the time. That lady with the perfect body and the expensive clothing, she's got her laundry list of insecurities. That woman whose husband seems perfect, doting on her hand and foot; don't let yourself think that their marriage its perfect or that they never argue.
It is easy to compare. When I started writing this post today I realized just how many comparisons I had done just in the last day!! Goodness. But the comparing can eat you up inside. It can destroy your self worth. It can bring a shadow to all you have accomplished.
I found this to be reassuring to my own insecurities when it comes to comparison:
"For The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but The Lord looks at the heart." (1Samuel 16:7b)
I guess what I hope for, with all my flaws and shortcomings, is that maybe those who are my nearest and dearest would look past what I am not and look to my heart. And maybe that's what I need to be working on more than all the other things that might make me look good (because let's be honest: those crumbs that having been living on the floor for the past week are not bearing witness to my excellent cleaning skills), but spend more time working on this heart of mine: a heart after Jesus.
Wow! Lengthy. I'm sorry to those of you who open up my blog and enjoy the short posts because today is more of a mini novel. Whoops!
KC
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